being a mom

10 Ways Motherhood Changes Everyone

By  | 

Moms Are All AlikeAs mothers, we are undeniably different in a myriad of ways. The choices we make for our children since birth sometimes come to define the way we think of ourselves as parents. Some of us breastfeed exclusively until our babies aren’t babies. Some go straight to formula. Some homeschool or unschool or nature school while others prefer good old fashioned public school. Some cosleep and others think a crib down the hall ensures everyone gets the best rest. No matter how tolerant we are of each other’s choices, we undoubtedly have opinions about what is best. That’s because we’re mothers and we (mostly) care deeply about these seemingly menial choices. At times, they can feel like the most important thing in our universe.

But as a parent for the past four years and a half years and now, a mother of two, I’ve come to realize that we all have a lot more in common than we think. Because something happens to us when we become mothers and it has little to do with whether there’s pampers or organic cloth covering our baby’s bums. It’s an undeniable change and a shift in the way we see the world that every true mother experiences. Whether you became a mother by accident or tried to get pregnant for years, whether you adopted or gave birth, whether you fell into the role of mothering or stepped up to care for children that you now see as your own.

Here are a few things that are universal and thus, what makes us mothers:

1. Your priorities change- When parenthood strikes, most mother’s experience a huge shift in priorities. Though you can hopefully maintain some semblance of a life outside of your children (if you’re very good at multitasking, I suppose), you likely still believe them to be the most important people in the universe. You would do anything for them which is both a blessing and a curse. Sometimes you fantasize about going back to lazy, carefree, pre-spit-up afternoons but in reality, you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

2. You experience love in a whole new way- No matter how many times you’ve been in love, there is no love like the way you love your child. It’s torturous and cruel and beautiful all at the same time. It keeps you up at night, gives you heart palpitations and causes you to worry like you never thought possible. It dominates and demands your attention. And when you become a parent a second or third time, it doesn’t divide, it multiplies.

3. You know new levels of fear and frustration- Nothing can get your emotions jacked like your children can. Whether it’s a colicky baby screaming bloody murder, a disobedient toddler who ignores your every request or a headstrong teenager, you have likely been practicing some form of deep breathing since you became a mother.

4. You think of time differently- Whether it’s hours, minutes, or days of the week, time has a whole new meaning. Your day is divided up between lunch time, nap time, cranky time, uber-cranky time, “do not come anywhere near this house” time, bath time and (thank Jesus) bedtime. And when you’re trying to remember a specific event, you can’t quite remember the month or year but rather “that was before little Billy moved into his big boy bed!” or “that was when Chuck didn’t have teeth.” The passage of time also becomes more frighteningly rapid when you have children who go from dependent little sucklings to preschoolers to middle schoolers at lightening speed. Soon every milestone feels like you’ve got another limb in the grave.

5. You need a vacation from your vacation- Vacations are still fun, but a very specific kind of fun that demands a very necessary kind of patience. You still want to take them but just packing up the car and getting to your destination is a feat in and of itself. Vacations don’t mean you get to stay out late, snooze on the beach and take body shots anymore. Instead, they mean you’ll be cleaning sand out of a lot of little crevices and scheduling a massage promptly when you return home. A day at the beach might feel more like a day at the lumber yard but you’d never know it from the pictures.

Pages: 1 2

80 Comments

  1. Tina

    July 17, 2014 at 11:48 am

    I found most of these sweet and definitely true (by observation only since I’m not a mother yet). However, I find it a bit disrespectful that you said that only mothers (or even parents in general) can work hard. People do not work hard only because they have children, people work hard because they have good work ethnic and are striving for something good in their lives (whether that something is building a great life for their kids or themselves and other people close around them). I have met both lazy mothers and lazy childfree individuals, as well as the most hardworking and dedicated mothers and the most hardworking and dedicated childfree individuals. It’s not a trait of motherhood, it’s a trait of someone’s character as a human being.

    • SpecialKay

      July 17, 2014 at 11:56 am

      Agree! As a working mom of 2 boys under 4 years old, I can personally vouch I definitely do NOT do dishes like it’s my favorite. I do that shit begrudgingly, and only until the kids are old enough to take over!

    • Spongeworthy

      July 17, 2014 at 12:06 pm

      I can’t be the only one who can’t wait til their kids get a little bigger to start handling some chores, can I? I thought part of the reason you have kids is to give them the stuff to do around the house you don’t want to do. It builds character!

