Pregnancy

The Rudest Things People Have Said To Our Pregnant Readers

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rude comments to pregnant womenOn Monday, when I asked for the rudest things anyone has ever said to you while your kids were gestating, I knew you would not disappoint. After all, in this ever changing world of ours, you can always rely on people to be big ol’ dicks to pregnant ladies, because people are the worst.

Except us. We’re awesome.

I do wonder if I will earn the right to be not nice to pregnant ladies myself when I am an old lady, because it does seem to be a past time populated most often by old ladies. If so, then I will have plenty of great material to draw from because wow, people were total assholes to you guys.

“Being pregnant” is not an excuse for being hideously, offensively, eye-shatteringly FAT.

beep beep beep

duplex

Or fugly, ew.

hey ugly

ew

Some people will think you’re beautiful, though.

hotpregnantpics

But mostly people will just be really concerned that you might be a big ol’ whore, who’s had so many dicks inside of you that you can’t possibly suss out your child’s father.

not married

worst advice 2

Of course if you have whore nails it’s not like you didn’t bring it upon yourself.

whore nails

Why you would want to keep all of your multiples really baffles the shit out of some people.

keep them all

Why would you want to keep a (disgusted face) BOY?

worst advice 1Moral of the story? People are godawful. On the plus side, I love some of your comebacks so much I want to compile them into a manifesto and hand them out at the gynecologist’s office to pregnant women. Let’s see if they actually enforce that “lifetime ban” that nurse was so worked up about.

(Image:Marina Svetlova/Shutterstock)

181 Comments

  1. Lisa Walker

    July 10, 2014 at 9:23 am

    When I was about 7 months pregnant I just started Ignoring all people in the store when they talked to me because they would ask when I was due then say ‘WOW! Are you sure it’s not twins!’

    • Becks

      July 10, 2014 at 9:28 am

      That’s the worst! I’ll never understand why people feel they can say whatever pops into their heads when they’re talking to someone who’s pregnant. “Are you sure it’s not twins?” “You better not have that baby here!” “Do you really think you’ll make it to your due date?” “You’re how far along? WOW!!! You’re really big/small for that, don’t you think?”

    • Lisa Walker

      July 10, 2014 at 9:32 am

      What pissed me off the most about it was when it was women with children in tow. Come on, YOU should know way better than that!

    • Becks

      July 10, 2014 at 9:33 am

      It’s always women. Always. Don’t they remember??? The ONLY thing that should be said to someone is pregnant is, “You look beautiful!” That’s it.

    • Lisa Walker

      July 10, 2014 at 9:40 am

      I think the women that start with making those comments during your pregnancy are also the same ones that comment on anything about your kids that they don’t like. I had my son in a grocery lineup and he was laughing at some toy and this woman with her kids was turning around and glaring at him and telling her kids they were being so good and quiet unlike SOME peoples children and I said Excuse me would you like me to pinch him so he cries? The kid is laughing, jerk.

    • Kendra

      July 10, 2014 at 9:42 am

      Ugh, I can’t believe you allowed your child to LAUGH in public!!! How dare you!

    • Lisa Walker

      July 10, 2014 at 9:44 am

      I know what a terrible mother! Someone should call CPS.

    • Lisa Walker

      July 10, 2014 at 9:44 am

      I know what a terrible mother! Someone should call CPS.

    • Kendra

      July 10, 2014 at 9:42 am

      Ugh, I can’t believe you allowed your child to LAUGH in public!!! How dare you!

    • Larkin

      July 10, 2014 at 3:11 pm

      In the line at a grocery store??? I didn’t realize kids weren’t allowed to laugh or talk in grocery stores anymore. Good to know.

    • Elizabeth Licata

      July 10, 2014 at 10:06 am

      Ha! My mom says Gucci actually kicked her out of the store back in 1983ish. She was like, “What?” And they were like, “We don’t want you to have a baby in the store.” She wasn’t even that close to her due date or anything.

    • middleofnowheremom

      July 10, 2014 at 10:00 am

      I had 10 pound boys both times, and I’m a tall 6′ woman with a broad stature as it is. Every, single time, I’d have people tell me they’d bet I was having twins. My comeback finally turned into, “Well if I have 2, I’ll be sure to give one to YOU.”

    • Teach

      July 10, 2014 at 11:15 am

      I think it is because we have an idea of what a full term belly looks like. My friend and I are both teachers and she taught right up to the end. She gave birth the day after she started mat leave. She thought she still had two weeks. But her students and my students (because they knew that we are friends) would ask questions (you know, because kids) and I would tell them, no, that’s what a pregnant belly looks like. And they would be like… Really? Yup, kids. That’s what it looks like. Twins can be bigger… Their eyes got really big. haha.

  2. Becks

    July 10, 2014 at 9:29 am

    When strangers touch my pregnant belly, I touch their bellies back. YEAH! Not so fun, is it???

    • Litterboxjen

      July 10, 2014 at 9:29 am

      You. I like you.

    • Becks

      July 10, 2014 at 9:32 am

      Aw, shucks.

    • Lisa Walker

      July 10, 2014 at 9:34 am

      No one ever dared to touch my belly. I perfected the best scowl for being out in public.

    • Hibbie

      July 10, 2014 at 9:36 am

      I have major resting bitch face so no one even tried. Not even my mom!

    • Jem

      July 10, 2014 at 9:39 am

      haha that must be why I never had that problem either!

    • Cruelty Cupcake

      July 10, 2014 at 9:56 am

      I was just going to say this. No one fucked with me but I know I can thank my bitchface for that.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 9:59 am

      Me too. It’s a gift.

    • Elizabeth Licata

      July 10, 2014 at 10:04 am

      Yeah, nobody has come anywhere near me. I get stared at a lot, though. Like, more than usual, and people here stare a lot. (I live in Germany, and people in this town stare a whole lot. Not sure why.)

