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People Need To Stop Telling Me My Daughter Is Gorgeous — And Doesn’t Look Like Me

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little girl makeupMy daughter’s looks were a hot topic of conversation from the moment of her birth.  Who did she look like?  The family debated this endlessly.  They never reached consensus.  My mother-in-law insisted that, as a newborn, my daughter looked just like my husband did.  On the other hand, my mother claimed that my daughter was practically a carbon copy of herself at that age.

My daughter didn’t look like me. Yet I was told not to worry as babies change so much from day to day that she would eventually grow to be, if not my spitting image, a stunning amalgam of my husband’s and my best features. So I waited while breastfeeding and changing diapers hoping for my daughter to morph into a gorgeous version of me.

After the first few months of life my daughter lost the newborn look.  Her eyes stayed blue, though and I hoped that this would be her link to me.  My eyes have always been my best feature, the one that I emphasize with makeup.  I longed to strut down the street with a beautiful daughter peaking out of the top of the carrier and for people to comment on how we made a stunning mother-daughter pair.  Instead people insisted that she didn’t look like me.

It irked me that nobody remarked a similarity between my daughter and myself however everyone told me to wait and that her face would change with each passing day.  Meanwhile my mother and mother-in-law became engaged in a catty competition about which grandmother my daughter most closely resembled.

It’s worth mentioning that I gave birth to my daughter in May 2006, right after Katie Holmes had Suri and just before Angelina Jolie had Shiloh.  Pregnancy and newborns were the new fashion.  As an expecting mother I had basked in attention from friends, family and complete strangers in New York City.  Everyone told me that I was destined to have a beautiful daughter — beautiful like her mother.

I should admit that I have always loved being the focus of attention and getting complimented on my appearance and that I have a tendency to become jealous when others steal my spotlight.  After a few months of constantly being told how beautiful my daughter was without hearing any kind words directly pertaining to me, I became somewhat peeved.

Then, one day, when my daughter was a little over one year old something maddening happened.  It was a lovely May morning and I had decided to take my daughter out for a stroll in Prospect Park.

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138 Comments

  1. phyl

    December 3, 2011 at 10:12 am

    Yikes, talk about narcissistic! I hope that she was your only kid and that you can afford the therapy she is going to need when she gets older.

  2. Jen

    December 3, 2011 at 10:49 am

    I do kind of get where you are coming from, though I sincerely hope you don’t convey to your daughter how much it peeves you when she gets attention.

    My daughter looks EXACTLY like me, people are constantly remarking on the fact and those who knew me as a child are absolutely floored by my “carbon copy”. And I love it. Not because of the fact that people talk about how pretty she is right after saying how much she looks like me; but because having that sort of a connection with your child is sort of awesome. Directly seeing how your genes created your kid is fun. I’m pretty sure that’s the reason people immediately start searching their newborn’s face for signs of mommy and daddy. So I imagine being a biological parent and NOT being able to make that sort of connection might get frustrating–even without the added vanity of strangers indirectly telling YOU how beautiful you are by complimenting your kid.

    A suggestion: My husband shares almost nothing in common with my daughter, with the exception of her long, gorgeous lashes (of which I am constantly jealous, because they are AWESOME). Instead of focusing on how little my daughter looks like him, he enjoys all the ways she looks like me. Does your daughter look a lot like your husband? Or your mom? Perhaps if you could locate someone you love who shares a lot of the same looks as your daughter that might help you come to terms with how different you look from her? Also, just because she doesn’t share your looks doesn’t mean she doesn’t share your personality. Now that my daughter is older we are seeing all the amazing things she and my husband have in common and that is actually even more fun to see than how much of a physical “clone” of me she is.

    • Beth

      December 3, 2011 at 11:18 am

      Yeah, I see your point. I realize how superficial and catty I sound. Physical attributes don’t count for everything. I do remember how physically changed and unattractive I felt for over a year after she was born– stretch marks, excess weight, tired eyes, the works. Not as though I was any type of magazine beauty before, but I felt very physically changed. Perhaps it was also due to age. It stung to hear constantly about her beauty and to feel like I was losing my youthful look.

    • Jen

      December 3, 2011 at 12:33 pm

      Definite sympathies with the physical changes, especially the “tired eyes”! As I said, as long as you aren’t expressing how much you hate not feeling as pretty as your daughter to your daughter, I think it’s fine to occasionally mourn for lost youth/beauty. And I’m sure there are plenty of awesome and lovable attributes that your daughter clearly received from you and I think focusing on that could actually make you feel way happier than any superficial similarities.

  3. LolingUser

    December 3, 2011 at 2:09 pm

    I suggest a Google search. Then, dear readers, draw your own conclusions about this article…

    • Mummybear

      December 3, 2011 at 2:56 pm

      Beth I did as the above suggested and did you know that all your Facebook pictures are public??!!

      Your daughter doesn’t look much like you but really resembles her father. Your son does look like you.

    • Beth

      December 3, 2011 at 3:27 pm

      Thanks. He’s not the one to get all the “she’s so pretty compliments”. People only seemed to comment on my daughter’s looks. Thanks for telling me that all my fb pics are public. That freaks me out. Maybe I should take a poll about whether my daughter looked like me when she was a baby… It just drove me crazy when that man had to comment on how she didn’t look like me.

    • response

      December 4, 2011 at 11:48 am

      I guess I only thought it was funny because she says, “I should admit that I have always loved being the focus of attention and getting complimented on my appearance and that I have a tendency to become jealous when others steal my spotlight.” but she is really quite average.

    • troller

      December 12, 2011 at 2:59 am

      if by the above you mean the author is actually quite plain looking, I agree with you

  4. Mummybear

    December 3, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    Hmm. My children ARE “mini-me’s”, everyone says so, I think they are gorgoeus so I guess its a compliment but then I don’t think I’m beautiful so what does that say about my kids…..and I was always told that people say “oh she looks just like you” when they actually think the child is nothing special but don’t want to be rude.

    I’m glad you saved yourself with your final comments, before that you were coming across as a nightmare.

  5. AngD

    December 3, 2011 at 5:16 pm

    My lovely daughter is beautiful and she looks nothing like me. Dz is blonde with bright blue eyes not like my brown and brown combo. My daughter favors my mom whom I also look nothing like. When it comes to my little girl I like to think her smile is like mine, that makes me smile.

  6. CW

    December 4, 2011 at 5:54 am

    Well, I think all 3 of my kids are cute but the one who is the prettiest doesn’t look anything like me. Everyone in DH’s family insists that she looks like DH’s aunt did when she was a child. I’ve only known Aunt C. as a middle-aged woman so I don’t see it but youngest DD definitely doesn’t look like my side. The way I look at it, however, is that one of the things that attracted me to DH was his handsomeness (not the only thing of course, but I’m a red-blooded heterosexual girl after all!) So I really can’t get upset that my prettiest child looks like his side.

  7. Angela

    December 4, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    You’re not a narcissist. Clearly you wish you didn’t feel this way but you do anyway. As long as you don’t go all evil stepmother and start acting on these feelings it doesn’t make you a bad person. Emotions aren’t something that can simply be switched on and off so there’s no reason to feel guilty about how you feel.

    However, everyone enjoys feeling attractive and receiving compliments but your need for outward validation does seem a bit over the top. I may be totally off base but I suspect if you can focus on becoming more confident and secure with yourself you may not need as much validation from others. Not only would that be a great thing for yourself but for your daughter as well. The best way to help her become a confident, self-assured young woman is by example.

  8. Vicky H

    December 4, 2011 at 2:48 pm

    I agree with the author: people should be able to compliment her daughter without insulting her. What’s she supposed to say? “Thank you for thinking my daughter is pretty in spite of the fact that you think I’m ugly”?!?!

