Body Image

Okay, I’ll Admit It, Plastic Surgery Actually Does Make Sense After Kids Destroy Your Body

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I have nothing against plastic surgery, barring the frightening cat-face lady. But in my pre-baby life, where everything was youthful and firm, plastic surgery never appealed to me. Why fix what God gave you?

I always tried not to judge people who had plastic surgery and cosmetic upgrades, like Botox. It was something I never completely understood because I was only moderately obsessed with my appearance. Sure, I’ve had unhealthy issues with my weight in the past, but I never considered making major changes to my body. I was an average person who didn’t have $5000 extra lying aroundโ€”plastic surgery was never even on the table.

It wasn’t until I had kids that I finally understood women who considered plastic surgery. I told myself and my husband that the only time I would even think of getting a boob job was if multiple kids suckling at my teat destroyed my boobage. I would never be able to reach MILF status if I had National Geographic boobs dangling down to my waist.

So that was my only loophole on the plastic surgery front. I wouldn’t bankrupt my family to change my body, but I would definitely consider socking away cash for a rainy-day-upgrade if my rack was shot to all hell after breastfeeding.

Fast-forward to the present day, and I am finally done breastfeeding forever. I was a little worried about how my girls were going to hold up, but after a good amount of diet and exercise, things seem to have shrunk into their general pre-baby locations. Compared to my breastfeeding TIG OLE BITTIES, my boobs are much smaller, but I kind of like them this way. I can wear whimsical summer dresses with a tiny strapless bra and throw my hands in the ay-re like I just don’t cay-re.

I’m not saying my body has morphed into Gisele-form after having two kids, but things have turned out better than I expected. I’m not in the market for plastic surgery yet because I’m happy with my itty bitty titties. But now I get it. Having a baby changes everything and gives you no control over your body. If my kids had wrecked me physically, you better believe I’d go in for a plastic surgery consultation, at least.

(Image:ย Bartosz Budrewicz/Shutterstock)

53 Comments

  1. Andrea

    May 5, 2014 at 8:24 am

    I think plastic surgery is the BOMB. If I had the money, I’d be flying my gold plated helicopter to the surgeon’s office SO fast, it would rain gold bits.
    And I would suck out every ounce of gold-plated fat out of my body in a NY minute.
    I envy anyone that has the financial means to do this.

    • Bethany Ramos

      May 5, 2014 at 8:39 am

      LOL – this is kinda my fantasy life too ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Valerie

      May 5, 2014 at 8:43 am

      “Jeeves, fire up the private jet! Momma needs a new set of tig ol bitties!”

    • Bethany Ramos

      May 5, 2014 at 8:44 am

      Hahahha SO TIG.

    • Valerie

      May 5, 2014 at 8:50 am

      #tigs

    • Sarah

      May 5, 2014 at 9:22 am

      Jeeves lol

  2. chickadee

    May 5, 2014 at 8:26 am

    I have decided to begin my morning by being That Guy….

    Plastic surgery includes procedures to repair birth defects, genetic abnormalities, and injuries caused by accidents or trauma. Cosmetic surgery addresses issues and physical improvements that stem from a person’s dissatisfaction with his or her person, primarily focused on attaining some sort of aesthetic improvement. Additionally, qualifying as a plastic surgeon can be more rigorous than getting certified in cosmetic surgery.

    So a tummy tuck or boob lift would be considered cosmetic.

    • itpainsme2say

      May 5, 2014 at 8:47 am

      Is it weird that I think it should be the other way around. To me plastic= Barbie= unatanibale/unatral beauty while cosmetic= makeup= fix/cover up blemishes or scars. What I’m really asking is why do they call it plastic?

    • Harriet Meadow

      May 5, 2014 at 10:41 am

      Because it comes from the Greek word meaning “to mold, form, or sculpt.”

    • itpainsme2say

      May 5, 2014 at 10:09 pm

      That makes total sense

    • Harriet Meadow

      May 5, 2014 at 10:54 am

      I’d always thought of cosmetic surgery being a subset of plastic surgery. Is that wrong? Are they completely different things?