    • Surly Canuck

      July 17, 2014 at 1:14 pm

      My husband already has a chore list set for the Sea Monkey. Poor thing.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 17, 2014 at 2:08 pm

      Ha! My son is 2 and I think my husband is dreaming of the day he can send the kid out to shovel the driveway all by himself.

    • Justme

      July 17, 2014 at 1:30 pm

      My three-year-old has “chores” which basically means that she has to put away her own laundry, help clean up after dinner, rotate laundry loads…and anything else I can get her to do. My philosophy is that I start from the very beginning with the expectation that she is capable of helping around the house, maybe it won’t be such a battle in the future?! At least that’s my theory…we’ll see how it pans out.

      ETA: And on this note, my husband and I have recently discovered that we vastly disagree on the notion of an allowance. He thinks she should get paid for doing her chores around the house, while I feel like picking up her room, putting toys away, cleaning up after dinner, etc. is just stuff that she should be expected to do as a member of our household. We put a hold on the discussion, but I’m curious as to what other people believe or do about chores and allowances in their house?

    • AlexMMR

      July 17, 2014 at 1:52 pm

      We aren’t there yet (my girls are 2), but I don’t think a quid pro quo, chores for money exchange is the best idea. It leads to business style negotiations, perhaps your kid will figure they don’t mind giving up a dollar if it means they don’t have to make their bed, etc. It makes chores negotiable. I would think of an allowance as a privilege like any other. You give your child some spending money so they can buy things they enjoy. You give them access to a tv so they can watch things they enjoy. Don’t do chores, and some of your privileges go away, this time allowance, next time tv or video game, etc etc.

    • Hibbie

      July 17, 2014 at 1:56 pm

      I had chores but never got an allowance. I won’t give an allowance, either. However, my parents were pretty generous if I ever asked for spending money given it was a reasonable amount. I think that’s fair.

    • Justme

      July 17, 2014 at 9:18 pm

      That’s pretty much how my parents were – I would get paid for extra duties I did around the house like dusting or mopping, but just for picking up her toys…no way. I’ve also seen some things on Pinterest where you list the “extra” chores along with the payment and then if the kids ask for money, point them towards the sign.

    • tori uk

      July 18, 2014 at 11:14 am

      I agree, we call it pocket money in the uk. I never had it but still had to learn the basics of looking after my self, after all that is what we are doing. Teaching our kids life in a sense starting with basic jobs around the house. But yeah if I wanted to go to the cinema with friends I got given a couple pound and off I went. 🙂

    • Spongeworthy

      July 17, 2014 at 2:08 pm

      Totally with you about starting the expectations young. My guy will take his clean pjs and put them away, take his bowl/plate into the kitchen when he’s done, and wipe up little spills. I’m just hoping it sticks.
      As for allowance, my sister and I both got a weekly allowance, but it was never presented as payment for chores. We had things we were expected to do around the house, but it wasn’t like $1 for making the bed, $2 for doing dishes, etc. It was more like, you get X amount each week, but if we acted up or didn’t do the chores we were supposed to do, we could lose it for the week. It was also implied that what we got was it for spending money. If we wanted extra money for a movie or something, my dad would find some stuff for us to do around the house that was above and beyond our weekly responsibilities, and we were told what he would pay us to do it.

    • the_ether

      July 17, 2014 at 8:00 pm

      No way. Chores are just things you do as part of being a member of the household. As to whether allowance is paid for extra stuff…I would say rather that it’s their part of the household budget to spend, and you might withhold it if they don’t do their chores, but you wouldn’t pay them 2/3 of it if they did 2/3 of their chores.

    • jane

      July 17, 2014 at 9:36 pm

      Our kids get an allowance for doing chores, but there are expectations of work that they don’t get paid for. For example, my daughter gets $5/week for emptying the dishwasher every morning and setting the table for dinner. Those are her “jobs” that she earns $ for. However, she still has to clean her room, her dresser, put away her own folded clothes, etc. Those are her responsibility. We divide it as kind of stuff that goes above and beyond taking care of their own stuff is the job.

      PS – she’ll also clean the whole bathroom (including toilet, sink and tub) for $3. That’s a friggin’ deal.

    • The Kez

      July 18, 2014 at 2:20 am

      I’m on your side. My oldest is nearly 3 so I guess we won’t have this discussion for a little while yet, but my view is that everyone in the family is required to contribute to keep the household running. My son helps me empty the dishwasher, make beds, put things away and unpack groceries. He won’t get paid for that stuff when old enough but anything above and beyond – say washing the car or pulling weeds in the garden we will pay an allowance for.

