Food

Feeding Your Child A Cookie Should Never Be Called Child Abuse

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shutterstock_97384268I love eating healthy. Nowadays, I may fall into the category of a #cleaneating mom because I have had to change my child’s diet dramatically in order to control his allergies and eczema.

Even though I prepare elaborate whole food meals and take Spirulina supplements like a devoted granola mom, I’m still human. I still love to binge on Cheetos about once a week, and I try my hardest not to judge other normal humans who also eat whatever they damn well please. I’m talking processed foods.

Sure, processed foods aren’t the healthiest thing you can put in your child’s mouth, but who’s one to judge? Who out there is the purest of the pure to cast the first stone against a child eating junk food?

I’ll tell you the answer to this not-so-hypothetical question. I stumbled upon an interesting Huffington Post article about a father’s encounter with a judgy health food zealot in the grocery store. The story went a little something like this:

A couple weeks back we went grocery shopping. My son was having a good day and he got a cookie at the store. He told the baker “thank you,” like I make him do every time. While he was eating his cookie, a woman dressed in workout clothing looked at me and said…

“That is child abuse!”

I looked around to see if a child was being yelled at or being hit, but saw no one. Then all of a sudden, while she made her next comment, I realized she was talking about me…

“Do you even know the ingredients in that cookie? Feeding your child any processed food is child abuse!”

Holy quinoa, would I be livid if anyone ever spoke to me like that about giving my child a cookie in the grocery store. If I was in that situation, I would be especially mad because I spend the other 23 hours in the day breaking my back to cling to some semblance of a clean eating diet for a picky two year old. One cookie treat on one random day of the week is in no way child abuse.

The father in this story shares my sentiments. He went on to say that he does not normally eat processed foods as he used to weigh 400 pounds. He has kept 200 pounds off for five years by eating a healthy diet, which has encouraged his family to do the same. So again, judgy, CPS-crazy lady in the grocery store who called processed foods child abuse had absolutely no clue what she was talking about.

I have to admit that there are times when I get a little “concerned parent” about kids who are blatantly fed junk food and sugary soda at a young age, without any understanding of a balanced diet. But in any event, it is still not my place to judge. This story is even crazier as the stranger in the grocery store upped the ante. Giving a child a cookie is not child abuse by any stretch of the imagination. Not only did this woman insult legitimately abused children everywhere in need of help, but she needs to learn to mind her own business.

(Image: Mindy w.m. Chung/Shutterstock)

182 Comments

  1. Megan Zander

    April 29, 2014 at 9:11 am

    Maybe I’m delusional, but in my house we don’t consider freshly baked goods from a bakery as “processed”. Sure the flour and sugar are refined, but it’s not processed like an Oreo for example ( not that there’s anything wrong with Oreos, they are delicious) but for us, if we are going to indulge, we choose to bake it or go to our local place most of the time. My point: the lady should mind her own business, but even if she did think she had a reason to call out another’s parenting, I think she was wrong anyway.

    • Bethany Ramos

      April 29, 2014 at 9:14 am

      Who patrols the grocery store looking for trouble?!?

    • K.

      April 29, 2014 at 10:21 am

      People who’ve never been hungry in their lives, clearly.

    • practicallyperfectineveryway

      April 29, 2014 at 10:51 am

      I’m imagining hordes of sanctimommies in gang colors walking around snapping like the jets and the sharks in West Side Story.

    • Butt Trophy Recipient

      April 29, 2014 at 11:22 am

      I don’t… but trouble always finds me…

      >:(

    • Bethany Ramos

      April 29, 2014 at 11:23 am

      #howdareyou

    • Ashie

      April 29, 2014 at 12:36 pm

      I think she was just jealous because no one gave her a cookie!

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 9:25 am

      The only thing wrong with Oreos in my not even close to humble opinion is that I am not, currently, in a position of ownership of any. And as they are delicious, this saddens me.

    • pixie

      April 29, 2014 at 9:27 am

      I agree, I also do not currently possess any Oreos and I’m too lazy to go and buy them. Oh well, I’ve got Doritos!

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 9:34 am

      <<<< Only has Easter candy.

      However, I feel that as a mother, I have a moral obligation to eat as much of it as possible, because kids have no self control and I'd hate to feed them all of that processed stuff and you know. I have no idea why they don't seem to appreciate this sacrifice.

    • Megan Zander

      April 29, 2014 at 9:44 am

      What kind of Easter candy are we talking her, bc I’m getting by with trail mix, and not the good kind. #livingthroughyou

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 9:55 am

      Oh all kinds of goodies. Reese’s eggs, Robin’s eggs, butterfingers, chocolate bunnies….we are rolling in it right now. Blah.

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      April 30, 2014 at 6:33 am

      REESE’S EGGS????
      EXPLAIN?!

      I live in the arse end of Ireland and we only have Reese’s Cups and sometimes the odd bag of Reese’s Pieces (at extortionate prices in our american candy store) €4.80 for a bag of Reese’s Pieces (about $5.25)

      I also have a horrendous addiction to S’Mores Pop Tarts but considering they’re roughly €5 for a pack of two, I try to limit myself.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 30, 2014 at 7:34 am

      They are the perfection of all things Reese’s. Something about the eggs is just the perfect ration of peanut butter to chocolate.

      They are my ultimate favorite snack. Not even kidding. Look kind of like this:

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      April 30, 2014 at 10:53 am

      dear god it’s heavenly!!
      I so badly want to try one now!!
      I try not to go to the ACS (American Candy Store) cos yer man charges a flippin FORTUNE for the sweets (he wanted €10 for a small tub of Marshmallow fluff)

    • keelhaulrose

      April 29, 2014 at 9:50 am

      I tie any candy to behavior, so if they’re good they get a little something.
      If I didn’t eat some myself the whole thing would go to waste.
      I’ll just say it’s a testament to their behavior tied in no way to my love of chocolate.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 9:55 am

      Makes perfect sense to me.

