teenager

Ridiculous Parents Complain About ‘Unfair’ Punishment For Teen Athlete Drinking Parties

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Underage drinkingGlenbard West parents plan to attend a district board meeting today to protest what they call the “unfair application of the district’s athletic code” after their teens were suspended for summer drinking parties. What this basically means is that these parents are unfortunately fitting the stereotype of millennial parents who protect their special snowflakes at all costs, even when they have made serious mistakes.

According to The Daily Herald, parents are complaining after 30 teen athletes were disciplined by the school for attending drinking parties in the summer:

Tom Kane, a parent of a Glenbard West athlete who is not being disciplined, encouraged other parents to speak up.

“My son was not involved in this particular episode and so our family is not personally affected by the disciplinary action, but there are a number of aspects of this incident and how it was addressed that seem so unfair, overly harsh, inconsistent, and out-of-touch with reality,” he wrote in an email.

Kane said suspensions ranged from 20 percent of games to a full season for those disciplined after attending a birthday party hosted in late June by a Glenbard West student. There was alcohol at the party and no parents were present, he said.

The students who were suspended participate in a variety of sports, including volleyball, basketball, cheerleading, dance, football and soccer, Kane said. Many, he added, have appealed the suspensions, without success.

I have mixed feelings on the drinking issue. I don’t have teenagers yet, but I don’t agree with how alcohol was handled in my household growing up. I was told that alcohol was wrong, wrong, wrong, yet still I drank at school and at friends’ houses from the age of 13. So, clearly, this hard-core alcohol abstinence didn’t do me any favors.

I don’t have teenagers yet, but since my husband and I grew up in similar religious environments, we have already talked about how we plan to discuss drinking openly with our teens and even allow them to taste alcohol at times, safely and in our presence. I’m also not going to turn a blind eye and pretend that my kids won’t drink with their peers in high school, at parties like those discussed above. I would rather my kids call me when they are drinking than ever risk a DUI, which I unfortunately experienced at the age of 24.

All that is to say that I wouldn’t be too upset if my teenagers were at one of these drinking parties. But I would also hope to have talked with them beforehand about all of the possible consequences of underage drinking, including the dangers and suspension from school. Basically, if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

These parents feel that punishments for the drinking parties were applied unfairly, claiming that students were made to “rat out” other students at the party, who were then punished. The outraged parents also believe the punishment was too harsh for kids who were just “hanging out” at the party and willingly left when asked by police.

These gullible parents are borderline hilarious. I’m sure that their kids claimed they weren’t drinking at the party and were just “hanging out” with friends. Of course, these innocent teens don’t deserve punishment because they just happened to be at the scene of the crime but weren’t doing anything wrong. That’s the oldest trick in the book.

The school board is merely enforcing its athletic code that is in effect 24 hours a day, every day of the year, whether or not school is in session. Teenagers will be teenagers, and this may include drinking and making mistakes. These parents and their kids need to grow up and accept the consequences. The school board is in the right.

(Image: Brent Hofacker/Shutterstock)

325 Comments

  1. Guest

    August 11, 2014 at 8:21 am

    Wait wait wait. Theese teens got suspended for drinking at a party during summer, off-season? It just doesn’t make sense to me

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 9:14 am

      Code of Conduct probably said that they couldn’t be near alcohol.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:31 am

      By that logic, all the students with parents who drink should be suspended as well.

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 10:06 am

      I’ll rephrase that; they probably couldn’t be near it unsupervised.

    • samantha

      August 11, 2014 at 10:23 am

      I kind of get what you’re saying. If the parents have alcohol in the house at all times, for example, and if the parents go out of town and the kid has some friends over and a nosy/crotchety neighbor calls the police for a noise complaint or something, I wonder what would happen if they found alcohol but no signs of alcohol consumption– no cups, kegs, empty bottles et cetera.
      I’m curious if the police who busted the party in question administered breathalyzers or just assumed that everyone present had been drinking. I’m assuming there were numerous, obvious signs that attendees had been drinking, but it is a little unfair to assume everyone present was partaking.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:27 am

      It doesn’t matter when it happens, if they signed the school’s extra-curricular code of conduct, they can be held accountable for their actions no matter the time of year.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 3:17 pm

      High school football teams usually practice throughout the summer, even if school isn’t in session.

  2. Kelly

    August 11, 2014 at 8:23 am

    As someone who went to lots of parties in high school and didn’t drink, I think it’s bullshit for the school to punish everyone just for going to the party.

    Now, if there are pictures of these kids on social media drinking or doing drugs, then I understand suspending those particular students. But the school is punishing students for going to a friend’s house outside of school hours?

    No, they’re grossly overstepping their authority. That’s asinine. Sorry, I’d fight this too. If I say it’s ok for my kid to go to a friend’s birthday party, I’m not ok with the school suspending him just for being there.

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 8:51 am

      It appears the athletic code was that the kids could not be anywhere where alcohol was. It was poorly written in that what about at home? But if that’s the code then even if the kids didn’t drink, they violated the athletic code.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:20 am

      Except, just because you allow it doesn’t mean it’s not illegal. It is illegal for minors to be around alcohol without an adult even if they aren’t drinking…as much as it sucks, that is the law. Not to mention the fact that if a student signs a code of conduct for anything and it speaks of conduct outside of school – they are held to that code..

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:31 am

      I’m sorry, am I missing the part of the story where there was some sort of bust at this party or students were posting pictures of themselves with alcohol and drugs on the Internet?

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:31 am

      I’m sorry, am I missing a part of the story where anyone is denying that their kids were at these parties?

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:33 am

      Are you saying attending a birthday party is now a crime?

      Is there any actual proof these kids were drinking? I remember hearing rumors about orgy parties when I was in high school. They weren’t actually sex parties. I’m glad the school didn’t start punishing people over rumors.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:35 am

      You didn’t answer my question (which you didn’t have to, because no, no one is denying that their kids were drinking at these parties).

      If you read the story at the source, you would know that it’s not a rumor, because the police actually busted up the party in question. Police records are not rumors. “Attending a birthday party” is not a crime but “underage drinking at an unsupervised birthday party” definitely is.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:47 am

      I asked several times if there was any proof and eventually I was provided with it. I appreciate that.

      I genuinely don’t feel the need to track down proof of the articles on mommyish. I’m here for my own entertainment, not to fact check for the writers. That’s kind of a big piece of information to just leave out.

      With the new information, I now agree with the suspensions.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:49 am

      If you don’t feel the need to read the provided background information, maybe also don’t feel the need to expound about how the article is definitely wrong?

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 10:07 am

      Read my initial statement again Aimee. I pretty clearly said if there’s any kid of proof these kids were drinking, the suspensions are valid.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:33 am

      No one – even the kids – are denying they were there or there was alcohol there….just that that it wasn’t fair and punishments were too harsh.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:34 am

      Where exactly are the students admitting to drinking alcohol? I don’t see that anywhere in the article.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:33 am

      This kind of thing was happening before pictures were posted to the internet. The school finds out about everything the kids do – one person snitches, the administrators do their investigation and talk to all the kids involved, and then they hand down the disciplinary action based on the results of their investigation. Plus, there is no denial from the parents or children – just that the punishments (which they knew when they signed) are too harsh.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:35 am

      If you can point me to a source where the kids admit it, I’ll agree with you.

      I’m not seeing that. I’m not ok with people being punished over rumors.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:36 am

      Does the link in the article to the original source where they explicitly talk about the police bust not count for you? Yet somehow you don’t need to have anything to point to in order to claim that the suspensions were based on mere rumors?

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:36 am

      The cops broke up the party.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:37 am

      The school cannot legally publish or release the records of their conversations with students regarding disciplinary actions. Regardless, the cops broke up the party and whoever was at the party was going to be in trouble because of the code of conduct.

    • DuggarHairHater

      August 11, 2014 at 10:56 am

      Where is it illegal for kids to be around alcohol without an adult? Is that just in the state that you are from?

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 11:03 am

      It is illegal for minors to be at parties where there is no adult and alcohol is present…so, even if they aren’t drinking, they can get in trouble for being at a party with alcohol even if they aren’t drunk.

    • DuggarHairHater

      August 11, 2014 at 11:08 am

      So parties fall under possession? What would an underage person be charged with if they are found to be at a party where kids are drinking and no parent is present?

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 11:12 am

      Delinquency of a minor…and it’s usually up to the cops discretion – they might let you go, they might not. But it is illegal.

    • DuggarHairHater

      August 11, 2014 at 11:15 am

      Thanks! I never understood what non-drinking kids at these types of parties were charged with.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 10:28 pm

      Good luck making it stick. Unless they actually at least held a drink, they will not be prosecuted.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 11:04 am

      I think “illegal” means more, in this case, against their school’s code conduct.
      And there’s a big difference between being in my own home with my parent’s wet bar and beer fridge and being at a party where underage drinking is taking place regardless of parental supervision.

    • DuggarHairHater

      August 11, 2014 at 11:10 am

      So you mean it’s not really illegal?

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 11:26 am

      That sounds like a whole mess of state and local statutes that I’m not willing to look up because I don’t have the time. The answer to that probably depends on where you’re living
      And it has no bearing on the fact that itI is against the contract the kids agreed to when joining the team. Smoking pot may be legal in Colorado, but if my employer forbids it I lose my job if I’m caught, even if I only ever smoked on my own time.

    • DuggarHairHater

      August 11, 2014 at 11:29 am

      Sure, I’m not arguing the kids aren’t at fault in this case. They broke the contract, so they should have to live with their actions. I’m just honestly curious as to how kids in this situation get in trouble if they haven’t consumed anything.

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      In many states a minor can be charged with providing alcohol to another minor. Which is probably how a lot of the non-drinkers get popped. Now most of the time I believe as long as the non drinkers aren’t acting like jerks, the cops send them home. But if a kid wants to act like an ass the cop will arrest or cite them.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 2:48 pm

      Because the school doesn’t have the time nor resources to go through and investigate every single case. You’d have the kids and parents lining up claiming that their child wasn’t drinking until the party resembled a knitting circle and not place where underage kids were drinking, and the onus world be on the school to figure out who is lying. And then would come the claims of unfair treatment or bias as to who got away with it. It would be a huge mess. By making it zero tolerance they’re simplifying things and keeping it fair.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 3:07 pm

      Let me give this as an example:
      Cops bust an underage party where there’s drinking. There’s three members of the football team there.
      Player 1: found without alcohol in his hand, but is showing signs of intoxication. Is administered a breathalyzer, which reads .05. Claims the reading is due to cough syrup he took right before police arrived.
      Player 2: found with beer in hand, claims he was holding onto it for a female friends who didn’t want to leave it unattended. Refuses breathalyzer, is blood tested an hour later, with the results showing .00
      Player 3: is not holding alcohol. Appears sober. Cops find a picture on a phone of him holding a bottle of vodka to his lips, but not tipped back so he’s not drinking. He claims he didn’t take a drink. Blows a .01, claims it’s mouthwash.
      You are the school administrator. Who do you suspend? With the zero tolerance policy it’s easy: you suspend all three from the team. Without you have to decide who, and you’re going to get backlash.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 10:26 pm

      Don’t go saying what is illegal and not when it comes to alcohol, because the laws differ from country to country, state to state, and even county to county.

    • whiteroses

      August 11, 2014 at 10:59 pm

      As a general rule, 21 is the standard drinking age. It’s 16 or 18 in other countries, but unless you live there that’s not exactly relevant.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 11:19 pm

      There are a lot more laws surrounding alcohol then just the age limit. And they all vary state to state, county to county.
      And the drinking age being 21 is absolutely insane.
      At 18 you can go to war for your country, put your life on the line, vote in elections, go to college and so on, but oh god forbid you have a beer.

