ADVERTISEMENT

Childrearing

Your Sex Life Isn’t Sexy Anymore: 10 Reasons Why It’s Totally Your Kid’s Fault

By  | 
ADVERTISEMENT

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault thanks jpg

My sex life is suffering since I gave birth to my second child. A three-year-old and a seven-month-old equals no time for ourselves. I know this is such a cliche´ and there are people who will inevitably say, you’re obviously doing something wrong! Our sex life hasn’t been affected at all! In fact – it’s improved since we’ve had kids! But I will just think you are all big, humblebragging liars because – wait, what was I saying? I’m so exhausted I lost my train of thought.

Exhaustion. Also, time. All of a sudden, it seems like time is just not on my side anymore. If you are the parent of young children, finding any time for yourself can be challenging. Finding time for sexy-time can be almost impossible.

What it boils down to is – I blame my kids. You should probably blame your kids, too. Here’s why:

1. You need sleep.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault gif i wish i could sleep lost in tranlation quote Favim com 238925 gif

Yay! Kids are finally in bed! Your day is done! You’re exhausted.

2. You have to check your email.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault giphy gif

All those things you used to have time for are getting crammed into the few minute intervals throughout the day when you are not needed. You’d rather be having sex, but your boss is going to kill you.

3. Stuff needs to get done.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault Perform A Tedious Obligation gifTedious obligations are happening during those precious moments when you should be getting down.

4. The Bachelor is fucking two hours long. 

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault juan pablo galavis bachelor GIF gif

The kids are asleep, but you’re spending two hours on this. Why Juan Carlos? Why?

5. There are constantly people trying to touch you.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault tumblr m8b79jMR4y1rqgghmo1 500 gif

Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes I just want five solid minutes when someone isn’t trying to feed off me or hold my hand.

6. You need sleep.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault r2d2 jpg

Did I mention this one already?

7. You walked by a mirror.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault tumblr mets2xgmtg1r0ftodo1 400 gif

There is something distinctly unsexy about the vomit in your hair and breast milk on your shirt.

8. You find it hard to get turned on when someone is singing, Don’t Bite Your Friends! in the other room.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault 4cZmX gif

Certain things you find so adorable at other times of the day make your love shack close for business.

9. Having sex in front of a sleeping baby creeps you out and it’s too cold to move to the couch.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault 5d2b0n gif

How long is this crib going to be in our room?

10. You need sleep.

Your Sex Life Isn t Sexy Anymore  10 Reasons Why It s Totally Your Kid s Fault exhausted gif

Maybe I already mentioned this?

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
comments
';