It’s Adorable Pat Robertson Thinks More Male Companionship Will Turn Viewer’s Gay Son Straight

A 700 Club viewer wrote in to get cantankerous dinosaur Pat Robertson‘s advice on what to do about her 13-year-old stepson’s crushes on other men. Robertson bizarrely suggests that the young man might have caught the gay by being raised by a single mom. His explanation of the situation is way off-base: the real problem isn’t that the stepson is attracted to other boys, but that his stepmom thinks Robertson is a font of wisdom rather than a font of tired stereotypes and gross homophobia. But strangely enough, I found myself nodding along in agreement with Robertson’s suggestion on what to do next:

“I think nurture has a lot to do with it, I mean he’s being raised by a mother, so his attraction is now toward other men because he’s raised by a woman. I think before I do anything else, I’d get him male companions.”

I’m not sure what misfiring neuron in Robertson’s brain is responsible for the unusually on-point advice to help this gay teen meet some guys. I would have expected the response to “my stepson keeps getting boy-crushes” to be “keep him away from boys to crush on”, but hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Robertson’s unusually bold, progressive stance is a good start, but what it lacks is follow-through. Fortunately, I have some suggestions on how to go about helping this kid meet some great guys. For example: drama club! Theater is a great way for teens to get involved at their schools, and I remember how friendly and fun the casts and crews were in my own junior high and high school show days. Surely this teen could find some nice young men from his school to hang out with backstage! If not, there’s usually a popular local hangout where boys his age congregate. The local coffee shop? The mall? A record store? There’s sure to be a place where this young man can find and enjoy the company of boys his own age.

Or if the stepmother is looking to show him some prime examples of male strength that he can take as a lesson in his own life, why not bring him to the local gym? Show him around the track and the weight room, and let those amazing specimens of male health and power serve as role models for him. Get him out from the life-wrecking clutches of his single mom, and let him bask in an atmosphere of pure testosterone. These sweaty, muscular, macho men are precisely the kind of object lesson a teen with male crushes can take to heart.

But maybe there isn’t a gym nearby, or a membership would be too expensive? In that case, a visit to the local library is a good way to stock up on some appropriate reading material. What could possibly provide a better role model than a volume of comics, featuring the rock-solid morality (and abs) of many a stalwart superhero? Plus, many libraries these days have an impressive DVD collection. Why not rent The Avengers for this troubled teen? Between the chiseled jaw, straight spine, and old-fashioned ethics of Captain America as played by Chris Evans; the flippant playboy genius of Robert Downey Jr.‘s Iron Man; and the blond, brawny, brute strength of Thor as brought to life by Chris Hemsworth, there should be examples of male virtue aplenty to set this young man on the right path.

I feel for this teen, and I hope Robertson’s accidentally-appropriate advice gets him what he needs. Robertson’s concerns are about what this young man is missing in his home life, and I can’t help but agree; except that the home I’m concerned with isn’t the one he shares with his single mother, but the one where he has to spend time with a step-parent who seems to be more interested in Robertson’s help in praying away the gay than in doing what’s actually best for her stepson.

(Image: 700 Club)