    • whiteroses

      August 12, 2014 at 12:04 am

      I’m inclined to agree that 18 year olds should be allowed to drink, at the same time, though, ranting to those of us who cannot change the law and telling us how weak we are changes nothing.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 12:59 am

      I am not against the law.
      It is the contracts you let the school extort you into, to play sports that I am completely against. No way no how should a school, club or employer be able to dictate your conduct on your own time.
      That as parents you can change. If you say you cannot change it, then you are weak.
      Why do you all insist in allowing organizations like school boards have power and authority in areas of your life that is non of their damn business?

    • whiteroses

      August 12, 2014 at 8:01 am

      Because irrespective of person freedoms, kids still need to learn that there are always consequences for breaking the law. If those consequences are worth it to them, then that’s on them, but if you enter into a contract you need to abide by it.

      As a businessman, surely you’d know this already?

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 9:35 am

      Of course there are consequences for breaking the law. It is called being arrested, charged, convicted and sentenced. The school board is not a law enforcement agency, it is not the courts, it is not a jury or a judge.
      Unless it happens on school grounds or time, it is none of their business.
      Just as it is none of my business, if it is not on company time or property. And if it does not affect their ability to do their job, I don’t give a rat’s ass.

    • whiteroses

      August 12, 2014 at 9:48 am

      Conversely, if you grow up in a situation where your parents never discipline you, the school has to act in that capacity. If my child were to sign a contract with his school or a legal entity stating that he wouldn’t do something or he’d have to suffer clearly spelled out consequences, then he went out and did that exact thing, I wouldn’t have a lot of sympathy for him even if the consequences were harsh. The Steubenville rapes didn’t happen on campus, and yet the school made it their business. Rape and underage drinking are very different, but you can’t expect consequences for illegal actions not to spill over into your life.

      If you don’t like it, nobody’s forcing you to sign the contract. And if you get busted by the cops doing something illegal, too damn bad.

      Unless you hire teenagers, the comparison isn’t an apt one.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 2:07 pm

      Again, I am not saying they didn’t get what they deserved. They signed it, they’re toast.
      I am saying those contract should not extend past school hours or grounds.
      And just because a few retard parents won’t parent, does not mean the majority should pay for it.

    • whiteroses

      August 12, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      The majority of parents are actually okay with their kids signing these contracts. Otherwise, their kids wouldn’t play.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      State sponsored extortion. Don’t sign away your freedoms and don’t play. Nice. Most parents don’t read them.
      Any parent that allows a school board to dictate and then be able to punish a kid for anything they do 24/7/365 are absolute morons with no integrity whatsoever.

  3. Bleu Cheese Bewbs

    August 11, 2014 at 8:24 am

    Here is where I stand with the whole teen drinking thing: Parents are able to use their own judgment to determine when it is OK for their teen children to consume alcohol. However, parents need to recognize that their own judgment isn’t going to trump the law. My daughter is 17 and she has an a glass of wine with her meal at Christmas, because it is acceptable to her parents. I wouldn’t be terribly upset about her getting drunk at a party, providing she does not drive or ride with someone who has been drinking. That being said, if she got picked up at the party and ticketed/punished, we’re not going to bitch about how unfair it is.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 8:29 am

      But that’s not what happened here. How would you feel if the school suspended your daughter because they heard she may have been drinking at a party over the summer?

      Perhaps you would be ok with that. I definitely would not.

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 8:48 am

      But they weren’t suspended from school, they were suspended from athletics. While that sucks, if the kids knew in advance that the athletic program had a zero tolerance policy, thems the brakes. I do agree that a full season suspension is harsh, but I know for my HS I got 5 weeks off as an athlete. I was practicing at the end of June for my next season, which means that while school was not in session, my actions could have impacted my ability to play. I played multiple sports, and my actions in one sport could have impacted my ability to play others.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:27 am

      So you’re ok with the school suspending your kid from athletics because they heard he or she might have been drinking at a party over the summer that you allowed them to go to?

      I played sports too. I know all about the agreements not to drink or do drugs. I would not have been ok with being suspended from a team because the school heard a rumor. That’s not ok.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:29 am

      Would you have been okay with being suspended if you were in fact drinking at a party over the summer after signing a contract saying you wouldn’t do so?

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:38 am

      Yes, I would. I would not be ok with being suspended because some random kid I went to school with said I was drinking at a party when I wasn’t.

      I don’t think most people would be ok with that.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:39 am

      Good! Because the police caught these suspended kids drinking at a party. So I think it’s pretty safe to say that the suspension is valid, by your terms. Don’t you think?

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:43 am

      Am I supposed to feel stupid because the writer of this article left out that information? LOL Because I don’t.

      Yes, then the suspensions are valid.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:43 am

      No! You should feel stupid because you didn’t bother reading the source link before deciding that the suspensions were based on rumors and refusing to listen to reason to the contrary.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:51 am

      I don’t feel stupid though. I admitted I was wrong. I wasn’t offensive to anyone. I asked questions and was happy to receive the information I asked for. Why are you so angry?

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 10:10 am

      I do give you credit for admitting you’re wrong. But I’m not going to give you a cookie for acting like the information that the cops were involved was some difficult-to-find tidbit, when it was linked in the original article and pointed out to you by several commenters well before you accepted that you were wrong. I’m also not going to give you credit for coming in here to decree that the suspension (and the article) were wrong without bothering to check on that piece of easily-accessed background information, and then pretending that you were just “asking questions” rather than making incorrect assertions. If you want to have a discussion, try starting out from a position of good faith.

      Oh, and I’m not angry – I’m contemptuous.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 10:14 am

      I don’t want a cookie. I accepted that information as soon as the very first person pointed it out to me. I asked several times if anyone knew if there was any sort of bust or proof.

      I’m not pretending anything. I was asking questions. I wanted to know if they had proof or were basing it on teenage rumor mill bullshit. I did start out from a position of good faith.

      You know, someone said on here the other day that you can’t even politely disagree without a bunch of people jumping down your throat. I thought that person was being an asshole. Now, I think they have a point. I don’t deserve the ass chewing I keep getting.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 10:22 am

      Politely misrepresenting the facts:

      “But that’s not what happened here. How would you feel if the school suspended your daughter because they heard she may have been drinking at a party over the summer?”

      Politely pretending that the students who were present at the party were suspended just for being there, not for being there after having signed a contract specifically stating they would not place themselves into such situations:

      “Now, if there are pictures of these kids on social media drinking or doing drugs, then I understand suspending those particular students. But the school is punishing students for going to a friend’s house outside of school hours?”

      Politely stating in your original comment (before we got “pissy”, as you stated, with you) that this decision is “bullshit” before knowing the full story (or trying to figure it out):

      “As someone who went to lots of parties in high school and didn’t drink, I think it’s bullshit for the school to punish everyone just for going to the party.”

      Politely deciding that the school is “grossly overstepping” and being “asinine” before making even a perfunctory attempt to be aware of the facts:

      “No, they’re grossly overstepping their authority. That’s asinine. Sorry, I’d fight this too. If I say it’s ok for my kid to go to a friend’s
      birthday party, I’m not ok with the school suspending him just for being there.”

      Politely changing your argument to pretend that this is only a news story because the kid are athletes and that they wouldn’t have been suspended if they were math-letes, despite the fact that this is a news story because the kids’ parents went to the media themselves to make a big stink.

      Then politely telling us we are “pissy” and “angry” and mean ass-chewers when we don’t let your misrepresentation of facts stand. Hooray!

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 10:28 am

      Are you having a bad day? I commented on the article as it was written. I don’t feel like I should have to do research to comment on mommyish articles. I even said if there was any proof of the drinking, the suspensions were valid.

      I don’t see how disagreeing with someone is being rude.

      I never said anything about athletes vs. mathletes or the parents going to the media. Are you attributing other quotes to me due to the Disqus glitch?

      I do feel like you’re being very pissy and angry towards me and chewing my ass for no good reason. We can disagree. Really, it’s ok. We can even talk about things and share new information. It doesn’t make either of us bad people.

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 10:30 am

      Hey, Kelly and irarelypostanything are the same person! Using sock puppets. Fuck you both!

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 10:34 am

      No, I’m really not. I post here all the time. We’ve talked before.

      This is getting out of hand. I hope you all have a great day.

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 10:51 am

      Man, screw Disqis.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 10:34 am

      Wait, what? How can you tell that without being a Disqus admin?

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 10:37 am

      Considering that they behave and act the same, and irarely posted on Kelly’s threads using the ass chewing comment, it seems pretty damned likely.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 2:40 pm

      I just read Kelly’s comment, and I don’t see how we’re talking about the same thing really, but since you already told me “screw you” I don’t have high hopes for entering a discussion on her topic or mine…

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 3:07 pm

      Ugh, it was a Disqus glitch and I assumed the worst.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 2:35 pm

      She really really isn’t. I don’t know why sometimes it says that 🙁

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      I’ve got it now. Disqus is stupid sometimes.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 10:43 am

      I apologize for thinking you had changed your argument – Disqus was indeed glitching, and I didn’t noticed. I’m honestly sorry about that!

      I don’t think you should have to do “research” to read Mommyish, but if you don’t want to make sure you at least have the available facts down (and as Véronique pointed out, the police info was in the Mommyish article as well as being mentioned in the source), it’s pretty combative to be starting out from a position of declaring that things are “asinine” and “bullshit”. Like, you keep saying that you were just asking questions, but your original post started out from the assumption that the school almost certainly didn’t have any proof and this whole shebang was based on rumor. If you don’t want to have the basic info going into a discussion, fine, but don’t act like no one else has it and that it’s impossible for you to have known it – or that your assumption that the suspensions were based on rumor is true by default, rather than just a “question” as you said down the line.

      I, and the other people disagreeing with you, disagree on Mommyish a lot. With each other, even! But I for one try not to disagree about something I don’t know anything about. You said you had been to some drinking parties without partaking when you were in high school, so maybe you’re associating this story with those experiences, but in this case the facts are that these kids broke their contract and got the expected consequences, and that’s that.

    • guest

      August 11, 2014 at 4:56 pm

      Yes exactly!! Why do we have to always research the damn articles on here?

    • Véronique the Attachment Shark

      August 11, 2014 at 10:28 am

      the author didn’t leave the info you. You just seemed to have not seen it.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 10:30 am

      I guess I just didn’t see it. My bad.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:40 am

      It’s not about the drinking. They are not allowed to be at a party where there is alcohol being served to minors. Just like, as a minor I was not allowed to be in the car with other minors and alcohol. Even if I didn’t know about the alcohol, I would have still been in trouble.

    • Smishsmash

      August 11, 2014 at 9:49 am

      If I displayed enough of a lack in judgement that I allowed my teen to go drink at a party that got so out if control that the police showed up to bust it up, I gotta say, yep, I’d be ok with the school doing this. Just because the parent willingly agrees to something unwise and illegal doesn’t mean we all shug, say “parental rights!” and go room. They broke the rules, they got punished. Case closed.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:49 am

      I don’t like the fact that you whole heartedly believe that a school wouldn’t do it’s due diligence when handing out disciplinary actions like this. The administrators don’t like punishing kids – especially when it’s going to affect things like school athletics. That’s no fun for anyone involved. But the fact remains that high schools have policies and procedures in place for things like this. They do not punish kids based on “rumor.” There is a lot of front end work that must be done before any disciplinary action on a level like this is handed down.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:53 am

      I whole heartedly believe it because I saw it happen in my own high school.

