Polish Park Bans Winnie The Pooh For Not Wearing Pants, No One Tell Them About Donald Duck
Good morning everyone. We had a hard day yesterday on Mommyish with news of fraternity gang rap, fraternity rape jokes and teen girls in black face. Well, brace yourselves- I come with news of a very serious problem facing the youth of Poland. Is it hard drugs? Nope. Is it alcohol? Not this time. Is it porn? Well…kind of. If you find genital-free, pant-less cartoon bears to be porny. And I am here to tell you that someone sure seems to as Winnie The Pooh and his big “bear” ass (see what I did there?) have been banned from a playground in Poland.
Never mind the fact that Donald Duck is still running around like a frat boy on spring break, this playground is going after Pooh in all his bootylicious glory. It is clear that they are not ready for this
jelly honey. Jezebel has an amazing quote via The Telegraph:
“The problem with that bear is it doesn’t have a complete wardrobe,” said Ryszard Cichy during the discussion.
“It is half naked which is wholly inappropriate for children. [Poland’s fictional bear] is dressed from head to toe, unlike Pooh who is only dressed from the waist up.”
One unnamed councillor can be heard discussing Pooh’s sexuality, arguing that “it doesn’t wear underpants because it doesn’t have a sex” before another, Hanna Jachimska starts criticising Winnie the Pooh author AA Milne.
Now, I kind of want to live in this Polish town. If they have so few problems going on that they have to worry about an innocent cartoon bear and his pot of honey, then it must be some kind of earthly utopia. And as Jezebel pointed out, in wearing a shirt, he is already doing more than any other animal in the wild. He tried, guys! He just needed bigger pants and Christopher Robin didn’t have anything to fit him!
Believe it or not, there is an even more ridiculous quote from the council:
“This is very disturbing but can you imagine! The author was over 60 and cut [Pooh’s] testicles off with a razor blade because he had a problem with his identity,” she said.
WHOA, Polish council- slow your roll, pump the brakes. Now, we are talking about A.A. Milne having like, cartoon bear penis envy? This is going way too deep for a discussion on a playground mascot. Oh, bother- for real.
So, the next time you think of decorating your baby’s nursery with Winnie the Pooh or reading one of his stories to your little one, maybe just take a Sharpie and scribble on some pants to cover his lack of genitals. Or, just realize that he’s a cartoon bear and his lack of pants is absolutely not at all an issue as long as you are a normal and well-adjusted adult.
(Image: PAISAN HOMHUAN/Shutterstock)