  3. Valerie

    May 5, 2014 at 8:27 am

    I vividly remember the day, while pregnant with Claire, that my husband walked into our bedroom to find me half naked bawling my eyes out staring at my boobs as they lay listelessly over the top of my 9-months pregnant belly. I may have warbled something about looking like an orangutan or something off the Nat Geo channel. Luckily, they mostly went back to normal after pregnancy and breastfeeding but I had the very same thoughts- that I would absolutely have surgery if they were permanently warped. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • JenH1986

      May 5, 2014 at 8:40 am

      A very good friend of mine had 2 children before she was 20. Her body was DESTROYED. She knew that she was done, despite her age and so she and her husband paid to have her boobs done. It was the exact same size she was pre babies but they make her feel better. I’m already a DDD. I told my husband we need to start a separate “Fix mama’s Boobs” fund to start putting money in should we have kids.

  4. Kay_Sue

    May 5, 2014 at 8:28 am

    Lemme preface this by saying I have a deep and abiding love for Dolly Parton and have since I was a small child, so that probably colors all my views in this area.

    I don’t have an issue with cosmetic plastic surgery. In a perfect world, every woman (or man) would feel completely comfortable in their own skin, but we all know that’s not the world we live in. If someone chooses to make adjustments to their appearance, it’s completely their decision. They’re consenting adults engaging in an activity whose risks and benefits they are fully informed of and understand (I’d hope). Who am I to judge?

  5. LK

    May 5, 2014 at 8:42 am

    I’m 100% with you on this. The money is not there, and I would have a nagging “Oh my God, wouldn’t I look like an ass dying in some freak cosmetic surgery related mishap to fix things that I could live with,” BUT totally, totally, totally get it now. Even back at an almost prebaby weight, things are not as they once were. There’s definitely a difference between an aging body and an aged by pregnancies body.

  6. Effervescent Pheasant

    May 5, 2014 at 8:45 am

    I used to think it was pretty vain until I had my twins. I had no idea what multiples could do to stomach muscles. I carried my guys until they were 7lbs each but spend a month or more laying on my back. I’m 5 foot 1 and between what happened to my stomach and my spine I can now say I completely understand for whatever reason someone feels they need cosmetic surgery in order to feel themselves again.
    I’d love to have my diastasis fixed and something to get rid of the extra skin as well. It’s like numb patch of hanging skin that I just stuff into my pants each day, even now that I’ve lost most of the baby weight. I’m still binding my stomach each day and it’s been 19 months!

  7. IttyBittyCommittee

    May 5, 2014 at 8:56 am

    Being a small A cup, I was ecstatic when I got up to a C during my pregnancy with my son (“So this is what it feels like to have boobs?!”). I was so sad when I went back to the A cup post-pregnancy. If I had $6,000 to blow, I’d totally get those boobs back.

    • Kay_Sue

      May 5, 2014 at 9:08 am

      I feel you. That was the best part of being pregnant and nursing for me. I mean, besides the love and joy and blessing of my baby and all…and…yeah. The boobs were great.

  8. Megan Zander

    May 5, 2014 at 9:00 am

    When I found out I was having twins I made my husband promise that if my body wasn’t where I wanted it to be by the time the boys were a year old I could get cosmetic surgery. It’s been 16 months, and the only thing that’s not back to pre baby condition is my loose stomach skin, but the c section experience made me think twice about a non necessary procedure. Maybe one day, but not now.

    • HB

      May 5, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      Is the loose stomach skin harder to get rid of with a C-section than a natural birth?

    • Ann

      May 5, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      I had 3 c-sections, then 2 hernia operations on the c-sec scar, then a hysterectomy at 30. I looked like I had a muffin top while I was naked! It is sooooooo hard to get rid of that skin! I had a tummy tuck and lipo and YAY no naked muffin top! You have to be comfortable for yourself.

    • HB

      May 5, 2014 at 9:45 pm

      You do you!!