      There are plenty of bad schools out there so no, I don’t always give them the benefit of the doubt. My school was actually involved in a scandal where they tried to cover up a rape.

      That’s why I was asking questions. I don’t like to just slam all my support one way or another right out the gate.

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 9:54 am

      I am ok with that. It was part of my code of conduct. Several of my classmates were caught, they were suspended for the first x number of games per season. One football player in particular kept getting caught and was eventually released from the football team. The code of conduct stated they couldn’t be at a party with alcohol even if they weren’t drinking. Whether we agree with it or not, the students and parents signed it. Now, if they read it or not is another story. Yes its typical teenage stuff, they got caught and now they have to deal with it. I played sports in college for a year and it was the same policy, of course I drank anyway, but if I had gotten caught, I would have been suspended, I knew it, I took the chance. I just don’t feel bad for these parents or their kids.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 11, 2014 at 9:03 am

      What JenH said. Also, I am 100% OK with my kid being held accountable for a contract that they signed.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:09 am

      God forbid there are any consequences for these kids’ illegal actions….amirite?

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 11, 2014 at 9:10 am

      I know! THen they might learn that they don’t get to be entitled asshats.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:28 am

      You don’t care about proof? These kids weren’t caught. They came back later, after the fact, and handed out punishments based on rumors.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:29 am

      Where is the rumor part? I didn’t read that.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:37 am

      What else would you call an accusation with no proof?

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:38 am

      The cops broke up the party.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:42 am

      Information that really should have been included in this article.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:43 am

      Yeah, how terrible that you could have checked the source that was linked directly in the article before deciding that all of the evidence was mere rumor and refusing to be contradicted! That would have been crazy, right! Clearly everything is someone else’s fault!

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:45 am

      You can get as pissy as you like. I don’t feel bad about commenting on the information the author provided.

      Now the suspensions make sense.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:30 am

      None of the parents said they couldn’t prove their kids were there….just that they thought it was “unfair” and “too harsh a punishment.”

      They didn’t punish based on rumors.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:36 am

      The physical location of the kids is not the issue. The alcohol is the issue.

      Is there proof they were drinking? Because it sounds like rumors. Attending a birthday party should not warrant punishment.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:37 am

      The party was busted by the police.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:41 am

      It would have been nice if that information had been in this article. That changes my stance on it. They got what they deserve in that case.

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 9:37 am

      The original article.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:27 am

      The contract said they weren’t allowed to attend birthday parties?

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:29 am

      They are not allowed to attend parties where there is alcohol being served to minors. Full stop. It doesn’t matter if they don’t drink, there is a zero tolerance rule.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:40 am

      Was there any proof there was alcohol being served? Was the party busted? Did someone get a DUI or come home drunk after the party?

      I think there needs to be some kind of proof before you start punishing people. I know how rumors get thrown around in high school.

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 9:42 am

      Everyone is telling that the linked article said that the party was busted by the police.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:44 am

      There was a whole lot of back and forth before anyone tracked down that information and shared it. It really should have been mentioned in this article.

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 9:45 am

      God forbid you read additional webpages before making comments.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:50 am

      God forbid I admit that I was wrong because I didn’t have all the information and not have a bunch of people keep jumping on me.

      Is it really so horrible to discuss things and ask questions?

    • jmuns79

      August 11, 2014 at 11:56 am

      Dude. Stop disagreeing with the hivemind. If you disagree with the prevailing opinion in these threads, you are wrong, you are angry, you might be a troll, a sexist, an ignoramus or any number of other negative things. You admitted you were wrong but it’s not enough. You also shouldn’t be angry or have a negative tone even while several people are arguing with you. Put on your hair shirt and do some serious ass kissing, then you might be welcome back.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:46 am

      Actually, there wasn’t. I knew it was busted from the beginning. You kept insisting otherwise.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:49 am

      It’s lovely that you knew about the police bust from the beginning. Congratulations? I guess? I didn’t know that information until you shared it with me. We did go back and forth several times before you did so. I don’t know why you’d deny that. It’s in the comments for anyone to read.

      I can admit that the suspensions make sense now.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:47 am

      “tracked down that information” Yes, we all performed the stellar detective work of following the links provided in the original article!

    • Véronique the Attachment Shark

      August 11, 2014 at 10:27 am

      Kelly, no one had to track the info down, it was written in the blog post itself “The outraged parents also believe the punishment was too harsh for kids who were just “hanging out” at the party and willingly left when asked by police.” See? Asked by the police. Which meant that the police showed up.

      “There was alcohol at the party and no parents were present, he said.” – this comes from a parent. Again, I didn’t have to click links to track the info down, it was right there in Bethany’s post.

      Again, you’re angry because people pointed out that your reading comprehension could be improved upon, and you’re still trying to defend yourself saying we’re the “mean” ones.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 10:33 am

      I’m actually not angry. I’m not sure why you think that.

      I already admitted I was wrong. Do you want blood? I’m not going to take the bait and start calling people names but I’m getting the feeling that’s what some of you want. I’m not interesting in being entertainment for a mob today. You ladies have fun. I’ll take the hint and fuck off. 🙂

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:44 am

      First of all, here is a good example of an Athletic Code of Conduct: http://www.littletonpublicschools.net/LinkClick.aspx?fileticket=9yQIq8l-VFo%3d&tabid=4377 Please note how the athletes are not allowed to be drinking or in the vicinity of illegal activity like drug use or underage drinking. This covers all the athletes that were at the party – even the ones who were not drinking.

      Secondly, please read the article from the above post because it does spell out the fact that police busted the party, found alcohol, ticketed students, compiled a list of attendees (which is their policy with the school), and even some of the parents admit their children were drinking that night. The issue they have is not the factualness of the allegations – it’s the severity of the discipline. http://www.dailyherald.com/article/20140809/news/140808651/

      If you are going to argue, please have your facts straight.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:54 am

      Asking questions is arguing?

      Is it really so awful to have a discussion? Did I insult you somewhere inadvertently?

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:55 am

      Why are you so rude? We have all been telling you the same thing – that in the case of underage drinking and athletes, the rules are very clear. If you don’t like the rules, that’s your opinion, but until they are changed (not likely in cases like these) the students are subject to the discipline.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 9:58 am

      How exactly am I being rude? I actually agree with schools suspending athletes for underage drinking. My concern was whether or not they had proof or if they were basing it on rumors from other kids.

      I asked several times if anyone knew if there was a bust or DUI or something that would prove there was drinking at this party. Eventually, someone pointed out there was a bust so I agreed the suspensions were valid.

      How is that rude?

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 10:00 am

      Your comments in general have a sharp edge to them.

      Before the bust comment, I also stated to you that schools find out about these things in some form or fashion and then they do their due diligence in investigating the issue before handing out punishments. They don’t just jump on a rumor and punish people without going through the proper procedures.

    • Kelly

      August 11, 2014 at 10:04 am

      You’re attributing a tone to my comments that isn’t there.

      The whole reason I visit mommyish is to discuss things and have conversations. I haven’t insulted a single person on this thread. I haven’t even used any foul language. I’m just talking, or typing to be more specific.

      I’ve been polite. I don’t appreciate being told I’m rude because I initially disagreed until I had more information and because someone read something else into my comments. That’s not being rude. We can disagree without you accusing me of that.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 10:08 am

      It’s not just me that feels that way.

    • Véronique the Attachment Shark

      August 11, 2014 at 10:22 am

      I also perceived a written negative and aggressive “tone” to your writing, Kelly. Perhaps others did too? Had you only asked the questions, that would have been something. But you asked a series of questions followed by a statement that gave the tone to your questions. The fact that you said that there needs to be proof before accusations basically implied that there was no proof (which is what your questions were about). Does that make sense to you?

      The fact is that there was proof, you just misread the article.

    • K.

      August 11, 2014 at 11:32 am

      My parents did the “French style” thing and gave us alcohol with dinner since we were like, 10. However, they were also lawyers, so it was drilled into our heads that 1) if we were to engage in behaviors that got us into trouble, then too bad and 2) we were to never, ever, ever, do three things: drink and drive, allow our friends to drink and drive (or get in a car with them), or leave our friends alone if they were drunk.

      To me, this is the most important message to convey to your kids because it’s about protecting their lives. The second most important message to convey to your kids is that life-and-limb aside, their choices are their choices and any other fallout–expulsion, suspension, jail time, whatever, is their cross to bear. As a parent (and really, as a human being), I will do my best to defend my children’s lives. I’m not going to defend their general happiness, though. That’s their responsibility to figure out.

  4. Alexandra

    August 11, 2014 at 8:26 am

    Maybe the athletic program had a no drinking/drugs policy (anytime)? They weren’t suspended from school, just from the sports teams, the way I read this…

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 11, 2014 at 8:27 am

      Yes, that is what I got from it as well. Student athletes (at least at the school my daughter attends) have to sign contracts regarding behavior. I am guessing what is being enforced is their student athlete whatever you call it thing. (Very eloquent this morning, I know).

  5. Andy

    August 11, 2014 at 8:26 am

    While the special snowflake argument can be applied here (I used to live near the high school in question, and there are definitely some parents in the area who sincerely believe the sun rises and sets on their offspring), I do think it’s crazy for the school to try to punish students for going to a party when school isn’t in session. That’s crossing a line.

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 8:50 am

      I think that depends, my HS started football/soccer/volleyball/fall baseball practices at the end of June, basketball started in August, before school. That meant that anything I did after my first session impacted my ability to play, if I screwed around during soccer, I could lose my privilege of playing basketball and potentially softball in spring. So if the practices were in session, school being in session may not play a role.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 8:59 am

      Not if the kids signed a code of conduct for athletics.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 3:16 pm

      I live in the area as well, and most high schools are hosting football practices throughout the summer. School isn’t in session, but there’s a good chance the team was already practicing for the season.

  6. momjones

    August 11, 2014 at 8:54 am

    Standard athletic code contract. Doesn’t matter if school is in session or not. Student is part of a team (which means the student represents the school/district). Kids and parents sign the contract – they are aware of the consequences. The police were involved; they were caught. Has to be black and white. Furthermore, the parents of the kid hosting the party are liable, and I’d like to know what the fines/charges were for them. Doesn’t matter if they weren’t home…they’re screwed.

    • Bethany Ramos

      August 11, 2014 at 9:26 am

      PLUS – Students should get used to the fact that they represent a larger organization at all times, such as a job in the future.

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 9:48 am

      I would like to point out that as a legal adult (according to chronological age, actual maturity is debatable) if I have a drink and act like schmuck and the cops get called and my job finds out about it, I have work consequences up to and including being fired. So that is in no way an exaggeration, the sooner they learn their actions have consequences outside themselves, the better.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 10:09 am

      Exactly. My last job involved me driving a van for about five miles a day. I had to go through a stringent background check to be allowed to drive that thing, and even had to wait a week until an old ticket I had was out of their time frame. If I had gotten a traffic ticket or been arrested for a drug/alcohol offense even outside the job I would have lost my permission to drive the van, and then my job because that was a requirement. You can bet I was a better driver while I was employed there than I’ve ever been before.
      Actions have consequences. If you do not want to risk those consequences don’t perform the action.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 11, 2014 at 9:33 am

      Yep, none of this is new. These code of conduct policies haven’t changed. It’s not just that you don’t drink, you don’t attend these parties. And sure, lots of times I’m sure these kids have been drinking or at a party where there’s drinking, and haven’t been caught, but this time they were caught.
      When I was in HS we had a similar code of conduct. During preseason for fall sports, our AD got a DUI. It was in the paper so everyone knew. He went to each team and spoke with them about what he did, that it was stupid, and the school suspended him without pay for 2 weeks. After that, no one could really argue that the school wasn’t addressing the issue.