    People need to be called on their rudeness.

    Me and my sister are blue-eyed and fair and look nothing like my Italian mother. We grew up in Texas, and people were CONSTANTLY coming up to my mother and asking her, in either loud English or broken Spanish, where our “real parents” were.
    She always responded: “I’m a Yankee, so I speak better English than you. And these ARE my children, you racist!”
    But maybe that’s because she’s awesome.

    Many kids don’t look like their mother, and people need to get over it and stop saying rude things.

  9. rebecca

    December 4, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    People say stuff without thinking it through.

    I am a single mom (by choice) and my son looks just like me. Except that since becoming a mom, I switched back to my glasses, which inevitably hide my eyes. Complete strangers love to ask if his dad has blue eyes or they’ll offer something like “he must get his eyes from his dad!” One time the pediatrician asked me to take off my glasses so she could compare our eyes. Seriously.

    I’ll get over it. But it’s nice to know I’m not alone 🙂

  10. Beckye

    December 4, 2011 at 8:12 pm

    It’s just as annoying to be told you looked exactly like your mom. I’m much closer to my Dad’s family but I look like my mom. I also have a twin (no, not Identical ) that looks like my mom. and me I look like me, thank you very much! Not my mom, my twin or my dad. But just me.

  11. Helen Currie

    December 4, 2011 at 11:21 pm

    Very cute Beth! enjoyed reading it and get the same thing now even 10 yrs later!

  12. Lynn

    December 5, 2011 at 9:40 am

    Nice article. Beth, you are not alone. I am sure many mothers feel this way.

  13. Pingback: News Round-Up Dec. 5: Wish Lists, Beautiful Baby Daughters and a Grey’s Anatomy-Inspired Hero at Bunchland

  14. Karen

    December 5, 2011 at 2:36 pm

    I loved this article! That guy was a uncouth idiot. I can relate, because my daughter looks nothing like me or my husband. We are both short, with dark hair and eyes. (Some people have even mistaken me for being Asian when I’m full Irish). According to strangers, my little girl has hit the “genetic jackpot” with her tall stature, dirty blond hair, and blue eyes. (She looks like my younger brothers, who are very “Nordic.”) Do I care that she doesn’t resemble us? Not in the least. In fact, I’m glad she will not endure the racism and bullying I went through as a child with my “unique” looks.

  15. Frances

    December 5, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    I think this article was incredibly honest. Not every woman would admit to this, and I admire the author for doing so. This kind of thing is probably pretty common.

    My oldest and my youngest children are both blonde whereas I have black hair. My middle child is like my clone, and people are always commenting on how much we look alike. Thankfully I’ve never had anyone be as rude to me as that man was to the author, though someone did ask me if my oldest was adopted when she was a baby. lol

  16. Molly

    December 5, 2011 at 11:51 pm

    I thought this was fabulously honest! My oldest daughter is a carbon copy of my… younger sister, who was always subtly understood to be “the prettier one.” And she has my husband’s body-type: long, lean, legs that go on forever… I am totally not a person who is focused on physical appearance, so it surprised me how much her looks affected me. A great opportunity to realized the over-emphasis we place on physical appearance in our society, and how much that affects us even if we understand that a person’s worth isn’t based on how they look.

  17. Stella

    December 6, 2011 at 3:43 pm

    And some people maybe need to get some therapy to deal with their insecurities and debilitating narcissism. Share the “spotlight” with your daughter, mom, or better yet, let her have it.

    Sometimes I think this site is just messing with us, and the authors just make shit up to get comments. Mission accomplished.

    • L

      December 7, 2011 at 6:23 am

      I agree Stella.

      I have a look–at–me kind of mother…good luck in the future w/your daughters if this is how you are.

  18. Jen G.

    December 6, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    Beth – I loved the article and your honesty. I have the same issue with my 18-month old; she’s a blond, blue-eyed fair-skinned little girl, while I’m dark haired and tan well. We really look nothing alike, and it’s the first thing out of EVERYONE’S mouths, as if they’re the first ever to notice it! I don’t even mind whether they say she’s beautiful or not, but it does bother me when people focus on how different we look. Not sure why it hits such a sore spot, but it really does. I hear more often than not, “Oh, look at your daughter! She’s so… blonde!” Gee, thanks – I hadn’t noticed!

    Come to think of it, my annoyance could stem from the fact that my partner and I used anonymous donor to conceive our daughter, and apparently he’s got some super-strong genes, so she must look like him. In fact, she looks more like my partner than me (even though I carried her). Anyway, it would just be nice to see myself in her a bit more… I can totally relate!

  19. Megan

    December 6, 2011 at 11:44 pm

    Beth,

    I don’t think you sound catty, narcissistic, full of yourself, or jealous.

    Well, maybe a bit jealous. But I think that’s okay. We all have things we’re envious about in others–heck, my mom wishes she had my boobs, I wish I had my kid’s blue eyes. Happens. We want what we perceive as physical beauty we can’t have.

    I really read this as you’re happy for your daughter to be complimented–just that it’s rude for the complimenter to go out of their way to say she doesn’t look like you! If you take it out of the mother/daughter context…say, two sisters. One is told she’s gorgeous, the other is told that she looks nothing like the first one. Implication is that the second isn’t attractive, yes? I don’t see anything wrong with this being applicable to you and your daughter as well. Compliments for her are great–and you rejoice in her and her beauty!–but come on, let’s not imply that you’re unattractive. That’s just rude.

    And for those disparaging Beth’s looks–do any of you really want to be considered unattractive? Really? You know what, I’m average-looking, and I enjoy when my looks are appreciated, too. I enjoy when I have a spotlight–when people note what I’m wearing, or when I’m the center of beauty attention for once. I also know that I’m often not in the spotlight anymore because I have a kid! People ask how he is before they ask how I am. I’m not saying I’m all that. I’m saying that yes, I appreciate attention when it’s given me, especially given that my kid gets most of it now. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I bet y’all would enjoy the attention too, and I’m pretty sure this isn’t a commenting board of supermodels.

    So, Beth–I’m on board with you. I applaud the honesty. And I think as soon as looks are mentioned, people are always quick to judge, because looks aren’t supposed to matter. Well–they do. And it’s okay.

    • Molly

      December 16, 2011 at 3:44 am

      Yes, Beth was honest in her article but I don’t think such views ought to be encouraged. Looks matter, but when do you let them take precedent over your own views of the your child? To be jealous of your own child’s beauty solely because the child does not take after your own is rather pathetic and I just hope one day that daughter does not have to deal with such ideas about beauty and identity. I for one, look nothing like my mother, yet we are both truly beautiful people. Again, that does not even matter. Looks get you so far in life, and most of it is completely superficial. What does this mean for people who adopt their children?
      I am so glad my mother and father never stressed looks to me. They both taught me to take care of myself, eat healthy, and exercise but the end result was not to fit the standard norms of beauty but instead to feel and be healthy psychologically and physically.
      Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Yes, I can fit into a size 2 jeans but I am more motivated to exercise and be healthy so I can climb the Grand Canyon like I did this past summer.
      My plea to you is to stop worrying about such superficial aspects and please move to a deeper and more understanding level of motherhood. This is coming from a 20 year old college senior who is at that stage where I am so grateful for all my mother has taught me and about to embark on the next great stage of my life.

    • Jen

      December 16, 2011 at 7:22 am

      @Molly: You are so young, so I’m going to be gentle. You mentioned your (and your mother’s) looks and how attractive you are no less than 3 times in a 2 paragraph response and even found it necessary to shoehorn in your jean size. So, whatever you might say, it certainly seems important to you that we all realize you are beautiful.

