Pop Culture

Olivia Wilde Is Not Having It With This Unrealistic Breastpump Bra Ad

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(samaro/iStockPhoto)

If you ever had a baby, or purchased breast pump supplies, or even read the word “baby” while an Amazon window was open on your computer, you have probably seen an ad for a hands-free breastpump bra. My kid is two and a half, and to this day every time I open Amazon, that ad pops up like, “Hey! Do you want this hands-free breastpump bra!?”

It is a great bra, but Olivia Wilde has been looking at that ad for too long, and yesterday she finally posted to Instagram to complain about how she does not think the model in the breastpump bra ad looks like a person who is pumping milk for a new baby.

“Real quick just wanna take a break from online (lazy-person) x mas shopping to call bullshit on this ad for a breast-pump bra cuz this lady definitely did not recently birth a child who requires breastmilk to be pumped,” she wrote. “Also want to give a quick cyber hug to this model who had to pretend to have recently birthed a milk-fed baby-child when she clearly has spent the last year lifting tiny weights and meditating. (Side note: why does Amazon insert breast-pump ads into every single goddamn search I make? I’m no longer in the market for more pump supplies Amazon! Shut it down!) PS. I own this bra and it’s awesome.”

Amazon is not exactly known for high-quality images or effectively staged pictures. Mostly they look like someone just started piling junk on the nearest human being they could find, which is probably not far from the truth, and then just shrugged and said, “Who cares if it’s a useful product photo? Shipping is free and people will take the risk if it means they don’t have to go to a shop and talk to a human being.”

I do love the look on the model’s face, though. She’s standing there wearing an awkward bra with plastic pumps sticking out of it, and the look on her face says, “Move to New York, they said. You’ll be in magazines, they said. Now I’m in a cold warehouse wearing a breastpump for $20, and my mom is definitely going to print this out and take it to show all her friends about how her daughter is a famous model in the big city.”

Good on her for giving it the old college try, though. What is a woman supposed to do when she shows up at a lingerie shoot and they hand her a breast pump bra. “Am I supposed to make it look sexy?”

“Just sort of stand there awkwardly with one hand on your hip and try to think about wearing a normal bra.”

There are, of course, many reasons a person might look like that while using a breast pump. Some people breast feed for a relatively long time, and could well still be using their breast milk a year or more after having a baby. And still other women snap back immediately to bra-pump-model fitness days after birth. Not me, though, and when I was shopping for these hands-free breastpump bras, I was mostly wondering things like, “Will this work when my breasts are enormous, and also when they suddenly go away entirely?” And about the best breastfeeding advice I ever received, which was, “Buy this bra in black, because it will get disgusting and black hides all the stains.”

It is a great bra, though. And pumping is sloppy, sloppy work.

H/T The Cut