A Love Letter To Boppy, My Pregnancy Pillow
I don’t usually write love letters to pillows, and certainly not for a pregnancy pillow, but I think you deserve one. I first heard about you during my various late night pregnant mom Google searches and Amazon perusals. An embarrassingly large bowl of ice cream balanced on my growing belly, spoon in one hand, iPhone in the other, I looked for things I might need to keep a baby alive and in general, did online research about this whole becoming a mom thing. My friend Katie gave you to me at my baby shower. I acted surprised when I saw the little blue whales, but I had added you to my shower list. There was a pretty good chance at your affordable price point that you would be mine.
What struck me as so cool about you, Boppy, was that you aren’t JUST a pillow like my other boring head rests, rectangular though my other ones may be, they’re all squares, really; even the round yellow emoji smiley face I got for Christmas. All they do is lie there in varying states of disappointing. But you—you’ve got the whole package. You’re not just shaped like a horseshoe for good luck, which every new mom needs plenty of, or a super-sized and super comfortable version of an airplane neck pillow, but your myriad uses to a growing family are downright plentiful.
At 0 months, you helped me to feed my baby by providing a soft shelf to plop a tired elbow and the weight of my infant on. 2 months, you propped baby up so they can get a taste of the magic of “sitting.” When you were 4 months old, you provided support during “tummy time”, which though sounds like it could be anything from a new weight loss technique to an emo band is actually a stomach strengthening exercise important for baby’s development, I’ve been told. At 6 months, you served as baby’s first chair, and acted as almost a second set of hands for me while I did anything that required two hands, which is pretty much everything.
You just don’t appreciate how incredible having the use of both arms at the same time is until you have a baby.
Some of your hidden uses include quietly collecting my tears with no judgment and providing a colorful background with which to conceal any drippings of old guacamole. Your cover is even washable, for when I finally got up the courage and inner strength to start doing laundry again. And it zips off and back on again with ease, like a prostitute’s work dress. It doesn’t bunch up in weird places when you try to put it back on, like a Barbie outfit, either. When I say easy off, easy on, I mean like exiting the Garden State Parkway. Really. A cinch.
You also work as a regular pillow! I mean, it’s incredible. The list just goes on and on. And not just one of my underwhelming pillows, but a really comfortable pillow—not too firm, not too soft. You’re batting at 500. That was a pretty seamless seamstress baseball joke, with another sewing aside on top of it.
And now that my baby can sit on his own, should I give you away or toss you out like so many old pairs of baby pants? Heck to the no. 10 months after he has arrived, you provide tremendous lumbar support to my lower back in the car or on the couch. Travel pillows can all go to hell. They’ve been failing since they were created. You should start offering them seminars so they can see how to do it right. Though you might a little bit large to be a proper neck pillow, except to maybe a wrestler, I’d still prefer you to one of those inflatable plane pillows.
Speaking of which, pregnancy pillow, I think you should expand; it’s time for you to go have children of your own, if you will.
You’ve clearly nailed the baby arena. Why not move on to making neck-sized pillows for weary travelers of all sizes, babydoll Boppies for kids to practice caring for babies, because here’s a secret. I played with dolls but I knew fuck-all about becoming a mom. Get ‘em started young so it won’t be such a life-smashing ordeal when they grow up and have a baby or three.
You can make the Dad Boppy for men, because even my husband likes my Boppy. He would use it for support while holding the baby, and he even tries to swipe it for his own back and neck use and I’m like, “Neeeerp! The person who birthed the baby gets the rights to this here pillow.” You can make fun dad covers that say things like, “I’d rather be golfing” or “Daddy’s Little Boppy” or “Metallica”. You can even do the Boppy for pets. They’d make lovely animal beds. I shoo my cat off my Boppy pretty much daily.
So, there you have it. I’ve never been great at writing love letters. This one reads more like a review with a touch of career advice. But at the heart of it is my love and appreciation for you, Boppy. You are truly one of the saving graces that made the first three months of my skydive into motherhood tolerable. I know I speak for others, too. So thank you, thank you, and thank you again.
And if you ever need a shoulder to rest on, call me.
(Image: iStock / AndreyPopov)