      Further, from your age and your response I’m going to presume that you do not have kids. Which is not a jab at you, but I’d be willing to bet if you asked her your beautiful mom would be able to tell you about all the times she felt like an awful, slovenly mess after you were born. Wanting to look good (and have other people notice that you look good) especially when you spend all day in puke stained clothes changing dirty diapers is not a crime or something to be chastised. Beth obviously isn’t sharing these feelings with her child and venting your frustrations (to women who have had similar experiences) with a body that no longer looks like or feels like the one you had at twenty is not a horrible crime.

    • Beth Rehman

      December 21, 2011 at 10:58 am

      @Molly. I agree with you, which is why I am constantly telling myself to grow up! I don’t want my daughter to grow up thinking that her worth lies embedded in her physical beauty– it doesn’t. There are a host of reasons why I harbor such insecurities and I won’t get into them here– but it is hard to change. I know I will, but it seems to be taking some time, especially when you are trying to change your thinking to something that runs counter to mainstream mentality.

  20. roxythekiller

    December 7, 2011 at 11:21 am

    Man, that guy who “complimented” your daughter sounds like a total creep!

    In these situations, sometimes the best thing you can do is be witty. If people ask if your kid is yours, say you stole her off a train. Or that you paid a nurse to switch her at birth. Then walk away. As my grandmother used to say, “stupid questions deserve stupid answers.”

    And she would’ve known, since her son “didn’t look like her” either :).

    • Ieatslutslikeyouforbreakfast

      March 27, 2013 at 3:51 pm

      Oh yeah, total creep. Fucking stupid feminist bullshit. Men aren’t allowed to fucking do anything anymore without being misjudged. I hope you get aids and die slut.

  21. Ange

    December 7, 2011 at 9:02 pm

    *peeking

    • anon

      December 7, 2011 at 9:32 pm

      haha! good catch on the typo, Ange!

  22. sarah

    December 12, 2011 at 2:50 am

    wow, you are vacuous and pathetic… You are not as beautiful as you think you are. I feel really sorry for your daughter

  23. sarah

    December 12, 2011 at 3:02 am

    ugh, you are ugly, inside and out. (saw your facebook profile ) I really feel sorry for your daughter

    • JSH

      February 3, 2012 at 3:00 pm

      A single article and a few pictures and you feel enough anger to call a stranger names in a public forum.

      What do you find so threatening in this article that you feel the need to lash out so harshly?

  24. Anonymouse

    December 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    I thought this piece was very well-written, with the exception of the typo that Ange pointed out! I don’t really understand why people are ripping apart the author’s looks, though. It seems to me that the point of the piece was that the author liked attention before her daughter was born, she liked to be complimented on appearance. Even ugly people get complimented on appearance at times and I know unattractive people who are very vain. The point seemed to me to be that the author is learning to deal with being jealous of her baby daughter’s good looks, in particular her complexion.

  25. Andra

    February 3, 2012 at 4:26 am

    I admit to being curious and googling you to see just how beautiful you are and why you want your daughter to look like you. I think you need a reality check darling. It gives me no pleasure to hurt your feelings but you need to get a grip. I find this whole article offensive. Sure life is easier and smoother if you are attractive, no question, and I hoped like all mothers my children would be attractive for that reason. But I cared far more about whether their nature was beautiful and I sought to nurture that above or else. I’ve had my share of admirers but I didn’t give a damn if the kids were considered more attractive than me – in fact I hoped they were. For your sake and your daughter’s I hope you work hard on getting past this. Few of us get better looking with age and accepting that as we age we get a lot less attention is one of life’s lessions. With your present attitude you are going to struggle.

    • Gen

      February 3, 2012 at 2:56 pm

      Anyone who does not admit to any sense of jealousy or fear about who they are and how they appear is lying.

      This is not about a woman’s philosophy on parenting it is about a feeling that exists that is in conflict with her love for her daughter. It’s Human and True and showing these darker sides of ourselves will only help others.

  26. Claire Robichaud

    February 7, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    I feel sorry for the child here. She didn’t decide to be beautiful. I was born looking exactly like my mother’s (prettier) sister and had to deal with my mother’s jealousy all my life. My younger sister was born plain looking so I grew up learning to dread the compliments that would inevitably result in resentment from my mother and sister. Unfortunately, they formed an alliance “against” me that still haunts the relationship between my sister and I, ten years after my mother’s death. I now have two gorgeous adult daughters and am and have always been, fiercely proud of both of them. How can a parent possibly be jealous of a child they have created?

    • Beth Rehman

      February 8, 2012 at 11:04 pm

      Hi, I just saw your comment. Hmmm…. not really sure if I can answer the question “how”– I just realized that day that I was and felt so embarrassed that I turned red. So much of it had to do with attention– my child immediately became the center of attention– so I am guessing that I would probably have felt similarly had she gotten attention for anything, even it if wasn’t her looks. Now that some time has passed things are different— attention seems a lot less important. Perhaps this is because I have “grown up” a bit, but I wonder if it also has to do with just getting used to having so much of my life revolve around my kids. Just this morning I was thinking about how remarkable it is that a tiny, helpless baby has grown into a six year old who can express herself, dance, paint and do so much. Even if I created her, she has become herself– distinct. As hokey as it sounds, this seemed truly amazing to me. Then I thought of this piece that I had written. Attention that comes from someone else can be taken away, diverted. A compliment only makes me feel good for a little while. I am not going to spend my life chasing after compliments to feel good. Witnessing my daughter’s development is an experience that I will live in my memory forever. I have a feeling that it will always feel good. I just say have a feeling because I don’t know what the future holds for me.

    • Akasha

      November 2, 2014 at 1:28 pm

      I’m happy to hear you have come to this conclusion. My mother was/is jealous of me. She instilled in me feelings of insecurity, depression, and self-doubt. I was in therapy and took antidepressants for years. I took a long time to find validation in myself as an adult. Our relationship is still very strained. She sees what she has done and tries to avoid repeating patterns, but it has been and still is a struggle of pain, fear, and guilt for her. I hope you can help your daughter to be a strong validated woman. If you continue with jealous behavior it will tormente you for the rest of your life.

    • Ursula

      August 2, 2012 at 6:31 pm

      I felt bad for my two sisters when people complimented me infront of them I thought that was rude as we where all young my younger sister always says how her friends tell her I’m so pretty and that she looks like me we have similar skin the same thick hair but not much else I feel she needs to hear she looks like me as I got all the compliments and her and my other duster didn’t they’re not ugly but it must hurt to hear ppl say oh ur so pretty to your sister and then be made to feel your ugly 🙁

  27. Claire Robichaud

    February 14, 2012 at 8:29 pm

    Hi Beth,

    Your answer to my comment made me happy. I believe I know what the future holds for you. In the past six years you have watched, (with wonder and awe, I imagine?) your darling baby grow into a uniquely talented little person with endless potential. I predict that you will relish each and every stage of her development until you stand before your adult daughter and say to her: “If you weren’t already in my life as my daughter, I’d want you to be my best friend!” That’s how I feel about my two daughters now. And I am now blessed to be able to watch them being exceptional mothers. Enjoy!