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:17 am

      I think Germans are just more comfortable with ‘looking’ at people in general. Both times I’ve lived there, I’ve noticed that they tend to look more than Americans do.

    • KaeTay

      July 10, 2014 at 10:29 am

      I didn’t think it was possible to be nosier than an American lol.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:31 am

      I wouldn’t call it nosiness necessarily – it’s just that more eye contact is the norm, I guess. Hard to explain. Germany and Germans are awesome, though. I will gladly go back a third time!

    • Jezebeelzebub

      July 10, 2014 at 10:39 am

      I WOULD! I would totally call it nosiness. I used to live in Germany (Munich) and people will just run up on you and ASK you shit- all kinds of shit. Personal shit, they don’t even care. But also they don’t seem to take it personally when you say you don’t want to discuss whatever they asked you about. I loved Germany, too, though. I plan on going back eventually.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:41 am

      Haha! Well, there is THAT. One of the ladies that worked with my husband got a lecture from her neighbor about taking too many baths and using too much water. Well-intentioned but yeah, a bit intrusive if you are an American. Definitely a differnet culture but I loooooooooove it. I was in Heidelberg the first time and Bamberg the second. We are trying to go back but there aren’t many openings for my husband anymore.

    • Fondue

      July 10, 2014 at 11:14 am

      I’m hoping my chronic RBF will be my salvation against unwanted belly rubbing.

    • Kati

      July 10, 2014 at 11:40 am

      Hooray for resting bitch face. Repels even the boldest of grandmothers. I think the only person bold enough to touch my belly was my sister. I even had to tell my mom it was okay once for her to do so. Protecting newborns was harder because strangers were so intent on touching the baby they didn’t notice my dagger-eyes digging into their soul. I just turned my body until only the top of the head was visible/touchable and waited for eye contact and then watched their eyes widen as they backed away slowly 😉

    • Kitsune

      July 10, 2014 at 11:49 am

      I love my resting bitch face. It saves me from unwanted contact all the time

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 11:55 am

      I apparently need to work on mine. I am approached by crazy people All. The. Time.

    • NoMissCleo...JustMe

      July 11, 2014 at 12:41 pm

      My resting bitch face just got me in trouble at Target in the most bizarre way possible.

      Scene: I’m in work-out gear with my sunglasses on, pushing my cart of groceries out the front doors with my 3-year-old hanging on the side. In front of me is a very pregnant woman carrying a lamp with her two older kids slowly, crookedly pushing the cart of groceries behind her. They swerve and hit another cart and then start arguing.

      The woman says, “sorry” but I wasn’t paying attention and didn’t know it was aimed at me, so I say nothing in return.

      She waits a beat and says snottily, “I SAID sorry.” At this point in time I clue in that she’s talking to me but before I can respond (and quite frankly, what do I say?!) she turns her head and flounces, “Wow. Real friendly.”

      Excuse me? I look at her, confused and reply, “what do you expect me to say?” And she just goes, “you could at least smile.”

      At this point I realize that this very pregnant woman is most likely projecting her own issues onto me and I just shake my head and say, “I’m just trying to get my shopping done” and then I walk away.

      Crazy. I didn’t know I was obligated to smile at her precious children when they were in fact, slowing down an entire line of people trying to get out the door.

    • Kitsune

      July 11, 2014 at 1:08 pm

      That is crazy and I too would just chalk it up to pregnancy hormones. I will smile at cashiers and the like but feel under no obligation to do so with random strangers. That’s why I live in New England.

    • NoMissCleo...JustMe

      July 11, 2014 at 2:49 pm

      I posted this story on my FB page and the comment was flooded with Resting Bitch Face memes….made my day.

    • Fallopian Twerker Phillips

      July 10, 2014 at 12:01 pm

      Whatever the opposite of resting bitch face is, I have it. I look like a sweet, dumb puppy. It’s annoying in it’s own way, but I do enjoy the look of true horror I get from people when I open my mouth, especially if they’ve pissed me off. As one of my guy friends put it, “It’s like getting a smack down from the Little House On The Prairie girl.”

    • Kat

      July 10, 2014 at 2:05 pm

      Resting bitch face is a Darwinian survival advantage.

    • Eve Vawter

      July 10, 2014 at 9:57 am

      hee hee hee

    • Jayamama

      July 10, 2014 at 10:00 am

      I was actually hoping that someone would touch me during my second pregnancy. I was a lot more bold, probably because I was miserable all the time and eager to pass it on, and I would have loved to touch someone else in a way to make them uncomfortable to make a point. But it never happened. Maybe that’s because I hardly left home.

    • Psych Student

      July 10, 2014 at 11:39 am

      I want to do the same thing. You touch me, I touch you back. It seems like it would be a lot of fun.

    • js argh

      July 10, 2014 at 10:28 pm

      It is. The one person who touched my pregnant stomach without permission was an elderly male acquaintance. He was beside himself when I touched his stomach in response.

    • Guy C

      July 10, 2014 at 10:10 am

      This was a theme in our ante-natal classes back in the day, where the teacher reinforced the idea that mums are allowed to tell people to back off, and that other people should ask permission. I always thought it was really surprising that that even had to be said, especially to the new mums. That’s something that should be pounded into everyone else as respect for personal boundaries.

      (Admittedly, this is probably because I do have a privileged position, being born white, middle class, male and American. I have never had to deal with these aspects of life that other people do on a regular basis)

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:13 am

      I don’t think it has much to do with a privileged position and has everything to do with people keeping their hands to themselves. Pregnant bellies are not public domain any more than any other body part.

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 10:18 am

      But see, you seem like a normal human with boundaries. It’s shocking to see how many people *don’t* have any at all. I could not believe the number of incredibly personal questions and comments and whatnot that I got while pregnant, and I think that even if you have a relatively drama-free pregnancy, that’s pretty normal.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:21 am

      Exactly. What makes people think that pregnancy = public domain?

