Viacom Utterly Enrages Sanctimommies With NickMom

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Since mothers “behaving badly” has proved to be an insta-eye-catcher, from tanning mom to Toddlers & Tiaras, it’s really only a matter of time before other networks start considering the potential dollar signs — even kids’ ones. While there are a wealth of “bad mommy” stigmas that make everyone from Lenore Skenazy to The Real Housewives appealing to watch, there isn’t that much cultural distance between watching mothers joke about how “kids make for great tax write offs” and “selfishly” describing their Brazilian wax while they dump the baby for a vacation. It’s all inconsistent with the great preciousness of modern parenting. American motherhood is practically splitting at the seams with expectations, stigmas, and judgements. So unfortunately candidness and even humor about mothering can often be manipulated into that same gawk factor that keeps the always present mommy shaming afloat.

Such is the important lesson now imparted to Viacom and therefore Nick Jr. who decided to go all edgy with their NickMom programming block. Katie J.M. Baker at Jezebel reports that the network is looking to captivate all those “bad mommies” with some naughty girl-time shows. It’s not porn, just women talking about getting their kids circumcised, the awkwardness of the sex talk, and maybe that one time their kid peed in their mouth. Baker writes that the programs do feature “lots and lots of sex” talk but that the segments are spun as moms-only time:

NickMom now offers moms four original series with titles such as MFF: Mom Friends Forever, NickMom Night Out, and Parental Discretion on a nightly basis, from 10 PM to 2 AM EST. The programming is geared toward the stereotypical “Bad Mommy”: the yoga-pants wearing, Skinny Girl Margarita-swilling lady who — don’t tell anyone! — reads Fifty Shades of Grey while Billy’s down for his afternoon nap. “At a certain point in the evening, hopefully the little ones are in bed, and this is an opportunity for mom to get some much-needed me-time,” NickMom senior vice president Bronwen O’Keefe told Newsday...NickMom’s website’s says “since being a mom is a 24/7/365 job, we’re gonna give you the break you deserve”…

But as we all know in the parenting blogosphere, mothers who partake in a drink or two, confess to parenting being a little more challenging than they expected, or invite some humor with their diaper duty, aren’t exactly met with the warm bosom of the sisterhood. “A growing number of parents,” according to Baker, have launched a petition to have the programming block removed. While some issues with the network’s new direction seem pretty valid, such as the “anti-dad” memes on the company’s official Facebook page and accusations of racist content, many parents just seemed peeved that they no longer have a 24/7 PG-rated babysitter for their kids. Complaints about the show’s new raunchy content have mothers, especially those on the west coast in which the programming comes on earlier, in an uproar over how to get their kids settled down for bed. Apparently, some parents hold Nick Jr. responsible for their kids’ inability to sleep.

Holly Lotte from Chillicothe, Ohio, commented on the petition that she holds the network responsible for her possibly autistic son (he’s getting tested) getting upset every evening:

Every night at 10 my son starts crying and is fussy for the rest of the night ever since this NickMom comes on. We have basic cable (time warner cable, 75 channels) and there is NO other cartoons on. You people don’t have to cope with the tons of kids who are upset who get their shows taken away. What if they’re sick? What if they’re teething or had a bad dream and want to watch TV some? What the heck are we supposed to do then? NOT EVERY CHILD GOES TO BED BEFORE 10pm.

Kimberly Fiskratti from El Cajon, California expects an apology from the company given that Viacom exposed her snowflake to some naughty language:

I don’t appreciate you putting bad words and sex talk on a TODDLER channel. I don’t appreciate you disrupting our bedtime routine…I don’t appreciate you introducing this garbage into our home…If you have any morals, you would remove NickMom from NickJr, it simply is not appropriate on a TODDLER channel. Also, I would like a formal apology for introducing my child to the bad language and sex talk that he was exposed to on your channel when we were expecting to see a show made for toddlers.

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  1. A. Levy

    October 11, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    I agree with Kate Wood of Callahan: What kind of mother sips margaritas at 9:30pm? Red wine makes for a much nicer sleep.

    • alice

      October 11, 2012 at 4:52 pm


    • Frances Bean

      October 11, 2012 at 5:52 pm

      I know, right? Margaritas is also too much work for me to do on a school night. Wine is simple and gets the job done just as well. Sometimes I’ll forgo the bottle and just buy the box. I’m a classy broad.