    • pixie Ninja Tits

      August 11, 2014 at 9:41 am

      Basically, this.

      Sucks when you’re a kid, but that’s why it’s important to read the forms you sign instead of just scribbling down your signature and handing it in. These types of policies are pretty standard across the board. It’s not just about not doing something illegal, it’s also about representing a certain institution and keeping their desired image.

    • momjones

      August 11, 2014 at 10:15 am

      Furthermore, at the school where I taught, the Athletic Director held Fall, Winter and Spring Sports meetings, and he discussed every single item on the contract, especially the alcohol/drug policy.

    • pixie Ninja Tits

      August 11, 2014 at 10:26 am

      That’s a really smart thing to do. I don’t ever remember anything like that when I played rugby for three years, but I know the code of conduct was reiterated in bold about a thousand times on the forms we had to sign. Our team didn’t travel more than a half hour or so to the away games at other schools, because we were a brand new team and the sport wasn’t that well established in the region yet, but I’m sure the teams that went to regionals and provincials got the whole spiel.

    • blh

      August 11, 2014 at 10:35 am

      I honestly can’t imagine why anyone would want to participate in sports if they’re going to try to tell you what to do when you’re not there.

    • momjones

      August 11, 2014 at 10:46 am

      Well, then you, or anyone else for that matter, doesn’t have to. If participating in a sport (or anything else for that matter…yes, I am being repetitive), means signing a contract which has specific rules, and you refuse to sign it, then I guess you chose to not participate.

    • K.

      August 11, 2014 at 11:14 am

      Okay, then you don’t have to participate in sports.

      That’s how that works.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 11:16 am

      That’s just you. Plenty of people think it’s worth it.
      And it is practice for later in life when you have things like a job. Your job does exert some level of control over life even when you’re not on the clock. You can’t take a cross-country road trip on the weekend because you know you have work Monday morning and you either won’t make it back on time or you’ll be exhausted and not functional, both of which are risks to you keeping the job.
      Or, in a more basic sense, even if you’re living where it’s legal most people can’t smoke pot on their own time. If they’re tested and fail a drug they’re fired, even if they never worked under the influence, because the job has a zero tolerance policy they agreed to when they accepted the position.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 1:41 pm

      They’re only telling you not to break the law, which is already illegal, School is supposed to prepare kids for real life. In real life, breaking a law while off-duty can and does get people fired from jobs every day.

    • K.

      August 11, 2014 at 11:47 am

      And please–if you’re a kid in an urban public school and you’re cited for drinking/doing drugs? You can be tried in court–and a lot of kids have been and have gone to jail for it.

      Getting suspended from playing football? Break out a tiny violin.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Yep! I was just thinking this – some of these kids could have been ARRESTED. FFS.

  7. Ellefont

    August 11, 2014 at 8:55 am

    Having seen the effect on an entire school when a student is killed by drunk driving, I think the school is doing everything in its power to keep students from drinking. As it should.

  8. CMJ

    August 11, 2014 at 8:59 am

    I wonder if those kids and their parents read their athletic code of conduct that they 99.5% had to sign?

    Oh wait.

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 9:12 am

      Nobody reads the Terms and Conditions of anything. It’s sad.

    • Jem

      August 11, 2014 at 1:38 pm

      But companies also employ people to purposely make the terms and conditions really hard to understand so most people give up reading them.

    • Ezzy666

      August 11, 2014 at 11:58 am

      Everybody knows that doesn’t apply to athletes

  9. minimama

    August 11, 2014 at 9:05 am

    I love how so many people are up in arms about these kids being punished for drinking during the “off season”. WTH, they aren’t being suspended from school they are being suspended from participating from the sport for which I am sure they signed a code of conduct contract that explicitly stated they would not attend events with drugs and alcohol. Think of it this way a pro sports professional is in his “off season” and visits Colorado and smokes weed legally in his “off season” he returns to his sport and begins practicing and is drug tested and fails. He pays a fine or sits out. Will you get all up in arms? No he knew he was subject to sanctions when he did it. In addition how does the coach determine who was just hanging out and who wasn’t in order not to punish those who were just hanging with their friends who were drinking.
    What these children did was illegal and frankly if all they are getting away with is suspension they are damn lucky because they could all be going to court for “minor in possession”. At some point we have to let our kids suffer the consequence even if we don’t agree with the laws.

    • K.

      August 11, 2014 at 11:43 am

      I know!

      And frankly, if these were MY kids, *I* would be the one suspending them from certain preferred activities anyway, including extracurriculuars.

  10. Aimee

    August 11, 2014 at 9:07 am

    In Wisconsin, kids under 21 can be served alcohol if they’re with a parent or legal guardian, which I think is a pretty smart rule – that way I’ll be able to teach my kids how to drink safely and moderately (an education I did not receive) at home and even in bars/restaurants. My explanation for them is going to be that drinking is like learning to drive – for a while, you can’t do it without having your parent with you to make sure you don’t do something stupid and kill yourself or someone else. If they choose to go to an unsupervised, out of control party and get hosed, they’ll have to deal with whatever consequences fall out of that, and I sure as hell won’t be appealing any sports suspensions!

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:11 am

      “Oh, you did something illegal and have to face the consequences? Let me call the school! They are being ridiculous!!!”

      Ugh.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:14 am

      “Sure, you broke the law and the athletic contract you signed – but not because you’re a bad person! Consequences should only matter for kids I don’t like!”

      Also did anyone else interpret the quote “My son was not involved in this particular episode and so our family is not personally affected by the disciplinary action …” to mean “My son wasn’t drinking THIS time but I’m worried his dumb ass is going to get caught some other time so we’re going to nip this whole ‘rules’ thing off at the bud.”

    • Spongeworthy

      August 11, 2014 at 9:28 am

      That was my take on it. “It’s only a matter of time before my kid gets caught, so let me see if I can do something about this now.”
      I can understand the kids thinking this was unfair and being upset about it. When you’re in high school, your sports teams are incredibly important to you. But the parents need to step in and remind them that there are consequences to their actions. And when you are involved in your school’s athletics, whether it’s at the high school or college level, you fall under that school’s code of conduct.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:31 am

      Seriously. The parents’ job is to explain how you make choices and you deal with the fallout – not to say “Oh honey! Let’s make sure you can have your cake and eat it too! Those people who want to apply the rules you agreed to are being SO MEAN!”

    • Spongeworthy

      August 11, 2014 at 9:58 am

      Yea. I get that it’s hard to see your kid upset, but these parents are doing their kids no favors by trying to get them out of a punishment that was clearly laid out as a consequence to their behavior.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      Yes, being “On your kid’s side” doesn’t mean not holding them accountable, it means loving them even when they fuck up, but still punishing them, not allowing them to grow to adulthood thinking they’re teflon. If you were really on their side, you’d want the lesson to be as rough as possible when the stakes are low, so that they don’t have to learn it as an adult when the stakes are much higher.

    • DuggarHairHater

      August 11, 2014 at 11:34 am

      I bet he’s mad because those punished are probably some of the better ones on his son’s team; thus, his season will likely not go that well.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      It’s almost like he’s more pissed his kid didn’t get invited to this party and wants it made clear he’s just a popular, and every bit a partier as these kids…

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 11:53 am

      I’m not sure I buy the “You have to teach your kids how to drink or they’ll go crazy when they leave home” argument. I drank for the first time in college, had no problem controlling myself. I don’t want my kids to drink. A HUGE part of the population doesn’t drink. I’m not going to teach them how. I’m going to teach them why not to, the legal consequences, and what to do it they find themselves in a situation in which they feel pressured or in the event they decide to drink anyway, but I’m not going to give them something I don’t want them to have. Not drinking is an option millions of Americans make. It’s not that unusual, I knew plenty of non-drinkers in college.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 12:09 pm

      You’re right, I didn’t mean to make it sound like no one can figure out how to safely on their own – but I do think it’s helpful, if possible, to have a good role model for drinking, and to see that it’s neither OMG the best time EVER!!!1 nor a horrible evil to be avoided at all costs. I’ll say that an education on safely drinking would have been a good thing for me, at least, to have had, since I definitely overdrank and made some dumb decisions early on in college. Plenty of kids obviously figure it out on their own every day – but lots of others don’t.

      I’ll also certainly also be teaching my kids the consequences of drinking unsafely, and instilling the expectation that they won’t drink if me or their dad isn’t around – but also the expectation that if they screw up they will call one of us to come get them and not drive home drunk. I guess I just don’t feel good about just telling my kids “why not to” drink, because their father and I both drink, and will be drinking in front of them, and I’m guessing my kids will both be smart enough to not believe that there’s a switch that flips when you hit 21 and makes you suddenly able to handle alcohol safely, haha.

      And of course I’m not going to give my five-year-old a vodka martini (that would mean fewer vodka martinis for me!!) but if my seventeen- or eighteen-year-old wants to join us in having a glass of wine with dinner, then that’s fine with me. Cultures that don’t make a big deal about alcohol or treat it like a forbidden fruit seem to have fewer problems with teenage binge drinking, and while I’m sure a parental education on the subject isn’t the only factor mitigating that, I do think it helps.

  11. irarelypostonanything

    August 11, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Aw yeah, let’s hold competitive sports on a crazy pedestal because that’s more important that intellect or even life experience! These kids are far more likely to encounter professional sports than alcohol in their everyday lives, so let’s prepare them for that. And because winning is literally everything, we’ll enforce crazy rules on their personal time. They’re just stupid kids anyway, why should they be allowed to make any decisions for themselves? Oh how i long for sarcasm font… I never hear stories of people being kicked off the debate team or math club for a similar indiscretion. Maybe because they’re more of a meritocracy? Or because they’re less military based in general? Yeah, parents can be too involved… But maybe that’s because they’re being treated like children still. It’s a really shitty social class to belong to, being a kid. As soon as you can speak up for yourself, you’re no longer speaking for the group. And given the insanity that surrounds competitive sports, that might be the only chance at university for some of these kids. Getting kicked out for the season could mean working at burger king (not that the degree will necessarily help). Tldr; sports are dumb.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:38 am

      All extra curricular activities have the same Code of Conduct.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 9:41 am

      I’ve just never heard of a giant chess club bust, and I doubt it’s because they didn’t get into shenanigans (speaking from experience)

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:45 am

      True. But that doesn’t mean they don’t happen or that the chess club doesn’t have a set of standards that they must adhere to.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 9:47 am

      That still doesn’t answer the question of why they don’t make the news.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 9:48 am

      Maybe their parents don’t complain?

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 9:50 am

      Because they’re raising more responsible kids, or because the stakes aren’t as high?

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:51 am

      It’s not about stakes – the chess club has high stakes to someone who is intimately involved in it.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 9:59 am

      Probably won’t make or break a college application though. It’s generally presumed that kids in academic extra curriculars have better grades. Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but you’re still not addressing the ridiculous weight given to sports.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 10:00 am

      Weight of what?

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 10:04 am

      Weight in life. If youyoureally need me to elaborate I can, but surely you can see we live in a world that favours brawn over brain, at least in termsterms of popularity?