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 10:35 am

      The other thing that kills me is that I think a lot of people who ask these questions would be shocked and hurt if you implied they were too personal. I remember having a really uncomfortable conversation with a co-worker where I was trying to answer her questions about using a midwife but also not share my birth plan. I finally blurted out that I really didn’t want to share *our* plans because I felt like that was none of her business…I really thought she might cry. It’s so strange to me…

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:40 am

      At the risk of sounding really bitchy, is it really that hard for people to do research about that sort of thing on their own? I’m all for being helpful but there is a big difference between someone asking questions about something you’re knowledgeable about and fishing for private information.

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 10:43 am

      Well, my sister is a midwife, which is something people find strange and fascinating, so I am used to getting lots of questions about it whenever it comes up in casual conversation.

      And then because I was pregnant, I would get a lot of, “Are you going to see your sister for your pregnancy” and it went downhill from there. I don’t think it’s weird that people were asking ME specifically, but in general, yes, I agree with you. Google it if you’re so interested. 🙂

    • Psych Student

      July 10, 2014 at 11:38 am

      I agree with the Googling. There are times when people will invite others to ask questions (I’ve been part of panels as a member of the LGBTQ community, and it’s a great time for people to ask their craziest questions because it’s a great time), but don’t just start randomly asking people questions. We have the internet, it has the answers. It may not be the easiest way to collect accurate information but since no one person can represent an entire group of people anyway, then the internet is going to give a sufficient answer.

    • Psych Student

      July 10, 2014 at 11:33 am

      It just boggles my mind when people seem to lack boundaries. The willingness people have to just say whatever they want to someone, or touch another person just feels soooo strange to me. Are these people not taught proper manners? Did they lose them along the way? Do they not have epic anxiety problems that prevent them from engaging with other people? (I do sometimes wonder if it’s largely the anxiety that keeps me from pushing boundaries with others).

    • Momma425

      July 10, 2014 at 12:39 pm

      This is genius. I’m going to start seriously doing this.
      Stranger touching me: “Oooh, a baby.”
      Me touching them: “Ooooh, someone ate burritos!”

    • the_ether

      July 10, 2014 at 5:23 pm

      I put my hand on a coworker’s face when she touched my belly. She looked really shocked, but we both just stood there for a couple of seconds before she got the message
      Super weird.

    • Devon Handy

      July 10, 2014 at 9:04 pm

      I did the same thing! People HATED it. Especially when I would do to someone for a second or third time. They’d look at me horrified and mumble, “I thought that first time was a joke…?!”

    • Rowan

      July 11, 2014 at 3:50 am

      I always felt like saying “want a grope of my tits while you’re at it?” but restrained myself, in case they said yes.

    • Alice

      July 11, 2014 at 4:43 am

      If this ever happens to me, this will be my plan too. When I was a teen, strangers always used to come up to me and stroke my hair. It made me super uncomfortable. I wish I had had the nerve back then!

  3. NoMissCleo...JustMe

    July 10, 2014 at 9:34 am

    Maybe I was just oblivious to my surroundings, but I never heard anything too terrible directed at me while I was pregnant. I had a nurse in the hospital chastise me for not knowing my weight at the time of delivery, but other than that most of my frustrations during pregnancy and immediately post-partum dealt with my in-laws.

    Although I do have a good story to tell. I was terribly sick throughout my pregnancy and had an awful time keeping anything down. One night my husband and I were at Chili’s and I was eating a salad. I’m not sure what happened, but something churned my stomach and I threw up (not violently) all my food right back into my salad bowl. To say I was mortified is an understatement. I was crying and trying to cover up my plate with napkins because I felt sorry for our server.

    When he came over to check on us, I told him what happened – I can only imagine what he thought of this blubbering mess of a pregnant woman plus the fact that she threw up at the table. Ugh. I apologized profusely to him. Repeatedly. To his credit, he just said “I’m so sorry. Don’t worry about anything. I’m studying to be an EMT and I have to deal with stuff like this all the time. It doesn’t phase me one bit.”

    Bless his heart. He very well might have been completely grossed out, but he kept it to himself and was incredibly kind and comforting. He got a BIG tip from us that evening.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 10, 2014 at 9:52 am

      Such a lady, throwing up neatly into your salad bowl 😉

    • Sailor Fruitpunch

      July 10, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      I can’t tell you how many servers I have terrified by vomiting shortly after eating. Luckily, each time I’ve managed to hold my food down long enough to make it to the bathroom, leaving my husband to calmly explain to the freaked out staff that I was just pregnant not food poisoned.

    • NoMissCleo...JustMe

      July 10, 2014 at 2:26 pm

      Thank goodness I’m not the only one. 🙂

  4. Hibbie

    July 10, 2014 at 9:34 am

    The whore nails one is hysterical. Quite a non sequitur there, midwife. But a great story to tell!

    I never had anyone say anything outright rude to me (except the ubiquitous “awww, you look SO tired” aka “you look like shit”), but I did have a lady and her mom straight up argue with me in the middle of a Babies ‘R Us about the sex of my baby. I’m very tall and therefore appeared to carry quite low. According to these yahoos that meant I was having a boy (nope, girl, which I knew). They literally crept up behind me in the bottle aisle and shouted ” That must be a boy! You are carrying so low!” They would NOT accept my repeated answer that it was a girl and stormed off. It was really weird.

    • NoMissCleo...JustMe

      July 10, 2014 at 9:36 am

      I am tall as well, therefore didn’t show very much for a long time, nor did I get that large in the very end. I had my hospital check-in nurse question whether I was REALLY at 39 weeks and “allowed” to have my baby.

    • Hibbie

      July 10, 2014 at 9:38 am

      Yeah, my OBs were always grumbling about tall patients cause they rarely make the measurements. They kept harassing me to eat more. I ate plenty!

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 9:39 am

      Same here. I didn’t show much at all and only gained 10 pounds. I didn’t get asked questions like that but I did get some non-believing looks when I’d tell people how far along I was.

