Music Critic: One Direction Concert Is A Great Place To Score With ‘Barely Pubescent Girls’
Music critic Bob Lefsetz attended a One Direction concert outside Los Angeles last week, and used his review to encourage guys to see the boy band to hook up with underage girls. Is it any wonder why some people argue that criticism is dead?
In his newsletter, Lefsetz writes:
“It was incomprehensible. Furthermore, if you weren’t there you probably didn’t know it happened, despite the act selling out two dates and nearly a third, on a Thursday, a school night. And that was who were there. Students. Girls. Wanna get laid? Go to a 1D show. You won’t see odds this good at the prison of “Orange Is The New Black.” An endless sea of barely pubescent girls, screaming their heads off. You’d think it was the new Beatles. Only it wasn’t.”
For a music critic with years in the business, you’d think he’d be able to wrap his head around the concept of young fans flocking en masse to see a group of adorable dudes with dimples bounce around onstage while singing incredibly catchy pop songs. And yet. After a lot of babbling about the state of music in the digital age (snore) Lefsetz, who Jezebel notes has a reputation as a dirtbag, brings his creepiness full circle:
“Let me tell you, despite being one of the lone males in a sea of tens of thousands of females, what stunned me is nobody was radiating any sexuality, nobody was dressed like a slut, nobody was making eyes trying to get ahead. This was more like puppy love, even if dirty old men would say some of these girls were fully grown.”
How shocking it must have been for “dirty old men” like Lefsetz to realize that all these girls and women were there to hang out and enjoy music together and not perform for his demanding male gaze! Stunning, indeed. I was actually at the same One Direction show as Lefsetz, invited by a friend who’s a diehard fan. Our section was filled with mostly girls and women of all ages, and a few supportive dads there with their daughters. My friend buddied up with a young girl in our section and together they danced and belted out all the lyrics. Before we left her mom took a picture of them together. It was celebratory and fun, and the music and performances were great.
There is nothing worse than dudes who – when they don’t understand something – dismiss it as “incomprehensible” and instead make a bunch of crass comments about young fans in an attempt to hid their ignorance. Maybe next time just stay home and listen to your Beatles records, Bob.