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 10:08 am

      I can’t change the way the world works. But I can tell you that the sports programs at schools bring in a far greater amount of revenue to a school district or university than the band program. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but there it is. At the end of the day, all extra-curricular activities have Codes of Conduct that the students are forced to sign and adhere to. Beyond that, whether or not they get into trouble and are punished for it depends on a whole host of individual details. I would be willing to bet that if a Chess Club party got busted, the chess club players would not be easily identified by the police, whereas football players are much more ‘famous,’ especially in a small town. Perhaps that leads to the more frequent busts of those kinds of parties.

      I would like to point out that other extra-curriculars are not immune to the scrutiny that athletics programs face – look at reviews of Stanford’s band or the recent issues at Ohio State.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 10:13 am

      Yeah, you’ll certainly never change the world with that attitude. And pointing at one or two isolated incidents does not a trend make (I’m not telling you you need to show me a laundry list of examples, I’m sure they exist, but they will never outnumber the sports examples)

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 10:16 am

      I’m not sure what your point is…these students were athletes and they received the appropriate discipline. Are you saying that non-athletic clubs don’t receive the same treatment and that’s unfair? Maybe they don’t do the same things. Maybe they’re smarter about not getting in trouble. Maybe their parents don’t run to the media. Maybe they’re parties don’t garner the same attention. I don’t know. But I do know that schools have codes of conduct that apply to every extra curricular activity and deal with issues similarly.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 10:21 am

      I’m asking why, on a sociological level, we don’t follow academic clubs the way we do sports. Because they’re not sexy and exciting enough? Because it’s what ‘murica wants? It’s not about this story in particular, it’s about our society as a whole. We can hash out the particulars of each story all day if we want, but if we never stop to examine the trends, we never move forward as a society.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 10:22 am

      Okay.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 10:40 am

      Because that’s the way we are. We’ve been idolizing sports stars since there were sports. Maybe because the masses have an inherent distrust of those smarter than they are, maybe because we view intelligence as a trait you’re born with whereas view being a skilled athlete as something that took work and dedication. Perhaps because it’s just more entertaining to most people to watch something with a fair amount of action than it is to watch someone stand around and recite facts that don’t have much bearing on our everyday lives.

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 12:42 pm

      Because no one wants to watch 10 kids take a test, or debate politics or answer math questions. Our 10 person team in HS could hardly get parents to show up to the competitions because it’s not fun watching kids answer math questions. Maybe that’s because it’s not as easy for everyone to know if the answer is right/wrong, whereas it’s very easy to see if they made the shot or not. Like most things I think it comes down to the masses. The masses do not want to watch people play chess. The masses do want to watch people hit each other, sink shots and smack the crap out of a ball with a bat.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 2:47 pm

      But we watch jeopardy, and who wants to be a millionaire, etc. I wonder if it isn’t a case of correlation== causation. Did we really “need” the coliseum and it’s gladiators, or do we inspire bloodlust by feeding it?

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 3:07 pm

      But that’s competitive and there is something at stake. It’s high stakes to see someone almost win millions and then lose it.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 3:10 pm

      Surely there must be some way of injecting that excitement into school level? Watching a group of 4 year olds play soccer certainly isn’t high stakes, but it’s fun. I know it requires an adjustment in thinking, but it has more potential than maintaining the status quo.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 3:25 pm

      But it really is boring to watch kids recite facts without something but school honor at stake.
      I was on a Latin-based scholastic team, and if I wasn’t participating I didn’t want to watch because everything falls into one of two categories: shit I already know, and shit I don’t need to know. There’s no spectacular, unexpected moves, no debatable calls, no physical movement. It’s really not exciting, and the only way to make it so is add a high stakes element that schools can’t afford.
      Or add booze, because pub trivia nights are fun.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      I guess I watched too many Japanese game shows growing up, but even the “academic, non athletic” ones are entertaining and hilarious. But it’s a different culture, one that celebrates intellectual achievement. I think it’s possible to “jazz” up intellectual clubs, but it would require funding they’re not willing to give, and an overhaul that people aren’t prepared for. The ones who thrive under the current system of course don’t want to change it, but they are the minority I think.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      The problem is that schools really don’t have the budget to jazz anything up. Games usually cost money to attend, and the attendance numbers generate revenue. Not enough people are going to watch an academic bowl or a debate tournament to bring in the kind of revenue that would justify a big expense.

    • JessBakesCakes

      August 11, 2014 at 10:03 am

      The argument that sports kids are held to SUCH A HIGH STANDARD, LET IT GO is ridiculous. Around here, at least, I went to class with athletes who were allowed to show up late/hand in assignments late/etc simply because of the fact they were athletes. They were treated like gods. They were quite literally never punished in my school.

      These kids did something wrong, I think they should be punished. Is the punishment appropriate? Not my decision to make. But should they be punished? Absolutely. They knew what they were signing up for when they joined the team. That includes the rules and consequences of this type of behavior. If they can’t handle the consequences/punishment or the “weight” of sports, they shouldn’t be on the team.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 10:09 am

      I wholeheartedly agree that sports are given too much attention, that’s entirely my point. If being a jock was equivalent to being in an academic club, we wouldn’t even be hearing about this.

    • JessBakesCakes

      August 11, 2014 at 10:14 am

      There are plenty of other academic clubs that were given that sort of treatment for me, as well. At my school, it was the National Honor Society. If you were in NHS, you could do whatever you wanted. What I’m saying is, in response to your comments about unfair/blanket punishments, just because it isn’t publicized in the media doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. These kids weren’t unfairly punished. The rules and regulations of being on any team/club are clear and enforced when you join. Especially in sports. They knew what they were getting into. No matter if the party was in the offseason, during the season, etc.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 9:51 am

      And maybe “chess club booze bust” doesn’t flog papers like busting the football star does? I wouldn’t be surprised if some of the athletes are also participants in drama club, Science Olympiad, or whatever, too.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 10:07 am

      I would like very much if they had included that info, if it is indeed the case. You would think it would be included at the very least to downplay the “partying jock” stereotype.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 9:50 am

      Perhaps because the parents don’t complain about the discipline? This very same thing happened when I was in high school – big party, lots of suspensions…even the head cheerleader who wasn’t drinking! But the difference is – the parents didn’t make a big stink of it and made their children accept the punishment.

    • momjones

      August 11, 2014 at 9:51 am

      I’m going to use my experience of working with teenagers for 38 years to tell you that you have no idea.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 9:55 am

      You’re right, I have no idea what you mean, that sentence doesn’t make sense. Can you please finish your thought and elaborate?

    • momjones

      August 11, 2014 at 10:04 am

      OK, I’ll be more specific. Kids in the Chess Club, Model United Nations, the National Honor Society, Language Honor Societies, Amnesty International, the Environmental Club, the Drama Club, (insert any other name of club a school might sponsor), and all school sponsored sports and events, do get “busted” for breaking the contract they sign to be involved, or for breaking the school’s Honor Code (which most districts have now).

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 10:16 am

      So back to my original point… Why is this not news on the same level? Why is our entire society obsessed with sports? In the schools, in the media, etc. I understand WHY intellectually, but it doesn’t stop me from pointing out the insanity of it.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 10:17 am

      This would not have been a media issue if the parents had not complained to the media! Plenty of these things happen to athletic and non-athletic kids, but parents aren’t crying foul and running to the media.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 10:24 am

      Yeah, I think our fundamental “disagreement” is that you’re focusing on this particular incident and I’m looking at how it reflects our society as a whole.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 11:47 am

      Well, you know. The article is about this incident, so yes, that’s what I’m discussing.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      I felt my original post was fairly theory based, and I had hoped to enter in a conversation or debate based on theory. “I rarely post on anything” because I don’t feel the need to chatter about every little thing. I’m not knocking that, I just don’t care for it. So I choose instead to wait until I read something that says something about us as humans as a whole, and I hope to connect with like minded individuals, or interesting different opinions. I’m in no way inclined to argue about the particulars about this story or that because it’s too depressing, and I will never know enough about a story I’m not involved in to comment on it personally. I’m sorry if my intention was less clear.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 10:29 am

      Why is it not news? Probably because these things only ever become news when someone pitches a fit about it. When a student and their parents accept the punishment given and leave it at that it’s hardly news.
      For example, I was the president of an environmental club in school. One weekend about half our members went camping together. Pot was involved, and they got caught. After that our club was down to half the size, and no one thought it unjust.
      The same year a football player got caught for the second time at underage drinking party. He was kicked off the team. His parents threw a fit, going to every board and town council meeting for months trying to reverse the “injustice”.
      One of these incidents involved nothing more than the police blotter. One got local media attention. Why do you think the football player got attention when, arguably, ten kids getting kicked out of their club was the more scandalous story?
      This particular case is because a father, who had no real reason to be fighting it btw, encouraged the parents to make a big deal about it.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 10:39 am

      Okay, so to extrapolate on a larger scale (obviously, we’ll have exceptions), athletic parents are more willing to interfere in their kids lives… So WHY is this? Are they worse parents for being too involved, or better parents for being involved at all? Do they force their kids into sports while the other clubs are inherently more voluntary? I think we can agree there are some fierce academic tiger moms, but are their kids better behaved? If they are, does that make them better parents? If parents take a Darwinian approach and let their kids sink or swim, are they doing better? Are these parents the reason schools need such strict blanket policies?

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 11:00 am

      Parents do tend to push their children to sports, whereas clubs like ours were viewed as more a choice you make. I’m not viewed as letting down a whole group of people if I’m kicked out of the environmental club, it’s just viewed as me being an individual idiot and my actions won’t harm my group the way losing the quarterback of a football team would.
      We’re told, from very young ages, that sports are a good way to learn about teamwork and thinking for the group over yourself. You don’t have many organized activities for young children other than sports to teach these values. So we put our children in organized sports. Most young children, I’d be willing to bet, would much rather just kick a ball around with friends than spend hours learning how to “properly” do that. It’s not about the athleticism, it’s about the teamwork at that age, go watch the cluster fuck that is a game of soccer populated by four year olds for that.
      I get why parents push their kids to play sports. Besides the teamwork and following directions thing which will help later when they want a job, it’s also a way for kids to exercise and stay in shape, and even though few people would admit it out loud, no one wants kid to be the fat kid. Yes, the environmental club might be preserving a wetland which will have a more lasting impact than most of the players on the football team who will never wear a uniform again after graduation, but there’s pretty strong evidence people give exactly zero fucks about the environment, whereas sports are much better at fostering a sense of community and competition.
      In my original example it boils down to “hippie kids got caught smoking pot. Nothing to see here”.

    • momjones

      August 11, 2014 at 10:38 am

      I’m sure if the kids were in the National Honor Society (which usually has 50+ members) were caught drinking and their parents complained the same way these parents did, (because being kicked out of the club could affect their college plans/applications), it would make local or national news. True, communities get more recognition and revenue because of high school sports; it’s an American obsession. The school where I taught was always known for academic excellence, but after winning five State basketball championships and two volleyball championships, they are now known as an athletic powerhouse. I still would prefer that the school be known as a place where solid academics and sports go hand in hand.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 11:47 am

      I find that NHS kids usually have problems with cheating scandals more than drinking or drugs.

    • momjones

      August 11, 2014 at 12:00 pm

      I agree, and the parents are just as bad as the parents of athletes. Worst job ever: being a member of the faculty team that screens NHS applicants.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 12:31 pm

      Oh yes! Even in middle school we had a parent go crazy because his son wasn’t accepted. He had the grades but all of the teacher reports on conduct and behavior came back terrible. I think it gets worse in high school because there is so much pressure to get that tenth of a point advantage – it’s as competitive as jockeying for the starting QB spot.

    • AP

      August 11, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      Model UN at my school was the biggest offender, because they got to go on poorly supervised overnight “conferences.”