  28. Jaclyn

    February 21, 2012 at 1:01 pm

    Thanks for your openness, Beth! It is, after all, your feelings and whether or not it is healthy or normal to feel this way, it is still YOUR feelings. I appreciate your honesty, as I can relate to what you are saying. I will never know, as my mother is now deceased, and she never revealed to me what she was feeling, but I often wondered why she seemed resentful toward me or just did not like me. Your sharing your story with us educates people to let them know envy and outrage do exist when it comes to jealously in mother/ daughter realationships. I have searched for an explanation for the resentment, or to understand what the possibilities are of a sibling or mother feeling threatened or envious of their own sister or daughter. I, myself, have a daughter and always just wanted her to be beautiful in every way. I can understand, however, your wish to have your baby show some resemblance to you, especially if you are happy with your own looks. But I never read much about whether or not it was possible for a parent to resent their child if they felt the child was better looking or recieved more attention. I found your article very interesting…. I should add that my mother was a beauty in her youth and recieved much recognition for it.

  29. Sadie

    February 26, 2012 at 5:09 pm

    Ugh….I see all the signs and it makes me shudder. Just because you are honest doesn’t make it better. As a matter of fact, you writing this article and redeeming yourself at the end is just another classic narcissistic mother tactic. You want to look better in people’s eyes, get permission for being self centered and also validate your ridiculously immature behavior. I also know that you read these comments religiously, looking for compliments validation and attention, not wanting to acknowIedge the moments when people point out what a nightmare you are and will only intensify as times goes on. Don’t think that writing this article is going to fix what is destined to be a hellish experience for your daughter. Get therapy. I mean it.
    Sincerely,
    Daughter of Narcissistic Mother (who was just like you.)

  30. Moe

    March 21, 2012 at 7:10 pm

    I sympathize in many ways with the author. Both my children are doppelgangers for their father; fortunately, he’s a stunner, so I’m not complaining about that at all. However, what bugs me is that I never looked like my very attractive mother or my just as attractive sisters, and like other posters above, I grew up the odd one out, feeling like the ugly one in the family.

    Now I have two beautiful children who look more like my sisters and my husband, than me … so every time I hear how beautiful they are and how they look nothing like me … I am back to being the ugly duckling in the family. It really isn’t about the good looks thing; as someone else said above, it’s that need to look at your children and see that physical connection to them. I didn’t have it growing up, and now I don’t have it with my own children. It kills me.

    For a long time I colored my hair blonde, I think to fit in with my family. And just once in while, some stranger would say that my daughter and I looked so much alike (I just glowed inside hearing that). But recently, I decided to try to get back to the “real me” and went brunette again. Since then it’s back to how much my children look like my sister or my husband. So much so, I’m tempted just to go blonde again, but I feel like I’m just caving in!!!! I know this all sounds incredibly shallow … but until you understand how disconnected not looking like anyone else in your family can make you feel, please don’t judge.

    • Leah

      May 4, 2012 at 7:21 pm

      You still shouldn’t let this bother you so much. I am a dead ringer for my dad but i cannot stand him and harldy look anything like my mom whom i ABSOLUTELY adore and love more than ANYONE else on this planet! As long as there is an emotional connection/bond, looks are completely out the window and meaningless!! 🙂

  31. Lena

    April 11, 2012 at 8:42 am

    Be very careful to not become consumed by your envy and insecurity. My mother is the malignant narcissistic type who hated me for my looks. I inherited an youth gene from my father which is great, but is a double-edged sword. When I was in my 30s, people would ask my mother what it was like to have such a ‘late baby’ and did I get along OK with my older siblings. (In reality I am the eldest.) One lady asked her when her daughter was going to start college, I was 37 then.

    She always expressed jealousy towards me in the form of sabotaging everything good in my life and never letting me have my turn to shine. She would not let me grow up and as a result, people actually treat me as if I am quite dim. It sucks.

    Here I sit, still exquisitely beautiful, unlike my mother who is as ugly on the inside as she is on the outside. I have PTSD, serious social phobias and depression as well as an eating disorder. I will not neglect my paternally bestowed appearance because I know I will have my day in the sun and it will shine. I wish my dear departed father could see me now but she drove him to a very early grave because of her jealousy.

    I ceased all contact with her 6 years ago (aged 40) and I am still looking for answers.

    • Ursula

      August 2, 2012 at 6:24 pm

      I feel for u !! I had social phobia. B.d.d , OCD etc I was treated like I was dim too like I mentioned I hope u find happiness sweetheart , jealousy is a cruel thing but if it’s from others u deal with it when it’s from your own mother it’s a little harder to accept

    • Paige

      January 8, 2014 at 1:15 pm

      I have a very similar experience where my mom was very jealous of me for many, many reasons. Too many; I can’t even go into them. I remember watching how she coddled & babied my little brother, and how she always hissed venom at me for breathing wrong, and I wondered why she hated me. It was not until adulthood that I realized she was jealous of my every move, and felt threatened by me in every way. I remember thinking, even as a kid, “Well, at least GOD favors me!” The reason I thought this was bc my brother was as dim and immature as my mom was, and also nothing to look at.
      Hence: her constant favoritism of him, which continues to this day.
      My mom was so emotionally immature, she could not raise a daughter who was not a little Mini Me of her. You were her clone, or rejected as her daughter.
      She sabotaged all of my relationships and opportunities in life, and pushed me into abusive relationships with low IQ men who treated me like dirt. I had to break away to break free. It hurts to this day. She will never say she’s sorry nor recognize she did anything wrong, but I was just a kid who trusted her in everything.

    • A

      April 21, 2014 at 9:51 pm

      you can’t say that about your mum…she is your mum…not a stranger passing by..

    • cotton candy love

      June 25, 2014 at 10:36 am

      im 21 and I have the same issues too.i developed ptsd depression and social anxiety as well.reading what you wrote made me feel that I wasn’t alone.

  32. Linda

    April 16, 2012 at 5:10 am

    Beth, the guy was definitely rude for all but saying that your daughter is pretty and you’re a troll! Please, get some therapy, so you can control your envy towards her.
    I don’t turn heads, and I’m not beautiful like my maternal aunt, but my mom is jealous of my looks and brains. She sabotages me something terrible, has no confidence in anything I do, criticizes my abilities,never apologizes for anything, gets very, very nasty when an apology is expected, and has the emotional sensitivity of a chainsaw. Of course, I’m the one that needs help, she’s perfect. Now that she’s older she wants full attention including the hugs and kisses she never gave anyone when we were kids.
    I love her out of duty, don’t like her and don’t trust any woman alive any further than I can throw her.

    Now, just imagine, how things could have been different if she’d only have gotten some psychological help as soon as it dawned on her that she was jealous of me?
    Please don’t poison your daughter’s life; she doesn’t deserve it.

  33. Carol

    April 30, 2012 at 12:28 am

    Kudos to you for having the courage to put your true self out here. Obviously you are uncomfortable with your feelings and that is prompting you to check them out with others. That’s very brave. We are all human beings, and being a mother does not change the fact that we were people in our own right first. We grow up, but we don’t outgrow our need for validation, and attention from others. Our own little girl inside is very much alive and needs to feel she is visible to others. It’s this slightly insecure child inside who isn’t thinking, just feeling whatever she feels.

    This man was insensitive and hurt your feelings by implying you were not beautiful. Who wouldn’t feel hurt by that? Feelings are messy and irrational, and so what? They appear whether we like it or not. It isn’t the feeling itself that’s bad, it’s judging ourselves for having a feeling that’s bad. Once we let ourselves have a real feeling and just accept it’s existence, it loses its power to cause harm. Tell your husband you need some extra attention and TLC. And cut yourself some slack here. You aren’t perfect and neither is anyone else.

    • Amanda

      November 1, 2014 at 2:02 am

      I know I’m late to the conversation, but still felt i needed to reply. Carol, thank you for replying thoughtfully to this Mom. So many of the other comments are so unkind. Although I don’t identify with this Mom on most of what she’s written, I definitely think she was right to be offended by the guy in the street saying “you’re daughter is beautiful … she looks nothing like you” That definitely implies that the Mom is not beautiful. That probably is not what he meant, but the implication is still there. Being offended by that comment doesn’t mean the Mom is going to be jealous of her daughter. The guy in the street was an insensitive idiot.

