Asking a woman to "cover up" because you're uncomfortable with a totally legal, totally natural act is absurd. Also, "covering up" is not as easy as it sounds. There are several reasons why breastfeeding moms are unable to shield their offensive boobs while trying to feed their children.
1. Some babies don't like to nurse in a sweat lodge.
Some babies actually will not breastfeed under a cover. If you are confused by this, why don't you try bringing a blanket with you to dinner and placing it over your head. How is your dining experience?
2. Babies get hungry.
Babies arbitrarily get hungry, and we forgot to bring the cover we don't own. We were too busy thinking about caring for our children to plan a trip to Buy Buy Baby to buy a cover-up so strangers can feel more comfortable around us.
3. Poor engineering.
A lot of breastfeeding cover ups are made of non-breathable fabric. Truth. We don't understand this.
4. Because we don't have to.
There is no law against it, so why do we have to buy one of these things anyway? Need we remind you that breastfeeding in public is legal?
5. There are actual offensive things out there.
Have you turned on CNN lately? There are actual legitimate things in the world to be concerned about.
We're too tired to care that you are horrified by nipples. We can't even hear you over our yawning.
7. Selective hearing.
We listen to a steady stream of toddler whining all day, so your complaints fall on well-trained, deaf ears. La, la, la, la, la - we can't hear you!
We can't understand why you even care about this. Seriously - get a hobby.
We refuse to juggle bottles, ice-packs and other assorted feeding gear just so you'll shut up. We made it through the pain of the beginning stages of breastfeeding, and our reward is that we don't have to carry a bunch of crap around.
10. You can look away.
This is not A Clockwork Orange. You are not strapped to a chair with creepy contraptions keeping your eyelids open, forcing you to stare at us. Look away.
(Dave Clark Digital Photo/ Shutterstock)