    • Kendra

      July 10, 2014 at 9:40 am

      I got those too…but it was because I’m only 5’1 and I looked like a whale from the start. So, mine were “are you sure you’re only that far?” or “Are you sure it isn’t twins?”

    • Hibbie

      July 10, 2014 at 9:41 am

      How hard is it to comprehend that women have different body types and that carries over into pregnancy? I mean, really.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 9:45 am

      I’m 5’11” and my uterus must be near my spine because I looked about 4-5 months pregnant when I delivered at 39 weeks. I only gained 10 pounds. My mom told me I didn’t do it right (labor and delivery). This is because I didn’t gain much weight, barely showed and had a c-section with no labor. Still boggles my mind 13 years later.

    • Kendra

      July 10, 2014 at 9:47 am

      If you made a baby, then I’m pretty sure that’s the only stipulation for doing it “right”.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 9:51 am

      She’s just mad because when she had me 40 years ago they let her suffer like they would never let a woman suffer today. She’s 5’4″ and was a size 8 when she got pregnant with me. I was 26 inches long and right at 11 pounds. hahaha.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 10, 2014 at 9:56 am

      OMG my sis told me I didn’t really give birth because I had a c-section and never went into labor. Um, the kid was in me, then he wasn’t. Pretty sure that counts.
      She also said to me, at my baby shower when I was about 7 months pregnant, “wow, you aren’t very big at all. I thought you’d be a huge beast by now.”

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 9:58 am

      I think your sister is my mom. I had an emergency c-section because I had severe complications. I didn’t ‘do it right’ in her eyes because she had to suffer to have me. Crazy.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 10, 2014 at 10:00 am

      I don’t understand the whole suffering=better argument when it comes to labor. My section was non-emergency due to pre-eclampsia and him being breech, so it was a pretty calm procedure. I’ve even had someone who had an emergency section tell me mine didn’t really count because it was “easy”. Seriously?!

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:05 am

      I don’t get it either. I was being induced because of pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure rose quickly despite what they were doing to treat it and I ended up having a mini-stroke just before they did the c-section. It was mild with no long term damage thankfully. I never understood the reasoning behind me ‘not doing it right’. This falls in line with most other things in my life though, I’ve never been enough for her but I’ve come to terms with that now.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 10, 2014 at 10:15 am

      That’s so scary! Glad everything turned out well.
      I was lucky in that they caught my pre-eclampsia at my 39-week appt and it wasn’t affecting the baby’s heart rate. So he was plenty developed to be born and we didn’t have to do it ASAP. They were ready to induce but on the US we saw he was butt down and too big to turn. Not what we had planned on, but what can you do?
      My sis and I have always had a complicated relationship. I love her, but she’s always been weirdly competitive with me about stuff that I didn’t care about.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:18 am

      I’m glad yours turned out well too. What is it with sisters?! Mine is the same way. I’ve has asthma since I was a kid that required hospitalization a couple of times. She was jealous of the attention I got. I’ll never understand it.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 10, 2014 at 10:26 am

      Yea, I don’t get it either. We look a lot alike, but personality wise we are just night and day. It’s so funny how that happens! I will say our relationship is much better now, but I don’t doubt that a lot if it has to do with living several states apart.

    • Jayamama

      July 10, 2014 at 10:10 am

      I think it’s because people feel cheated if their experience was hard and yours was not. They want to justify it in their mind because it’s not fair to them and so if they say that yours doesn’t count, then they’re validated in some way.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 10, 2014 at 10:18 am

      Could be. It just seems such a weird thing to be competitive about, or to say it doesn’t count if it went a certain way. If you have a baby, it counts as giving birth, you know? In the grand scheme of parenting, how you had the kid is just a blip in time to me.

    • Lisa Walker

      July 10, 2014 at 10:32 am

      I hate it when people say the c-section was so ‘easy’…yes, of course a major SURGERY is so easy, clearly I was able to run a marathon the next day!

    • Jayamama

      July 10, 2014 at 10:37 am

      The surgery itself seems easy, because you can just lie there instead of pushing. The recovery, however, is something that I hope I never have to experience. Sounds horrible.

      People do need to realize, though, that no matter how your baby came into the world, you gave birth to him or her.

    • Lisa Walker

      July 10, 2014 at 10:55 am

      The second c section was a breeze because it was scheduled.

      The first c section was an emergency…I was induced and then after 24 hours of labour the doctors decided I couldn’t do it on my own. I will never forget how I felt like a huge failure because I couldn’t have the baby vaginally, and scared beyond belief because I had to have this surgery, plus they were trying to prep me for a surgery and doing a spinal tap while I was still having contractions. I think I puked the entire surgery.

      Then after the c section you only get one quick glimpse of your baby then you get taken away to recovery for up to two hours to come out of the drug haze you’re in.

      I would have rather had the baby vaginally but I was told I never can.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 11:01 am

      My c-section recovery wasn’t difficult at all. I was sore but really didn’t have much pain at all. Everyone is different but mine really wasn’t bad. My friends think it’s because I’m a retired athlete and that we’re used to ‘playing through the pain’ but I called bullshit on that one. 😉

    • NoMissCleo...JustMe

      July 10, 2014 at 11:54 am

      Mine c-section recovery wasn’t that bad, either…but it does sound like you and I have similar builds – tall and athletic. I wonder if it has something to do with where the incision is made? Mine is so low and far away from major abdominal muscles…maybe that made it easier?! Interesting though…

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 12:10 pm

      I hadn’t considered that it might be where it’s made. Mine is low too. Interesting. The same friend that says it’s because we’re used to ‘playing through the pain’ also raised a good point. She said we both were ‘up and at ’em’ as soon as we could be after surgery. We didn’t baby ourselves (not to imply that anyone else is). Definitely interesting though.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:37 am

      Yep! Nothing like major surgery when you get like 48 hours recovery at the hospital but are immediately expected to care for another human being.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 10, 2014 at 10:40 am

      Yea, I don’t get that. Obviously vaginal delivery can be hard, but so can a section. It all has it’s own challenges, benefits, and no matter what your body is recovering from a major event at the same time you’re caring for a helpless human being you just met. IT’S ALL HARD.