    • A. Levy

      October 11, 2012 at 8:13 pm

      I believe that is referred to as “Cardboardeaux.”

    • Lyn

      October 12, 2012 at 1:40 pm

      That made me laugh! I also agree with nurturing my marriage when the kids are off to bed. I do that by making sure to refill our glasses of wine!

    • Helen Donovan

      October 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

      You rock. And I agree about the margaritas – the blender could wake the spawn!

  2. lyzl

    October 11, 2012 at 4:11 pm

    Well, now I want cable just so I can watch NickMom it sounds hilarious.

  3. Frances Bean

    October 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

    First of all, try saying “Holly Lotte from Chillicothe” three times fast. Second, I love how little Nick Jr. cares about what these asshats think. STFU Parents has been joking about them for a while now, ever since they took away that asinine Moose and the nutty type moms went crazy. Every time I read something like this I feel this overwhelming urge to go troll the Nick Jr. fan site. But that’s not what ‘good mommies’ do right?

    • LiteBrite

      October 11, 2012 at 5:26 pm

      I actually kinda liked the moose. He was jolly.

      The outrage over this makes me laugh. Seriously people, get a DVD if your kid needs to be soothed by TV. It’s on after 9 p.m. which is defnitely NOT prime kid viewing in my book.

      Should I be embarassed that two of the mothers mentioned in this article are from my home state? I promise we’re not ALL like that here. Most of us put our kids to bed by 7:30 so we can recharge both ourselves and our marriage…with margaritas. (Or wine. Or beer. Or vodka. We’re from Wisconsin after all.)

    • Frances Bean

      October 11, 2012 at 5:48 pm

      A woman after my own heart!

  4. Jessie

    October 11, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    Put your kids to bed earlier people!!! Kids that watch only cartoons should not be up past 9pm. If you can’t do that, but a damn DVD player. No one is responsible for entertaining your children.

    And margaritas on a school night make me puffy. I prefer vodka.

    • CW

      October 11, 2012 at 8:13 pm

      You do realize that 9 P.M. Eastern is only 6 P.M. Pacific, right? We don’t have cable/satellite any more, but back when we did, it used to infuriate me that the cable networks would run their more mature programming at an hour that was still early out here in CA.

    • LiteBrite

      October 11, 2012 at 8:35 pm

      Cable and network TV typically adjust their feeds to account for the time zones:

      “With four time zones in the contiguous United States,
      U.S. national networks and cable channels generally air at least two
      separate feeds to their stations and affiliates: the “east feed” that is
      aired simultaneously in the Eastern and Central Time Zones, and the
      “west feed” that is tape-delayed
      three hours for those in the Pacific Time Zone. This ensures that a
      program, for example, that airs at 8 p.m. on the east coast is also
      shown locally at 8 p.m. on the Pacific . Networks may also air a third
      feed specifically for the Mountain Time Zone, which usually airs on a
      one-hour delay from the east feed; otherwise those in the Mountain Time
      Zone get the west feed.”

    • CW

      October 11, 2012 at 9:27 pm

      The broadcast networks did, but the cable networks generally didn’t, except for the handful that had a separate XYZ-West channel. It was one reason why we decided to cancel the cable and just use DVD’s & internet streaming.

    • Factchecker

      October 20, 2012 at 11:31 pm

      Ah but NickJr does not follow that and honestly it airs at 4m, 6pm, & 7pm in other time zones. they have NOT “airs at 8 p.m. on the east coast is also shown locally at 8 p.m. on the Pacific”

    • Bryan Garcia

      October 21, 2012 at 5:50 am

      Nick Jr ONLY has one feed which is the eastern time, please help us we just want Nickmom on a different stations that’s all where it wouldn’t matter what time it comes on. The Point of our protest is Nick Jr. is a bad place for Nickmom and Nickmom is extremely appropriated for Nick Jr.

      Again, for the people who don’t understand Nickmom comes on at various times depending where you

      Hawaii 4pm
      Alaska: 6pm
      Central 9pm
      Pacific 7pm
      Mountain 8pm/7pm (arizona)

    • Jessie

      October 11, 2012 at 8:48 pm

      Then buy a DVD, or switch to satellite which shows both east and west coast feeds. Don’t expect a tv station to be your babysitter…..