    • Megan Zander

      May 5, 2014 at 1:16 pm

      I don’t think so. I just got huge with two squished in there and they were high, so my upper abs are wrinkly if I bend forward.

    • HB

      May 5, 2014 at 9:44 pm

      Oh, gotcha. I’m not sure yet whether I want to have children, but it seems like there are fewer long term problems with a C-Section than Natural? I have no experience with either, I’m just going off what little research I’ve done online and heard from other women in my life, so I’m very much not an expert.

    • Megan Zander

      May 5, 2014 at 10:46 pm

      Honestly, it’s so different for everyone. Natural or c section, there seems to be a trend with my friends that taking care of yourself while pregnant- not gaining a ton of extra weight, trying to stay active – seems to lead to a faster recovery and return to “pre baby”body faster than those that indulged and relaxed a bit more. But before I had a c section there were woman who told me it was awful and that hated it, personally I was no big deal and the recovery was quick and easy. Everyone’s different.

  9. Joy

    May 5, 2014 at 9:10 am

    This. I had, if I don’t say so myself, pretty glorious, perky, natural 34-D boobs pre-pregnancy. They are in a rather sad state at 9 months pregnant. I hear things will get a lot worse before it gets any better, since I’m planning to breastfeed. If they don’t go back to at least some semblance of their former glory, I am totally not above turning to a surgeon to remedy the situation. Ditto on a tummy tuck- I was in great shape and want to return my abs to at least passable in a bikini, if not what they looked like before. Looking in the mirror naked right now bums me out so bad that some days I shower in the guest bathroom because that shower isn’t made of glass and facing a giant mirror like the one in our master bath. I’m due in less than a week, but I’m terrified I will wake up one morning this week and see stretch marks I’ve somehow managed to avoid so far, and then I will add that to the list of shit that I want to fix. I short, I am being a vain, neurotic mess, I know that, and IDGAF.

    • Sarah

      May 5, 2014 at 9:30 am

      Same, I loved my old boobs ๐Ÿ™ they aren’t techically much smaller then they were prebaby but they’re very different. I have to double fun bag them (like wear two camis) to get decent cleavage when they used to just sit there all glorious-like sans bra.

  10. Sarah

    May 5, 2014 at 9:20 am

    I am totally getting a boob job when I’m done making babies. The one kid I have has already sucked the life out of them so I’m scared to see the damage 2-4 babies will do. My bf thinks it’s a bad idea bc he thinks they’ll feel like sandbags but boob job technology has come a long way! My friend recently had it done and hers feel AWESOME. I don’t want anything crazy, I just want my old boobs back. Is that so much to ask? :'(

    • Alex Lee

      May 5, 2014 at 9:26 am

      You FELT them?

      Old and busted: Book clubs
      New hotness: Boob clubs

    • Jessie

      May 5, 2014 at 9:30 am

      That’s how you know you have a damned good friendship among women: When you can touch each other’s boobs without it being weird. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Valerie

      May 5, 2014 at 10:01 am

      My friend at work had hers done and I def felt them. Girls are weird. Lol.

    • Sarah

      May 5, 2014 at 12:55 pm

      Yes, but I have no boundaries and I like to associate with people who don’t have any either, lol. When I worked as a waitress, we had this 70-year-old hostess who let me feel hers — THOSE did not feel awesome. But that was 8 years ago and god only knows the last time she had them done.

    • Kay_Sue

      May 5, 2014 at 9:27 am

      They have some really awesome new technology out there for them. Both of my aunts that had mastectomies are in the process of getting them, and their surgeons have both promised they’ll be crazy realistic.

  11. Obladi Oblada

    May 5, 2014 at 10:17 am

    My boobs didn’t change with pregnancy and I’m thankful for that. I was a 38H when I got pregnant and I don’t think I could have taken on more. I’ve since had a reduction and am now a 38C. Biiiiiiig change from what I used to be. I had almost 6 pounds of boob removed.

  12. K.

    May 5, 2014 at 10:44 am

    Hey, do whatever you gotta do.