    • Hibbie

      July 10, 2014 at 9:41 am

      How hard is it to comprehend that women have different body types and that carries over into pregnancy? I mean, really.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:04 am

      5’5 and short-waisted over here, so I feel you. There is literally nowhere for the baby to go but out! Add to that Gestational Diabetes, and my doctor basically assumed I was just laying around eating all the junk. Seriously! She gave me a lecture one week about how I can’t sit around and eat cheesecake until the baby is born. Uh, thanks, lady, but I’m not doing that AT ALL. I really did try to control my blood sugar. Fast forward to the next week and she checks my glucometer again and is all “Yeah, towards the end of the pregnancy it can be really hard to keep your blood sugar under control”. GO FUCK YOURSELF.

    • Kendra

      July 10, 2014 at 9:41 am

      I thought it was funny when people tried to guess if I was carrying high or low. Nobody could ever decide. I’m very short with a short torso so I was carrying high AND low!! Or, as I called it, I’m carrying “Full abdomen”.

    • guest

      July 10, 2014 at 10:37 am

      “They have this thing called an ultrasound that tells me what the gender is so depsite your guesses, I’m going to have to reiterate that it is in fact a girl. Also, stfu.”

  5. middleofnowheremom

    July 10, 2014 at 9:52 am

    I went through a major weight loss (50-ish pounds) in the hopes of it helping me conceive. It was a year long struggle and it worked for me. Then when I was about 6 months pregnant with my youngest I ran into an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in awhile and she looks at me and goes, “OH hunny, you fell off the weight loss wagon, you were doing so good! Sorry to see you give it up!” I didn’t know what to say, so I just looked at her and said, “No, I’m pregnant.” And walked away.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 9:52 am

      Wow. What a bitch.

    • middleofnowheremom

      July 10, 2014 at 9:54 am

      Yup, and she wasn’t exactly little miss fitness, if you know what I mean.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 9:55 am

      How awful. I don’t know if I could have kept my composure.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:06 am

      I know it’s already been said, but yeah, she is a seroius bitch. What an awful thing to say to someone!

    • middleofnowheremom

      July 10, 2014 at 10:07 am

      Some people are just asswagons.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:08 am

      Hahaha…asswagon is my new favorite word. Thanks for the expanded vocabulary.

    • middleofnowheremom

      July 10, 2014 at 10:08 am

      I have learned some of the BEST words on here. Most recently “crotchfruit” I love it!

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:10 am

      IKNOWRIGHT?! I love it. This is the first internet community I’ve ever been a part of and I love it. 🙂
      I think my favorite is douchecanoe. haha

    • middleofnowheremom

      July 10, 2014 at 10:10 am

      HAHA!! Douchecanoe LOL!!!!

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:11 am

      Hahahahahaha…it made me laugh so hard. That and dudebro. Crotchfruit is near the top of the list too.

    • Elizabeth Licata

      July 10, 2014 at 10:09 am

      Wow. WTF? Who even says that?

    • Larkin

      July 10, 2014 at 1:56 pm

      What the actual fuck? It would have been very hard to resist punching that woman in the face.

    • Momma425

      July 10, 2014 at 5:58 pm

      That’s a terrible thing to say to someone even if they weren’t six months pregnant. Who knows why someone else might gain weight?

  6. Guy C

    July 10, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Not quite in the same vein, but I proposed to my wife less than a month before we found out number 1 was coming along. He parents were planning to visit a few months later (we lived in NZ, they are from Switzerland) so we decided we’d use the opportunity to have a wedding while they were there.

    Her friends at work then joked and asked if we were having a shotgun wedding, and D, being Swiss and despite speaking English really well, but not knowing all our colloquialisms just said “yes” and was really surprised when everyone’s eyes opened really wide and asked “really?”
    “What? What did I just say?!” 😉 She figured it out pretty quickly, but still had to suffer repeated winks and jokes at her expense from that. Nurses can be so harsh to their friends!

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:25 am

      Awww…poor girl. 😉

  7. Kelly

    July 10, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Not at all bad when compared to some of these, but when I was pregnant we lived near a coffee shop. It wasn’t my regular coffee place but I would say I went there a couple of times every month–enough so they definitely knew who I was. For the entire time that I was pregnant and showing, EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I ordered a coffee, the coffee shop girl would say, “Really?” and raise her eyebrows and then turn around and get my drink without a word. Every time,

    Plus people at work…well, just people in general with the coffee. Are you sure you can have coffee? Isn’t coffee bad for the baby? I can’t believe your doctor lets you drink coffee!

    I used to explain that coffee in moderation was perfectly okay and no study has ever shown and blah blah blah but by the end I would just smile as radiantly as possible and say, Why don’t you just worry about what’s in your cup, and I’ve got mine all taken care of over here, okay?

    Ugh. I can’t stand the pregnancy police.

    • Guy C

      July 10, 2014 at 10:00 am

      Well, really, it depends on what you were ordering. I can understand your reaction if it was a normal coffee shop and it was something standard, like a cappucino. but if you were going to a Starbucks and ordering a triple soy spinach feta beetroot frappé blended with tea made from Antarctic moss or whatever garbage they serve there then no, you shouldn’t have ordered that.

      Not because of your baby. But, you know, because Starbucks! ;-P

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 10:16 am

      No Starbucks here-both my regular coffee shop and The Coffee Shop Of Hate and Judgement are small, local joints. When I was pregnant, I ordered lattes at the coffee shop, and drank crappy weak break room coffee with lots of cream at work.

      My experience is, though, that people are haters no matter what type of coffee you try and consume.

    • Guy C

      July 10, 2014 at 10:26 am

      Coffee Shop of Hate and Judgement sounds like a fusion indie Metal/Pop band. I would definitely buy an album from them too.

