This Possessed Toy Giraffe Proves Santa And Satan Are The Same Person
Last month’s debacle about a magical princess wand with a demonic child inside was hilarious, but I thought for sure it was a one-off. But now there is a possessed robot giraffe roaming the Earth, and I’m pretty sure it followed the evil wand here through a Hellmouth that connects our world to the Island of Misfit Toys. I may never sleep again.
Just watch this video and tell me you have not heard the wailing of the damned:
To be fair, that noise is only slightly more annoying than the sound Sophie the Giraffe makes when you accidentally step on her.
“My roommate purchased a $10 from a knockoff toy store. I think it is possessed by Satan,” wrote a poor, innocent Redditor who is now living with this unholy thing.
I love the way this toy ambles cutely along, all fuzzy and adorable as if it is completely unaware that it is shrieking like a chorus of the damned. Whoever designed this toy deserves a hug of appreciation, and then maybe some quiet time at a spa.
Also this toy is apparently suitable for kids ages three and up, so if you know any toddlers who are not yet terrified of giraffes, you can fix that for them with just $10 at the knockoff toy store.
The Redditor and roommate should not be too surprised by their Satan giraffe, though, because the toy’s packaging told them exactly what to expect:
“Walks Along, Moves Head and Shriek.”
Well, they can’t say it didn’t warn them.