    • Iris

      January 11, 2013 at 7:21 pm

      Stop being a troll. Do you really think everyone can afford those things? Its a diffErent time zone, I live in hawaii and 4 is when kids are getting out of school. “Dont expect a tv station to be your baby sitter”? Kids should be in bed at 4? Stop comming up with excuses

    • Bryan Garcia

      October 21, 2012 at 5:48 am

      Kids should be in bed at 4pm and 6pm? Really?

      The times Nickmom comes on at various times depending where you live?

      Hawaii 4pm
      Alaska: 6pm
      Central 9pm
      Pacific 7pm
      Mountain 8pm/7pm (arizona)

    • heathersal

      August 1, 2013 at 9:03 pm

      Exactly, it comes on here at 7pm.

  5. Jane

    October 11, 2012 at 4:45 pm

    I’m glad this is not a problem I have. I don’t even have Nick or Sprout or Disney channels in my house! However, I am surprised because I don’t often find my opinions to be in line with “sanctimommies”, BUT based on the descriptions I’ve seen of this NickMom, it does sound like a completely stupid, vapid waste of time. I’m sad for the kids and parents who claim to REQUIRE tv shows aimed at toddlers in order to complete the bedtime routine. When my kids are in bed and asleep, generally by about 9PM, I do prefer to unwind with a book or check in on Facebook or visit with my husband. So I suppose I can simply conclude I am not the target audience for this channel. I think the parents who are outraged by this change need to calm down a bit. It’s one thing to express your disappointment by contacting Viacom once and to make a choice to change the channel. But if the channel is generating a great deal of even bad press, well…. isn’t there a saying about there bieng no such thing as bad press?

    • Frances Bean

      October 11, 2012 at 5:50 pm

      It does sound incredibly stupid, but no more stupid than The Real Housewives of Timbuktu or whatever else passes for television. I would definitely rather read a good book.

  6. alice

    October 11, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    Kate Wood from Callahan, Florida: PLEASE DEAR GOD BE AN INTERNET TROLL!

    I can’t fathom that someone would actually write what she did, in earnest.

    • jack_sprat2

      October 12, 2012 at 5:35 am

      I had assumed that anyone who wrote a post that silly was using the word “kiddos” to signal her sarcasm.

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  9. Another Steph

    October 11, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    Patricia Johnson from Apple Valley, California comments:
    You have completely alienated and offended your demographic by portraying mothers as whining, entitled and weak women who have nothing more to do than complain about their lives and their kids.As opposed to whining, entitled and weak women who have nothing more to do than complain about television programming.

    • Another Steph

      October 11, 2012 at 7:03 pm

      Dammit, there should have been a paragraph break before that last sentence.

    • Prince O'Wales

      October 13, 2012 at 10:50 pm

      I totally saw the irony in that mom’s statement. It’s like you apparently can’t be an adult anymore once you have a kid.

    • Felicia Orndorff

      October 21, 2012 at 7:29 pm

      You don’t complain about bad products??? My bad. Thought I lived in America.

  10. kathleen

    October 11, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    Why are these women allowing television to dictate their emotional responses? Methinks they feel insecure in their mommyness if this kind of program gets that sort of reaction.

    And Jessie is totally correct — use the dvd player, and by the way, tv before bed disrupts brain activity. A “real” mommy would take a moment from nurturing her marriage and would read her child a book instead. Or whatever, because I really don’t care what these women do.

  11. I was just on their FB

    October 11, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    I just dislike the plagiarism. Some of the stuff is funny, but at least tell us where you stole it from NicMom.

  12. C.J.

    October 11, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    I don’t have cable, we live in Canada and are lucky enough that our little town is in the perfect spot. We get all of local stations from Detroit, Toledo and Cleavland plus the Canadian ones. We get somewhere between 30 and 40 stations just from a roof antenna so we don’t bother with cable or satellite. Doesn’t cable have more than one cartoon station? Maybe it is different in Canada but I thought even basic cable had a couple of them.

    • LiteBrite

      October 12, 2012 at 1:15 pm

      It depends on what cable package you have. We have “extended basic” which includes NickJr, Sprout (the kids version of Public Broadcasting), and Disney. Disney does show cartoons, but only in the a.m. and early afternoon; after that they switch to the older kid stuff. Sprout, however, shows cartoons shows all night long.

      There is also the Boomerang channel which shows retro cartoons like The Jetsons and Scooby Doo.

      I know way too much about kids cable networks.

    • C.J.