    • Momma425

      July 10, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      People freak out about coffee?
      Look- I would never ever side eye a pregnant woman for coffee. I drank soda all the time while pregnant. And ate chocolate (also has caffine).
      I might say something if someone was pregnant and getting trashed at the bar, or if I saw her snorting coke or something. Other than that…nope. Not my business.

    • lea

      July 10, 2014 at 11:16 pm

      When I was pregnant my coffee lady just started making me decaf and refusing to give me regular coffee. I had to break up with her 🙁

    • Spongeworthy

      July 10, 2014 at 10:02 am

      I had a kid at a deli question my ordering a tuna-fish sandwich for lunch one day. If looks could kill, she would have been a pile of dust.

    • Ursi

      July 10, 2014 at 10:11 am

      Seriously the only upside to pregnancy for me personally would be drinking coffee in public and staring everyone down. I promise you if I ever hear anyone harassing a pregnant woman about anything they’re putting in their body I will not keep my mouth shut. The fact that people do this is INFURIATING.

    • Kat

      July 10, 2014 at 3:16 pm

      With the exception of like … crack and meth, right? I think we can all agree those are pretty bad for humans generally and pregnant ladies specifically. 🙂

    • Ursi

      July 10, 2014 at 6:57 pm

      If you’re doing crack or meth in front of me I’m probably backing away slowly as is.

      I wouldn’t shame a pregnant smoker, though.

    • the_ether

      July 10, 2014 at 1:05 pm

      I’ve been off caffeine for years, but still love the occasional decaf (or hot chocolate, or chai). I am 32 weeks along, and I’m DYING for someone to give me shade about coffee so I can use my prepared comeback: “Oh, well I can’t get through my hangover without coffee!”

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 1:12 pm

      BRILLIANT. I think we all need a pregnant lady coffee date.

    • Larkin

      July 10, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      My boss made a comment about how my baby was going to be hyper because I still drink coffee. I just shrugged and said, “Seems legit. Science!”

  8. Jayamama

    July 10, 2014 at 9:57 am

    I got pregnant with my second when my first was 14 months old, and I hadn’t lost all the baby weight yet. I was self-conscious and knew that I showed early, but I will never forget what my uncle told me at my brother’s college graduation. It was the first time most of my extended family had seen me since we announced the news, but I was only about three months along at the time. Without so much as a hello, he walked up to me and said, “so I see you’ve decided to show early this time.” I was stunned. Yes, it was a choice. Of course I chose to get fat. I spent the rest of the visit sitting down so people wouldn’t talk about my body anymore.

    If I’m ever pregnant with multiples and someone asks me if I’m going to keep them all, I’ll just tell them that no, we’re auctioning off the two biggest, if they’re interested. I’d love to see their face.

    • Kendra

      July 10, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Yeah, the showing early with your second thing is NOT a myth.

    • middleofnowheremom

      July 10, 2014 at 10:02 am

      NO JOKE!!

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 10:31 am

      I just read a blog entry where the woman was angsty about showing at FOUR WEEKS with her second, and now I’m living in terror of trying to keep a belly undercover for two months. Yikes.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:33 am

      I thought I was being all super sneaky and hiding the belly well by buying loose-fitting shirts. When I finally announced that I was pregnant one of my coworkers said she knew all along because my wardrobe changed. She may be a bit of a (well-meaning) busybody, though.

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 10:38 am

      Ha ha ha. I have lost all of the weight I gained with my baby, but I feel like my wardrobe has changed a little naturally, since my belly is just not the same shape anymore. I have some clothes now that probably make me look like I am trying to hide a belly, and have been veering a little more towards “flowy” instead of form fitting, so I’m hoping that will work in my favor when we decide to have another.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:54 am

      That is pretty darn funny. And definitely don’t let her forget it! 🙂

    • Jayamama

      July 10, 2014 at 10:32 am

      Yeah, that combined with my second being almost 10 pounds, whereas my first was only 8, meant that I just got huge the second time around. It was miserable.

    • Harriet Meadow

      July 10, 2014 at 3:13 pm

      I started wearing my maternity pants at 10 weeks with this second one. I’m 13 weeks now and I seriously look exactly like I did at 20 weeks with the first. Yikes!!!

    • Kat

      July 10, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      What an ass face.

  9. Guinevere

    July 10, 2014 at 10:05 am

    I MADE THE LIST!!!! I feel so….validated. Thank you, Mommyish!

  10. tSubh Dearg

    July 10, 2014 at 10:18 am

    I’m not showing yet, but I am already overweight so I can just imagine some of the comments I might get…..
    Thankfully no one here seems to try and touch you without permission. Or at least that’s what I’m told by my friends who have all been recently pregnant.

    • ELK

      July 10, 2014 at 12:07 pm

      I’m sure that this depends on how overweight you are, but the plus side about being overweight is that people don’t really bother you Scott being pregnant — people are too afraid to ask, in case you’re not pregnant and they’re wrong. At least, in my case. I was definitely showing, but I got almost no comments from strangers.

    • tSubh Dearg

      July 11, 2014 at 9:13 am

      Nice to know there’s a plus side to carrying a little extra weight 🙂

  11. Frannie

    July 10, 2014 at 10:22 am

    How timely! Last night my MIL told me on skype that at least this pregnancy I don’t have “a big fat moon face like last time.”

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 10:56 am

      um….thanks? (WTF?)

  12. Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    July 10, 2014 at 10:24 am

    People are awful.

    • Obladi Oblada

      July 10, 2014 at 10:25 am

      My dad always told me that a person is smart. It’s people that are stupid.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      July 10, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Very sage advice.

  13. tris

    July 10, 2014 at 10:27 am

    I was young with my first and had gone in to premature labor ! The hospital Chaplin came into the room ! i was crying she told me it was for the best that i might lose the baby I could always have another when i was older! I started flipping out got her kicked out of my room so fast ! My labor stopped that night !