    Me, well, my baby sort of DID wreak havoc on things, but even if I did have thousands lying around waiting to be used (which I don’t), I still think I’d have to be in the .001% income bracket to decide to use said thousands on plastic surgery–ie, the income bracket that has so much coming in that they don’t really have to make budgetary decisions as to how it goes out.

    For now, I’m still in the “boobs? …or college fund?” or “boobs? …or new roof?” or “boobs? …or vacation?” camp. And the boobs are losing.

  13. Harriet Meadow

    May 5, 2014 at 10:44 am

    I’ve always been the type of person who holds all my weight in my belly – even when I was thin and dancing all the time, I had a flabby belly. My mom is like that too. I’d sort of learned to deal with this over the years, but now not only do I have some extra pounds hanging out in that area, but those pounds are SUPER loose and hang like a big floppy flap over my c-section scar. It’s really disgusting. I’d never been the type of person who thought of getting plastic surgery before, but now I’d seriously consider doing it (if I had the money, that is) once I’m done having kids. Blech.

  14. Guest

    May 5, 2014 at 11:53 am

    I would honestly be terrified to actually go in but I totally get it. My husband told me when we talked about kids that I could always get work done after if I felt like it ruined my body. I actually would love for them to make my ladies smaller and perkier after the fact if I do say so myself…

  15. Ddaisy

    May 5, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    If I had a few grand lying around, I would absolutely get my nose shrunken. Not because I hate my body or have self-esteem issues. On the contrary, I think I have a gorgeous straight smile and huge blue eyes. But I can’t see them when my nose takes up most of my face in every photo. My thick eyebrows overwhelm my pretty eyes too; the only difference is that I can pluck my own eyebrows but would need a doctor to fix my nose.

    For that matter, I needed a doctor to get that straight smile too–I had braces in junior high. Yeah, there were supposedly dental benefits, but that’s not why I wanted them. So really, what’s the difference between braces and a nose job?

  16. Katherine Handcock

    May 5, 2014 at 12:19 pm

    I have always had mixed feelings about plastic/cosmetic surgery. On the one hand, I totally believe that, if there’s one correctable body party that makes someone feel uncomfortable and unhappy, the should have the option of correcting it. The other part of me is concerned as to whether people become uncomfortable because people/society tell them they should be, and whether the insecurity for many people might just shift to another body part (i.e. get the boobs changed, and maybe you start obsessing about not being happy with your nose/waist/thighs.)

    I’ve always felt that the best option was probably to have a mandatory wait time between declaring a desire for surgery, during which you would speak with a counselor or someone similar to ensure both that you’re going into the surgery with your eyes open (i.e. that you understand that it is surgery, that there are risks, that there will always be SOME scarring, etc.) and that you are making the choice in a positive way, not in a reactive or unthinking way.

  17. Greta Young

    May 5, 2014 at 12:56 pm

    This is really sad… not really the article itself, but the comments…

    Are we seriously so shallow and insecure that we’d jump at the chance to go “fix” ourselves by way of cosmetic surgery, for no other reason than looking better/getting our “pre-baby body” back? Think of all the other things that $6-10k (or more) could go toward…

    I’m not one of those I AM A TIGER WHO EARNED HER STRIPES moms, but I make an effort to embrace and appreciate myself, including my “flaws,” so that I can spend my energy and money doing other things that are way more meaningful. Is my body perfect? Hail no. But it grew and birthed and fed a baby. It can hike trails and climb rocks and snowboard and swim and cook food and write letters and have orgasms and weed the garden and smile at others and give hugs and read stories and laugh, and I love it for that. It’s healthy and functioning, and that’s all I need.

    C’mon, people. We’re better than this. If we really want to feel better about ourselves, the first step is not buying into the culture of attaching value to our physical attractiveness. Our children deserve to inherit a better world than this.

