Okay, I’ll Admit It, Plastic Surgery Actually Does Make Sense After Kids Destroy Your Body
I have nothing against plastic surgery, barring the frightening cat-face lady. But in my pre-baby life, where everything was youthful and firm, plastic surgery never appealed to me. Why fix what God gave you?
I always tried not to judge people who had plastic surgery and cosmetic upgrades, like Botox. It was something I never completely understood because I was only moderately obsessed with my appearance. Sure, I’ve had unhealthy issues with my weight in the past, but I never considered making major changes to my body. I was an average person who didn’t have $5000 extra lying around—plastic surgery was never even on the table.
It wasn’t until I had kids that I finally understood women who considered plastic surgery. I told myself and my husband that the only time I would even think of getting a boob job was if multiple kids suckling at my teat destroyed my boobage. I would never be able to reach MILF status if I had National Geographic boobs dangling down to my waist.
So that was my only loophole on the plastic surgery front. I wouldn’t bankrupt my family to change my body, but I would definitely consider socking away cash for a rainy-day-upgrade if my rack was shot to all hell after breastfeeding.
Fast-forward to the present day, and I am finally done breastfeeding forever. I was a little worried about how my girls were going to hold up, but after a good amount of diet and exercise, things seem to have shrunk into their general pre-baby locations. Compared to my breastfeeding TIG OLE BITTIES, my boobs are much smaller, but I kind of like them this way. I can wear whimsical summer dresses with a tiny strapless bra and throw my hands in the ay-re like I just don’t cay-re.
I’m not saying my body has morphed into Gisele-form after having two kids, but things have turned out better than I expected. I’m not in the market for plastic surgery yet because I’m happy with my itty bitty titties. But now I get it. Having a baby changes everything and gives you no control over your body. If my kids had wrecked me physically, you better believe I’d go in for a plastic surgery consultation, at least.
(Image: Bartosz Budrewicz/Shutterstock)