Open Thread: What’s The Rudest Thing A Stranger Said To You When You Were Pregnant?

Once upon a time there was an open thread post where I said that pregnant women were unsolicited advice magnets. That is true, of course, but most advice-givers are well meaning. It wasn’t until I was reminiscing with some friends today about the good old days of hemorrhoids and itchy nipples that I remembered one of the other, more awful things that pregnant women attract: assholes.

For some reason, the filters that exist when they’re a regular person and not a pregnant person just don’t exist when someone in their general vicinity is knocked up. Not only can people tell you to do dumb, folksy shit like the tried and true method of smoking crack cocaine for morning sickness, but they feel okay criticizing, patronizing, and sometimes straight up insulting those fat pregnant broads, amirite? It’s like they can’t help it. Sometimes, I’m not even sure it really is on purpose–it’s like they open the words hole in their face and words come out of it unbidden.

I know that I had to develop an arsenal and witty comebacks to deploy whenever some rude, nosy old biddy sidled up to me in a Kroger wanting to know who I thought I was; what with my young age and my pregnant belly and my lack of engagement/wedding ring.

When people asked why I didn’t have a ring in on my finger or gasped a scandalized, “You aren’t married?” I would usually answer something like, “No, but the father is,” start to sniffle really conspicuously until the rude party had the decency to look embarrassed, and then practice my fuck you flounce, which is really hard to do when you’re pregnant.

So I want to know what the rudest, most oblivious, most WTF, or most jacked up thing anyone ever said to you when you were pregnant is. Go! Dredge up those memories and get it all out. We’re here for you.

(Image: Blaj Gabriel/Shutterstock)