    • LiteBrite

      April 29, 2014 at 10:02 am

      My son doesn’t really like candy, and we can’t let it go to waste. Therefore I too have a moral obligation to eat it. #wastedfoodisacrimeofsociety

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 10:13 am

      Kindred spirits! 🙂

    • Megan Zander

      April 29, 2014 at 9:43 am

      Oreos in Canada taste so different from Oreos in America. I remember I was really surprised by that! Yours are better.

    • pixie

      April 29, 2014 at 9:47 am

      I never knew that. I’ll have to try some Oreos next time I go south of the border.

    • Megan Zander

      April 29, 2014 at 9:48 am

      It’s the cream, yours tastes more like real sugar.

    • JLH1986

      April 29, 2014 at 10:04 am

      This means I can never eat Canadian Oreos or I will eat ALL of the Oreos.

    • Lilly

      April 29, 2014 at 9:49 am

      I am travelling stateside in less than a month so I now feel I have to test this.

    • Rachel Sea

      April 29, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      Ours have more science in them.

    • Megan Zander

      April 29, 2014 at 9:42 am

      I can’t keep them in the house, they are a serious problem for me. Like I’ll sit down with a whole row and some milk every night and my ass starts to take on the contours of the sleeper sofa kind of a problem. It’s just safer for me to only get treats when I’m going to eat them and in a small amount.

    • pixie

      April 29, 2014 at 9:46 am

      I was really bad for eating a whole box and not realizing it. I’d just be working away at my computer, snacking on Oreos, and all of a sudden, there would be no more Oreos.

    • Megan Zander

      April 29, 2014 at 9:49 am

      I hate that with cookies or chips and you think there’s more and you hand hits only air. I need a warning chip so I know to savor that last one.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 9:56 am

      I feel you on eating a whole sleeve. There’s nothing like Oreos and milk.

    • Rachel Sea

      April 29, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      I only buy Oreos when I’m going to be with a group of people, because otherwise I may accidentally eat a package of Oreos for dinner.

    • Megan Zander

      April 30, 2014 at 8:40 am

      I’ve done this with poptarts

    • Kigs

      April 30, 2014 at 5:41 am

      Maybe it’s just an Australian thing but I love them dipped in peanut butter instead of milk #dontjudgeme

    • Megan Zander

      April 30, 2014 at 8:41 am

      That sounds delicious and dangerous

    • Kigs

      April 30, 2014 at 9:01 am

      Dangerously addictive

    • keelhaulrose

      April 29, 2014 at 9:46 am

      My kids and I recently had an Oreo tasting party. We got a bunch of them and tried a few each.
      Weirdest conclusion: there is such a thing as too much stuff in a single cookie, and the triple stuffed are over the line.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 9:57 am

      I’ll eat any of them, but if I had to choose, I prefer the double stuffed. Triple doesn’t do as well in milk to me. I could see having too much stuff, although I have not yet reached that point.

    • practicallyperfectineveryway

      April 29, 2014 at 10:50 am

      I’m American but don’t live there anymore and I have not ever seen triple stuff…but oh my goodness. I think the double stuff is perfect because it’s equal parts cookie and cream.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 10:58 am

      I concur. It’s all sorts of sugary perfection.

    • Ddaisy

      April 29, 2014 at 10:19 am

      Oooh I have Oreos! Actually, they are the only thing in my kitchen right now besides a bottle of soy sauce and a six-pack of instant noodles… :S

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 10:23 am

      Maybe I am just hungry, but that sounds like a meal. 😉

    • Ddaisy

      April 29, 2014 at 10:53 am

      Haha if you’re in Korea anytime soon, come on over, and I’ll share!

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 10:54 am

      Careful. I may take you up on that someday.

    • Butt Trophy Recipient

      April 29, 2014 at 11:21 am

      O_o Kay’s preggers!!!!!!

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 11:28 am

      Oh no. Not this gal. You can keep that talk to yourself, Butt. Or go pick on Val. 🙂

    • Valerie

      April 29, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      We are his fave targets.

    • whiteroses

      April 29, 2014 at 12:18 pm

      I agree. The Lemon ones and the Birthday Cake ones rock. Though I would suggest avoiding the Raspberry Fudge Cremes. They taste like chalk. I’m still disappointed.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      I am woefully behind on trying different flavors. In addition to the “classics” like single stuffed, double and triple, I’d only tried the chocolate creme ones until recently. I am trying to make up for lost time now though. I will take your suggestion on Raspberry Fudge when I get there.

    • whiteroses

      April 29, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      Birthday Cake Oreos are my Kryptonite.

    • Frances "Librle" Locke

      April 30, 2014 at 12:57 am

      Besides, everyone knows that the broken ones have zero calories. They’re nature’s perfect food.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 30, 2014 at 7:33 am

      So true. That’s just science.

    • Megan Zander

      April 30, 2014 at 9:12 am

      ::throws entire package of Oreos to the ground::

    • Obladi Oblada

      April 29, 2014 at 10:36 am

      I must be the only person on Earth that doesn’t like Oreos.
      I feel so alone. 😉

    • Megan Zander

      April 29, 2014 at 10:52 am

      If it makes you feel any better I’m not crazy about Chips Ahoy.

    • Obladi Oblada

      April 29, 2014 at 11:11 am

      Me either. Could be because I love to bake and I make a mean batch of chocolate chip cookies. I’ll make a pan after my kids are in bed so The Dude and I can snarf down the whole pan while they’re warm. Hard to beat that. *sigh*

    • Valerie

      April 29, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      Me neither. They crumble too much.