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 10:39 am

      That is aweful. I often wonder how people who are supposed to provide emotional support to others never realize how hurtful some of the things they say are.

  14. dy

    July 10, 2014 at 10:37 am

    when I was pregnant for my twins, I had a total stranger come up and ask how far along I was. When I said 20 weeks (but looking full term) and explained that I had twins, she said “Oh, was it a surprise or did you have twins on purpose?” I told her to walk away from me before I hit her…on purpose.

  15. Dats

    July 10, 2014 at 10:49 am

    I remember being in the grocery store with my now wife (who was AMAZING through a difficult and dangerous pregnancy) and having some old lady ask with a disgusted look on her face, “you aren’t going to raise that baby without a real father, are you?” Our son’s biological father is involved with our son, but I have never wanted to punch a senior citizen in the face so bad.

    • Rachel Sea

      July 10, 2014 at 1:06 pm

      You should have asked her if being raised without a father was why she was such a stupid bitch.

  16. Beth

    July 10, 2014 at 11:02 am

    Oh, my, where to start …. Well, there was my director, a buffoon even at the best of times, who came up to me at least once a week to say “you’re STILL here?” No, asshole, I left weeks ago – this is my enormously fat uncomfortable stunt double. Of course, I couldn’t say anything like that because he was several levels above me at work. Then, there was a man whose last name I didn’t even know, who cornered me in my cubicle and asked if I was planning to breastfeed. I said I didn’t know yet. He then proceeded to tell me that his wife had breastfed all five of their kids and he credited the health of his children with just that, and if I didn’t breastfeed my baby would have no chance at being healthy. WTF? I said I will make my own decisions about how to feed MY baby, fuckyouverymuch. Then, there was a waitress in a diner. I ordered coffee. She looked at my belly, and raised her eyebrows and said “coffee?”. In a judgemental-bitch-from-hell tone. I said “yes, please”. She said “we don’t have decaf here”. I said “I didn’t ASK for decaf”, in a voice that made her scurry off to get my coffee. She probably spat in it, but what I don’t know won’t hurt me. The pregnancy police truly, magnanimously suck giant moose dick.

  17. Anna

    July 10, 2014 at 11:04 am

    My sister in law was straight up asked how much weight she has put on. What the hell is that!?

    Once we were at a shower and this exchange happened.

    Person A: How much weight have you put on?
    Pregnant SIL: About 36 pounds or so.
    Person B: The average is around 25-35.

    She told me the conversation and I was convinced she made it up until I actually heard someone later ask how much she has put on. I can’t believe people ask that!

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 11:09 am

      I got asked this question, a lot, by people I barely knew or didn’t know at all.

    • Guinevere

      July 10, 2014 at 11:13 am

      meeeee tooooo

    • Anna

      July 10, 2014 at 11:19 am

      What is wrong with people!?

      How did you answer if you answered at all?

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      July 10, 2014 at 11:39 am

      The first couple times I was just in shock, you know? Just stared at them blankly because my brain couldn’t comprehend what was going on. LOL After that, I just decided to give them all the info they wanted and more. “Well, I’ve gained more than I’d like. WIth my firs tI only gained 27 lbs, but that was 16 years ago. I’m older now and my metbolism has slowed down. Plus, I have GD….”. You get the picture. 🙂

    • Momma425

      July 10, 2014 at 6:05 pm

      I think I would just play dumb.
      “What? I didn’t think I’d gained any weight- do I look like I have?”

    • Kitsune

      July 10, 2014 at 1:15 pm

      That was the first question my mother asked me when I saw her while I was pregnant. There is a reason we don’t talk much.

    • guest

      July 10, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      My Grandma asked my cousin’s wife at her shower how much she gained (this was after the baby was born). She just loves asking people what they weigh in general. It is a weird weird thing.

    • Kelly

      July 10, 2014 at 1:30 pm

      I have been asked this a bunch. I usually stammered something about how it was an average weight gain or something, but in retrospect i really wish I would have had an awesome comeback.

    • practicallyperfectineveryway

      July 11, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      Ugh, so so so rude. The response has to be something like “I don’t know, how much weight have you put on?” or something snappier.

  18. RW

    July 10, 2014 at 11:12 am

    My father-in-law said some pretty cruel things one day about killing my dog (long story). Ordinarily I’d just roll my eyes and let him pass it off as an obnoxious joke, but this time I told him that maybe because I was feeling so hormonal I was in no mood to let him pass it off as a joke and that I was offended by his comments. His response was “don’t use being hormonal as an excuse to have a bad attitude. You’re not the first woman to ever be pregnant.”

    I says “pardon?” I snap! I lose it! I offered him a few choice words about how I’d use his asshole comments and callous disregard for the shit I care about as an excuse to have a bad fucking attitude instead, and unleashed a rage on him that he hasn’t ever seen before. …I think he’s still afraid to talk to me.

    • guest

      July 10, 2014 at 1:19 pm

      I don’t think you should let him talk to you again, ever. What a piece of ish. Guess what dopey FIL, nobody needs any excuse (let alone being hormonal) to rip an asshole a new asshole.

  19. val97

    July 10, 2014 at 11:14 am

    Everything single time I ate something that was not healthy – like ice cream – my mother said, “you know it doesn’t come off as easily as it goes on.” Ugh, I didn’t care that she was probably correct. I wanted junk food and I was going to have it.

  20. Fallopian Twerker Phillips

    July 10, 2014 at 11:20 am

    Fuck, I am just noticing that I spelled “Judaism” wrong.

  21. talaricg

    July 10, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    I’m about 6 months pregnant right now. Over 4th of July weekend, I had someone tell me that I should really start thinking about my post-pregnancy diet… suggesting I start cutting back and start eating more cottage cheese and fruit. really? why don’t you let me get this kid out before you tell me to lose my baby weight. that i’m still gaining. because i’m GROWING A DAMN HUMAN.

