I Lie To My Kids About Lots Of Things And You Are Lying If You Say You Don’t Lie
After I wrote about lying to my kids about the fireworks (still NOT going) I started thinking about a comment one of you made, which was:
And ya’ll know what? I AM an untrustworthy liar, at least when it comes to my kids, because this comment made me realize how often I DO lie to them! I lie to them on an almost daily basis! And I have been doing this for years! And when I tweeted a link to my article, two of my friends replied back to me and I realized I am definitely not the only mama out there doing this.
I have TOTALLY done this too, but now that my kids are older it’s more of me saying something like:
I have NO idea why all of your DVR’d episodes of Adventure Time have vanished from the DVR, maybe it is broken.
When in reality, I totally deleted that shit because I needed to make sure there was enough room for The Anna Nicole Smith movie on Lifetime. My pants are sooooo on fire.
This doesn’t work so well now that my kids know how to charge electronics, but you better believe that game controllers have been magically “lost” for a day or their batteries taken out when I want them to play outside instead of jumping down cartoon sewer pipes. Sure, sometimes I tell them the truth and explain I want them to get fresh air, but sometimes I have no good reason and I just want them out of my house so I can watch my DVR’d The Anna Nicole Smith movie on Lifetime. Other lies I have told? Oh let me count them…
Of course HE is real
Only my eldest no longer believes, but I have not come clean to my younger ones yet. And when asked, I lie my pants off. I say things like “Oh come on, how would your father and I be able to do all this (and then I gesture like a gameshow hostess to the magical array of presents ) in one night? ” And I change the subject. And give them some cookies.
Same with this guy
And this lady