Pregnancy is a very cool thing, there’s no denying that. I mean, it’s AWFUL in so many ways. But cooking an actual human inside of your body until they’re done and ready to come out is fascinating! So it’s no wonder that lots of people lose their goddamn minds when it comes to pregnancy. They’re doing this amazing thing, and they want to share it with the world! And that is totally acceptable … to an extent. Here’s the thing: there’s s fine line between celebrating and sharing your pregnancy, and falling into the Pinterest Pregnancy trap. Every couple of years, a new batch of pregnancy trends crop up, each one more annoying than the last. We all want to hear about your pregnancy, OK? We just maybe don’t need to see the stick we know is covered in your urine.
1. One of the biggest pregnancy trends that has really jumped the shark lately is the gender reveal.
Like, when did telling people you’re having a boy or a girl become such a big deal?! Remember the days when you’d post a cute photo of a pink or blue onesie and call it a day? The constant need to one-up each other is maddening.
2. The lotus birth thing is … I don’t even know.
“Here’s a picture of my decaying placenta still attached to my baby, enjoy!” Gee … thanks?
3. Placenta pills are a bit easier to swallow (see what I did there?), but can we all agree that placenta smoothies are a thing we don’t need to do?
I did not dry and encapsulate my placentas because no fucking thank you. They don’t really gross me out. But blending your own organ and drinking it? We don’t need to share that.
4. Creating social media accounts and updating them AS YOUR BABY is not a thing any adult should ever do.
“My mom drank lemonade today and it made me do flips!” Listen, goddamn it. Stop it. Make a hashtag for your baby, knock yourself out. But please stop creating accounts and posting as them. Please. We beg of you.
5. Positive pregnancy tests are awesome! But reserve pictures of your pee sticks for close friends and family.
I know this is HUGE in the TTC community, which is very tight-knit and supportive and I love that. But pregnancy test as pregnancy announcement is tired. We’re getting dangerously close to Insta videos of women peeing on tests in real time and livestreaming (lol, streaming) the line change.
6. Over-the-top maternity shoots are right up there with elaborate gender reveals when it comes to pregnancy trends.
It’s just getting crazy, guys. The pictures are gorgeous, but like, maternity shoots are starting to resemble the fall fashion issue of Vogue.
7. Weekly updates about what fruit or vegetable you’re carrying in your belly.
I really blame the pregnancy tracker apps for this. First of all, a weekly update is a bit much. But the fruit and vegetable comparison has gotten out of hand. Every time I see a pregnant woman I immediately wonder what fruit she’s carrying.
Even if these pregnancy trends retire, we can absolutely expect more to take their place. And they’ll probably be bigger, bolder, and stranger.
(Image: iStock / Milkos)