  22. the_ether

    July 10, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    The pub chef, upon bringing me my dinner it hot chips: “I’ve had four kids, so take my advice: HAVE THE NEEDLE!” OK dude, I only asked for tomato sauce on the side, maybe keep your birthing advice yourself.

    A friend, upon learning I’m planning an unmedicated, low intervention birth: “Why is birth the only thing people ever want to do without pain relief?” Yeah, no one ever does anything painful but rewarding, like endurance running or martial arts, without narcotics.

    • Jayamama

      July 10, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      I found out after my first home birth that a lot of people, including my own mother, didn’t think I would follow through with it. It’s always nice to discover what everyone thinks of you after the fact. One person actually used the word “wimp.” Awesome. They didn’t say much about it during the second pregnancy and home birth, though.

    • the_ether

      July 10, 2014 at 5:26 pm

      I specifically chose the birth centre I’m going to (hospital based but run by a separate team) because of their standard practices like water birthe

    • Jayamama

      July 11, 2014 at 12:48 am

      That sounds awesome! I wish you luck. 🙂

    • the_ether

      July 13, 2014 at 8:15 am

      Thanks!

  23. Heather

    July 10, 2014 at 1:32 pm

    -“Was it planned?” I know that’s common, but it always squicked me out.

    -After a threatened miscarriage, “So when does it change from being a miscarriage to a still birth?” Why on earth would you ask someone who just thought they’d lost their baby this question? Still baffles me.

    -Should you be drinking that? In regards to my caffeine free Diet Dr. Pepper. Variation – You shouldn’t drink that, it has too much acid in it.

    -To my husband who was walking beside me in the grocery store, “Don’t you know better than to let a pregnant woman loose in the cookie aisle?” Excuse me?? My husband has no control over if I want to buy myself some cookies or not.

    -Also to my husband, “You gotta rub her belly when you get home. I saw her rubbin’ her belly so you gotta rub it for her.” I don’t know what was going on with this one.

    -Finally, “How far along are you? Wow, you don’t look overweight at all. You look very healthy.” I get variations of this one all the time. I’m due in two weeks and got it yesterday. A lot of the variations were significantly more judge-y about me being too small/not taking care of my fetus.

    • noodlestein

      July 10, 2014 at 6:51 pm

      Was it planned squicks you out, rightfully so, because what people are really asking is, “Were you fucking with pupose, or just for funsies?” Gross.

    • Gangle

      July 10, 2014 at 7:51 pm

      I’m due in just under two weeks too, and I constantly get the fake-concern over being small..

    • Jayamama

      July 11, 2014 at 12:54 am

      Why do people ask whether it was planned? Does trying and planning for the baby somehow make it more wanted? Is it not possible to be happy about having a baby that was a surprise? The implications behind the question really bother me.

      Both of mine were more of a “let’s just see what happens” kind of thing. (It took us two months of no protection with the first, and just one throw-caution-to-the-wind night with our second. Apparently we’re more fertile than we thought.) I explained this to people who asked with my first, but by the time the second was coming, I was ready to ask people about their motives behind the question. Unfortunately, I was never asked.

  24. Courtney Lynn

    July 10, 2014 at 4:57 pm

    People are SO dumb!

  25. Snarktopus

    July 10, 2014 at 6:46 pm

    I had a woman tear into me at the mall one time. I was waiting for my mom to get out of the bathroom, which was coincidentally right by all the prom dresses in the particular department store we were in. I was just kind of browsing around because I like sparkly dresses, and this older lady comes up yelling about how I should be ashamed. I was so confused until she asked me how old I was and answered her own question with “15?! 16?!” I just gave her my best perplexed puppy look and said “23…?”. Thankfully she shut right up and almost ran away, so…but still. Even if I had been a teenager there would have been no reason for someone to scream about it in a public place.

    • noodlestein

      July 10, 2014 at 6:52 pm

      People. Be. Crazy.

  26. Tisa Berry

    July 10, 2014 at 7:57 pm

    I work in childcare and we had this particularly bratty child who asked a very pregnant prospective parent, “Are you pregnant or are you usually this fat?”

  27. val

    July 10, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    My uncle told me as I was pregnant with my second with my first one 10 months old…so are you going to get your tubes tied this time or be a welfare mom and a drain on the economy.

    • practicallyperfectineveryway

      July 11, 2014 at 12:30 pm

      remind him of this when he starts collecting social security and see how he likes it 😛

  28. Devon Handy

    July 10, 2014 at 9:04 pm

    I missed the first post, but I thought I’d share my preggo story:

    At 7 months, my husband and I went to Passover services with his family. As I was walking in, one of his family members came up to me, and without preface, said “MOOOOOOOO!!!!”

    I was so shocked that I just walked away without saying anything.

    • js argh

      July 10, 2014 at 10:39 pm

      Seriously, you don’t know whether you want to cry, punch someone, or yell when someone says something that incredibly rude to you.

    • koolchicken

      July 11, 2014 at 1:48 am

      Oh see, that person is lucky they did this to you and not me. I have this terrible condition, it’s tragic really. When someone does something that offensive to my face I suffer arm spams, and tend to slap the person closest to me. My husband forgot that and said something stupid pertaining to my size when they were wheeling me into the OR. Got him right across the face.

  29. Lee

    July 10, 2014 at 10:33 pm

    An (skinny, balding, rather creepy) acquaintance happened across a pregnant mutual friend and I eating a lunch he didn’t approve of: “Woah ladies, slow it down! You know the baby is only going to weigh 8 lbs, tops, right? The rest is all just your ass.” Incidentally, we’d both had horrible, 9 month long, all day morning sickness, so neither of us had actually gained much weight.
    Her response (she’s got a quicker wit than me): Wow, you must have some pretty big gonads to be telling two pregnant women what to eat!

  30. Quinn Skye

    July 11, 2014 at 2:44 am

    That’s meeee!

    (That’s all.)

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