Celebrity mom coverage usually comes with an assortment of signature backhanded vocabulary: "flaunting" and "parading," i.e. a pregnant lady leaving the house, being "brave" for wearing a bikini. "Curves" and "post-baby body" to describe their figures -- because that's currently what eclipses all else. But celebrity mom headlines can often times be so off the wall batty that it can difficult to distinguish between the authentically offensive and Mad Libs.
We're going to kick this one off with Jennifer Aniston because although she is not a mom, she is the Reinging Queen of this type of routine body inspection coverage, and therefore no commentary on it would be adequate without her.
1. "Jennifer Aniston’s diet includes eating placenta chips to stay young"
Real or fake?
2. "Jennifer Garner Exposes Unsightly Toe In Sandals"
It's totally real: 3. "Kim Kardashian Milks Her Post-Baby Body For All It's Worth!"
4. "Aishwarya, Kajol, Shilpa: Actresses who dared to flaunt their pregnancy"
5. "Kate Middleton Munches On An ENTIRE Bagel On Shopping Outing, Still Manages To Glow"
It's fake. For now.
6. "Janice Dickinson parades her VERY sinewy arms in plunging tight dress at Paris Fashion Week"
Le sigh. Real:
7. "POST BABY BODY BIKINI WAR! JESSICA SIMPSON VS. VANESSA MINILLO"
Real and one of my all time favorites:
8. "Megan Fox Exhibits Significantly Rounder Arms Amidst Pregnancy Rumors"
Fakitty Fake. For now.
9. "No Maternity Wear Here! 8 Celebs Who Still Managed To Stay Sexy While Pregnant"
Fake. But various iterations do seem to be out there.
10. "Working Out Too Much? Miranda Kerr Displays Scary Collarbone"
That one is fake. For now.
Thanks for playing!