A lot of things become harder after having kids, like eating candy without your kids begging for it, using the bathroom in peace, and watching television where the characters AREN’T animated and turn to the screen to ask you questions. But perhaps the most frustrating change is sex after kids (or the lack thereof). Remember those care free days of having sex where and whenever you want it? No? Me neither. And neither do these funny parents.
So, what is sex after kids really like, well, it’s a mix, according to these parents:
1. Sleep is sexy
— Dracula (@mavismouse1234) February 2, 2017
There’s nothing sexier than a well-rested partner.
2. If this isn’t #MomLife, I don’t know what is.
— JillOfAllTrades (@lifebeforemom) January 13, 2017
Multitasking at its finest.
3. And this sums up #DadLife.
People think being a dad is just wearing cargo shorts and making lame jokes but you also got to have sex at least once and that was cool.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 26, 2016
Focus on the joy of cargo shorts.
4. The timing has to be just right.
#sexafterbaby is like being an earth bound space shuttle. If "reentry" is 3am u go for it or miss window & spend another week in orbit.
— jlamarsh44 (@jarman44) December 12, 2011
I was told there would be no math.
5. She has a good point
Dear parents who photograph their children napping or set up dinosaur scenes while their kids are sleeping: You should be having sex.
— everything's GREAT (@SarahThyre) November 20, 2013
Or at least, you know, also napping.
6. We love it when you talk dirty.
— Baby Monologues (@babymonologues) July 29, 2016
But that wasn’t exactly what we had in mind.
7. This is my “feeling sexy” outfit.
Just put on fancy socks and a night shirt with no food stains so I can try to seduce my husband later.
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) January 23, 2016
And I’m not wearing any underwear (because I haven’t done the laundry).