    • Rachel Sea

      April 29, 2014 at 1:25 pm

      They taste odd. I’d rather make a batch from scratch or buy a tube of dough which I may or may not eat raw.

    • Rachel Sea

      April 29, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      I like Oreos okay, but Newman’Os are my favorite. They use less sciencey ingredients, it makes the filling taste more like food.

    • Obladi Oblada

      April 29, 2014 at 2:15 pm

      My homemade ones are not sciencey or chemicaly and that’s what makes them so friggin’ good. Pure, unadulterated butter, brown sugar, eggs, salt, baking soda, flour and semi sweet chocolate. DAMN IT ALL…now I have to make some.
      (I’ll have to look into Newman’s Own cookies. Never had them.)

    • Katherine Handcock

      April 29, 2014 at 1:36 pm

      Nope! Golden Oreos are okay, but the original? No thanks.

  2. Joy

    April 29, 2014 at 9:18 am

    Sounds like somebody is off her meds! What a nutbag.

  3. Ursi

    April 29, 2014 at 9:18 am

    I live for the day someone breaks social protocol to call me on eating junk food. I’m a chubby girl chowing down on a bag of pork rinds, come at me bitches!

    I eat quinoa, edamame, blueberries, all that good stuff whenever I feel like it and sometimes I just want something processed that comes out of a bag.

    I know someone who doesn’t allow her child any junk food. Fair enough. My parents were tough on us in terms of nutrition too. You feed your kid whatever you like. But insisting that cookie is child abuse would be as insane as telling someone that not allowing your kid oreos is child abuse because they’re delicious, man!

    • Bethany Ramos

      April 29, 2014 at 9:40 am

      How do they know what you’re doing the other 90% of the time??

      http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130614002924/degrassi/images/6/6b/Come_at_me_bro1.gif

    • Valerie

      April 29, 2014 at 12:56 pm

      I love this GIF so hard.

    • LiteBrite

      April 29, 2014 at 10:04 am

      I try to follow the 80/20 rule. 80% of the time I eat what’s good for me. 20% of the time I eat what I want. Yeah, sometimes the percentages get a little skewed (Lately it’s been more like 50/50, which is why I’ve gained weight), but I’m a huge fan of moderation.

    • ChelseaBFH

      April 29, 2014 at 10:28 am

      My motto is “Everything in moderation. Including moderation.”

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      April 29, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      I eat right 5 or 6 days a week and have a free day the other 1 or 2. I dare someone to get between me and my snacks after working out and counting calories the rest of the week (I know calorie counting isn’t for everyone, but for me being strict is the only way I don’t add an extra bite or three or half a serving to my plate).

    • Bethany Ramos

      April 29, 2014 at 6:13 pm

      I love cheat days on Fridays!!

    • gothicgaelicgirl

      April 30, 2014 at 6:38 am

      We do this too!
      We eat good meals all week then on Fridays we have a take away.
      Sunday, when we have the kids all day, we do a big One Pot Wonder dinner, chicken stew or my cheesey creamy pasta bake and then they kids have a cup of tea with three little biccies each.

      I don’ think three little shortbread fingers are gonna kill them!

    • LiteBrite

      April 30, 2014 at 8:05 am

      I’ve done that too: eat well for five days, then “off” Friday and Saturday. I liked the plan because I knew there would be at least one or two days where I could relax a bit. I should do that again, actually.

      And no judgment from me on counting calories. As much as I hate it, I agree it works.

  4. keelhaulrose

    April 29, 2014 at 9:27 am

    First, what grocery store was crazy Quinoa lady in, because the couple I know would have totally laid the judgement on her for being in a store that has an abundance of processed crap (I’m related, I can’t ditch them, but one routinely drives an hour past at least five grocery stores to get to the “acceptable” one) because some of these people are crazy.
    Second, I’m getting sick of it becoming socially acceptable to loudly and publicly criticizing other people’s parenting choices. My mom remembers when we were young you had to be committing ACTUAL child abuse to be called on your behavior (and my grandma says when my mom was young even that might be ignored). Nowadays you can’t give your child anything or do anything in public with them without wondering if someone is going to call you out on what they consider bad behavior. It’s enough to keep a socially awkward parent (like myself) out of public as much as possible.

    • Ursi

      April 29, 2014 at 9:35 am

      Seriously, you have to have nerves of steel nowadays. I blame the free-for-all judgefest of the internet. I mean, I love the internet but when you bash real people in front of the world on twitter and question their choices it’s not so far a leap to be going up to strangers in real life and harassing them about what they’re doing.

      I wish we could put some kind of ban on speaking to strangers in public unless you have something useful to say, period, (no small talk, no criticism, no nosey questions) but that’s just my dream world

    • Tinyfaeri

      April 29, 2014 at 11:37 am

      Yell “Stranger Danger!” until they walk away? Hmm… I may need to try that.

  5. Kay_Sue

    April 29, 2014 at 9:29 am

    Not only did this woman insult legitimately abused children everywhere in need of help, but she needs to learn to mind her own business.

    Absolutely concur with both sentiments.

    • Butt Trophy Recipient

      April 29, 2014 at 11:10 am

      Yay! Kay’s using codes!

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 11:19 am

      It had legitimately never occurred to me before a post last night (on another site) to even try codes on Disqus posts. I don’t know why.

  6. Véronique Houde

    April 29, 2014 at 9:31 am

    Gah another parent who thinks it’s okay to just butt into someone’s private business and annoyingly give their opinion! I didn’t experience something at the same level, but yesterday we had something comparable happen…

    Let me start out by saying that I’m far from being a stressed out mom. I have been fortunate to have a very healthy child and never brought her to the hospital. She’s 18 months old and I brought her to the emergency clinic the other day because I had noticed that she was started an eye infection that she most likely caught from her cousin. She was prescribed eye drops, and the next day, she started breaking out into massive hives 10 minutes after we applied them.