      Parents of freshman often called the school asking if it was safe for their child to attend. The school lied rather than admit it had a problem.

    • FishQueen

      August 11, 2014 at 2:12 pm

      Our women’s choir and marching band and drama club had a drug problem, and the debate team had a cheating scandal. Granted, the athletes were worse, but I agree that it’s naive to think that the non-athletes were by definition cherubic.

    • Aimee

      August 11, 2014 at 10:14 am

      For the record, I like your finished and utterly clear thought just fine, momjones.

    • momjones

      August 11, 2014 at 9:49 am

      It’s about liability. Your teen can go to a birthday part at his friend’s house. If his parent’s serve your child liquor, those parents are responsible for anything that happens to him. If the kid, for example, dies in an accident as a result of drinking, I, as the parent, can and WOULD sue the shit out the parents who gave him the drink. The same is true for school sponsored events, whether it is sports, or any extra-curricular club or event. For example, if a kid came to prom drunk, and we didn’t “catch” him, and that kid left and got in an accident, believe it or not, the school is liable because prom is a school sponsored event. Bottom line, besides the fact that yes, educators do care about kids, is that the District is liable. You can do whatever you want when it comes to teaching your child about drinking. But if it involves my kid? Or if it involves kids in a school district? There are laws and rules.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 9:53 am

      A private party not during school time or anywhere near school property or school sanctioned events isn’t about liability. It’s about blanket policies that are inconsistently enforced.

    • K.

      August 11, 2014 at 11:09 am

      And they–the parents–don’t even have to be there physically to serve the kid alcohol. It just has to be their private property on which alcohol was present.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 11:19 am

      Because there’s the assumption you know what’s happening on your own property and with your kids.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 11:47 am

      It’s easier, legally to regulate only kids who participate in extra-curriculars, because they are optional. Many states school drug policies only applicable to athletes, etc. too, because they can’t require you by law to attend school and then require you to subject yourself to a warrantless search (drug test) but you’re not required to participate in activities, so they can regulate that.

    • AP

      August 11, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      Usually, there’s a self-selection bias too, in the sense that the school’s most flagrant drug-and-alcohol users tend to eschew extracurricular activities. Burnouts-and-dirtbags usually have joints to smoke and antifreeze to huff at the time French Club is meeting in room 204.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 1:34 pm

      Yes, I agree, it does seem to exclude the “bad kids” who usually don’t participate, but it’s all that’s been upheld by the courts.

    • Ezzy666

      August 11, 2014 at 11:51 am

      eons ago when I was in high school coaches and parents were complaining about how unfair it was for athletes to actually have to complete their assignments and pass the exams. Getting kicked off the team for bad grades or even giving them bad grades could ruin their chances for playing sports in college and their chances at being a pro

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 12:06 pm

      Could it be they’re smarter? Have better self-discipline and understanding of long-term consequences? Lack the locker-room culture? Also, if losing a sports scholarship means you can’t go to college, perhaps you weren’t college material.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      Could be a combination of all of the above, and more really. I hesitate to jump right to they’re smarter because intelligence comes in so many forms. But you would think athletes understand the benefit of self discipline. I wonder if the fleeting nature of health contributes to a carpe diem attitude. If so, how can athletes and academics be better prepared to enter the real world? If sports promote teamwork, how can the locker room culture be turned in favour of a longer term view?

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 3:44 pm

      I also wonder whether some highs school cultures see high school sports at the high point of your life, particularly if you’re not college-bound, so these particular athletes may be more likely to take risks.

    • irarelypostonanything

      August 11, 2014 at 3:46 pm

      Certainly. It seems like that’s a self esteem issue that needs to be addressed, in addition to the glaring cultural implications. No one should be 18, getting out of school and thinking their life is over. And yet for some it sadly is.

  12. Boozy Shark Lee

    August 11, 2014 at 9:37 am

    It really doesn’t surprise me that these parents are acting this way coming from that school. My mom works near that high school and it is a pretty snotty, affluent area.

  13. LadyClodia the Modest Rat

    August 11, 2014 at 9:58 am

    We went to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl with marching band when I was in 9th grade, and I remember that there were quite a few kids that got suspended for drinking when we got back. Some of them were even 18, which at the time was the drinking age there, but it was 21 at home, and that along with the school rules applied. I don’t think any of the parents threw a fit about the suspensions, or at least I didn’t hear about it if they did. If you break a rule, you have live with the consequences.
    We’ll probably be pretty relaxed about alcohol to an extent with our own kids. There was a very relaxed attitude about alcohol where my husband grew up in Holland, and he used to help serving beer at the community center parties when he was 14. Although, we’ll make sure to talk about the consequences of drinking.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 10:36 pm

      Different altogether, you were travelling as school reps. Not on your own time.

  14. Shelly Lloyd

    August 11, 2014 at 10:12 am

    What gets me is that this isn’t even their special snowflake child. They are standing up for some other person’s special snowflake….I can’t even.

  15. DuggarHairHater

    August 11, 2014 at 10:14 am

    I agree the parents shouldn’t complain that the students broke a contract they agreed to follow. I do think they should advocate for the contract to be revised.

    I wish schools would change this zero tolerance policy approach. It reminds me of abstinence only education. A lot of kids drink underage. Rather than punish them, encourage responsible drinking, emphasize how it negatively affects athletic performance, etc. I’d rather see these kids talking with parents of a child who died from alcohol poisoning or a person incarcerated for killing someone while driving drunk. They should also have to do community service, or something along those lines if they are caught. But taking away extracurricular activities from kids who got in trouble for drinking seems counter intuitive, it only frees up their schedules for more drinking.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 11, 2014 at 10:23 am

      When it concerns drinking, schools have their hands tied somewhat. Drinking underage is illegal, so the school has to come down with a zero tolerance policy. They can’t really have a policy on the books that in any way allows/encourages illegal behavior, even in a responsible way.

    • DuggarHairHater

      August 11, 2014 at 10:39 am

      Agree to disagree here…the point of the contract isn’t to enforce the law. It’s to set standards for participants. Enforcing the law should be left up to the courts. A new policy could be written to say that if someone gets a drinking citation from a police officer, they are required to take a alcohol awareness class or complete community service, ather than be kicked off a team. The school CAN encourage and educate kids about drinking responsibly when they are 21.

    • Spongeworthy

      August 11, 2014 at 11:16 am

      No, I agree that there should be conversations way before 21 that talk about responsible drinking and being safe. I know lots of schools have assemblies about drinking and driving, etc, especially around prom time.
      But I think that these codes of conduct do set standards for the participants, one of which is to follow laws. And a lot of times, when someone is busted by the cops for underage drinking, they’re required by the courts to take classes/ do community service. And I think that the schools do have a “sliding scale” as far as punishment, since not all if the kids here were kicked off for the whole season.
      It would be great to be able to have more nuanced discussions with kids, instead of just “don’t drink”. I definitely plan to have a lot of discussion with my kid about it other than “don’t do it.” I just think it’s tougher for schools to have that type of nuance because they can’t make it seem like they’re condoning illegal behavior.

    • DuggarHairHater

      August 11, 2014 at 11:24 am

      I totally agree they are trying to set standards, and the law is the law. But arresting someone who is 20 years 11 months and 30 days for the same thing that a person who is celebrating their 21st birthday can do without question, is just silly to me. That’s why these types of contracts are so contentious, in my opinion. They emphasize how ridiculous our laws are with regards to alcohol. We could learn a thing or two from European countries…

    • Spongeworthy

      August 11, 2014 at 11:28 am

      I’m with you there! It’s crazy to me that someone in the US can vote, serve in the military, sign a contract, and be charged as an adult for a crime, all before they can legally drink a beer.

  16. Katherine Handcock

    August 11, 2014 at 10:18 am

    While I don’t know that I agree with year-round code of conduct contracts – if you signed it, you signed it. I disagree for a variety of reasons, including the fact that I don’t think it does anything to prevent underage drinking and instead forces it “underground” where there’s a lot more potential for things to go really badly wrong, but if your school has a code of conduct that includes staying dry, there’s no way you don’t know that. Change the rule by taking it the the principal, school board, etc., but if you defy the code of conduct and get caught, take your lumps.

    However, I will say that I can totally believe there were kids at the party but not drinking. My high school didn’t have any round-the-clock codes of conduct for athletes – that still seems to be fairly rare in Canada – but many of the athletes did not drink anyway, because they were aware of how it affected their athletic performance. They would go to parties with their friends who were drinking, and in fact, they were often the people making sure nobody wandered off to the lake, drove home drunk, went into a room with someone when they weren’t capable of consent, etc. When you punish kids who were at a party serving alcohol, even though they weren’t drinking themselves, you undermine that kind of effort on the part of the non-drinking kids.

  17. Obladi Oblada

    August 11, 2014 at 10:22 am

    School athletes are held to a higher standard than non athletes. Period. End of discussion. I make it very clear to my players at the beginning and throughout the year that they represent the school and should behave as such. Not following the guidelines set forth by the contract will result in suspension or expulsion from the team. They all know this going into it and understand what’s expected of them. I had to suspend a player last season for her grades. She pulled them up and voila! Back on the field.
    Follow the rules and you don’t have a problem. Don’t follow them (repeatedly) and you won’t be playing for me for long.

    • FishQueen

      August 11, 2014 at 2:01 pm

      Good on you for holding them to that! In my school and really, the whole district, they told the athletes almost verbatim the same thing, but there was a whole lot of grade fudging and “well, your eyes are bloodshot and you just told me the answer to this math problem is cat, but I don’t think we need to worry about drugs- after all, you’re AN ATHLETE”. I’m glad to see both in the OP and the comments that there are places where participants in sports don’t get away with things they agreed not to do because of their physical talent.

    • Obladi Oblada

      August 11, 2014 at 2:14 pm

      I’m in middle school so it’s a bit more lenient than high school but ultimately the decision is mine. I raise my own kids to take responsibility for their actions and I coach my team the same way. That’s the way the world works. You screwed up? Make it right. Done.
      Thankfully, my team’s parents have been really good about the new coach taking this sort of stance. So far, so good.
      Thank you. 🙂

  18. blh

    August 11, 2014 at 10:33 am

    I don’t think what a kid does when they’re not in school is any of the school’s business, for real. Not that I think teenagers drinking is particularly ok, if it was my child he’d certainly get in trouble but it’s for the parents to deal with, not school.
    And realistically, kids are going to drink at some point. The school needs to realize that. Are they going to suspend all the kids there because most of them have probably drank.

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 10:34 am

      Didn’t you say that you were going to leave?

    • rockmonster

      August 11, 2014 at 10:54 am

      Sorry, Disqus has glitches out the wazoo.

    • Ezzy666

      August 11, 2014 at 11:35 am

      I thought all high school athletes had a to sign a contract that covered alcohol and off school events. When I was in high school there were consequences even if you were there and were not drinking.

    • Lindsey

      August 11, 2014 at 11:51 am

      What about the kids who aren’t on athletic teams? Is there no consequence at school for them?

    • Ezzy666

      August 11, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Why would there be? They did’t sign a contract.

    • Lindsey

      August 11, 2014 at 12:07 pm

      I guess I meant to say about kids in other extracurriculars or students who hadn’t yet joined the sports teams. Additionally, what about students who are no longer on a sports team (i.e. stopped doing volleyball because it interfered with some other extracurricular where they actually participated)?

      Our school had a similar policy and it seems to me that it simply leads to students being more and more careful not to get caught.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      All extracurricular activities have a Code of Conduct that they must sign.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 11:45 am

      Kids who commit crimes off school property are subject to action by the school.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 10:30 pm

      It is a weak assed population that gives over that kind of authority to anyone.

