during pregnancy

10 WTF Pregnancy Stock Photos That Will Never Make Sense

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Part of my fantabulous job here at Mommyish is to search for relevant images and GIFs to use with each post. Most of the time, picking appropriate images is a no-brainer. But sometimes I come across some of the craziest stock photo shiz that makes me wonder what the PROFESSIONAL photographer was thinking.

I just don’t get it. Maybe you can clue me in. Maybe if we all put our heads together, we can figure them out. You’re welcome, Getty:

1. You just gave birth to a baby, but—oops!—it’s a pineapple! Sucks to be you!

wtf1

There is so much about this picture that I just don’t understand.

2. Just…hold me.

wtf2

This picture frightens me because it really, really looks like a hairy pregnant belly. I know pregnancy hormones can be a bitch, but I had to take a second, third, and fourth look to figure it out.

3. I’m a pregnant Texas Chainsaw Massacre lumberjack, and I’m sure we can all relate.

wtf3

I just don’t get it! Help meeee!

4. No one wants to see your stupid pregnant face.

wtf4

I would really love to know the photographer’s motivation on this one. But who am I to question art…?

5. I’m a zany pregnant lady—look at me!

wtf5

This reminds me of me in middle school in the 90s, minus the ginormous pregnant belly.

6. My pregnant mug shot, oh my.

wtf6

It looks like this is supposed to imply that she’s a pregnant hooker? I still can’t wrap my mind around the awesomeness that is preggo “Coco Vega.”

7. Pregnancy made me lose my fashion sense, and my waistline.

wtf7

Pregnant ladies can wear whatever they damn well please, but so much of this picture just screams awkward to me. And good luck on balancing well enough to ride that bike.

8. Duh, I’m the pregnant ball and chain.

wtf8

This picture is supposed to exemplify “relationship problems,” but the look on the pregnant wife’s face just makes me uncomfortable.

9. I’m a pregnant vampire.

wtf9

I guess this answers the question of where baby vampires come from.

10. Just what my baby needs, an erotic pregnant waterfall.

wtf10

I saved the best for last because this one is truly puzzling. Is this the cover of an erotic novel? Is it a man-made waterfall? Why is this baby daddy whipping his hair back and forth above a pregnant belly? The world may never know.

(photo: Getty Images)

27 Comments

  1. Cement Block

    January 20, 2014 at 1:43 pm

    Vampires gotta reproduce somehow

  2. Jordana

    January 20, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    LOL this is soooo ridiculous!! As Bethany says, I just don’t get most of these…and how much do these people pay for these pics? They are even a little weirder and more annoying than the annoying engagement photos everyone seems to be getting lately lol

  3. Hibbie

    January 20, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    I needed a laugh today, and that last picture certainly did it! Coco Vega looks like an America’s Next Top Model photo shoot.

    • Bethany Ramos

      January 20, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      Omg YES!

  4. Jayamama

    January 20, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    You know, I actually understand number four. Many times in both of my pregnancies I felt like just a stomach. I’d go to the store or church and get stares or pointed questions, always about my protruding tummy. It’s like I lost my entire identity and just became that pregnant lady.

    • SusannahJoy

      January 20, 2014 at 2:23 pm

      Yeah I kinda liked that one too. Even now, when we FaceTime with someone, the camera is always aimed at the baby, because no one actually wants to see me.

    • Megan Zander

      January 20, 2014 at 5:26 pm

      Wait, baby that is here or they want to stare at your bump over the internet? Because one is kinda sweet and one is kinda creepy!

    • SusannahJoy

      January 20, 2014 at 5:50 pm

      lol, baby is here now. 9 months old. they did all demand “bump” pictures, even when I was only like 12 weeks along, not showing, and felt seriously ill.

    • Jayamama

      January 20, 2014 at 11:46 pm

      My mom always joked when I was a kid that motherhood takes away your name and individual identity, and you just become so-and-so’s mom. I didn’t realize just how true that was until I had my first child, and my in-laws and extended relatives were so much more interested in the baby than me. I suppose that’s one more reason to name your children well, since their name becomes yours in a sense.

  5. Hana Graham

    January 20, 2014 at 2:19 pm

    I wish I could share with you the scariest pregnancy photos from Shutterstock!

    • Bethany Ramos

      January 20, 2014 at 2:23 pm

      Upload one!! If you can.

  6. scooby23

    January 20, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    #3: Woah. I never knew pregnancy hormones could get THAT bad…..

  7. Carrie Murphy

    January 20, 2014 at 2:28 pm

    OMG, the pineapple one. And the last one. WTF world.

    • Bethany Ramos

      January 20, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Carrie, those were my top 2!!

  8. Benwhoski

    January 20, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    Oh, Getty. Such a fount of perplexing entertainment.

    An occasional past-time among some of my friends is to look up seemingly innocuous terms on stock-photo sites, share the craziest image it brings up, and everyone tries to guess what search term got you there.

  9. allisonjayne

    January 20, 2014 at 3:42 pm

    That first one just reminds me so much of that stupid episode of the Cosby Show where the men are all pregnant but then it turns out they’re just having food babies and Cliff gives birth to like, a hoagie or something. Even as a kid I remember thinking the writers must’ve all been high that day.

    • Kay_Sue

      January 20, 2014 at 5:01 pm

      High and craving hoagies, apparently, lol.

  10. Kay_Sue

    January 20, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    If I had to venture a guess, I’d say that number 4 was making a statement about pregnancy and the loss of personhood or individuality. Like how people sometimes think your belly is public property.

    Number 10 really creeps me out for some reason and I can’t quite put my finger on why…

  11. Megan Zander

    January 20, 2014 at 5:25 pm

    Here are my best guesses . # 1 – having a baby feels like shitting out a pineapple. 2 pregnancy horomones may make you hairy, but we all have to pretend it’s still attractive. 3 is looking for her baby daddy, cause he walked out on them, and she’s feeling a bit upset over it. 4 is how you feel preggo, like all anyone sees is your belly, 5, with her low rise maternity jeans and uber stylish yet overpriced teething necklace wants us to know that she WILL be a cool mom, 6 is the mom I most want to start a play group with, 7 what bothers me most is the socks, I’ve always thought socks like those are meant to go to just under the knee? 8 is choking him because she hates his beard, 9 looks like the cover of a prego version of 50 shades and 10 shall give me nightmares because it looks like he wants to eat the baby out of her, just like Edward Cullen.

    • Bethany Ramos

      January 20, 2014 at 5:56 pm

      This was TOO PERFECT – lol!! I really hate that guy’s beard too.

    • Kay_Sue

      January 20, 2014 at 5:56 pm

      You just completely explained what I couldn’t put my finger on that was so creepy in number 10. He does look like he’s going to tear it right out…

    • Megan Zander

      January 20, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      Right? I think it’s the ” rain” my subconscious thinks it’s the goo from Aliens. Creepy

  12. Julia Sonenshein

    January 20, 2014 at 8:20 pm

    EROTIC PREGNANT WATERFALL.

    • Bethany Ramos

      January 20, 2014 at 8:23 pm

      Hahahah

  13. Boots

    January 21, 2014 at 7:27 am

    Hairy belly is a dude. Recent trend for men to copy the ‘classic’ pregnant photo shoot poses, with or without partners.

    • Sandy

      March 7, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      And its hilarios XD

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