Hey fellas, listen. We get it! You don’t WANT to be a Harvey Weinstein pig monster and incur the wrath of women around the world. But maybe you just don’t know how to keep that from happening, are we right? When you share a work space with women, shit gets all complicated and weird, it’s just the way it works. Well, fear not, dear lads. The Rock Test is here to help you understand how to not be a piece of trash to women.
This hack for those of you who don’t understand how to not be assholes should keep you out of trouble.
The Rock Test requires you to treat all women as you would treat national treasure Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.
It’s really that simple! Anytime you find yourself in a situation and you’re not sure how to react or behave, just imagine you’re dealing with The Rock. Big, strong, can beat your ass within an inch of your life, The Rock.
Anne Victoria Clark, the creator of The Rock Test, included some very helpful mock scenarios to run through, in case you were a bit confused. See, some men in various fields have expressed concern over working with women since the Weinstein story broke. It’s scary, we know! According to The New York Times, there are some unintended consequences of women asking to be treated with dignity and respect.
Writes Claire Cain Miller, “In Silicon Valley, some male investors have declined one-on-one meetings with women, or rescheduled them from restaurants to conference rooms. On Wall Street, certain senior men have tried to avoid closed-door meetings with junior women. And in TV news, some male executives have scrupulously minded their words in conversations with female talent.” Ugh, the worst!
To avoid having to “scrupulously mind” the way you talk to women, let’s run through one of the scenarios: Getting Coffee with an Attractive Coworker/Friend. Oooooh, that’s a tough one!
Let’s say a friend or coworker wants to grab coffee. Maybe to catch up, maybe to pick your brain about a big work project. The possibilities are endless! But, what if said coworker is PRETTY? What to do, what to do? Clearly, she wants to make this a networking thing, but maybe she’s sending you mixed signals by smiling and being a kind person. How do you respond?
Anne says it’s very simple. “Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and when you open them, pretend <your friend> looks like this”:
Now, are you gonna tell The Rock that his tank looks good on his chest? Probably not. Are you going to make an inappropriate joke about cappuccino foam if that guy is sitting across the table from you? For your face’s sake, we certainly hope not. Just visualize The Rock, and dig into that fear of pissing off a man large enough to crush you with his bicep.
The Rock Test will work in a variety of scenarios. Work meetings, socializing after hours, anywhere really!
We realize this is all in jest. If only mental pictures of The Rock were enough to stop this disgusting epidemic from happening. But if that’s what you need to do, then do it. Picture The Rock, The Hulk, Mickey Rourke, we don’t give a shit. As long as it keeps you from victimizing women, we’re all for it.
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(Image: Facebook/Dwayne The Rock Johnson)