1. Kids Don't Care About Lollipop Clothes
I promise- none of them will appreciate the super hero masks and capes that you painstakingly designed, cut and attached to 24 lollipops. Naked candy will be just as big of a hit and you won't be up until 2 am making teensy clothing for Blow Pops.
2. Other Kids Don't Need A Picture Of Your Kid
For relatives, this is cute, but if my kid brings home a Valentine with a photo of a random classmate, I can promise you it's going straight into the garbage. I have enough trouble keeping track of my own kid's artwork and photos. I am not hanging on to a pic of your precious snowflake.
3. We Don't Want Your Germs
It might be precious to assemble tiny Valentine s'mores kits to hand out. Go ahead and do it but know that in the midst of flu season, I am not letting my kid eat it knowing you and your kid with his booger hands probably touched it. Don't waste your time. Or your hand-made heart-shaped marshmallows.
4. Rainbow Loom Labor
Either you are staying up until the wee hours giving yourself a hand cramp making two dozen Rainbow Loom bracelets for the entire class or you are putting your kid to work after school every day for a week. And don't forget the twee die-cut cards that must be attached to the bracelet or else, why even bother?
5. Homemade Artisan Chocolates For The Discerning Kindergartner
Why, when there are Hershey's available at every Target in the land? Little kids don't care, trust me. If you do make them, save them for yourself. That's just Mom 101.
6. Kids Don't Care About Puns
Here is what a kid will think when they see a toy or candy attached to a teeny card with a perfect pun scrawled on it in a perfect font: "CANDY/TOY! SHIT, I BETTER TEAR OFF THIS DUMB CARD SO I CAN EAT/PLAY WITH IT!" Just...don't bother. I'm saving you time, here.
A brief summary: kids do not care about delicate, die-cut, heart tags. They don't care about sweet, little, crafty doo-dads or totally clever twists of phrase. They care about candy, cupcakes, licensed character Valentine cards and having a fun classroom party with their friends. If you find real joy in this sort of thing, more power to you. Just know that kids will have fun with the simplest of pleasures and no one needs to go nuts here.