Scary Mommy: The 10 Stages of Choosing a Halloween Costume

Kids-Halloween-CostumesStage 1: Realization. This stage typically occurs in late August. You know, when CVS begins to display candy corn on all of their end caps. Wonderful. Just wonderful, dearest CVS. You have officially ruined the months of September and October, not to mention the last few days of summer because now we get to entertain the question, ”How many more days until Halloween?” for approximately 57 days. Sweet. (No pun intended)

Stage 2: Assessment. Now that the sugar radar is officially on high alert (no really, thanks again, CVS), your child will begin to assess his/her options. No, that’s not one of your old college essays your child dug out of the memory bin, it’s the latest Halloween costume catalogue that he graciously annotated with permanent red marker. After he’s done feverishly circling, starring and x-ing you can find comfort in knowing he’s likely narrowed the pool of costume contenders down to 27 options”¦”¦

Stage 3: Commitment. The committal stage typically occurs at the bus stop or in another social setting when your child decides to blurt out, ”Hey guys! I’m gonna be a TRANSFORMER for Halloween! Boo yow!” When he gets blank stares from his friends who have decided to be the cast of Star Wars he will quickly move into Stage 4”¦.

Stage 4: Denial. Ha. Ha. HA!!!”¦He was totally kidding about being a Transformer. Duh. His little brother is going to be a Transformer. (Then he whispers in your ear to ask if you can rent the Star Wars movie, so he can see what options remain).

Stage 5: Panic. After a visit with older ”cooler” cousins or friends, your child will learn that they are going ”practical” this Halloween and being football players. What is a kid to do? Panic sets in. Should he band with the friends or be cool like the cousins?

Stage 6: Reassurance. At this point parental interjection is necessary before your child needs to be committed over Halloween costume selection. You will likely discuss topics such as independence, making your own choices, and practicality because not every mama can whip up a Chewbacca costume with 3 days notice.

Stage 7: Acceptance. Ladies and gentleman, it’s official! He’s gonna be a COWBOY! Praise. The. Lord. A decision has been made!!!!!

Until”¦..

Stage 8: Doubt. After the in-school Halloween parade, he thinks he wants to be something else for real Halloween because the Cowboy costume wasn’t nearly as awesome as he planned.

Stage 9: Bribery. Again, parental involvement is necessary in this final stage because it is now 5:30 on October 31st and your child refuses to wear the selected costume because, as mentioned previously, at the school parade so-and-so was a freakin ”selfie” and why couldn’t I have made something that cool? (At this point it is acceptable for you, the parent, to curse Polly Perfect Parent for making you and every other mom and dad who bought a costume instead of making it feel inadequate). You now have one remaining option. You will be forced to dangle the carrot: ”No costume, no candy.”

Stage 10: Did someone say candy? Your child will run down to the basement, grab the firefighter costume that he’s been playing dress up with for years and run outside with an empty pillow case blowing behind him in the wind.

Really?

Really.

This post originally appeared on Scary Mommy. Read more here.

About the author: Lindsey is a former elementary school teacher turned stay-at-home-mom to three beautiful boys under the age of 4. Her blog chronicles her sometimes humorous, sometimes serious take on motherhood with small doses of her favorite finds, fashion, family-friendly recipes, home decor”¦ and a few crafts (but not many and not the super messy ones). You can find Lindsey at her website Sisters to Sons and also on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

(Photo: Shutterstock)

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