    My boyfriend and I didn’t overreact – I went to the drug store to get some benadryl and spoke to the pharmacist, and he called our provincial health line to ask a nurse what we should do. We treated her according to their advice, and went to bed.

    The next day, we were at the hardware store and I was catching Jonathan up on what I had done that day for our daughter in regards to her hives (she was still getting them all over her body). It was just a normal conversation, no worrying or anything. Lea was actually in the cart playing around, and in a generally good mood. This guy was behind us in line, and walked up to us, and said “First kid??”

    He asked us what was wrong with our daughter so I showed him her hands and we explained. To which he responded “there’s nothing wrong with her. Don’t worry about it. First baby, I was always worried and running to the hospital with her. She’s healthy and happy and you should chill out”.

    I just literally felt like patting the guy on the head with a complacent smile on my head, and walk away. The guy was totally nice and well meaning, but come on dude, let us talk in peace!

    • Bethany Ramos

      April 29, 2014 at 9:41 am

      THAT IS SO ANNOYING. Glad she’s doing better 🙂

    • pixie

      April 29, 2014 at 9:51 am

      Yes, because a kid first getting an eye infection then having a reaction to the meds is something to do nothing about. Hives might be nothing at first, but they can most definitely turn into something if not taken care of.

      Well meaning dude, perhaps, but you totally should have patted him on the head and walked away. It’s not like you rushed her to emerg because she sneezed once. 😛

    • Véronique Houde

      April 29, 2014 at 10:15 am

      Thanks 🙂 I just loved the way he looked at her and just DECIDED that she was all good. And the funny part is that I was telling my boyfriend that the pharmacy was going to call the doc that prescribed the drops to switch up her prescription. This is what he thought was overreacting 😉

    • pixie

      April 29, 2014 at 10:55 am

      Yep, I mean I can look at a kid’s tiny scrape and decide they’re ok, but hives? Nope.
      Some people are silly. 😉

    • Véronique Houde

      April 29, 2014 at 12:21 pm

      I was actually thinking of starting an anti- eye drop campaign… ’cause you know – my daughter having side effects to her treatment means that those nasty pharmaceutical companies are making a profit on my child getting sick because of their meds… WHERE ARE THE STUDIES??? /sarcasm

    • pixie

      April 29, 2014 at 12:42 pm

      Bahahaha.
      THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

    • K.

      April 29, 2014 at 11:01 am

      GAH!

      This makes me wonder where people live! I never get crap like this (thank God), but sheesh.

      The self-righteousness is astounding.

    • Williwaw

      April 29, 2014 at 11:31 am

      Wow, what a patronizing jerk that guy was (clothing it in “niceness” sure, but a jerk nonetheless). It is totally reasonable to be concerned (and consult a doctor/pharmacist) when a child breaks out in hives (and to talk about it afterwards). I hate it when strangers butt in on my conversations.

  7. Meatball Jones

    April 29, 2014 at 9:36 am

    So, if I make my kid chocolate no bake cookies and use Quinoa instead of processed quick oats I’m doing ok then?
    Good lord.. why does it seem like every mom out there is watching every other mom? MYOB please! It’s like that one tattle tale kid on the play ground growing up… but it’s every mom these days….

  8. Kendra

    April 29, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Yesterday, I was sick and trying to keep my child in line. Did I give her three Thin Mints as bribery for peace? Yes, Yes I did. I HAVE NO SHAME!

    • Theresa Edwards

      April 29, 2014 at 9:49 am

      CPS will be at your location shortly.

    • Kendra

      April 29, 2014 at 10:18 am

      Fine with me, I will bribe them with Thin Mints too!!!!!!!!!!!

    • keelhaulrose

      April 29, 2014 at 9:56 am

      Yesterday I got up early to go get my grandmother out of bed, came home and cleaned, did a therapy session for my daughter, then took both girls to Costco and the grocery store. I got home with just enough time to give my older daughter lunch before she got on the bus, and I still had a van load of groceries to empty. I totally have the kids *gasp* lunchables (with Oreos) because I could barely move at that point. There goes my mom of the year trophy.

    • Paul White

      April 29, 2014 at 10:42 am

      You can buy what dignity i have left for 3 thin mints.

    • Tinyfaeri

      April 29, 2014 at 11:34 am

      Wow, your dignity is kinda expensive.

    • Valerie

      April 29, 2014 at 12:57 pm

      Or 1 tag-along. I feel like that is worth 3 thin mints.

    • Williwaw

      April 29, 2014 at 11:34 am

      Unless you bribed her with all-natural, cruelty-free, eco-sourced kelp flakes flavored with wild baby dolphin tears, you should totally hang your head in shame!

      PS Now I want some thin mints.

  9. K.

    April 29, 2014 at 9:39 am

    #onlyatwholefoods

    This is the sort of story that makes me dream of snappy comebacks I’ll never get to use 🙁

    • AugustW

      April 29, 2014 at 9:41 am

      I would probably say “oh, well we use this social experience at the bakery as a time for my autistic child to practice using the language skills she is working on in her special ed preschool, but thank you so much for your opinion.”

    • Katherine Handcock

      April 29, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      Sadly, that would probably lead to a lecture from the crazy lady about how if the kid only didn’t eat processed foods/refined sugars/white flour/whatever, their symptoms would magically go away.

      Never try to out-do crazy. They have more resources than you.

    • K.

      April 29, 2014 at 4:37 pm

      Could I slap her across the face and then say, “You know, that’s elderly abuse”?