      October 12, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      Thanks, I wasn’t sure. I don’t know much about kids cable networks but occasionally I realize I’m still watching cartoons after the kids go to school!

    • LiteBrite

      October 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm

      I’ve done that too actually. A couple of weeks ago, I turned on the TV and started doing work for the next day. A half-hour later my husband asked me why I was watching “Dora the Explorer.”

    • Leigha

      October 14, 2012 at 7:39 pm

      With the full cable package, there’s Nick, Nick Jr, Nicktoons, Disney (as LiteBrite said, only part of the day), Toon Disney, Disney XD, PBS (during the afternoon), Sprout, Cartoon Network, Boomerang, and possibly Qubo. Premium cable also gives you the ability to search for children’s programming specifically, and there are numerous children’s On Demand channels (some OD channels are free but probably not the kid ones, mostly music and primetime). Unless they only have basic cable (in which case you likely only have Nick, Disney, PBS, and maybe Cartoon Network), I find it hard to believe there is ever a time when there aren’t cartoons on.

      And they could always just go to the store, buy a Dora DVD and a cheap DVD player, and be fine. Kids will usually HAPPILY watch the same episode or two over and over again for weeks if you let them, so it’s not like entertaining them is that expensive.

  13. To Celebrate Women

    October 12, 2012 at 12:03 am

    Every time a sanctimommy posts, my tubes begin to tie themselves. Who on earth would want to be that whiny and miserable?

    • Courtney Lynn

      October 12, 2012 at 5:44 pm

      And judgmental!

    • Helen Donovan

      October 13, 2012 at 3:50 pm

      On the plus side, the SMs make me appreciate my mom and all the normal (and allegedly not ‘real’) moms out there.

  14. Edy Marie Offner-Clark

    October 12, 2012 at 12:18 am

    I mostly care because I pay an extra $8 a month for a educational channel..Nick Jr. The moms on these shows aren’t people I’d ever want to be friends with or watch on another channel. I play and read and do other sans-tv activities with my kids during the day, and we always had ‘tv time’ in the evening, after showers and before bed. I tried watching this stuff after they fell asleep, but I’d rather watch ‘Friends’ or “How I Met Your Mother’, because well..I’m not a self-righteous hipster mom. I love my kids and think cheap jabs about how much we love them going to sleep is well..tacky and cheap. That’s my beef.

    • lyn

      October 12, 2012 at 1:49 pm

      So you are saying that because a mom is happy the kids are finally in bed, we’re “tacky” and “cheap”? Not sure I get the cheap comment. I love my kids to death and spend a lot of time with them but I gotta say, when they are down for the night I’m ready to unwind and relax. Everyone has their own way to relax and no one has the right to judge another. Judgmental people make me cringe.

    • Courtney Lynn

      October 12, 2012 at 5:47 pm

      THAT is what you have a problem with? I don’t think joking about being happy the kids are asleep is tacky or bad at all. Being a mom is a hard job and I’m glad to get a moment to myself. I love my son and that should go without saying but it’s nice to be able to get a snack or do something I want to do. Or enjoy time with my husband.

  15. jack_sprat2

    October 12, 2012 at 5:31 am

    When my Mom had put the five of us down, she watched Roy Thinnes zap alien Invaders at 10:00 Eastern. Shame on her!

    • Helen Donovan

      October 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

      And you all grew up to be serial killers, right? 😉

  16. Justme

    October 12, 2012 at 11:08 am

    I can’t wait for the STFUParents post on this…

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  18. Daisy

    October 12, 2012 at 11:28 pm

    Now, I don’t think I would like these shows either, but for goodness sake–“Omg how can my precious snowflakes surivive without watching tv 24/7?! They will be traumatized forever and life as we know it will end! What am I supposed to do now?!” Gee, I don’t know, it’s a miracle how the human species managed for 10 000 years before TV was invented. Good lord. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it.

  19. Amanda Gerber

    October 13, 2012 at 2:39 pm

    Granted, I know a ton of kids who get put to bed by cartoons or “their shows” but I have never put a child to bed with TV. It can be done! And if it can’t, put a damn DVD on! Better yet, take ten minutes out of your night and read a book to your kids. Or have the nanny do it – whatever. To be so disrupted and pissed off by a small block of shows is outrageous. Your kids are not as high and mighty as you make them out to be, and there are in fact other people in the world. *gasp!* I know… Crazy, right?