  19. K.

    August 11, 2014 at 10:55 am

    You know what, Mr. and Mrs. Kane?

    Your kids are old enough to make their own decisions and to make mistakes. In fact, it’s a pretty simple concept: you participate in X behavior, then Y is going to happen.

    Too. The. Fuck. Bad.

  20. brebay

    August 11, 2014 at 11:44 am

    “Out-of-touch with reality?” The reality is, your child broke the law. The fact that a lot of people do it is irrelevant. A lot of people speed too, that doesn’t mean it should be legal to drive as fast as you like, or that we shouldn’t cite speeders. The other reality is that you raised a brat who is now bigger than you, and it’s easier to say “it’s normal” than to admit you fucked it up so badly that there’s no hope.

  21. brebay

    August 11, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    I do wonder about the “contract” aspect of this though, since a minor can’t enter into a contract. Is it the parent who signs and agrees that their child will face these consequences?”

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 12:24 pm

      Usually the contract is signed by both the parent and child.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 1:32 pm

      Yes, but a child can’t contract, regardless of who else does. So then it’s basically a contract between the parent and the school, and the parent agrees that the consequence for breach is visited on the child, which is fine with me, but it is not a contract between the student and the school.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 3:13 pm

      That’s why it’s usually called an “honor code”. Break a rule, suffer a consequence.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 3:42 pm

      Just because you call it another name doesn’t make it not a contract.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      It’s not a legally enforceable thing. That would imply you have some form of right to play on the team. Often nothing is even physically signed, the rules are laid out on day one of practice, and you’re told “follow these or you risk being suspended or kicked off the team”. When I was in high school sports the only thing that was signed was our physical saying we could physically participate, and a parental waiver so my parents didn’t sue if I hit my head on the bottom of the pool or something. The first day we were sat down and the coach went over the honor code word for word, and told us if it would be a problem we could walk right out.
      It is a set of rules, and by joining you agree to abide by those rules. We hold minors to rules all the time. If I have a fourteen year old boy running around the pool deck and pulling down girl’s bikini tops, he’s going to be kicked out because he broke the rules, the fact that he’s a minor be damned. If I own a store and I catch a ten year old stealing I can kick him out for violating the rules.
      The school has the right to impose rules on their players, because they are playing as representatives of the school and on school property. Playing football is voluntary. You are not forced to join the team. Your presence on the field is your acceptance to abide by the rules set forward. Break those rules, and you suffer the consequences, as does the pool kid and the shoplifter.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      Actually, those are against the law. And they’re both old enough to be charged as juveniles!

  22. Warren Pacholzuk

    August 11, 2014 at 12:10 pm

    Wow, you know for a country that prides itself on rights and freedoms, you sure do like letting others boss you around and dictate how you live.
    Why in the hell would anyone give a school board the right to do anything, when it is off school grounds, not on school time? “In effect even when school is not in session.”? That is a load of manure.

    • CMJ

      August 11, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      Bro, that is the way schools work. Always has been…they aren’t a democracy. If you don’t like it, home school your kids.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 12:17 pm

      Not here Bro. Schools have zero control outside of school grounds and hours. When on trips, and actually representing the school, yes, but not on their OWN time.
      Man oh man you americans love to be controlled.

    • momjones

      August 11, 2014 at 12:36 pm

      That’s why you sing “O Canada” and I sing “The Star Spangled Banner” Warren. Bless you heart.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 12:41 pm

      So, you like having the state dictate your life 24/7?

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      There is a simple solution to not ‘having the state dictate your life 24/7’ – if the kids don’t want to abide by the rules, they don’t have to play. It’s a concept that is enforced many places throughout the world, not just in the United States.

    • JenH1986

      August 11, 2014 at 12:48 pm

      Which is where that whole “freedom” thing comes in. We always have freedom to make choices, we are not free from the consequences of those choices.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 12:50 pm

      That part gets forgotten quite a bit.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 1:09 pm

      So you have no problem with state sponsored extortion?
      Such weak willed people.
      I have no problem with code of conduct, but not on someone’s own time.
      Land of the Free……Bullshit.
      Home of the Brave…….Bullshit.
      Land of the Controlled and Home of the Weak.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 1:46 pm

      Good thing you don’t live here….among other reasons, I suppose.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      You could not pay me enough to live where the state is so controlling and its citizens are so willing to have their lives controlled in such manners.
      You all are headed for a grim future. I really do feel sorry for you if you do not have the integrity to stand up for yourselves.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 3:43 pm

      Good. The farther away you are, the better.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 1:31 pm

      You’re not required by law to have your kids in public school.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 2:49 pm

      That is the weakest arguement yet.
      Is america full of wimps? Why do you let your school boards contol your lives? Wow, you actually are comfortable with the state telling you what you can and cannot do on your own time?

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 3:46 pm

      They’re not telling you what to do. They’re telling you that committing a crime off campus will have consequences on-campus. Athletes represent the school, and they can choose not to be represented by students who commit criminal acts. Just like most employers.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Then you are working for the wrong employers. We are talking about teens drinking at a party, not felony manslaughter. Big difference.
      I have no problem with them being punished.
      I have a big problem with a population allowing contracts like this to exist in the first place.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 4:33 pm

      Not much difference, drunk teens kill people every day. Point is, it’s a law. There are consequences outside the legal system for breaking laws.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 6:08 pm

      Only if you work for somone so hardnosed and judgemental like you.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 11, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      Typically it isn’t the school board’s policy but instead dictated from the state wide governing body of all extra-curricular activities.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 11, 2014 at 1:24 pm

      It’s not about lack of freedom. It’s about contractual terms. You break the terms, there are consequences.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 2:46 pm

      That is what I am getting at. How weak do you need to be to allow contracts like this to exist in the first place?
      To allow your school board to enter into your personal life is bull. Why do you think it is okay for a school board to dictate what you can and cannot do in your personal life.
      And don’t give me any bs about preparing you for work. Getting popped for partying on your own time is not grounds for dismissal.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 3:12 pm

      No one is forcing these kids to play.
      You’re a businessman. Do you have your employees sign contracts when they take a job? What do you do if they violate the terms of that contract?

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 3:48 pm

      Nothing they sign applies to their personal time. What they do on their own time is their own business.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 3:48 pm

      So you’re comfortable having a thief or a child molester working for you…

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 4:10 pm

      Really, you are comparing a teenage party to child molesting? Now you are just being insane. And yes I have hired guys with records.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 4:31 pm

      “What they do on their own time is their own business.” That’s all you. The point is, schools, businesses, clubs, etc. CAN fire, dismiss, expel you for breaking any law.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 6:02 pm

      No they cannot fire for breaking any law. Nice try, but oh so very wrong. Untill you have been in the position to hire and fire, don’t spew crap you do not know anything about. And that statement shows you do not know anything about it.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 8:50 pm

      In. The. U.S. Most (non-government) jobs are at-will so yea, yes they can.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 10:21 pm

      Go for it. Fire someone for getting busted for public intoxiction, on their own time. They will own your ass for wrongful dissmissal.
      And if by some slim chance you are right…..no wonder the US is so fucked up.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 4:32 pm

      If I believed you actually owned a business, I would definitely believe you’d hire cons.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 6:06 pm

      Actually, none here at the moment. But before I was on my own, I hired cons. Only people like you are judgemental enough to dismiss them.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 6:06 pm

      But he fired a girl peanut allergy. Hangs around with good ‘uns doesn’t he?

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 4:19 pm

      First, they’re already practicing 5-6 days a week, so it’s not like it’s off season.
      And second, if something they did on their own time was against your contact and detrimental to your business, would you just let it go? For example, if an employee let it be known he was willing to undercut the price of the work you perform in your shop by 20% if they come to him on their off-time, you’d be totally cool with it because it’s their time? Or if an employee showed up hungover and sick, that’s okay by you even though it could impair their ability to do the work cuz, hey, they did the drinking on their own time? What if one of your employees damaged a car, and in a resulting lawsuit it comes out they smoke marijuana on their time, though they never come in high. Is that okay?
      It’s an honor code these kids agreed to. When you do certain things you agree to abide by the rules. Go to a public pool and won’t stop running on the deck- you’re gonna get kicked out. Shop a store and start cutting open watermelons to find the one with the least amount of seeds- you’re going to get kicked out. Go to a movie and talk loudly in the back- you’re going to get kicked out. Same thing here. The rule is if you’re caught at a party where there’s underage drinking you’re going to get kicked off the team.
      Playing football is not a right. You do not have a constitutionally protected right to be on a team despite your behavior. You have the right to make the choice to join, and that choice is made with the honor code in plain sight.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 5:48 pm

      Let’s take them in order.
      The employee undercutting my pricing…..it would be theft, as they would be using my trucks, fuel, equipment and customers. First time is a suspension, second termination.
      The hungover employee? Never met a tireguy that couldn’t muscle through a hangover. Been there done that myself. Hangovers are no reason to terminate.
      The smoking dope on their own time, is none of my business. Like you said on company time he is not under the influence.
      I have no problem with them facing what they are facing. I do have a problem with a school board having the authority to dictate someone conduct of school time, off school property. Those contracts should not be allowed in the first place.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 11, 2014 at 6:13 pm

      You’d keep a thief on staff?
      What if he didn’t use your equipment? He had his own stuff and he was telling people around town he’d undercut your prices. You’d be totally cool with an employee poaching your business as long as he used none of your equipment, didn’t discuss it on your property, and did the work on his time? I want to work for you, Warren, I could essentially be in business for myself while also getting paid by you.
      And that doesn’t change the fact that the honor code is a set of rules all athletes at a school are expected to follow. Break a rule, suffer a consequence.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 10:17 pm

      You are a piece of work. Of course there are reasons to fire someone, but you are comparing apples to rotten oranges. Theft is theft, be it money or clients. That being said, if you treat them well enough, which we do, they do not pull stunts like that.
      A direct comparison would be, if they got busted for having a loud party on their own time, and got a public intoxication charge. And no, that would not be a reason to fire them.
      I never said these guys shouldn’t face what they did, because they signed the contract.
      What I have been saying is that you americans are weak assed wimps for allowing these contracts to exist. No way in hell would we allow our schools to have say over our kids, on our time. We are the parents not them.
      You want to live under the state’s rule go for it.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 12, 2014 at 1:03 am

      Freedom does not mean free from consequence. I have a hard time believing that Canadian schools don’t give a fuck what their athletes are doing.
      I am very free. I am free to join a sports team, or free to say “fuck it, I don’t do six AM practices” or “fuck it, I like drinking on weekends and I’d rather not work hard at something that I could lose over that”. I am free to drink when I want, though, like Canada, there are laws I obey when doing so, or I face consequences if caught. I am free to take the risk breaking those laws. And we’re not even talking about laws. We’re talking about an activity these kids voluntarily joined.
      So, please, tell me how Canada is a rule free utopia where no athlete gets punished for their behavior.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 9:20 am

      A high school athlete is not under the school’s rule when not on school time or property. The school has no authority over their private lives.
      Laws are laws, but the school board is not a law enforcement agency.
      You still did not answer the question? Why would anyone allow the school to have authority over their kids, when they are not on school time or property? Why do americans constantly hand over their parental rights and authority to the state? Because you are either lazy, or weak.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 12, 2014 at 1:31 am

