Mother Of The Year Buys Daughter 12 Bags Of Cocaine For Her 18th Birthday
Buying presents for a teenager is hard. They change so quickly! One minute you know they are obsessed with One Direction, and the next thing you know they are looking at the One Direction ice cream cake you surprised them with and saying, “Gaaaawd, mom. Do you think I am 12?” Teens are very hard to please, and one mother tried way too hard this week when she decided to get her daughter a present any 18-year-old would love: A limo ride and 12 bags of cocaine.
According to Vice, a Dina Lohan wannabe from Kent, England, wanted her daughter to have a grand and memorable 18th birthday, so she arranged to hire a limousine to take the girl for an evening of partying, and she also got 12 bags of cocaine for about $460. (Vice says that indicates she purchased mediocre quality cocaine, and I am just going to have to take their word for it.)
But the party never got underway, because police showed up at the house and found all the coke hidden in a windowsill.
The mother, Nicola Austen, was arrested but escaped jail because she has an elderly mother and a 14-year-old son at home, and the judge thought it would be too difficult for them to manage if Austen were incarcerated, so she got away with a 9-month suspended sentence and 250 hours of community service. It seems pretty light, especially considering that she has six previous convictions, at least one of which was for drug possession.
Austen does not sound repentant, and she says she thinks the whole thing has been blown out of proportion. I mean, really. It was just 12 bags of cocaine for an 18-year-old girl.
“It’s all been blown out of proportion. I’ve had enough. It isn’t exactly the scoop of the century, is it? It was a party,” Austen said.
Teenagers are hard to shop for, but bags of drugs are not a good way to make your kid like you. The limo was a good idea, but maybe instead of 12 bags of cocaine she could have given her kid a pair of designer shoes, or a new computer, or one of those cool new rose gold iPhones. Kids love that kind of stuff. Hell, give her an ironic One Direction ice cream cake. Just don’t give her 12 bags of coke, because that’s a good way to make sure one of you winds up in jail at some point.
(Photo: iStockPhoto/GettyImages/ FotoMaximum)