1. How early will I have to be up on Christmas morning?
At my house, I can already tell you- it will be very, very early. And we always stay up late on Christmas Eve setting the Santa scene so the idea of being awake at 5:45 am makes me break out in metaphorical hives. It's a long day and starting it at dawn is less than ideal.
2. Oh God, school break is two weeks long.
I just realized that yesterday at around 10 am and the panic set it. It was only Day One. I love my kids but two weeks of trying to occupy them in crappy weather is a long time.
3. What gift did I forget to buy?
There is always one. At least we have this handy guide to drug store stocking stuffers to help us cobble it all together.
4. The kids f**cking snooped for gifts. What the f**k.
You can always tell when things have been...disrupted. All that trouble and all that fighting through crowds at the mall for the little rascals to ruin the surprises?? RAGE.
5. My cookies are the suckiest cookies to ever suck.
(Image: author's own)
No, seriously, they are. The above is a picture is of cookies I made yesterday along with a shot of what Food Network magazine claimed they should look like. And I know some of you can bake so feel free to apply this to "suckiest present wrapper" or "suckiest Christmas dinner maker"- whatever you are paranoid that you suck at around the holidays.
6. Maybe the kids will leave me alone for 10 minutes once they have new toys to play with.
I am so tired of answering all the "mommy" requests. They are each getting something electronic for Christmas and I'm hoping it will make the rest of the break bearable.
7. When can I take down this fricking tree?
I love my tree, I really do, but it is starting to shed needles, the kids keep trying to move ornaments around and I'm sick of watering it. I love you, tree- but is it mean to the kids to take it down at 7 am on December 26th?
8. Is it acceptable to leave the Santa gifts unwrapped?
By some miracle, I am actually done wrapping but it's been so hectic lately that this thought crossed my mind. It's never been my family's tradition but I was feeling desperate to shed just one thing from my to-do list.
9. I SO do not want to see X family member this week.
We all have at least one.
10. Did I buy enough wine?
It is #9 that usually leads us to this thought. And the answer to this is no. There is never enough wine the week of Christmas.
(Image: A and N Photography/Shutterstock)