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Childrearing

It’s Ok To Be Sad That Your Child Is Not Attractive But Fixating On It Makes You The Ugly One

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It s Ok To Be Sad That Your Child Is Not Attractive But Fixating On It Makes You The Ugly One mirror jpg

I’m pretty confident that most parents have had this concern at some point- that their child might not be the cutest baby ever born. Maybe it was during pregnancy and you worried about whether or not your baby would be one of the ones where friends and family would say “OH! She’s…..precious!” Or maybe when your baby was born, you fell in love but thought his nose was kind of big compared to the rest of his face or that he resembled Winston Churchill a little bit. I get it, it’s normal- no parent wants to think of their child being made fun of or not being seen by everyone else the way that you see them– as the most beautiful thing on the planet. The thing is, it is ok to be a little concerned or to acknowledge that your child is not attractive but fixating on it makes you the ugly one. Beauty comes in many forms and physical attractiveness is not the most important trait to hope for in your children.

A recent Reddit thread on this topic is an example of a mom who knows her child is not attractive and just needs to get it out there:

It s Ok To Be Sad That Your Child Is Not Attractive But Fixating On It Makes You The Ugly One ugly kid 640x287 png

As long as this is as far as she takes these thoughts, I truly see no problem with her expressing the concern that she knows her child is unattractive. I really feel for her- she sounds like she’s worried of what others think of him and doesn’t want to broach the subject with anyone in her life because of it. This has to be a hard thing to go through as a parent because if they acknowledge their child’s looks, they sound shallow. If they don’t, they likely worry that other people will talk about it behind their backs. It sounds like a very uncomfortable thing to deal with.

I think it is probably good for this mom to be able to take to the internet and confess these thoughts anonymously. This way, she has the chance to hear from others who either have the same concerns or who were “ugly ducklings” themselves but I very much hope she does not fixate on it “in real life” with friends and family. Or even worse- to her son. There are so many other traits you should want for your child other than being attractive and being attractive is still no guarantee that a child won’t be bullied for something else anyway. Also, you never know- they might not be made fun of for their unconventional appearance at all and will be loved for their personality, sense of humor and kindness. I think as a parent, it is so important to focus on your child’s positive traits and all of the reasons why they are amazing instead of fretting about their perceived flaws. Hope for good character, a solid work ethic and unwavering morals. Hope that they will be kind to their peers and that they will live a life surrounded by people who love them. Hoping they will be attractive is not wrong but it should not be the only thing either.

(Image: Valua Vitaly/Shutterstock)

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