Selling Your Baby Gear On Facebook Confirms The End Of Baby-Making
When my husband and I first started dating – a lifetime ago – we agreed we wanted a “big” family (he’s one of four kids, I’m one of three). We had our first, followed a few later by our second, and one day not too long ago we realized we’re done. As in, no more kids for us. Ever.
Of course, it wasn’t always so simple. I spent years deliberating and well, I always wondered if I’d one day regret stopping at two. But there comes a point where you just know. It doesn’t mean you know with certainty – at least not in my case – but let’s just say you grow comfortable with your decision. Still, after all those years of agonizing, selling my baby gear on Facebook is what finally made me realize with absolute certainly: this shop is closed for business.
For years now, we’ve had our our infant car seat, high chair, baby clothes, breast pump, Pack ‘N Play placed neatly in storage. Even our Bugaboo hasn’t been touched in close to a year – our baby just turned 3 and prefers running to strolling – but there it sits in our front hall, taunting us all.
Earlier this year, it finally occurred to me that my younger son was ready for a “big boy” bed, which meant bidding farewell to his old-school, barely-legal, drop-side crib and a glider that feels like it’s fresh out of 1992 (green gingham – not so hot). And the dresser-slash-change table? That had to go, too. So I posted them all on Facebook with the caption: “For sale: crib, glider and dresser. First come, first serve. All offers welcome.”
Well! The comments that ensued said more about our decision to close up shop than the furniture itself. “But you told me you were having three more kids,” wrote one friend. “Yeah, I’d be awesome with five kids – can’t you just see it?” I responded jokingly. “Where will little baby Hannah sleep?” wrote another, referring to the fact that I always wanted a little girl (clearly Hannah was my baby name of choice).
A friend in Michigan, himself a dad of two, wrote, “Being done is awesome, isn’t it?” I think it’s that precise moment that I realized, “Um, yeah, being done is awesome.” That is, until another Facebook friend – a mom at my kid’s school with whom I used to carpool, had this to say, “Selling baby furniture on Facebook is a public announcement that the shop’s closed. Too bad, you’re great parents.” I was touched, obviously, but it did induce a bit of panic (holy shit, we’re done!).
Now that the stuff is out of my house, I can say with confidence it feels good. Liberating.
That said, I received an email earlier this month from an old high-school friend. “Do you still have my Sevens maternity jeans?” she asked. “Looks like I’ll be needing them.” I was floored! She has a 7-year-old and and an almost 5-year-year-old, and she declared years ago in no uncertain terms that she was done.
We ended up chatting and, well, I’d say her pregnancy is somewhat of a planned-out “oops” (I know that sounds like an oxymoron, but any mom who’s questioned whether or not she should have another child will know what I mean). Needless to say, I am thrilled for her, and of course it got me thinking about my decision once again. Or, more specifically, it got me thinking that while selling my baby gear on Facebook is indeed a public declaration that I’m finished having kids, buying a new crib is simple enough.