  34. sherry

    May 10, 2012 at 1:04 pm

    Surely you must realize by now that most of the population are extremely rude people who get joy out of saying mean things(and very good at making it sound like they are just speaking an opinion, or even complimenting you LOL). My advice would be to insult them back in some way(without being obvious of course). Aside from all that, just be happy with your beautiful daughter and focus on hers and your “inner beauty” and the relationship between the both of you. I grew up with a jealous mother…not sure why she is that way, but she is. And I always felt like I didn’t really have a mother, but instead a “competitor”. I guess she never really matured, thank god I did.

  35. Robin

    July 23, 2012 at 10:36 am

    Hmmm. I applaud you for being so honest about your feelings with this matter, but I must admit I am worried.
    When I was a child my mother and I would get stopped a lot by strangers to admire how much we looked alike.
    The older I got the less I looked like my mother, but she always hung onto the idea of me being her clone. And I just wasn’t anymore. Eventually, she started resenting my looks (I looked more like my dad when I grew older) and although it wasn’t intential she made me feel guilty for not being exactly like her.
    Now at 32, I have a totally different perspective from the original poster. I sincerely hope that you can embrace that your daughter looks nothing like you! So what!!! Your daughter will pick up on the resentment I promise and she so does not deserve that from her mother.
    You are beautiful and so is your daughter. Be thankful that there is not one type of beauty, but two.
    And I don’t mean to offend you, but I do think you are being incredibly selfish. Honestly, do you love your looks so much that you want your daughter to be a mini-me? This just seems very disfunctional. Good luck.

  36. Ursula

    August 2, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    I was mad at u reading your story cus my mother always seemed to hate me the whole family and strangers would comment on how good looking I was which I felt uncomfortabl about as I was very shy my mother never said your ugly to me but I reckon anytime someone said how pretty I was she secretly wanted the attention herself and was always the nastiest too me over my sisters I got teased by girls at school cus of how big my hair was and that was envy girls wear extensions to get hair as full as mine !! Boys teased. Me but most fancied me and them boys that teased where ugly and just intimidated !! I developed body dismorphic disorder as a result and I’m 21 now and much more comfortable I was 16 then and gorgeous to be honest but it’s sad I couldn’t see that as I only listened to the negative jealousy rather than the more. Prevalent compliments I got told on a few ocassions I I could b. a model! But I like how u showed embarrassment at ur jealousy over your daughter at least u saw the error of your ways many women and mothers aren’t like that so I applaud u

  37. Ursula

    August 2, 2012 at 6:18 pm

    Also I do t look anything like my mother I look like my dad apparently who was a drunk and hit my mum so I feel she hated me for that I. Don’t look like him lookin at pictures but knowing how slutty and selfish my mother was she probably slept with someone else as she cheats too I have bright blue eyes like my dad too I guess that kills her but it’s. It not my damn fault !!

  38. Ursula

    August 2, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    I was also called dumb just cus I’m pretty and a friends mother always Got my sister to fetch her things when she was at our house as I was the ‘dim’ one this woman was a fat bitch who always put anyone pretty down

  39. jonathan

    August 28, 2012 at 2:08 am

    Don’t isen to them, your beautiful 🙂

  40. Kfkrkfkfkf

    September 7, 2012 at 9:14 am

    Really? Grow up. You have some serious self esteem issues. You shouldn’t have to hear compliments about yourself to feel good about yourrrrrrselllfff. Be glad you have a beautiful daughter and quit being jealous of her. That’s really pathetic

    • A

      April 21, 2014 at 9:50 pm

      it’s not about jealousy..its about being sensitive:))

  41. Giulia

    September 16, 2012 at 2:51 pm

    you sound like the evil step-mother from snow white eeek!

  42. dee

    December 26, 2012 at 6:22 am

    If it makes you feel any better, your daughter is ok looking. She’s cute cuz she’s a kid but nothing I would stop dead in my tracks over.

  43. cje

    February 19, 2013 at 11:06 pm

    I’m kinda conflicted about this article, you sound like one of those heiriess types or fifth avenue wives, she’s your daughter for God sake, mommy dearest, much?

  44. Janean

    February 22, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    -_- this crazy! She need to stop!

  45. Sally

    March 8, 2013 at 12:57 am

    I took a look at your Facebook profile, and you and your daughter are BOTH really beautiful! I can see some similarities personally, and although she doesn’t look like a carbon-copy of you, it doesn’t mean that YOU aren’t as good looking. Not to mention, a beautiful woman and a beautiful child are two very different things. Normal people don’t want to have sex with a child, so there are different KINDS of beauty. Even if your daughter becomes a beautiful teenage girl, the only people who should see her in a sexually beautiful light are OTHER teenagers or very young adults. Unless you want to compete for a BOY or a someone who is just barely an adult, who in 10+ years time may be almost young enough to be your son, then who cares if your daughter is even 10X better than looking than you (she isn’t. Both of you are good looking). Maybe that young guy in his 20’s was a pedophile who resented adult women? Maybe he was just rude? Who knows, but I can tell you as the uglier daughter of a beautiful mom (inside and out) that I’ve been through a lot of harassment by strangers since I was just a kid. People who get to know me often exclaim that I’m very nice, kind, even angelic. But how I look physically has brought me a lot of pain despite trying to be a good person on the inside, and presentable on the outside. At least a few times per year since I was around 12 or 13, I have strangers point out my flawed appearance. I’ve witnessed by more beautiful classmates get higher marks, have men dote on them, people suck up to or hang on their every word. People often exclaim at how good looking my mom is, although it doesn’t bother me because it’s true. My ex boyfriend said he would rather date her if she was younger. Comments like that hurt though, so I can relate. I often wonder why, even if I’m not that good looking, why do people feel it’s then OK to hurt me? If I ever have a daughter, I pray that she is beautiful, so she doesn’t have to go through the same life of bullying that I’ve been through. Even when I try my best, it is never good enough to many because my shell isn’t as pretty as the others. Count your blessings that you and your daughter are both beautiful. Best of wishes xx

  46. Robert

    March 9, 2013 at 6:20 am

    Shut up skank

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:13 am

      Shut up, penis.

  47. Horus

    March 23, 2013 at 5:52 pm

    Why the heck do you care so much about looks? Grow up and learn what really matters.

  48. Brittani

    March 25, 2013 at 10:44 am

    Lol, acting like a child. I don’t care who my daughter looks like, I know she’s the most beautiful being on this earth, and that’s all that matters.

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:12 am

      LOL? Oh, that is so mature. Maybe get over your not so impressive kid?

    • cfcltd

      May 13, 2014 at 10:47 pm

      WOW! After reading your comments on this site I just can’t get over how much of a bitter dried up old b!tch you really are.
      You are so full of hate and bitterness I’m surprised that you haven’t taken your own life yet.
      You are just a wind bag who likes to rag on others because some man broke your cold, dead heart and you figure nobody else can have some happiness in their lives because you don’t.
      No man wants to touch you or be with you, I am thankful that you don’t have kids because bitter, useless old dried up bags like you don’t deserve any.
      You are a disgusting example of a woman and you deserve to be lonely.
      You’re acting like a spoiled 12 year old child who’s only recourse for attention is to rant and rave like a friggin lunatic.
      You criticize others for their comments and you are doing exactly what you criticize others for, you are such a lying two faced hypocrite you can’t even begin to understand you own hate and bitterness towards others especially men.

