ADVERTISEMENT

Women's Issues

GOP Douche Thinks That Forcing Women To Find Illegal Abortions Is Compassionate

By  | 
ADVERTISEMENT

GOP Douche Thinks That Forcing Women To Find Illegal Abortions Is Compassionate reince priebus gop restricting abortions 200x200 pngReince Priebus, RNC chairman and noted douchebag, is peeing on all of our heads and insisting that it’s raining. He sat down with Meet the Press yesterday to explain to all of the silly wimmenz what we’ve been too busy thinking about chocolate to figure out for ourselves: the republican holy crusade to shut down abortion clinics is for our own good.

The topic arose when Chuck Todd, the host of Meet the Press, brought up something that’s bothered me for a long time. For all of this talk about small government and minimal restrictions, why is the GOP so invested in regulating the functionality out of abortion clinics?

According to The Raw Story, Todd pondered the deeper mysteries of why the party is pretty much okay with rat shit in food and lead paint in kid’s toys but super duper not okay with say, comprehensive reproductive healthcare for women.

“‘Too much regulation, is that fair?’ Todd wondered. ‘Why regulate on the abortion issue now [instead of waiting until] you win a fight in the Supreme Court and ban abortion altogether? Why restrict a business now in Texas?’

‘The fact of the matter is we believe that any woman that’s faced with unplanned pregnancy deserves compassion, respect, counseling,’ Priebus replied.

‘But 80 percent of those clinics are gone,’ Todd pressed. ‘So they have to drive for 2 or 300 miles. Is that compassion?’

I’m sure Priebus doesn’t mind if I take that one: No. No, it is not compassion to force women to drive hundreds of miles to the nearest clinic if they want to terminate a pregnancy, an act which remains legal today, despite the best efforts of a bunch of douches with no chance of ever needing one.

It isn’t respectful to reduce women to silly, flitting, idiots who just need a little fatherly guidance in their lives, nor is it respectful to drive those women to attaining their abortions in unsafe or illegal ways.

Mocking the women who have to get benefits in order to feed themselves and the children they weren’t ready to have, calling them lazy, insinuating that they are “welfare queens” and doing a complete 180 by pretending that not long ago you weren’t insistent on pretending to take care of them when they were too stupid to do it themselves is basically the opposite of “counseling”.

I am so beyond tired of the very flimsy reasoning behind restricting abortions. I beg of you, crusty old white guys, to just be honest. It’s what Jesus would want. Admit that you want to police when women have sex and what “consequences” should arise from that. We know that you really don’t care about women’s health or safety when you do pretty much the opposite of what you’re pretending to do.

That will of course, never happen. Priebus himself quickly did the equivalent of the exaggerated eyeroll and hefty sigh, before vomiting out the same complaints we always hear from his party about taxes and oil pipelines and the economy and insinuating that those are all significantly more important than some broad and her adorable notion that she’s people.

Which is not to say that those things aren’t important, it’s just that it’s entirely possible to care about two things at once, especially when one of those things is your uterus. Of course, if that does become too difficult, we can all rest easily knowing that the RNC will worry about our ladybits for us, for our own good.

Gee, thanks, Mister!

(Image: Facebook)

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
comments
Share
Pin
Tweet