10 Ways Parenthood Is Like Pledging A Sorority

I pledged a sorority in college but did not finish before becoming a member. Those weeks were easily the toughest in my life up until that point (hence, quitting) and I never thought anything could compare to how difficult it was. That is, until I had my first child. It was only then that I realized how much pledging a sorority is like parenthood. The parallels are truly astounding.

1. Forced Crafts

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In a sorority, you use enough puffy paint to choke a mule. As a parent, crafting is a big part of the job. I mean, the crafts are never good but you do them anyway.

2. You’re Always On Edge

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While pledging, you never know what’s coming up next and your nerves are shot after a few weeks. Much like parenthood. Will the baby sleep a couple of hours before waking to torture us again? Who knows. Sweet agony.

3. You Don’t Get Enough Sleep

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I never slept while pledging. What time I didn’t spend doing the sorority thing was spent doing schoolwork and attempting to remain relatively showered. Sleep was low on the priority list. Sleep and parenting? Do I even need to explain?

4. Degradation All Day Long

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Oh, the dumb things I did in hopes of becoming a full-fledged member of the sorority. Nothing was sacred. And just the other day, I let someone barf into my hands so I know a thing or two about dignity and being treated with respect.

5. You Don’t Eat Enough

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Pledging and schoolwork keeps a sorority hopeful so busy they barely have time to eat. And as the parent of a small child, you may find yourself calling four bites of congealed mac and cheese and a sad, chewed-up banana your dinner.

6. Someone’s Always Crying

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Pledging is so stressful and upsetting. Not an hour went by without someone melting down. Hello, life with babies and small children. Crying is your life’s soundtrack.

7. Lots Of New Terms To Learn

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Sorority culture is very unique and there is a lot to learn for the uninitiated. And if you’ve ever Googled “what is a nipple shield?” you understand that parenting has it’s own special vernacular.

8. So Much To Memorize

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The Greek alphabet, the names of every girl from the last 12 pledge classes, how to spell your pledge sisters’ last names-it was endless. My memory was taxed while pledging in a way that it was not again until having my first child. Tylenol dosage, breast-feeding information and car seat specs took up all available brain space.

9. You Never Change Your Clothes

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During pledging, I hardly had time to do laundry let alone the energy to swap out my jeans. As a mom, I’ve had three days on the same yoga pants before expanding my wardrobe horizons.

10. Lots Of Public Humiliation

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The sisters would make us sing stupid songs in the middle of the student union or wear dopey outfits to a frat party. It was good preparation for all of the times your toddler will make you feel like a total asshole at Target.

(Image: /Shutterstock)

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