    • Helen Donovan

      October 13, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      “Read a book,” “other people?” Oh you unreal, elitist, socialist; clearly you are one of the evil mommies. 😉

    • Felicia Orndorff

      October 21, 2012 at 7:26 pm

      4 hours is small??? And the world has 300 channels and toddlers have 3!!! But concerned mothers are the inconsiderate ones?

  20. Helen Donovan

    October 13, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I’m sorry to use this language when it is only4:00 p.m. but what is this shit about “real” and “good” mothers? Are unreal ones made from that stuff they use for “imitation crab?”

    As for real mothers all having “moral character,” I wish it were so. However, look in the news and you’ll see all the women who have procreated who abuse their children, sleep with students, and otherwise violate the law. Could it be that – GASP – mothers are just like the rest of society, a mix of good (whatever that is) and bad. (Another apology for the rant, but these self-proclaimed saints give me a pain in my posterior).

  21. KazaD

    October 14, 2012 at 12:36 am

    When my daughter was sick and unable to sleep – I hugged her and read her a book
    When my daughter was teething and unable to sleep – I hugged her and read her a book
    When my daughter had a nightmare and was unable to sleep – I hugged her, did a monster sweep and read her a book

    What a bad, bad mummy I was – I didn’t let her watch TV at night, instead I spent time with her. Sometimes, gasp, I even put on some music to help her sleep.

    Yeah, it’s a total sanctimummy post, but seriously Nick Jr mums, what’s wrong with reading a book to your kids before bedtime.

  22. Jessi Bencloski

    October 14, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    I think my favorite is this one:

    “What real mom sits around with other moms and sips margaritas at 9:30 on a school night??”

    Followed almost immediately with this line:

    “or spend a little time on themselves so they can be recharged for when those little ones need them the next day.”

    Now, I’m not a mom, and I guess I can’t speak for anyone else, but sitting around with a group of sympathetic friends with whom I can candidly discuss my life (in its joys AND frustrations), and perhaps have some drinks is just one of the ways I takes some time for myself and “recharge” for the duties of the next day.

    Or am I just making that mistake again of thinking that parents are also standard human beings with similar social and personal needs as all of us non-parents?

  23. Ice.The.Queen

    October 15, 2012 at 4:03 am

    oh for piss sake. These women need to turn the tv off, and read a book, or turn Nick Jr off and put a DVD in.

    • Felicia Orndorff

      October 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm

      Or get you to do it. You are perfect, right? Since you are telling these mothers what to do. Mothers who maybe have a routine in place? But you know what is best for others kids.

  24. Jill

    October 15, 2012 at 10:26 am

    I’m pretty sure no parents would mind if this block of programming were moved to another nick channel or another Viacom channel, just not on a toddler channel that boasts about being a 24/7 child friendly channel. Then parents, fans of the show and children would all be happy once again. Problem solved but without problem there is no controvery and without controvery what would everyone talk about??

  25. Bryan Garcia

    October 21, 2012 at 5:45 am

    People need to understand that Nick Jr. is a children’s preschool educational channel, when Nick Jr. (Noggin) was being promoted as a 24/7 channel preschool channel when they split from Teen Nick (The N) there was NO MENTION of any adult theme block on Nick Jr, when it became a 24/7 channel The fact is Nick Jr is a preschool channel NOT an adult channel. Also, for the people who say change the channel, why don’t you change the channel for the other hundred adult comedy shows out there, there are only a few children’s preschool educational (3, to be exact)channels in the uS, Disney Junior, Sprout, and Nick Jr (sorta). now for the people who say change they channel people with Att uverse and Dish cannot simply change the channel their providers do not offer Disney Junior or Sprout and they ar
    e stuck with Nick Jr, which Nickmom comes on at 10pm, but 10pm is ONLY the eastern time, Nickmom comes on at various times around the country, my time zone pacific time zone, it comes on at 7pm, in alaska it comes on a 6pm, and in hawaii it comes on at 4pm. Please don’t tell us to change the channel how about you change the channel to watch the other hundreds of channels that have adult comedy on them and leave a children’s channel to children for goodness sakes.

    Here are thee times for the rest of the country

    Hawaii 4pm
    Alaska: 6pm
    Central 9pm
    Pacific 7pm
    Mountain 8pm/7pm (arizona)

    Nickmom should NOT be on Nick Jr, it is extremely inapropriate for a children’s channel to air this sort of programming move it to regular Nick or create its own channel.