  49. youreallyareacuntandhsoulddie

    March 27, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    Jeez. Your daughter is going to hate you. Selfish whore

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:11 am

      Nice to know what YOU think of your own mother. tsk tsk tsk….you must be a man who thinks fatherhood starts and ends at depositing sperm. Get help, boy.

    • kate morales

      August 4, 2014 at 4:34 pm

      that is not a nice reply at all. honest – you should be kicked off of this site. It sounds as if you are the one with even a larger issue by your response and your name on here.

  50. youreallyareacuntandhsoulddie

    March 27, 2013 at 3:49 pm

    To all the enablers: I bet daddy raped you and mommy hated you.

  51. Guest

    April 6, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    Seriously?

  52. lovemecoffeeknots

    April 6, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    And ladies and gentlemen, if you would kindly care to turn your attention to this species of human. My friends, I present to you ‘The Jealous Mother Who Probably Shouldn’t Have Had This Baby Because I Have This Feeling That She’s Going To Be The Worst Fucking Mom Ever’

    Please, my baby brother treats his toys better than you probably ever can and will.

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:10 am

      Wow, what hate-filled, small-minded, ignorant mother taught you to hate on women so much, honey? Maybe learn how to READ?

  53. H

    May 18, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    This is disgusting how could any mother be jealous of there own daughter!!! It’s very obvious you have self esteem issues. Sadie is right classic narcisstic mother this makes me sick!

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:09 am

      their, not there….maybe more stay at home mothers need to get something called educations? And what is narcisstic, toots? Sad that it’s all the limited people having all the kids.

  54. jj

    August 26, 2013 at 1:26 am

    Wow, you are so selfish. She is her own person and that’s more interesting than being a clone of you. She is a living human being and she doesn’t exist just to gratify your vanity needs. When you become a parent your life is not just about you anymore, its about sacrificing your selfish needs for your child, whoever she may be, and that is the challenge you now face. You’re also throwing a fit based off of faulty logic, just because someone says “she is beautiful + she does not look look like you” DOES NOT NECESSARILY mean than everyone who does not look like her is not beautiful. Stop sobbing, I’m sure you have a decent life compared to billions of other people on this planet.

    • Penelope

      May 29, 2014 at 4:19 pm

      “she is beautiful + she does not look look like you” DOES NOT NECESSARILY mean than everyone who does not look like her is not beautiful.

      thank you!

  55. Meg

    August 26, 2013 at 2:13 pm

    Ever notice that children are regularly given compliments? It’s because they’re kids, and have a completely different kind of “innocent” beauty to them, which appeals to many people. And our society encourages the building up of kids’ self esteem, to a fault – adults tend to have a tough time complimenting their peers because they’re seen as competition. Same reason why the beautiful woman is flattered less than the average looking one who tries harder. Others often want to boost the one who has less, and assume the one who is more physically blessed doesn’t need a boost.
    Perhaps being so focused on a girl’s looks is the wrong way to go. It’ll encourage her to grow up to be insecure like you. Focus on what really matters….and also, don’t assume that just because others say you look nothing alike that they’re suggesting you’re less attractive. Again, it’s an observation. If they said “she’s beautiful, how did that happen”, then I could understand. But your child isn’t you. She’s her own person, not some accessory to be used to placate your ego.

  56. Meg

    August 26, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    I’d like to add to my earlier comment that adults also assume that other adults are more mature than kids, and have developed a strong sense of self. Basically, that children need more encouragement, so they grow up to be confident. Of course adults need encouragement too, but it’s often saved for those types who like to pretend they’re a lot more than they really are. The types who take multiple pictures of themselves, photoshop them and then fish for compliments by plastering them all over Facebook. Because these people are just like children in some ways – they’re not mentally mature enough and need others to help boost them.

    I think it’s sad that you envy a child, who, by the way, will change as she grows up. She may not even become a physically beautiful adult – who can really know right now? And if she isn’t, what then? Will you condemn her for the exact opposite reason, that she doesn’t ‘become you’ enough? It’s disgusting to be so hyper focused on something that is only skin deep.

  57. Evil Unicorn

    September 13, 2013 at 6:09 am

    That happened to my mother. She was asked if she was really my mom, because I was really pretty. I grew up observing this chip on her shoulder, always trying to one up me. Even went as far as to say she would take away my boyfriend when I was 15. Really shocked me. Even now people insist she is not my mother, they say I’m too pretty. It still makes her angry at 65.

  58. scott

    September 23, 2013 at 6:21 am

    grow up woman

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:08 am

      Pay attention to your own kids, boy, or is that women’s work?

  59. Real mom

    November 4, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Everyone always comment how beautiful my daughter and how she looks like her father. Never for a second did I feel jealous….I’m just glad to have a beautiful healthy baby. You are sick and should seek help or you are just an awful person. Shame on you…your article made me think you should have CPS called on you because you sound like an unfit mother.

  60. Real mom

    November 4, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Everyone always comment how beautiful my daughter and how she looks like her father. Never for a second did I feel jealous….I’m just glad to have a beautiful healthy baby. You are sick and should seek help or you are just an awful person. Shame on you…your article made me think you should have CPS called on you because you sound like an unfit mother.

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:07 am

      Maybe get off your spoiled butt and get into the real world, sugar, because you seem rather hostile and bitter? Maybe unlike you she can speak the truth? Right, everybody is always commenting on your kid….really?

  61. Jo W

    December 5, 2013 at 4:55 am

    I can’t believe the scathing comments by everyone about this post. I think the point she is trying to make is that looks are not the issue here, she feels offended because people are saying she must be ugly as her daughter is pretty. For example, I am dark hair olive skin and my husband fair and blue eyes. Everyone says how gorgeous my son is and oh what beautiful eyes which is fine by me but saying hey he dosen’t look like you thats why he is gorgeous, thats just plain rude. People need to learn to think before they speak. Does it matter who he looks like? I’m not even inclined to say this about other children but obviously some people are so image focused that this is the focus of their conversations.

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:05 am

      Doubt these so-called parents even know how to think.

  62. melissa

    December 10, 2013 at 8:55 am

    G

  63. michelle

    December 10, 2013 at 9:19 am

    Everything she does is deniable. There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Many of her put downs are simply by comparison. She violates your boundaries. She makes you look crazy. She’s selfish and willful. She’s aggressive and shameless. She doesn’t ask. She demands. She is never wrong about anything. She’s envious. She has to be the center of attention all the time.

  64. demi

    December 10, 2013 at 9:24 am

    Why does she have any kids if she always looks pissed with them.

  65. alexis mariah ricci

    December 10, 2013 at 9:36 am

    You hate showing off your kids in public. Child outbursts are completely normal. Do we really have to play this. Gossiping about your kids, how nice. Its a losing battle. Sociopathic children. You have issues with authority figures. Laugh and think. Circle of moms. Brilliant. Destructive parents. Concerned. Manage your anger.

  66. Disturbed Reader!

    December 13, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    YOU ARE SICK, i’m serious go see a professional immediately!! This is the type of person who chooses to drown their children in the bath…

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:05 am

      You need to get help, moron.

  67. DID I JUST READ THIS...

    December 27, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    WOW ARE YOU LIKE OK? YOUR NOT GOING TO DROWN HER IN A CAR OR SOMETHING, RIGHT? YOUR FRIEND WAS RIGHT. SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU ARE NOT OVER THIS ONE BIT OR YOU WOULDN’T HAVE WRITTEN THIS ARTICLE. IF YOU ARE GETTING YOUR PARENTING LESSONS FROM PEOPLE MAGAZINE (WHICH I SINCERELY HOPE YOU ARE NOT) CAN I BOAST ONE INCREDULOUS FACT – MOST OF BRAJOLINA’S CHILDREN ARE ADOPTED SO I DOUBT THEY LOOK LIKE THEIR PARENTS SOMETHING TELLS ME THEY HARBOR NO ILL WILL FOR THIS THOUGH. YOU NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP.
    **AND BTW SCIENTISTS ARE NOW PROVING THAT ROSACEA IS CAUSED BY DEMODEX MITE FAECES , SO GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:04 am

      It’s “you’re”, not “your”. Maybe learn how to read and spell first and then dispense psychiatric advice?

