Pssssst! Hey Donald! The Call Is Coming From Inside the House!

ByJayme Kennedy

Man, I honestly don’t even know what happened today. There I was, just trying to keep up with the disaster that is the Kavanaugh confirmation hearing, when Twitter blew the fuck up. Suddenly, retweets were coming in left and right of people sharing a New York Times op-ed. I ignored the first few, because honestly it’s an op-ed, how interesting could it be? But then I read the headline, and hoooooooooboy. This isn’t just ANY New York Times op-ed. No, sirree. This is an op-ed written by an anonymous high-ranking official in the Trump administration. And this wasn’t a glowing review of their boss. This was a confession from someone who claims to be working on the inside to take that shitgibbon down.

The New York Times op-ed is titled “I Am Part of the Resistance Inside the Trump Administration“. A MOLE!

“The dilemma ”” which he does not fully grasp ”” is that many of the senior officials in his own administration are working diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.”

“I would know. I am one of them.”

Daaaaaaaaamn! The entire piece is basically someone who claims to be right up there in this administration detailing how they’re working to make sure Trump doesn’t destroy the country. The writer insults Trump and his “decision making”, talks about difficult it is to keep him on task, and says we’re witnessing a two-track presidency, where he wants one thing and everyone makes sure to do the exact opposite, basically. It’s … not flattering. Not surprising! All you have to do is listen to that moron ramble on like he’s sundowning on Twitter to know he’s out of his fucking mind. But still, it’s a little concerning to hear from someone who presumably spends a great deal of time with him say, yeah he’s a fucking psycho.

Almost immediately after the op-ed came out, Twitter went to work trying to reveal the anonymous writer. Pretty common theory: it’s Pence, baby.

I don’t know. I read the op-ed three times, and I didn’t see one mention of god, which seems highly out of character for Mikey. Could be a set-up, with the writer using language Pence uses to throw us off their scent! I don’t see Pence as the second gunman on the grassy knoll, personally. But it would be entertaining as fuck if he was.

Obviously, as soon as that rotten potato got wind of the potential coup, he reacted like a totally normal adult. LOLJK, he shit his pants on Twitter then smeared it all over the walls.

This is all very entertaining, and some people are thanking baby Jesus that we have, as the writer put it, “adults in the room”. But you know what? There were adults in the room when Trump banned trans people from the military. There were adults in the room when this administration started separating immigrant children from their families. I’m guessing there are adults in the room every time Trump pulls out his tiny shriveled baby carrot and swings it around on Twitter. They sit by and allow him to behave this way, so you’ll have to excuse me if I’m not holding out hope that they’re going to actually stop him.

But I am having an absolutely fucking marvelous time imagining his meltdown right about now. If nothing else, at least he know that the people who work for him hate him just as much as we do.

(Image: Twitter/@realdonaldtrump)

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