      Sigh. Crazy always wins. Sucks.

  10. Alex Lee

    April 29, 2014 at 9:39 am

    Quality vs. quantity of life.

    • sara

      April 29, 2014 at 9:57 am

      Oh you’ll live just as long, but the quality of your life will suffer. Diabetes, heart attacks, strokes, joint deterioration etc. Fat women love to pretend these things don’t happen or won’t happen to them. Let me know how it works out in 30 years. Health at any size is a myth.

    • Jem

      April 29, 2014 at 10:09 am

      right, men don’t get fat. They just get awesome. Plenty of skinny people have all those problems ESPECIALLY joint deterioration.

    • pixie

      April 29, 2014 at 10:33 am

      My dad has really bad osteo-arthritis and he’s a great example of a skinny person with joint issues that he “shouldn’t” have. He’s never been overweight, he eats healthy, hasn’t smoked since he was 16, doesn’t drink very much, and he used to be super fit and exercise quite a bit. He’s not even 60 and he’s due for a hip replacement within a few months.

    • Paul White

      April 29, 2014 at 10:42 am

      Well, sara didn’t say we men dn’t need to work out either.

    • Jem

      April 29, 2014 at 11:00 am

      I was just struck by how she said “fat women”. Maybe what she meant is that only fat WOMEN are delusional. Men are never delusional.

    • Ashley Austrew

      April 29, 2014 at 11:12 am

      If you honestly believe only overweight people get sick, I’m sorry. I hope you never experience the true randomness and unfairness of serious illness, as it strikes many people for many reasons, and there is no diet or life plan that 100% prevents it. My mom is a fit, thin vegan. Her doctor recently told her she is likely on the verge of a heart attack. No one is immune to failures of the body.

      Also, just as a correction to your statements, Health At Any Size refers to practicing a healthy lifestyle as determined by diet and exercise, rather than the size of your pants. It’s not a program that advocates not caring about your health. It’s actually the opposite. A lot of people get obsessed with weight to the point of not properly caring for themselves. Health At Every Size is about letting go of the obsession with numbers and living in a way that respects your body and fuels it the right way. So, in reality, Health At Every Size does actually promote healthful behaviors by encouraging people to make better choices, treat their bodies with respect (don’t use food, etc. to harm themselves), and to lead more healthful lives. If you think that has anything to do with pretending illnesses can’t happen or life should be a junk food free-for-all, you’re mistaken. But, I also get the sense you’re more concerned with putting people down than the factual basis of what you’re saying, so troll on with your bad self.

    • Snarktopus

      April 29, 2014 at 12:34 pm

      I was a perfectly average sized child when I was diagnosed with Type-1 diabetes, so, you know, fuck off and die in a fire.

    • Kelly

      April 29, 2014 at 12:42 pm

      No one is obese because they ate one cookie as a child in a grocery store. Get a grip.

    • C.J.

      April 29, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      I’m thin, eat healthy and exercise and I had a stroke at 32. Being thin does not mean you are healthy.

    • Katherine Handcock

      April 29, 2014 at 1:42 pm

      There is a difference between saying, “You can be healthy without hitting a particular body size/number on a scale” and saying, “Eh, who cares, do whatever you want.” If you do not understand the distinction when talking about “health at any size,” there is probably nothing we can say to clarify for you.

    • Rachel Sea

      April 29, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      Fuck. Off.

  11. jane

    April 29, 2014 at 9:45 am

    The entirety of my response

    http://i.imgur.com/FvqAYy4.gif

  12. Angela

    April 29, 2014 at 9:50 am

    Okay, so I used to volunteer at an elementary school and there was a little girl (2nd grade) who brought lunches to school that consisted of a bag of chips, Oreos, a candy bar, and a can of soda. This wasn’t just an occasional thing. It was Every. Single. Day. The girl was very overweight for her age and I admit to privately thinking that sending her with that lunch every day should constitute child abuse (although legally it does not), especially since the student qualified for free school lunches but her mom chose to send lunch anyway because “she likes the food better.” No shit! My kids would probably prefer that kind of lunch too. But policing total strangers in a grocery store for feeding a child a bakery cookie? Some people need to get a life!

  13. Sara

    April 29, 2014 at 9:54 am

    Sugar is a treat, not an everyday staple. I would never say anything to anyone about their choices, but if you make it a regular thing you are setting them up for a lifetime struggle with diet and weight. A cookie a day is not a balanced diet. Those things used to be a treat but you moms play right into the medical industry’s plan to ensure that your babies will be lifelong customers with diabetes, high blood pressure etc. But you won’t be alone in hating yourselves and your bodies so that’s why you do it. Gotta “live a little” even if it means your children will actually live shorter, sicker lives. Amirite?

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 9:58 am

      I don’t know about right, but you are something, for sure.

    • Kendra

      April 29, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Delusional….is the word I believe you are looking for.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 10:37 am

      Why is that sugar always brings the…interesting folks out?

      The last time we had a topic on parents and sugar we had similar posts. We should go ahead and pull out the matching Mommyish assigned jackets.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 11:46 am

      I thought I had already done so, but all credits for this image go to Eve(TM).

    • Emily A.

      April 29, 2014 at 10:01 am

      Erm… no?

    • Jem

      April 29, 2014 at 10:08 am

      I’ve seen plenty of adults whose parents kept them away from all sugary treats, snacks, junk food etc etc but just because their parents kept it away from them, doesn’t mean they didn’t grow up seeing all of their friends, neighbors, relatives eating it. And then when they became adults and could buy for themselves they went OUT OF CONTROL because they had been deprived of it for so long. My mom’s childhood best friend grew up like that and balooned to 400 lbs by “catching up” on what she had missed her whole life. and by that I mean she would get 2 sundaes at dairy queen at a time.