  68. real

    January 15, 2014 at 7:39 pm

    wow, get the fuck over yourself

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:03 am

      Maybe you need to?

  69. R

    January 18, 2014 at 1:18 am

    …and these are the crazies procreating. We require a license to do just about everything else. Thoughts and confessions like these make me wonder why one isn’t required to raise a child. I sincerely hope this was a joke.

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:02 am

      What is crazy is people with no sensitivity or empathy or basic grammar skills being the ones having all the kids. So there.

  70. Antoinette

    January 29, 2014 at 7:30 am

    The comments on this article are really ridiculous, and I’m assuming 90% of them are also fake. I can identify with your sentiments because my daughter is mixed race (I’m black, her dad is white) and it’s hard to see much resemblance between us, though as she gets older, many people comment on how she looks more like me. My daughter is gorgeous – we hear that on a daily basis and it is true. But I can certainly empathize with feeling sour when complete strangers comment on how gorgeous your offspring is, but then immediately comment that your child that you created looks nothing like you. It almost implies that you have little to no right to claim her, which is rude. I appreciate your honesty on this topic.

  71. LittleBabyBug Jones

    February 11, 2014 at 1:44 am

    no matter where i go my son gets compliments on being cute and adorable. he instantly makes friends and delights strangers even when he’s throwing tantrums. i wasn’t prepared for that. i didn’t know people liked babies so much (i’m one who never used to note the existence of babies until i had my son) and instantly complimented babies they thought cute, so this threw me at first. and now i’ve gotten used to it, but i assumed that by the time he became a toddler he’d have grown outta the cuteness. but people are always telling me he’s gonna be a little heartbreaker. i believe it. i don’t know where he gets his cuteness from or his bubbly, mischievous disposition, either, but people insist that he looks like me. so i’m kinda the opposite of the lady in the article. i think i’m average in looks, and further, i think my son looks identical to my relatives, though some times i see his grandmother on his father’s side in his features. but mostly he just looks exactly like my aunts and grandma, all of whom are very attractive and always have gotten compliments from people on their physical appearance. i don’t want people to think he looks like me, necessarily; i’d rather he look like his dad, since Daddy is most definitely attractive 😀

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 8:00 am

      Oh, please get over your not so impressive kid and his Daddy

      Perhaps idol worship is obscuring the fact that people don’t think your child is that precious or cute? Tantrums? You must miss the rolled eyes when people don’t appreciate your angelic being tossing a spoiled hissy fit.

      Please learn how to construct proper sentences because you are confusing people.

    • LittleBabyBug Jones

      June 9, 2014 at 12:09 am

      bitter, much? and perhaps i am missing all the rolled eyes, but i’m fine with that. the point is that i think my kid’s adorable and i’m not ashamed to admit it or broadcast it. and as for my misconstruction of proper sentences- it’s the internet, not a thesis. get over yourself. you’re just mad cuz you’re not cute. nya nya nya!

    • Towntart

      June 9, 2014 at 8:06 am

      Your kid DESERVES you, honey. Let’s see, not very bright, uneducated, deluded, and immature. You only think your little spawn is more attractive because you have nothing else to hang onto in life, toots. Sorry to burst you and your brat’s bubble, dearie. Did all the nurses and doctors go to YOUR room when your kid was born? Didn’t think so…now get a life, you low-class housewife.

    • LittleBabyBug Jones

      June 28, 2014 at 11:27 pm

      maybe not all but so many that i wished they’d go away so they’d let me sleep yeah. and let’s talk about you for a minute. considering i’m not the one going to just about everybody’s comment posting mean hateful things just for the sake of getting a rise, you’re the one who needs to get a life, because *clearly* ye lacketh one. All of those little petty insults i’m sure it took you hours to think of with that rust bucket of a thinking cap of yours just roll right on off me because they are simply NA, and honestly, if it makes you feel like a better person for trying to insult someone you don’t know on the net, then go on ahead and be my guest because apparently you are in bad need of an outlet, even if i personally think you’ve chosen the wrong one. so since you’re still talking to me, i’m just gonna keep regaling you with bullshit to see how long you keep on talking to me like the dimwitted loser you are. i’ve been aiming to exercise my penchant for long-windedness and you’ve provided me with the perfect opportunity to craft this particular talent, so please read closely, lest you miss the education i’ve planned out just for your ignorant behind.
      Ahem: Once upon a time, there was this girl. This girl had freckles and a big nose. She was made of constantly for her big nose, and even though her mother told her to ignore the people who constantly taunted her, she couldn’t help but feel a little more low with each passing day. One day she came to discover this golden lamp in the janitor’s closet at her school. No one knows why she was in the closet in the first place, but that’s neither here nor there. When she rubbed the lamp, a magical genie popped out! and surprise, surprise, he gave her three wishes. She wished for, in this order: a nice house, a nice car, and a posse of loyal friends who’d always have her back and always love her. She never specified the number, so the genie turned the entire school into her loyal band of followers who would never not have her back or not love her. This little girl was so happy she was beside herself with joy. And she lived happily ever after!
      To be continued…

    • Towntart

      June 9, 2014 at 8:08 am

      Maybe get some professional help, too, for your annoying little brat’s temper tantrums. Be a good mother for a change.

    • LittleBabyBug Jones

      June 16, 2014 at 11:33 pm

      ah. poor bitter troll, you. it’s ok. It’s hard out here on these here streets.

    • LittleBabyBug Jones

      June 16, 2014 at 11:42 pm

      also…you’re trolling pretty hard. want a cookie for it? I just bought some at walmart today when i went to get some hair color, because i’d messed around and dyed my hair two tones and didn’t realize that brown and red don’t go together. or rather, i assumed the red would adequately cover over the brown. and my hair was just like, “oh, not so!” and so earlier today i was sitting there penning the world’s next best story, the world’s NEXT BIGGEST HIT on the scale of twilight. a la harry potter, perhaps. and you know what? i think it’s gonna be a hit. I like hermione’s hair color. wasn’t it described as a mousy brown? is that what color your color is, Mr. Towntart? if so, i’d be upset too. I mean, hermione’s hair color, just…like, so totally worked for her, but it does you no favors, i’m sure. after all, you know what they say: blondes have more fun! you must certainly be a brunette. i can feel it. but that’s neither here nor there, because if you stay out in the sun long enough, you know you’ll end up with highlights? yeah, it’s true. i saw it on a friend waaay back in high school. this really cute girl who was on my soccer team. can’t remember her name, but i remember she told me her hair just had natural highlights that intensified with sun exposure. i was like, “whoa, cooool! that’s like, totally narly!” because my hair is one mighty boring color. can you guess what color that would be? my natural color, that is. because i already mentioned, i believe, that i dyed my hair two tones. red and brown. but that’s not all i dyed them. i dyed my roots gold. and they are so pretty, just like REAL gold! i had to do that to give myself hope, to remind me of the sun. because where i stay, we get TOO much sun that we hide inside all day like vampires. or like bats in a cave, secluded from the world. and we come out all ashy and pale and crap. Real ish! i’m not lyin, bro! brudda man, for realz, yo? YO?!? and so, what i’m sayin’ is that we NEED the reminder that the sun is friendly. because it gets pretty darn hostile around where i stay. don’t you wanna come to my neck of the woods, dear sweet inhibited little Mr. Towntart? I mean, you’re not the only one who can troll. *blushes* i happen to enjoy reverse trolling myself. And i love to write/type and i can type very fast without tiring. it’s a lost art. i picked it up when i was only two years old! can you believe that? i was pecking away on keys back when typewriters were all the rage! oh, but i’m letting you in on my age, and a lady NEVER reveals her age. but you probably would know that, though. i’m not sure. gentlemen always have the good sense *not* to inquire after a lady her age. are you a gentleman, Mr. Towntart? i suppose a troll *could* be a gentleman, but i’ve never heard of it. but then, there’s a lotta shit out there i have never heard of. or, rather, of which i’ve never heard. gawd, i forgot you’re runnin ‘roun here expectin’ thesis-level material. i’ll be most happy to supply such a tall order, JUST FOR YOU *wink wink*

