Holidays

10 Sexy Disney Costumes For Moms That Will Embarrass Kids On Halloween

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Look, if you want to dress sexy on Halloween, more power to you. I find the cultural obsession with “Slut-o-ween” obnoxious, and yet another male gaze-enforced, societal catch 22 for women in which we’re expected to be sexy but — gasp! — not that sexy! Do you this Halloween, in whatever outfit that might be. IMHO the best part of the holiday is that it gives you ample opportunity to embarrass your kids by wearing something ridiculous (family costumes FTW). And if you are in the mood to show some skin this October, might I suggest one of these super hot Disney costumes? Because why be a sexy nurse when you can be a sexy Jack Sparrow instead?

1.Jack Sparrow

Seriously, I wasn’t kidding. There is a sexy Jack Sparrow costume and it is swashbuckingly awesome. Bizarro British accent sold separately.

2. Peter Pan

This costume is a lot cuter than the one Allison Williams will be wearing in the live Peter Pan musical. But did they really need to stitch “I <3 Lost Boys” onto the front? #creeperpan

3. Mad Hatter

This looks like something Lady Gaga would design on a celebrity season of Project Runway. Make it work, little monsters!

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49 Comments

  1. Spongeworthy

    September 22, 2014 at 11:17 am

    I love the Ursula costume, and I don’t even like The Little Mermaid very much. But she is such a wonderful villain.
    But how could you leave Sexy Nemo off the list?
    http://images.halloweencostumes.com/products/2157/1-1/naughty-nemo-costume.jpg

    • Kate Spencer

      September 22, 2014 at 11:24 am

      OMG I missed this one! I edited this list down to 10, but I feel like we might need a part 2….

    • Kate Spencer

      September 22, 2014 at 11:24 am

      And yes, agree with Ursula. I was tempted to buy it.

    • Spongeworthy

      September 22, 2014 at 11:36 am

      Well, since every character imaginable now has a “sexy” costume, I’m sure it’s hard to narrow it down. You could probably do 5 of these and still not get them all.

    • ohladyjayne

      September 22, 2014 at 12:40 pm

      It’s true. Yesterday at the halloween store I saw sexy Freddy Kruger and sexy Where’s Waldo.

      I have no issue with sexy costumes (I have worn many homemade costumes with lots of skin/fishnets myself) but I just bemoan the lack of imagination….for me, costumes are all about finding that perfect whatever at the thrift store and being inspired.

      I mean, I get that we’re not all crafty, I just find the idea of throwing down $40 on what looks like a very itchy few pieces of fabric that 8 other girls at the party might also be wearing…..meh.

    • Kate Spencer

      September 22, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      I am trying to resolve this with my daughter’s costume. She wants to be Ariel. Do I just buy it? Do I try to be creative?

    • Rachel Sea

      September 22, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      You should google “Disney Bound” it’s how adults get creatively around the prohibition against costumes in the parks. There are endless ways to dress as Ariel without buying a costume-in-a-bag.

    • ohladyjayne

      September 22, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      My kid is going to be (sigh) Elsa. I’m making her costume myself, even though I know it would be a hundred times easier and probably cheaper to just buy it myself. I don’t know why. Well, I sort of know why, but it doesn’t even really make sense.

      It’s going to be a rough month.

    • heather

      September 22, 2014 at 9:40 pm

      I went as Ariel one halloween (my favorite because she also had RED HAIR). My mom just bought some sequin-y purple fabric and wrapped it around me and fasted with safety pins a-la tube top and then did the same with a piece of green fabric (she just happened to find some that was a print that looked kind of like scales if you squinted. She sewed on some green tule at the bottom to make a fin. It was probably my favorite halloween costume ever.

    • Spongeworthy

      September 22, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      The lack of imagination bugs me too. I’m not very into Halloween but if I’m going to dress up its going to be fun. not just some random character that got a “sexy” label slapped on it.

    • jo

      September 22, 2014 at 10:03 pm

      How the hell do you do a sexy Where’s Waldo?

    • Kate Spencer

      September 22, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      It is terrifyingly endless.

    • keelhaulrose

      September 22, 2014 at 2:56 pm

      If you’re going for it, nothing says ‘sexy’ like monsters…

      http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Fl0WxJdgABE/UlODRVbXCuI/AAAAAAAAAac/NlLy4nEH9XI/s1600/Yandy-MonstersInc.png

    • rockmonster

      September 22, 2014 at 3:09 pm

      Ew, leg warmers.

    • Rachel

      September 27, 2014 at 5:36 am

      I think their cute although in a childish way.

    • Sherri

      September 22, 2014 at 6:52 pm

      My first thought was that the crotch on Mike was going to eat me.

    • EX

      September 22, 2014 at 11:56 am

      That’s insane.