    • Justme

      July 18, 2014 at 8:55 am

      That’s kind of what I figure we’ll do….and then once she gets to middle school age, I am farming her out as a baby-sitter in our neighborhood because THAT is some good money.

    • tSubh Dearg

      July 18, 2014 at 3:34 am

      The Beau’s kids get €5 a week allowance and they are expected to help out around the house when they are here, unloading/loading the dishwasher, picking up if we have guests coming and helping their dad with the washing up.
      We have also recently introduced the idea of extraordinary chores, which are things like mowing the lawn, scrubbing the bathrooms and a couple of other things I hate doing that we offer an additional €5 for if a child offers to do them. So far, none of them have taken us up on the offer, though the 14 year old was complaining about having no money.

    • Hibbie

      July 17, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      My daughter fetches me stuff from the fridge like it’s an honor and a privilege. Definitely one of my biggest parenting successes! I cannot wait until she’s old enough to do dishes and mow the lawn/shovel snow. I’m totally going to send her around the neighborhood with a shovel to earn some money and she’s going to like it!

    • Spongeworthy

      July 17, 2014 at 2:02 pm

      My guy already loves “helping” shovel and mow the lawn. He has his own little mower, shovel, little tools, and a little vacuum. My husband and I consider it training for the future.

    • sarahbregel

      July 17, 2014 at 1:09 pm

      thats why it reads “even if you hate them”. and i do HATE doing dishes. but i still do them CONSTANTLY.

    • liz

      July 17, 2014 at 12:00 pm

      It didn’t state that only mothers are capable of working hard, just that children add to any work even if it’s outside the home

    • Tina

      July 17, 2014 at 12:11 pm

      Well even if she may have not had that intention, that’s what was definitely indicated through the wording. The list was about how motherhood changes you, and it simply said “you work hard” (not even just “harder”) So that implies that in their previous childfree state someone did not work hard at all and as a mother now do.

    • sarahbregel

      July 17, 2014 at 1:11 pm

      are you kidding? no, it does not imply that at all. mamas work hard. its a GIVEN. goes without saying. of course people that are not mothers can work hard, as well. THIS POST is about mothers.

    • Tina

      July 17, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      Look, I already said that I didn’t know what your exact intention was, it might have been miscommunicated and I understand now that you weren’t trying to be insulting. But just looking at it in terms of just the actual writing, you most definitely implied that working hard is exclusively a trait of being a mother. The post should either be retitled or reworded. That’s all I was trying to say.

    • sarahbregel

      July 17, 2014 at 4:33 pm

      Tina, I stand corrected. The original title of this post was “things all mothers have in common” number 10 being they all work hard. Sometimes titles are changed without writers knowledge and I wasn’t aware of it at the time I commented back to you. I was not understanding how that interpretation could’ve been made. I would not have chosen this title bc you are right, it does seem to imply what you say. Apologies.

    • Tina

      July 17, 2014 at 4:46 pm

      No worries, it happens. Thanks for clarifying. Now it all seems to make a lot more sense! lol

    • guest

      July 17, 2014 at 2:37 pm

      I really hope this is your last time writing for Mommyish. Based on the few comments I’ve seen you’re quite a spastic dick.

    • guest

      July 17, 2014 at 2:52 pm

      That’s meant to say. She’s being harassed for writing a MOM article on a MOM website. I mean if it’s that condescending for the childfree maybe they should go on over to childfreeish.com and mope there.

    • the_ether

      July 17, 2014 at 8:02 pm

      I really hope this is your last time commenting on Mommyish. Based on this comment you’re quite the fan of ableist slurs.

    • TheLittleMermaid

      July 17, 2014 at 8:08 pm

      …. since we’re on a parenting website and all.

    • Guest

      July 17, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      I agree, it didn’t say anything about “only mothers can work hard” nor did it say people work hard only because they have children. So sick of people getting defensive about ridiculous stuff like this.

    • sarahbregel

      July 17, 2014 at 12:53 pm

      definitely not implying ONLY mothers work hard. it simply reads “you work hard” bc I believe all true mothers work their asses off daily. not that anyone else doesn’t

