Weird News

12 Real Pregnant Pornos That Will Scare The Uterus Out Of You

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prego-porn

I am not a porn connoisseur, but I have been pregnant. So there’s that. I’m also fully aware of Rule #34 of the Internet: If it exists, someone has made porn of it.

On a total tangent, this makes me want to Google “refrigerator porn “and “coffee porn” and “Whole Foods porn,” but I haven’t done that yet. I’m too busy paying for my therapy to get me through the horror that is pregnancy porn.

TRIGGER WARNING: This post is 100% most certainly going to ruin your life. If you are currently pregnant, you’ll swear off sex until your due date. If you’re trying to conceive, it probably won’t work out because your uterus will shrivel up and die. If you’re a parentโ€ฆ you may not be having that much sex anyway, so it’s Even Steven on that one.

So, yes, all of these creepy titles are real. Maybe you’ve seen them before, or maybe you are a normal person who steers clear of pregnant porn. As a note, I forced my husband to take a look at all of these so that I wouldn’t suffer alone and so he wouldn’t freak out when he looked at my browser history.

Here are 12 real-life pregnancy porn titles that will be forever burned into your brain. If you sit quietly, you may actually feel your uterus turn to dust and get resorbed by your body:

1. I Skipped Lamaze Class To Suck A Cock

2. Gynecologist Fucked My Pregnant Wife

3. Lesbian Preggos

4. Pregnant Cocksockets – Compilation

5. Pregger Coeds, Vol. 1-3

6. Pregnant & Still Fucking โ€“ Compilation

7. Keli’s Home For Unwed Mothers – On Sale

8. Make Womb For Daddy

9. Meet The Mother Fuckers

10. Mondo Extreme 32: Amber’s Pregnant Gang Bang

11. Mondo Extreme 94: Pregnant & Lactating Xtravaganza

12. World’s First Pregnant Orgy

19 Comments

  1. Kendra

    March 28, 2014 at 10:44 am

    I feel so sorry for the unknowing babies who had to take part in these catastrophic day-ruining films.

  2. Jessie

    March 28, 2014 at 10:45 am

    …. Well, whatever creams your twinkie, as one of my friends likes to say.
    Maybe I’m just jaded from living on the Internet since I was 12, but this is pretty tame. I’ve seen worse. MUCH worse.

  3. Lee

    March 28, 2014 at 11:13 am

    Bwahahaha! Make Womb for Daddy kills me! I always love a good pun even when it is incredibly crass.

    • Bethany Ramos

      March 28, 2014 at 11:31 am

      ME TOO.

    • Robotic Socks

      March 28, 2014 at 1:38 pm

      Puns are stupid and lame. Who does that?

  4. Theresa Edwards

    March 28, 2014 at 11:29 am

    okay except cocksocket is now a word i will use to insult people

  5. Guest

    March 28, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    “cocksocket”

  6. Aimee Ogden

    March 28, 2014 at 12:03 pm

  7. Maria Guido

    March 28, 2014 at 12:16 pm

    It’s great that you wrote this because I was feeling way too good when I woke up this morning.

  8. Surly Canuck

    March 28, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    Turns out someone I went to grade school with does pregnancy porn. I found out when I clicked on her FB link to her pregnancy photos. They were… not what I was expecting.

    • Bethany Ramos

      March 28, 2014 at 12:39 pm

      WHAT.

    • Surly Canuck

      March 28, 2014 at 1:53 pm

      Yeah, it was either when I added her or very shortly after that. She works in the adult industry so I wouldn’t be surprised if she did another photoshoot now (she’s pregnant again). She seems happy so I don’t judge, I just need better reading comprehension or she needs to be a bit more explicit in her labeling. Thank God I wasn’t Facebooking at work that day.

  9. Dederee

    March 28, 2014 at 1:09 pm

    Yeah I must be Internets-numb, because consensual adult sex even when its not my cup of tea, still isnt “Ewwweeee” or “Gaaaaa-rooooosss” but more like “meh, to each their own”. Glad there is an outlet for pregnant adult stars to still get work `_(“~)_/`

  10. middleofnowheremom

    March 28, 2014 at 1:39 pm

    Nope, nope NOPE nopety nope nope NO!

  11. MLSKC

    March 28, 2014 at 2:02 pm

    “Gynecologist F##d my Pregnant Wife”–please tell me this ends before the delivery……

  12. Amber Leigh Wood

    March 29, 2014 at 6:40 am

    I just want to take the time to thank you for the Buffy gif ๐Ÿ˜€ and also ewwwwww and I hate the fact that my name is so commonly used in porn

    • Bethany Ramos

      March 29, 2014 at 9:17 am

      Poor Amber, your title was the worst. ๐Ÿ™

  13. Julia Sonenshein

    April 3, 2014 at 12:14 am

    Yo B I’m gonna need to make some artwork for Pregnant & Lactating Xtravaganza. Noah wants to know if there’s any sex or if it’s just lactating.

    • Bethany Ramos

      April 3, 2014 at 7:16 am

      ACK! I hope not, but I think it’s just a big milky mess. ๐Ÿ™

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