No One Gives A Crap About Your Second Pregnancy
I know it’s poor form to upset a pregnant lady, but some things we do to those who are with child aren’t enjoyable, yet we have them do it for their own good- like asking them to take gigantic prenatal vitamins. For those who are currently expecting an addition to their family of three or are planning on getting pregnant with baby number two- I have a truth bomb for you that may be hard to hear, but like spinach, it is for your own good, so here goes: No one cares about your second pregnancy.
I’m not saying this to be mean, or because I’m jealous of you and your growing bump. I’m just laying it all there so you don’t get mad at people who forget to ask you how you’re feeling or lash out at those who absent-mindedly pour you a glass of wine this holiday season.
It’s not that we aren’t happy for you, we are. It’s just that there’s a difference between watching a friend become a mom for the first time and seeing a seasoned veteran of the diaper set have another baby. If you’re a mom yourself, it can be fun to relive the excitement of a first pregnancy through a friend. If you’re not a mom, it’s cool seeing all the ways having a baby changes your friend (or not). But when a fellow mom has another baby, well, it’s great and all, but it’s just not very exciting. Unless you had trouble conceiving or a particularly difficult first pregnancy, having a second baby doesn’t change our perception of you too much, so it’s easy to forget it’s happening.
Which brings us to baby showers, and why you can’t get upset if your mother and besties aren’t clamoring to hear your thoughts on party games or themes. The first time around we indulged your naivete, but this time you know full and well that your second child does not need a white cashmere sweater they will wear once before they outgrow it. Unless this child is being born several years after his older sibling and you already got rid of all your baby stuff, second time mommies don’t get another baby shower. If you are having a girl this time around and your firstborn is a boy or vice versa, I will happily come to a sprinkle in your honor and gift you with some cute lil outfits. But don’t act offended when no one wants to buy you another crib.
Speaking of gender, I know a gender reveal party is a common way to bring some excitement to an otherwise predictable second pregnancy. And I am all over eating cake, regardless of the color of frosting inside (pink or blue it all tastes like delicious sugar) but unless you’re breeding a pterodactyl or you’re going to let one of your guests name the baby, how excited do you really expect people to get over the type of genitals in your baby’s diaper? Sure, have people over for cake, but keep your expectations in check so you don’t get your comfy maternity panties in a twist if some guests fail to RSVP. Not everyone likes cake.
Social media is a great way to keep family and friends updated on your pregnancy, but please remember that not only have we seen other pregnant bellies before, we’ve seen yours as well. Unless we are frienemies and I’m secretly watching to see how much weight you gain this time around, no one needs weekly posts with a split screened photo comparing this baby bump to your first pregnancy. You’re growing a baby. Your stomach is getting bigger. None of this is surprising news, not even to you. So stop that nonsense, you’re making it harder to find the Buzzfeed quizes in my newsfeed.
Please spare your friends the brunt of your pregnancy hormones if they sometimes forget about the new addition to your family. Chances are, if you really want to talk about your pregnancy, they will happily discuss it if you bring it up. Try to look at this this way, it’s not that we don’t care, we do. It’s just that you’re such a great mom already we aren’t worried about you pulling it off the second time around.
(image: Shutterstock.com)