    • Brenda David

      July 17, 2014 at 6:21 pm

      Im&nbspΜ­­­­­­а­­­­­­κ­­­­ing&nbspover&nbsp$­­­­7k&nbspa&nbspΜ­­­­­­օ­­­­­­ո­­­­­­τ­­­­­­հ&nbspW­­­­­­օ­­­­­­r­­­­­­κing&nbsppart&nbsptime.&nbspI&nbspkept&nbsphearing &nbspother&nbsppeople&nbsptell&nbspme&nbsphow&nbsp much&nbspΜ­­­­­օ­­­­­ո­­­­­℮­­­­­У&nbspthey&nbspcan&nbspget&nbspр­­­­­а­­­­­i­­­­­d&nbspօ­­­­­ո­­­­­l­­­­­i­­­­­ո­­­­­℮&nbspso&nbspI&nbspdecided&nbspto&nbsplook&nbspinto &nbspit.&nbspWell,&nbspit&nbspwas&nbspall&nbsptrue &nbspand&nbsphas&nbsptotally&nbspchanged&nbspmy &nbsplife.&nbspGet&nbspMore&nbspInfo,…&nbsphttp://Makecashonlinejob&#x32&#48&#x31&#52unionsNpztbp

      ▋▋▋ ▋�▋▋ ▋▋▋ ▋▋�▋ ▋▋▋ ▋▋▋ ▋▋▋

    • lynda-NBA

      July 18, 2014 at 7:02 am

      Discover An Unknown Method For Quickly Easily Training
      Even The Most Stubborn Child in 3 Short Days
      http://bit.ly/UdBbla

    • Véronique the Attachment Shark

      July 18, 2014 at 7:53 pm

      wow a spambot responded to a fellow spambot… i think they’re trying to start a conversation!!

    • meela

      July 17, 2014 at 5:21 pm

      I agree. You have common sense 🙂

  2. Spongeworthy

    July 17, 2014 at 12:15 pm

    Honestly, for myself, I’m about half-and-half on these. Some ring true, others not so much. I don’t feel older than I am, for instance. Maybe I did a bit when he was very young, but not now. As another commenter pointed out, the “work hard” one doesn’t fit for me either. It’s different, of course, having a kid to watch out and provide for, but I wouldn’t necessarily say I work harder.
    I think in some ways parenthood doesn’t change a person, but it can amplify what is already there. Some people who are naturally anxious or fearful will find that gets turned up to 11 once the baby arrives. The people on Facebook who are sanctimonious or self-righteous about parenting? They were probably always like that. Now it’s just channeled toward parenting. If hey weren’t parents, it would be about something else.

    • CMJ

      July 17, 2014 at 12:20 pm

      I would say – I always worked hard…now I just work hard, differently?

      I mean, I don’t have kids, but I feel a lot of these things without having kids. Add kids in and it would be the same but different. I’m not hating on the list or anything I have just seen motherhood manifest different ways in different people.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 17, 2014 at 12:32 pm

      Some of these changes are just life and getting older in general. My priorities changed a bunch between 22-30, and I was child free that whole time. I think saying “things are the same, but different” is actually pretty apt.
      I guess I just disagree that all moms (or parents) change in the exact same way after kids. Some people do a complete 180 after kids, but plenty don’t. They’re the same, just with kids. And I definitely disagree that having kids makes people more compassionate towards others. Even here we’ve seen plenty of parents who rip other people to shreds because they dare to have a different outlook on something.

    • NoMissCleo...JustMe

      July 17, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      Yes, it depends on surrounding circumstances. I’ve changed in the past few years, not necessarily because I’ve become a mother but because I’m 30 years old and a full-fledged adult….child or no child.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 17, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      Right! Some of these changes, for a lot of people, are just inevitable as a part of becoming an adult.

    • NoMissCleo...JustMe

      July 17, 2014 at 12:39 pm

      I agree with you completely. Perhaps some of these can apply to my life, but I could never assume any of these things are true for another person.

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      July 17, 2014 at 12:53 pm

      This is pretty much what I was going to say. I’m just gonna let you comment on my behalf from now on.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 17, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      LOL nooooo…I like your comments too much!

  3. LadyClodia the Modest Rat

    July 17, 2014 at 12:18 pm

    5. I think I’m about ready to give up completely on vacations. We’ve been extremely unlucky with things surrounding vacations lately. It’s not worth it anymore.

    • aCongaLine

      July 17, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      There are no vacations… only “trips,” which are so. much. more. work. lol. totally not worth it, though. would much rather watch netflix.

  4. LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

    July 17, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    I’m about half and half on these too, except for #7. I’m especially affected now when I hear of someone losing a child because I think of my own potential reaction if something horrible every happened. To be honest, I’m a strong woman and can deal with a lot, but I’m not sure I could make it through that or even if I’d want to.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      July 17, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      I think that goes back to individual personalities once again! I remember my mother saying that she couldn’t watch any movies in which a parent died, which is why I’m 28 and still haven’t seen The Lion King. I figured I might be the same way after she died, but nope…if a replay of the last Super Bowl and Bambi were playing at the same time, I know which one would set the waterworks off in this Broncos fan. While I definitely get why you feel anxious and sad whenever you hear about a dead child, I also can see how this very point illustrates the mixed reaction to these points!