    • LittleBabyBug Jones

      June 28, 2014 at 11:14 pm

      well, it certainly wouldn’t be “for a change” but i’ll pass your advice along to someone who could use it more, and also politely direct you to take plenty of helpings of the same if you have kids currently or end up with some in the future. I’ll also be passing on the unnecessary professional help, as you need it far more than i do since you’re a, well, a TownTART.

  72. Mischa Brown

    March 23, 2014 at 3:36 am

    Normally parents are HAPPY that their child is better-looking than them. In fact, most parents want their children to be much better than they are. Hmm….
    Either way, it’s good that you’re being so honest here. however, it kind of scares me tat you would even think of being jealous of your own daughter.

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 7:56 am

      It scares me how short-sighted and insensitive some parents are.

  73. Marisa

    April 5, 2014 at 3:02 am

    Due to the negative comments on here, I highly doubt you will see this. I’ll give it a chance anyways. When you had your daughter it is clear you neglected how to love yourself. You need to stop comparing yourself to people. Especially your daughter! It doesn’t do any good. It just makes you bitter and unhappier. Find people who appreciate you, and compliment you. Start finding things you love about yourself and keep going with that. You daughter doesn’t need to look like you. You only think so because of the attention she is receiving. Trust me, it wouldn’t be a big change it she was identical. People always notice babies. I hope you’ve found a way to love your self and realize how beautiful you truly are. One day your little girl is going to look up to you and if she sees you as a self hating person, who compares their self to others. She may too.

  74. Renae

    April 8, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    Really? I cannot believe the audacity of the commentators here. It’s disgusting how ‘okay’ it is to tear people down online nowadays. I didn’t sense jealousy from the article at all. In fact I thought it was pure, honest and a step in the right direction. What I picked up is that you were simply stating that it bothered you that people inferred that your daughter was almost too pretty to be yours, not that you wished you were as pretty as her. I think every (healthy) mother desires for their daughter to be a prettier version of ‘themselves’. And even if the child doesn’t look like them (which happens quite often) the last thing they want to hear is that the preciouis child that they carried, loved and nurtured since the moment they were created doesn’t look as if they ‘belong’ to them. After a while, that is hurtful. Point, blank, period. Most parents want their children to be a positive reflection of themselves. I think the author was just saying it is insulting to imply that the child is not, based off looks. Great article!! Don’t lose your transparency!!!

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 7:55 am

      Right on!
      Maybe some parents need to learn what basic sensitivity is.

  75. Anastasia

    April 21, 2014 at 9:48 pm

    I agree with the author. I have the same issue and my daughter is beautiful! she looks more like her daddy and it’s fantastic! sometimes people are trying to make you feel low whereas they should in opposite compliment you on being a great mum and doing a good job raising and giving a birth to a such a healthy and beautiful child! I think that people sometimes can be also jealous of you and focus on a baby’s appearance more than anything else in order to put you aside and sort of spoil your happiness to be a mum! some people are commenting absolutely not thinking…but some people are thinking…I got over it as I love my daughter so much! and you know…what…who cares what they say?? they can’t take away your happiness and you know that you are beautiful!! so…take it easy and you know what…when your daughter grows up she will look like you as well as she could possibly has your character, habits and etc..good luck!! A

  76. nanett

    April 24, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    I think you are brave to explore your feelings openly. The action of self reflection is setting a good example for your daughter. It was a good read. Thank you for your post. Good luck and enjoy your beautiful daughter!

  77. Eeep!

    May 1, 2014 at 12:39 pm

    I found this pretty disturbing. I hope this woman seeks counseling. Perhaps she can find the root of her behavior before it adversely affects her child. 🙁

    • TownTart

      May 12, 2014 at 7:38 am

      She’s speaking the truth. Why don’t people like you get intensive counselling, as I think lack of sensitivity and empathy is a much deeper problem. I take it you had mindless parents who just weren’t bright enough to know how to be tactful with people?

  78. Asia

    July 8, 2014 at 10:31 am

    What a pissy little bitch. Some people really should not have children. Jealous of your own child? Ugh. No matter how much you tell yourself you’re a good mother, if you feel this way, you’re not.

  79. Jenn S

    July 26, 2014 at 9:51 am

    You need therapy, this was a horrible thing to read and I’m appalled at how horrible and selfish you are. You didn’t get a compliment every time your daughter did and that pissed you off? How immature and selfish you going to wreck havoc on your daughters self esteem unless you start trying to fix yourself!

  80. Betsy Boss

    July 27, 2014 at 1:48 am

    She is sad because they are calling the baby but saying the baby doesn’t look like hers. WHICH implies that she isn’t the source of beauty, I know a few moms like that and they arent at all jealous of their daughters.

  81. kate morales

    August 4, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    I have three beautiful daughters and I get told that a lot. I dont have to have validation or commentary on them looking like me. I am sure YOU are just as beautiful. Just know that you are important and you are her mom and the bond you can make between the two of you will last a life time and that is priceless. Please throw all of this out of your mind it is not healthy and you never want that envy or resentfulness to others spill over to your daughter ; who you made! God bless and as I said, ” throw away that thought right now!”

  82. christine ho

    August 15, 2014 at 3:49 am

    narcissistic mothers are the worst.

  83. Buffy

    August 25, 2014 at 6:13 am

    Wow, this is strange. I love to hear praise for my daughter– I never show it or start it but I love it because for me she is the most beautiful kid in the world ( yeah, like every mother thinks of her own child– but I’d never say that in real live ;-)). And when people tell me she looks like me I get a bit agitated because I think she does not— she has this beautiful cat-like eyes ( my eyes are not beautiful ) , has this long, dark eyelashes (nope, I have short, whiteblond ones–invisible) and looks just like her father if he were a beautiful tiny girl. So, if someone tells me, she looks like me I feel a bit like stepping back and saying:” Look again– she is beautiful!” But of course I smile and say “Thank you”. Nobody needs to know how crazy I am;-))
    My brain knows that she might in reality be not the most beautiful girl in the world, but for me she is–she’ll always be.

  84. yojojo jojo

    August 25, 2014 at 10:41 pm

    its all makeup not that good looking

  85. please don't have more kids

    September 3, 2014 at 4:48 am

    ew lmao what the fuck? I love how the people in favor of this lady think they’re being all clever with their comebacks to people saying how messed up this is, when the people they’re against have way more upvotes and more comments thinking the same thing as them. This is some fucked up shit right here.

  86. anon

    October 29, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    Suck it up what the fuck. You sound as if you were 12, grow the fuck up.

  87. tikiya

    November 14, 2014 at 2:04 pm

    who wrote this is a narcissistic bitch, poor little girl

  88. Pingback: The Compliments We Give Babies Would Humiliate Adults

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