I’m Not A Bad Mom Just Because I Don’t Make Bathtime Fun
Cover your bathtub in blue raspberry Jello and stick a bunch of fish toys in it, then put your kids in swimsuits and stick them in it. Let them go nutso, then wash your tub, all your kid’s toys, your kids, their swimsuits, the towels, the walls, the floor, your clothes, your hair, the dog, the house, the world. NOPE.
Make lemonade in the bath because, well, I actually can’t think of a single reason to do this. Lemonade in the kitchen works just fine for us. We usually end up with something we’d actually like to drink and enjoy. But, sure. Why not move kitchen activities out of the kitchen and make it instead in a vat of yellow piss water surrounded by foam cut-outs? It’ll be way more trouble than it’s worth, but it’ll get a ton of Likes on Instagram.
I say “…Bath” because this one is seriously reaching. Basically you dye the water red. Because barns. You put some straw hats on your kids (practical bath wear, natch) and then you just throw a plastic barn and animals in there. Yup. You could just let them play with the barn on the living room floor, but why when it could be so much more of a pain in the ass? Remember: your parenting is only as good as your ability to over-complicate things, so make life hard.
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