      What I’m saying is shoveling junk down your kids throat is not the answer, but neither is vilifying sugar to the point that it is forbidden.

      And I am always, always skeptical of people who say “buying into the medical industries plan”. I enjoy my modern medicine thank you and it must be so scary thinking all doctors are out to get you.

    • pixie

      April 29, 2014 at 10:35 am

      I think of it like teens and alcohol/drugs. If it’s a huge “taboo” in the household, when the teen goes off to college, more often than not, the teen is going to go absolutely wild.
      If you don’t let your kid ever have any junk, chances of them going nuts once they start buying their own food increase greatly.

      If that makes sense?

    • Rachel Sea

      April 29, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      If it weren’t for the medical industry, a heck of a lot of us would be dead.

    • cabinfever

      April 29, 2014 at 10:11 am

      I didn’t see anyone arguing for making cookies an everyday staple for kids.
      Just had some stuff to get off your chest?

    • Ashley Austrew

      April 29, 2014 at 10:44 am

      She just wanted us all to know we’re fat fatties who hate ourselves because she so clearly does not have any issues that might lead her to make ridiculous generalizations and be unnecessarily hostile towards strangers on internet comment sections.

    • Ursi

      April 29, 2014 at 10:12 am

      Yeah sometimes how think about how much better the world would be if we all cared enough to make sure everyone did what we thought was right all the time; such generosity… to think of those who may not have their eyes opened to the sugar-addicted horror of their lives. Clearly those moms are all selfish pigs who just want their kids to be overweight so they be miserable together, there is no other reason at all why you would give your child a cookie.

      Truly, your empathy for the human condition is life-affirming and a credit to us all.

    • TngldBlue

      April 29, 2014 at 10:29 am

      Nope. Not teaching your children how to make responsible food choices is setting them up for a lifetime of struggle with diet and weight. Making certain foods “the enemy” sets kids up for a poor relationship with food and leads to a viscous cycle of overindulgence and guilt.

    • Ashley Austrew

      April 29, 2014 at 10:37 am

      Pretty sure everyone here is agreeing that sugar is a treat. As for the rest of your comment: LOL. I think you’re projecting a little bit, and/or should lay off the internet conspiracy theories.

    • jane

      April 29, 2014 at 10:37 am

      Yes, judgypants are even more comfortable than yoga pants, but they don’t look as good on.

    • Linzon

      April 29, 2014 at 10:58 am

      Out of curiosity, if you saw my kid getting a cookie in the grocery store ONE TIME how would you know what I’m feeding him the rest of the time? Are you a wizard?

    • Tinyfaeri

      April 29, 2014 at 11:47 am

      She’s a witch!

    • shelnewt

      April 29, 2014 at 11:52 am

      She turned me into a newt!!

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 12:39 pm

      Does anybody have a duck and a set of scales? We need to settle this RIGHT NOW…

      …I hope she hasn’t eaten any extra cookies today.

    • Rachel Sea

      April 29, 2014 at 1:55 pm

      But you got better?

    • shel

      April 29, 2014 at 2:05 pm

      Yes, thankfully I got better… hopping around on the keyboard without making errors was quite a task!!

    • K.

      April 29, 2014 at 10:58 am

      This isn’t even relevant to the article. In fact, it seems to be more about your own food and weight obsession.

    • LiteBrite

      April 29, 2014 at 11:03 am

      “I would never say anything to anyone about their choices….”

      Of course you wouldn’t. Thank God you didn’t do that in your comment, right?

    • shelnewt

      April 29, 2014 at 12:06 pm

      I must have really missed a lot of days in medical school… ’cause this whole “plan” to give people diabetes and high blood pressure etc. is the exact opposite of what I do in my practice. Healthy eating and healthy habits are way important and something we discuss in all of our visits, though we don’t call CPS over a cookie. I don’t want my patients to have diabetes or other health problems, hence the emphasis on preventative care.

      I know I’m not alone in those ideas as a physician, so I’m not sure where the conspiratorial evil medical people are hanging out… though I didn’t go to evil medical school, so maybe that’s the issue.

    • Kelly

      April 29, 2014 at 12:40 pm

      So if you see a person eat a cookie once, you know that they eat cookies every day?

      No, you fucking don’t. I’m a bit of a health nut myself but you’re just a stupid bitch. You cannot judge anyone’s diet by seeing them eat once. That’s just downright stupid.

    • cp2895

      April 29, 2014 at 1:29 pm

      No.

    • Katherine Handcock

      April 29, 2014 at 1:49 pm

      Okay, let’s talk about that for a bit. My kids do, in fact, have a cookie (or similar treat) daily. They eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, proteins, and grains. They drink enough milk to be getting enough calcium. They are extremely active, easily getting their hour a day of physical activity. Do you honestly believe their daily treat is going to magically turn them into unhealthy kids?

      Sugar is not an enemy and it’s not a poison. It needs to be managed in moderation, just like anything else — including exercise and other healthy habits — to be healthy.

      Do I want my kids to have an all-sugar diet? No, of course not. But a daily treat is not going to destroy their lives.

  14. TngldBlue

    April 29, 2014 at 9:55 am

    Yeah I guarantee that one day judgey mom is going to find their kid scarfing down cupcakes in their closet. I am a big fan of moderation.

    • LiteBrite

      April 29, 2014 at 9:59 am

      If “moderation” had a page on Facebook, I would like it and constantly look for updates in my newsfeed.

    • Emily A.

      April 29, 2014 at 10:00 am

      Agreed. I have one friend whose child did not have any sugar at all (she made absolutely everything for him) until his second birthday… at which time he had his first taste of a “real” cake. Which he proceeded to shove into his mouth by the handful, screaming as his parents pulled him away.