    All families have different schedules. We live in California where Nickmom comes at 7pm, we like to watch tv while eating dinner and sometimes we don’t even eat dinner until 7, 8pm, nine or even time 10pm for that matter. The point is we just want Nickmom to move to another channel, a should would it would be more appropriate for this type of programing. You know what hawaii it comes on even earlier at 4pm. Tell me who puts their kids to bed at 4pm? NOBODY! Alaska is 6pm, and as i said my time pacific time 7pm.

  26. Karen Hickey

    October 21, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    Note from me personally, Karen Hickey, NOT a “Sanctimommy”

    Anyone who knows me knows that I am far from perfect. I cuss like a sailor and find strange things funny – but NOT around children. “Nick Mom” starts at 7pm Pacific Time, talking about extremely sexual topics on a channel billed as an educational preschool channel.

    (Borrowed from Victor Golf Charles) This is the FIRST SHOWING when moms didn’t know what “NickMom” was…kids in Hawaii were watching the television at 4pm.

    The show begins with a monologue by Stefanie (SWT):
    “Remember when you first gave birth, and they let you leave the hospital with, like, a baby? Whose wise idea was THAT? … Who is going to help me with all this? My husband? Yeah, what the Hell does HE know? The week before, he was using his T-shirt to clean his teeth. Now I’m supposed to trust him with a newborn? … Remember how gross you feel? Your milk comes in and your breasts are gigantic and there’s always someone pawing at them? And then you have to feed the baby? … The whole sleep deprivation thing is torture. Shouldn’t the UN be called in? Babies have gotta be a violation of the Geneva Convention. … And then you and your husband start arguing over whether its appropriate to watch Law & Order: SVU while breastfeeding. Like she could really follow the plot (!)”
    The lattermost line was accompanied by a “humourous” graphic of a panic-stricken baby staring at a Law & Order title card.

    A skit called “The Boob Boss”: “Two women put the squeeze on those t_____s!,” “All I talk about are vaginas and b___s,” “Have you ever walked in on a really big pair and gone ‘AAOOOOGAH’?” and “Have you ever had to go hardcore on a new mom’s a__?” The skit, which used the word “breast” and various slang terms 20 times in a two-minute segment, was shown three minutes into the broadcast. This segment aired at 7:03pm Pacific, 4:03pm Hawaii.

    Later in the broadcast…
    SWT: “I’ve come up with a list of nicknames for you – Madam Bazonkers, Little Miss Nip Nip, the Squirter Queen, the Duchess of Ducts…”

    The next segment, “Circle Time”:
    ANDREA: “They say, ‘No matter what, you think your baby is perfect.’ But I have to confess: I did not think my son’s penis was perfect. I actually asked various friends to take a peek and size it up. One day, I was at a friend’s house who had a baby who was about the same age as my baby. She changed his diaper, and that thing just unfurled! Middle of the thigh, I swear.”
    LEIGH: “You have to tell, he’s, like, ten years old now, and she’ll still say, ‘Run and pretend you have to grab toilet paper. Look at his penis. Do you think it’s normal?'”
    ANDREA: “I do. I snuck a peek this morning, and I was like, ‘Hmmph.’ I don’t know, though. I’m Asian. I don’t know how to gauge it.”
    JENNIFER: “He’s in the audience. I’m sure he’s thrilled that you’re telling this story.”
    Leigh also offered the following “reflection” on being a new mom…
    LEIGH: “You’re at home by yourself, and you have no friends, and you’re sitting there with the baby. You can’t even get in the shower. You realize you’ve gotta get out or you’ll never make any friends, because all your friends are back at the office. So, you go to the park in your coveralls and no makeup. You look around at all the other moms who are feeling horrible about themselves, and you’re like, ‘Do I have to pick one of you guys?'”
    SWT: “You reminded me how psyched I am that I got my tubes tied!”

    “Devil Baby” sketch: Picture of baby with devil horns & adult mouth
    SWT: “Babies can’t tell us what they need.”
    DB: “I need a nipple in my face RIGHT NOW! Bring on the bazookas!”
    SWT: “Do babies have dreams?”
    DB: “How the f___ do I know?”

  27. Felicia Orndorff

    October 21, 2012 at 7:38 pm

    Sorry, but I so not drink alcohol around my kids, ever. What if they wake up and need me? What if they are burning up with fever, but you and dad decided to drink a couple drinks after the kids lay down?

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