      It took me all of five minutes to find that rule 8, section D of the Ontario Schools Athletic Code of Conduct is the EXACT SAME RULE the athletes in the article were suspended over, namely no athlete may be present at a party where there is underage drinking, and being there is enough to violate the terms and warrant punishment.
      Apparently your country is just as big of “weak assed wimps”.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 9:22 am

      You can google it all you want. They were fought, and are no longer signed or used. Nice try though.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 12, 2014 at 10:27 am

      “Updated August 2014”. Nice try. It’s current, on the school website.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      Listen, and listen well. Contracts are not signed, period. And as said, the code is on school time, grounds and when representing the school off grounds. Not personal time. So keep banging your head against the wall. Next.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 9:26 am

      Sorry, you are talking about the general codes, that specifically state they are held to this code, when representing the school. There is nothing in there giving them authority when not on school time or property. Again nice try.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 12, 2014 at 10:24 am

      Oh, so schools up there routinely hold on-campus underage drinking parties? Because it seems like, unless that’s true, that very rule is governing off-campus behavior.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      Give your head a shake. It is worded so to cover school trips, sneaking booze into school dances and when students are representing the school. Next.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 12, 2014 at 10:47 am

      And, reading further into the athletic code, the one currently posted on the schools website, which makes mention that all those participating in athletics must adhere to, it says offenses can be both in season and out of season, with out of season encompassing “from the end of the season to the beginning, INCLUDING SUMMER VACATION”, where students aren’t on campus and school is not in session. A first offense gets the player suspended for 30% of the season.
      I’m sorry your country is just as weak.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 12, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      And every time they have tried to enforce it they failed. School codes can not contradict law and rights. They also cannot override provincial codes. That is why some schools get in shit, for pushing things. Some parents just accept it, while others call them on it.
      I have done battle with school’s over everything from vaccinations, to medications, to food, to athletics, and have yet to lose a single battle.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 13, 2014 at 2:35 pm

      So far every claim you’ve made I’ve found evidence is false. I’ve been able to back up my claims with fact. Time for you to start doing your own research.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 13, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      Having put three kids through school, having them in athletics, drama and other clubs. Having done battle with the schools over things they feel they can control, and having won each and every battle. That is all the research I need.
      We are the parents, and school policy does not overrule that.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 13, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      So your kids didn’t have an issue with it, so no kid in the country has despite the proof I’ve given you.
      Makes sense.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 14, 2014 at 4:06 pm

      By the way, are you implying your kids did get into trouble at school, and you argued them into submission?
      Nice parenting. “My special snowflake is my responsibility. You just need educate them and let them play on your team despite the rules everyone else agreed to.”

    • keelhaulrose

      August 13, 2014 at 3:00 pm

      Four Canadian college athletes suspended for tweets.
      found in five minutes on my mobile phone while sitting at a campground with one bar of reception.
      http://www.cbc.ca/m/touch/canada/nova-scotia/story/1.2513251

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 13, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      All stemming from an event that occured on campus during frosh week. Thanks for proving my point.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 14, 2014 at 3:20 pm

      Freedom of speech not big in Canada, then?
      Weak assed wimps.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 13, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      And I don’t know about you, but in University you are an adult.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 14, 2014 at 3:15 pm

      As I said, five minutes on a mobile phone. Apparently you don’t they lost their freedom of speech, then.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 14, 2014 at 5:53 pm

      They were on campus. Their texting was an extention of the on campus incident. So the school is within it’s rights.
      Had it happened off campus, at a non school related event, then yes I would be against it. Nice try. Next.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 14, 2014 at 8:06 pm

      St Thomas university suspended their whole rugby team for hosting an off-campus party where underage members drank. A freaking university, where many of the members of the team were of age. Nope, whole team forfeited a game and they had to justify finishing their season.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 15, 2014 at 1:24 am

      Again, the whole team, as a team. Representing the school. Next.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 15, 2014 at 9:05 am

      Off campus, not acting as a team.
      Seriously, Warren, this has how it’s gone.
      You: we don’t have these here.
      Me: yes, you do. here’s one example
      You: they don’t have them now.
      Me: yes, here’s the date on this. And it’s on their current website.
      You: but it only covers what happens on campus.
      Me: here’s wording in the code that proves you wrong.
      You: but no one enforces it.
      Me: here are several examples of students being suspended from the team for HONOR CODE VIOLATIONS. They weren’t suspended from school, they were suspended only from the team because the honor code says they could not do that.
      You: it doesn’t fit a specific example I want.

      The only “evidence” you’ve provided for your side is that you’ve been able to argue your children’s school into submission on things. Even if I provided an example of exactly what you’re looking for you’d argue something about it because you’re one of those people who can’t admit they’re wrong.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 15, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      And your examples are either on school time, property or the students are acting as reps of the school. Not the same as the original story whatsover.
      The original story is off school time, off school property, and was not a team function. How much more direct and simple must it be put, for you. Give it up.
      Anyone that will sign a contract, or allow a gov’t agency to have that kind of big brother authority over their family, are weak, simple creatures that should never have reproduced in the beginning.

    • keelhaulrose

      August 14, 2014 at 8:27 pm

      Pot (which is the same level of illegality as underage drinking) off-campus and a tweet get a 15 year old suspended from his hockey team
      http://www.capebretonpost.com/News/Local/2013-10-11/article-3427254/Glace-Bay-school-suspends-hockey-player-for-smoking-pot/1

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 15, 2014 at 1:26 am

      Pot is not the same level as underage drinking. Alcohol becomes legal at 19, pot does not. And like most sports there are substance abuse rules. Not the same thing at all. Next.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 11, 2014 at 4:27 pm

      Underage drinking is illegal. Pretty sure you can’t get away with criminal behavior anytime.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 5:52 pm

      None of my employees would ever be caught drinking underage. LOL, they are too old. Secondly, as long as it does not affect their ability to do the job, I really don’t give a rat’s ass.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 11, 2014 at 3:23 pm

      How the hell do you know how I’m going to reply? If you already think you know, why even ask? In at at-will-employment state where I live, though, yes, you CAN be fired for just about ANY reason, with certain stipulations.

      Contracts are considered between 2 parties and as long as they don’t contain anything illegal, it’s none of the government’s damn business what is in them. These kids have the choice to not play in school athletics. Don’t like the rules? Go somewhere else. It has nothing to do with weakness. It has to do with institutions having the FREEDOM to decide what kind of behavior they will allow. If you sign a legally binding contract, don’t bitch about the consequences when you break the rules.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      Not bitching about them getting punished for breaking the terms of the contract. You signed it, sucks to be you.
      I am simply stating that only a weak ass population would allow those contracts to exist in the first place.
      If you are honestly okay with the state being able to control your life in that manner, then I really do feel sorry for you.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 11, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      Whatever. I don’t need anyone feeling sorry for me.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 3:48 pm

      Getting “popped” for breaking the law on your own time IS grounds for dismissal. Most states are right-to-work and can fire you for anything they like anyway.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 11, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      So glad I don’t live in the holierthanthou states. You guys fought the British because you didn’t like being ruled. Yet you haven given up so many rights that you are letting yourselves be ruled again. Way to go.

  23. AP

    August 11, 2014 at 1:08 pm

    The big issue for me with these school-punishing-kids-for-out-of-school-behaviors like drinking, etc., is that schools rarely enforce these rules evenly. They usually only hand out punishments to “prove a point” or to kids whose actions attracted the most attention from others in the community and dared make the principal “look bad” to others.

    I say this because my high school had a similar policy of enforcement. Our unofficial junior prom afterparty was known far and wide for being a drunken, drugged out orgy hosted by overly-permissive “cool moms” that a third to half of the grade attended. It was widely known in the community to everyone and alluded to on fliers in the school hallways. All of the 11th grade teachers gave “frat party safety” lectures the Friday before junior prom. However, one year, instead of getting drunk AT the party venue, the kids pregamed too hard and the venue manager sent them home at 2 am.

    The kids getting caught humiliated the principal, who suspended the kids whose parents hosted the party, turned the following year’s junior prom into a lock-in with security frisks, and called every party venue within a 50 mile radius to the school telling them to never, ever rent to kids or parents from our town (not just school, the whole town) that month or he’d sue them. It ruined junior prom for the following grade, who hadn’t done anything wrong.

    Meanwhile, those same kids went out and got completely and openly wasted and had sex pretty much every weekend, at every party, and on Spring Break without a peep from the school. The principal, however, was noted for his great defense of the school’s reputation and got a posh promotion to district somethingorother where he was paid a lot of money to do very little.

    • brebay

      August 11, 2014 at 1:30 pm

      But the law is applied the same way. It’s no defense to a crime or a sentence that someone else got a lesser sentence or that a bunch of people did the same crime. So I don’t know that that’s the lesson we want kids to get. If you break the rules/laws, you’re subject to all the penalties of doing so, regardless of what happens to others who do the same thing. If you don’t want the unequal enforcement, don’t break the rule or the law.

  24. WriterLady

    August 11, 2014 at 5:31 pm

    Well, this rings a bell. When I was a junior in high school, I got kicked off of the stupid cheerleading squad for an entire season. There were no complaints on my end, as I fully deserved that type of disciplinary action. I had been with two other girls and one guy on a Saturday afternoon drinking a few Zimas; one of the girls went and told another friend who, in turn, went and tattled on us to a school administrator.

    So, my parents and I fully accepted that I would be removed from the squad for the remainder of the season. In a situation like this, where the drinking was held off school grounds and outside of school hours, that seemed like a fitting punishment. Here’s where I think the school attempted to cross the line: Without sounding like a braggy douchecanoe, I had a 4.6 GPA or thereabouts at the time and eventually graduated in the top 5 of my class. The principal my junior year, who would later go on to be fired at the end of the year, was a tyrant and a horrible administrator. He brought my parents and me in for talks about further disciplinary action. There was a lot at stake, depending on how and why he decided to pursue this matter further. I repeatedly apologized and my parents were courteous and understanding, until he stated that I, along with the other 3 students, would be expected to serve out 3 weeks of OSS (out-of-school suspension) as an additional punitive measure. Out-of-school suspension was a really, REALLY big deal, because it meant that a student was essentially expelled for a certain duration. This was serious shit. While in OSS, a student can’t take any tests or make up any work, which meant that my grades in all of my classes would have plummeted–all because I drank 2.5 Zimas at my friend’s house on a Saturday afternoon (btw, I will never drink Zima to this day…the stuff is awful!). Also, an OSS infraction went on a student’s academic report, meaning that prospective college recruiters at the state universities I intended to apply to could have denied me admission for having a record tantamount to a hardened criminal-in-the-making.

    Some perspective—When I was a freshman, a girl secretly dosed a history teacher’s drink with acid (LSD) and got a month’s worth of OSS. Hmmm…dosing a teacher with acid =/= having a few beers on a Saturday afternoon with a couple of friends. Yet, the punishment was nearly identical. Similarly, the only other kids I knew who had OSS (or even ISS) were those who committed serious violations, like fighting and assaulting other classmates. Since all of this was hearsay, anyway, and it wasn’t a raucous party where someone was injured or violated, my dad vehemently fought the hell out of this one, especially since I had only one had one afternoon in detention prior to this incident. Also, my parents definitely punished me at home by grounding me for a month or so. In the end, the principal backed down from the OSS punishments. I’m pretty sure that 80% of students had been drinking at some point during the past year, so it was ridiculous of him to select a couple of people and make examples out of them in an effort to appear more like a hard-ass. Bottom line: Disciplining students for drinking and/or going to parties off school grounds is absolutely reasonable, in my opinion, as long as it doesn’t go overboard (and, of course, depending on extenuating circumstances).

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