      Now, while I can admit to *wanting* to eat cake by the handful (seriously, he ate about half of the entire thing in under a minute) I don’t do that because I understand what moderation is about, and know that I will have the chance to eat cake again in the future.

    • Emily A.

      April 29, 2014 at 10:00 am

      Or: LET THEM EAT CAKE!

    • kay

      April 29, 2014 at 11:34 am

      My SIL came from a “no sweats EVER” family.

      She used to, when her and my brother were dating in high school, come to our house and literally eat ALL THE THINGS. Like, whole box of girl scout cookies in one sitting style. Moderation wins.

  15. Jem

    April 29, 2014 at 9:55 am

    As a Social Worker I have seen and heard some horrible, awful, nightmare inducing things. If this lady thinks that a loving, attentive father who gives his son a cookie while grocery shopping is a child abuser, then she is lucky that is the worst she has ever seen. It’s offensive to the notion of child abuse honestly.

    • Obladi Oblada

      April 29, 2014 at 10:38 am

      Exactly. I’ve been a foster mom for 10 years. I’ve seen some hair raising things and spent time with kids that are just awesome people in spite of what’s happened to them. People like her have no idea what child abuse is.

    • Maggie May

      April 29, 2014 at 11:17 am

      Seriously, I’m an ER nurse and the idea that cookie is abusive is just laughable. The woman is lucky she’s never had to see a beaten toddler or starved child. I’d much rather a dad give his a cookie than nothing at all

    • Maggie May

      April 29, 2014 at 11:18 am

      Wow… I can’t type on my phone today at all.
      I swear I have a decent grasp on spelling, grammar and punctuation.

    • CMP414

      April 29, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      Agreed. I’m also a Social Worker and have seen/heard way worse. Some people are absolutely ridiculous and need to mind their own business.

    • tk88

      April 29, 2014 at 7:28 pm

      You said it before I could. This woman should be smacked in the head with a bag of sugar and bottle of corn syrup.

  16. Becky

    April 29, 2014 at 9:58 am

    I keep a bag of cookies in my glove compartment (mostly for me b/c I’m pregnant and I sometimes I have cookie emergencies), but I’ll be damned if they don’t work for kids, too -you know, the ones where you have like ONE MORE superfast stop that you have to make and your kid is FREAKING out b/c he hates his carseat? Yep. Cookie emergencies.
    Also, I bet a zillion dollars that woman’s kid grows up and spends his allowance binging on 2 liter bottles of soda and McDonalds and Hostess cupcakes and all kinds of processed crap every day after school when his mom isn’t looking because she was so obsessed with being uber healthy that she neglected to teach him moderation.

    • Kay_Sue

      April 29, 2014 at 10:26 am

      You should trademark the term “cookie emergency”. That needs to be a thing.

    • Rodiansinger

      April 30, 2014 at 12:40 am

      You mean it isn’t already?

  17. LiteBrite

    April 29, 2014 at 9:59 am

    Our local grocery store has a guy who hands out cookies to the kids. My son and husband call him “the cookie dude.” It is great motivation to get the kid to go to the grocery store with us.

    I have no clue how I would handle someone telling me giving my son a cookie is “child abuse.” (Probably not pleasantly.) I will say though that considering you can see my kid’s ribs, one cookie isn’t going to hurt him.

  18. JLH1986

    April 29, 2014 at 10:01 am

    I have a few child abuse survivor clients I’d like her to meet before she starts telling people what child abuse is or isn’t.

  19. SarahJane86

    April 29, 2014 at 10:03 am

    You can pry mine and my kids’ Chips Ahoy from our cold, dead fingers.

  20. val97

    April 29, 2014 at 10:05 am

    This woman needs to spend a day with a CPS worker and hopefully gain some perspective.

  21. jendra_berri

    April 29, 2014 at 10:10 am

    My 13-month-old son has had cake on TWO seperate occasions already. And they were not healthy cakes I made myself. They had sugar and were from a bakery.
    *Hangs head*
    I’ll wait for CPS outside.

  22. 021010

    April 29, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Children are cookie monsters

  23. Ashley Austrew

    April 29, 2014 at 10:19 am

    Man, people are getting EXTREME. I think we all understand at this point that processed food is not “good” for you and shouldn’t be the backbone of your diet, but does that really mean you can’t eat any processed food, ever? If that lady wants to live that way, more power to her. But the human body is an amazing machine. It can certainly make sense of the occasional treat or favorite junky snack and still remain perfectly healthy.

  24. Paul White

    April 29, 2014 at 10:40 am

    ….and incidents like this is where I don’t even try to be diplomatic.

  25. Maggie May

    April 29, 2014 at 10:48 am

    I had my kids at the park last fall and gave my girls each a cookie. A woman told me I shouldn’t do that as my six year old was already getting “pudgy” and looking at me, she needed a headstart to avoid becoming “like mom”.
    1st – my daughter is not overweight. She is a very solid little girl, but her weight is exactly average for her age and height.
    2nd – she’s 6. Most 6 year olds are kinda squishy. My three year old is also squishy. And my son is a pudgy baby. My whole family is not genetically inclined to be “wispy”
    3rd – I am a f-ing size 10. Since when is the fat?

    I told her off the best I could without calling attention or her comment since Abby hadn’t heard her say it.

    • practicallyperfectineveryway

      April 29, 2014 at 11:00 am

      what did you say? that story is as rude as the one in the article, I have no idea why people feel the need to police other people’s bodies all the time.

    • Tinyfaeri

      April 29, 2014 at 11:35 am

      Oh fuck that woman right in the ear.

