Don’t Worry New Moms – Everyone Isn’t Judging You
Being a new mom is hard. Really hard. A recent survey showed 64% of new moms feel stressed and judged if their newborn cries in public. I totally get it – but I think our own insecurities sometimes make us perceive judgment when it may not even be there.
From The Daily Mail:
A new survey found that 64 per cent of new mothers report public disdain of their distressed newborns including open criticism, and even direct confrontation.
And it seems that the public do not hide their disapproval of crying children, with 41 per cent of new mums enduring stares from strangers, 36 per cent suffering disapproving looks, 27 per cent receiving disapproving sounds such as ‘tutting’, and 19 per cent overhearing negative comments.
We get thrown into this role that we are supposed to “naturally” be able to figure out, but for a lot of us – it doesn’t come naturally. I’ve been doing this 24 hours a day for three and a half years and I never look like a pro. New moms, don’t worry. Those of us who are sane understand how hard it is. The only people who are judging you are assholes, and who cares what they think?
In order to make you feel better about your early days of fumbling through motherhood, I’m going to tell you about a few things that I’ve been judged for in the last week. The last week, ladies! And I’m supposed to be a seasoned pro at this as a mother of two. Ha!
Last week was my son’s first week of daycare. On day two, I backed into a parked car in the daycare parking lot. I pulled over to get out of the way of the three cars that were also trying to make a simultaneous exit out of this tiny parking lot – and when I walked over to the car to inspect if I actually did any damage (which I was pretty sure I didn’t because I was going less than a mile and hour it was a TAP on the bumper) three parents had assembled around the pristine bumper because they thought I was driving off. So according to these people, I look like the kind of person who would back into a car at her son’s daycare – which she has to return to weekly – and drive off. Fantastic!
On another day, when I was picking my son up, I grabbed the wrong lunchbox and started walking out of the room. My bad! They all look the damn same to me. The teacher waved her arms across the room and said, That’s not his! while simultaneously shaking her head disapprovingly. Sorry! Spiderman and Superman use the same color scheme, lady!
For some odd reason, my son is afraid of public bathrooms – so he seriously holds it all day at daycare. It’s only four hours, but still. When I pick him up, his teachers mention it and throw their hands up. All the while I’m thinking, “Don’t kids shit their pants and stuff?” Is this really that bad?
There is one thing you have absolutely no control over – and that’s other people’s opinions. Also, if you are feeling less than stellar about a situation – like your infant wailing in public or being the odd-mom out at a new daycare – you may project thoughts on to these people that they aren’t even having. Insecurity does that – and being insecure about your role as a new mom is totally normal.
Don’t worry about the “judgment” you think you are getting from others. It’s pointless – and it’s probably all in your head. Pro-tip – no one really knows what they are doing, anyway.