    • Sarah

      May 5, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      I also have some qualms about cosmetic surgery but this comment is pretty self-righteous and sounds awfully judgmental. You’re making a ton of character assessments here based on nothing, really. I miss my old boobs, they were a part of my body for 26 years. It’s really quite simple…it doesn’t make me a lesser person for wanting them back and I’m sure there are things you spend money on that I would also find frivolous. It’s all subjective.

    • Greta Young

      May 5, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      I’m sorry I came off that way. My personal experience has simply been when I focus on the positive things my body can do, rather than its aesthetic shortcomings, it makes me a much healthier, happier person.

      Everything is subjective, yes. However, I think it’s worth questioning whether or not our personal choices contribute positively to our culture and its prevailing attitudes toward women. We ought to love ourselves, not loathe ourselves.
      Take it as you will; spend your money as you see fit.

    • Sarah

      May 5, 2014 at 2:35 pm

      I do love myself, I also loved my boobs. The two are not mutually exclusive.

    • noodlestein

      May 5, 2014 at 2:22 pm

      And see, I think that YOUR comment is sad, and sanctimonious. C’mon – you can do better. It may feel silly and shallow to you, but it clearly doesn’t to other people. Denigrating them for wanting to spend 6-10K on whatever they want with money that they’ve earned is incredibly patronising. Just because people want to feel good about themselves doesn’t mean that their children are inheriting a less good world.

    • Joy

      May 5, 2014 at 8:40 pm

      The view must be nice from way up on that high horse of yours! How nice for you that you are above caring about your appearance.

  18. Butt Trophy Recipient

    May 5, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    If I had a billion dollars, I would totally pay for all of your boob jobs.

    • Bethany Ramos

      May 5, 2014 at 1:28 pm

      That is legally binding. ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Butt Trophy Recipient

      May 5, 2014 at 1:33 pm

      But I get to be at the pre and post-op exams

      ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Valerie

      May 5, 2014 at 1:51 pm

      Stifler!!!!

  19. Rya McShme

    May 5, 2014 at 1:47 pm

    My body was terrible before kids(overweight, weird chest deformity that caused my boobs to always be weird shaped and saggy) but after? Eh… the only thing really different is my stomach makes me look permanently 7mo pregnant no matter how much weight I’ve lost. I would love to have surgery to have extra skin removed and make my boobs look halfway normal. If anything my body would at least feel more comfortable and that’s what I care about the most.

  20. SA

    May 5, 2014 at 2:40 pm

    I would love a boob lift. It isn’t high on the list of priorities, but I would love one. I have smallish boobs anyway and they went back to their previous size after pregnancy, but NOT their previous location. I hate having to wear some type of support even at night just so they aren’t grazing the top of my stomach. I would not be beyond a tummy tuck either if I had extra skin.

  21. Beth

    May 5, 2014 at 2:46 pm

    I never thought I’d feel this way myself, but there have been many times when I’ve looked at myself in the mirror and thought “wonder if I have the money / balls to try to fix this”. The answer has never been yes, but I still feel self-conscious pretty much every day of my life. My girls weren’t even that hard on my body, but they definitely left their marks. I wrote about this on Valentine’s Day – the frustration with my feelings when I know that I should be grateful for what my body can do and how healthy it is. The sadness that we end up wanting to change ourselves so badly that we’re willing to shell out mega-bucks and endure painful procedures. The anger at companies and service providers who capitalize on our insecurities. I hate it all. I hope I can get rid of these feelings someday. I hope you all can, too. XO
    http://nothingandeverythingbeth.wordpress.com/2014/02/14/amazings/

  22. Nica

    May 5, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    Agree completely! What I wouldn’t give to have a tummy tuck. I always thought it was vain and stupid UNTIL I had kids. Now I have a stubborn flap of fat (literally) on my belly though I’ve lost 40 lbs through diet and exercise. I just don’t think that flap is going anywhere without surgery. ๐Ÿ™
    That said, however, I stopped bf’ing about a year ago now, after having breastfed two kids. My boobs pretty much went back to what they were pre-pregnancy. No real change other than the changes that come with being over 40, and for that I am grateful. Some ladies aren’t so lucky!

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