    • Williwaw

      April 29, 2014 at 11:44 am

      Wow. Babies are supposed to be fat. It’s nature’s way of helping them survive till they’re ten. Most huge babies start thinning out as toddlers, and thin even more as older kids. My kid looked like the Michelin Man when he was ten months old, but he sure doesn’t now – he is still a bit pudgy (at 2) but definitey heading for a body type like his father’s (tall and thin). I can’t believe someone would call an ordinary six year-old girl “fat” – what a way to promote easting disorders.

    • Ro

      April 29, 2014 at 1:21 pm

      At first I thought you’d written that she needed a headstart after making that comment and I was thinking, yeah, that’s about right. You’d better run b****!

    • Rachel Sea

      April 29, 2014 at 1:34 pm

      Oh she can just go walk in front of a bus.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      April 29, 2014 at 6:06 pm

      I seriously am so angry on your behalf. I would not be able to even articulate a response that didn’t involve shoving said cookie in any orifice other than her awful mouth.

  26. blh

    April 29, 2014 at 10:51 am

    I have never known anyone in real life who doesn’t eat processed food. I only hear about the whole clean eating thing on the internet.

    • Kelly

      April 29, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      That’s because they’re incredibly rare. I’m a gym rat and a health nut with a diet most people consider bizarre and way too restrictive and I still occasionally have a cookie or a bread roll or a piece of candy.

      These adults who claim they’ve never tasted a bite of birthday cake or a Dorito or a soda are full of shit.

  27. Williwaw

    April 29, 2014 at 11:02 am

    I would rather eat “processed” food that is free of bacteria than eat “fresh” food that is going bad. Hey, fresh food is great, but humans began using preservatives so that they wouldn’t starve during the non-growing season. And wow, there is a big difference between beating a child and giving them a cookie.

  28. Mystik Spiral

    April 29, 2014 at 11:20 am

    My brother and SIL are in the process of adopting two siblings, 4 1/2 yo boy and 1 1/2 yo girl. When they first took custody, they took them to the grocery store to see what kind of food they like. The older one went for all the Twinkies, cookies, chips, etc. Every time they tried to give him vegetables he would say he didn’t like it… until he tasted it then “oh, I guess this isn’t too bad.” Haha.

    Of course, this same boy was with his birth mother when she kept going back to abusive boyfriends, and was present when one of them pistol-whipped her. Yeah, unhealthy eating can sometimes be a side effect of true abuse, but a cookie on its own? I’m thinking not, psycho lady.

  29. D W

    April 29, 2014 at 11:45 am

    I would probably have a hard time getting angry since I would just be laughing so hard.

  30. SA

    April 29, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Stupidity. We are mainly clean-eating, but kid has still had a couple of McD’s fries. I would be livid if someone accused me of child abuse on the ONE DAY I was hungover and cheating. I do firmly believe in trying to feed your kids well, but that lady is ridiculous.

  31. Katherine Handcock

    April 29, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Seriously? I would look blankly at this woman and then laugh myself stupid.

  32. Guets

    April 29, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    I can’t decide if I’d rather run this woman down with my cart or run and shove the cookie down her gullet so she’d die from poor nutrition.

  33. Katie

    April 29, 2014 at 3:51 pm

    I’ve had almost the exact opposite happen before. Carting around a two year old with Celiac at a grocery store is HELL. Because at that age he didn’t understand “hey, those pretty cookies will make you very very sick”, we told him they had spiders on them. A lady heard me tell him this and she, super judgey, said “C’mon, a cookie won’t kill him. Lay off the carrot sticks.” I got so mad. I turned around with death glare and said “Yes, it could, actually. Mind your own damn business. I’m not telling you to buy some carrot sticks.” This was six years ago and I still remember it in vivid detail. People really need to remember being in public doesn’t mean you have the right to remark on other people’s parenting.

  34. Alanna Jorgensen

    April 29, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    I know I need to be better about my kids’ diets but I’m really only home for one meal a day five days a week. She probably gets a little too much candy and as her dad is in charge of breakfast and lunch and has no compunction about processed foods her eating is probably not as clean as it should be. He’s slowly starting to come to my side about the issue, though, but sometimes it just about getting her to eat at all. Her doctors were always harping on about her weight (my family makes tiny children with tiny appetites) so we became kind of lax about WHAT she was eating just so long as she was eating enough of something. Now that she’s older and eats well more consistently, it’s a hard transition to worrying about what it is. We do read labels and try to limit dyes and buy natural brands where we can, but damn if the child doesn’t want to subsist entirely on mini corndogs.

    I’m sure this has been pointed out already, but if the cookie thing is child abuse, wouldn’t the store giving free cookies to children be complicit in the crime as well? My daughter loves Fred Meyer just for that reason.

  35. scooby23

    April 29, 2014 at 6:17 pm

    “Oh yes, I do give little Avocado bottles of hard liquor, but don’t worry, there’s no preservatives in it!”

  36. Claire

    April 29, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    Oh dear lord. As a survivor of child abuse, that is nowhere near it. Honestly, the fact that she thinks it is abuse offends me. Was the cookie a pot cookie? That’s about the only way it could be abuse to give your child a cookie. Basically how I define child abuse is an action that has long term damaging affects on the child’s mental, emotional, or physical health, usually done in anger.

  37. footnotegirl

    April 29, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Now, I might give a silent side-eye to someone who gives their barely-a-toddler a whole regular coke? But, you know, silent. Side-eye. Inner judging. But seriously, a cookie? Abuse? WTF? Madame Pearl-clutchy would probably shit a whole cow if she saw us letting our daughter have the occasional ice cream or even *gasp* a cupcake!
    Food isn’t evil. A constant menu of junk food is not good, but just as bad in its own way is fetishizing and obsessing over super clean eating all the time.

  38. Pingback: Take A Minute To Think Before You Ask: Is This Abusive?

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