  2. EX

    September 22, 2014 at 11:55 am

    If I wore that Belle costume my daughter would wonder who cut off my dress. My absolute pet peeve, though, are these costumes that just reference a character (like animal or miss piggy). What is the point? Just wear jeans and a muppet t-shirt and you’d be all set if you don’t want to even TRY to look like someone/something else. And yes, that Ursula costume is pretty awesome.

    • Kate Spencer

      September 22, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      I know, this bugs me too. It’s not really a costume!!!

    • SunnyD847

      September 22, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      I hate when the character’s face is on top of the kid’s face so the kid’s face is still showing. If the kid is the character then they should only have one face. Otherwise it looks like the character is eating the kid who is peering out of its mouth.

    • Caitlin Burrows

      September 22, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      Reminds me of that Halloween episode from The Simpsons:

      Milhouse: Check it out Lisa! I’m Radioactive Man!
      Lisa: I don’t think the real Radioactive Man wears a plastic smock with a picture of himself on it.

      Milhouse: He would on Halloween!

    • Amanda Johnson

      September 22, 2014 at 2:40 pm

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  3. Bleu Cheese Bewbs

    September 22, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    The sexy costumes are out of control. It’s not just Disney either. Behold! Sexy Hamburger.

    http://www.yandy.com/Sexy-Hamburger-Costume.php

    • Kate Spencer

      September 22, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      NOM

    • WhoremonalCrazyLotusSlugalo

      September 22, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      HA! Did you see the french fries with “Hot Fries” emblazoned over her vagina? Good stuff….good stuff.

    • Jem

      September 22, 2014 at 1:38 pm

      my best friend’s husband wanted their 1 year old daughter to be a ketchup packet for halloween. He really did. Maybe it would pair well with this costume.

    • keelhaulrose

      September 22, 2014 at 2:53 pm

  4. LK

    September 22, 2014 at 12:38 pm

    I HATE these, and I HATE whatever dumb idiots buy them and encourage these asshats to make more. HATE HATE HATE.

    • TheCrazyLotusSlugalo

      September 22, 2014 at 12:59 pm

      I’m not sure you’re making your feelings clear. ;D

    • LK

      September 22, 2014 at 1:23 pm

      HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE.

    • TheCrazyLotusSlugalo

      September 22, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      I think I’m starting to get it.

  5. JulesInNC

    September 22, 2014 at 12:53 pm

    I’m going to be about 6 months pregnant for Halloween, which means that I am 100% taking advantage of the opportunity to be a pregnant nun. My (adamantly athiest) husband will be choosing between priest and pope.

    But we’re kind enough to leave our toddler out of our warped statement: she’ll be in the cute little German dress some friends brought her.

    • goofyjj

      September 22, 2014 at 3:21 pm

      why not alter boy?

    • JulesInNC

      September 22, 2014 at 3:32 pm

      It seems wrong, but I’m so tempted…

    • goofyjj

      September 22, 2014 at 3:47 pm

      but it would be hilarious

    • goofyjj

      September 23, 2014 at 2:15 pm

      oh come on. Do it!

  6. candyvines

    September 22, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    I’m going as sexy measles this year.

    • rockmonster

      September 22, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      EWWW

  7. Megan

    September 22, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    So I’m running the disney half marathon in January and costumes are encouraged. To set myself apart and make me feel badass ( hopefully ) I’m running dressed as Ursula. That costume is great inspiration!

    • Spongeworthy

      September 22, 2014 at 2:00 pm

      That is awesome! Start practicing your maniacal laugh during runs–it will be extra cardio 😉

    • alexesq33

      September 22, 2014 at 3:11 pm

      That sounds great – I hope your costume is a bit more “breathable” than the one pictured above!! 🙂 good luck!

  8. rockmonster

    September 22, 2014 at 2:37 pm

    These costumes are bad and you should feel bad.

  9. Samantha Lobdell

    September 22, 2014 at 2:44 pm

    I actually think the pirate costume would be a little better if you didn’t tell people it was a specific pirate. And authentic woman pirate would be easier to pull of for us non-skinny people since (if I read right anyway) they just wore the same clothes the men wore, but that’s another story entirely.

  10. SarahJesness

    September 22, 2014 at 3:12 pm

    I still enjoy sexy costumes (I’m gonna be a sexy astronaut this year! I wanted to be a sexy orca whale but the costume is too expensive) though they don’t feel as special now that I’m in college and can dress slutty whenever I want. But a lot of the sexy costumes are pretty stupid.

  11. momma425

    September 22, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    Why would you make a sexy playboy Mickey mouse costume? I’m not a guy so maybe I’m wrong, but I can’t think of a less sexy Disney character than Mickey. At least if you’re Pluto you can do the whole dog collar thing…

    Also, I LOVE that Ursula outfit. Except that I think my five year old would demand one in her size (she’s obsessed with villains).

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