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Childrearing

There Aren’t Enough Pro-Gun Children’s Books,These Idiots Aim To Fix That

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There just weren’t enough pro-gun books out there for children, so Brian Jeffs and Nathan Nephew decided to fix that by creating the weirdest children’s book you’ve ever seen. It’s called, My Parents Open Carry. Imagine the pencil drawings from the 70’s classic The Joy of Sex mixed with some horrible story telling and a paranoid message and – poof! A new classic is born.

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“Hi kids! We’re at the library – a very dangerous place as you all know. I’ve brought my gun, tucked safely into my mom jeans. Don’t be alarmed. Although the mere presence of a gun makes it infinitely more likely that someone will die today – let’s ignore that pesky little fact and talk about the Second Amendment! Except for the “well regulated” part. We don’t like that bit.” That quote is mine. I should have written this book. It would have been way better. Here’s a sampling of the duo’s literary skills:

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And guns to carry! As the duo says in their Amazon preview, “The Strongs join a growing number of families that are standing up for their 2nd Amendment rights by open carrying and bringing gun ownership out of the closet and into the mainstream.” Right. Guns don’t belong in the closet, devoid of ammunition and locked in a biometric safe! They should be loaded and carried out in the open. It’s really the best choice for children and for America.

The explanation of the book makes no mention of teaching kids about gun safety. The book seems to focus on making sure paranoid theories about the vanishing Second Amendment get passed on to kids:

We fear our children are being raised with a biased view of our constitution and especially in regards to the 2nd Amendment. Before writing this, we looked for pro-gun children’s books and couldn’t find any. Our goal was to provide a wholesome family book that reflects the views of the majority of the American people, i.e., that self-defense is a basic natural right and that firearms provide the most efficient means for that defense.

Actually, the majority of American people do not support open carry laws, so I’m pretty sure you made that last bit up. The best part about finding this book was reading the reviews, which were infinitely more well-written and entertaining than the book appears to be. Here’s my favorite:

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“Have fun with Brenna and her family as they turn an otherwise ordinary day into an open carry adventure!”

No, thanks.

(photos: Twitter)

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