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      July 17, 2014 at 4:18 pm

      I was thinking in particular of Sandy Hook when I wrote my comment. I was an emotional mess for weeks after it happened, in part because I have a little boy around that same age. Ten years ago, while I would’ve thought the events horrible, I don’t think I would’ve had the same visceral reaction.

      It’s hard though too to separate some of these points from becoming a mother to getting older to just life changes in general. I’ve definitely become more bitchy and less patient in the past few years, but is it due to motherhood? The fact that I’m in my mid 45s and fast getting to the point where I give no more fucks? (Not to mention pre-menopausal.) Is it because I switched from a cushy part-time job to a more stressful full-time one? A combo of all?

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      July 17, 2014 at 7:47 pm

      Sandy Hook…yeah. Enough said. 🙁

      I definitely agree that changes take place due to simple circumstances of aging or changing life situations, though. It’s not quite applicable to anything on this list, but two years ago, I thought I’d probably settle in Denver. I still love my home city and state, but I discovered that I really love filmmaking, so now I am moving to SoCal in order to be in a better position to pursue that passion. I guess that does fall under the category of changing priorities–two years ago, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere that was more than 90 minutes from a ski slope!

      I sincerely hope I never truly understand my mother. But I’m definitely turning into a female version of my father, so luckily, that seems unlikely.

  5. Guest

    July 17, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    I would like to know what lazy, carefree days I had before having kids. I went to college, then spent six years active duty and going underway constantly then working in a career field where I wanted to get ahead and was working 10 hour days plus time on the weekends to be able to move up in my career. I have more carefree time as a parent than I ever did before because I was able to get six months off work and get to spend the next six months working part time from home before I have to go back in full time (but only a 40 hour week now) when she turns a year old. Colic, feedings every two hours and her not being able to sleep were easy compared to my before kids life.

  6. allisonjayne

    July 17, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    Oh #7. I used to be fairly immune to sappy commercials, sad news stories, movies, etc. I was pretty proud of my ability to not cry when everyone else is crying. It’s not like I was heartless, I still felt badly for people, but it didn’t affect me the same way it seemed to other people.

    Now? I lose it when it comes to anything with kids. News stories about kids dying or being lost? I cannot hold it together. I can’t even read about them. Terrifying, horrifying, just shakes me to the core and I can’t think about anything else.

    • Hibbie

      July 17, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      I’m weepier in general after having a kid and I don’t really know why. I never used to cry until I got pregnant, then the flood gates opened and they will not close! It’s really annoying. Oh well, at least I can still rely on resting bitch face.

    • Cruelty Cupcake

      July 17, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Same. I used to get high and binge watch true crime shows, but now I can barely listen to the news without weeping. I watched that documentary Dear Zachary (if you haven’t seen it and you’re feeling like a masochist, don’t read anything about it beforehand) over a year ago and I am crying right now just thinking about it. I’m so pathetic now.

    • lisa

      July 17, 2014 at 9:20 pm

      Dear Zachary made me bawl. I’m glad I watched it alone. Major ugly cry, and I’m not usually a crier.

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      July 17, 2014 at 9:43 pm

      Dear Zachary has been in my Netflix streaming cue for months because I keep trying to steel myself to watch it. Since it’s been there for nearly a year, that obviously hasn’t happened yet.

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      July 17, 2014 at 4:22 pm

      Same here.

    • Guest

      July 17, 2014 at 5:26 pm

      Why is it that you don’t care about adults dying as much as kids dying? That makes me sad 🙁

      I thought adults feel pain, have things to live for, and have feelings too.

  7. AlexMMR

    July 17, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    How about – You become acutely aware of your own mortality. Something happens to your body before you have children and it sucks but you know you’ll recover, but after children it causes this fear that todays aches and pains could mean you won’t see your kids graduate high school. I never used to fear dying, but now I do have fear of dying before XYZ milestone and missing it.

    Maybe that’s just for those of us who became parents for the first time around the end of our thirties.

    • guest

      July 17, 2014 at 2:40 pm

      I think this is true of many people..and depending on the person when it hits them is different. I remember at about 23 I became really aware of my mortality and wanted to make sure I got to have kids before I passed. My husband a job change prompted it. Other people have the kids and then realize they don’t want to die and leave them. It is such a personal and vastly different thing for everyone.

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      July 17, 2014 at 4:21 pm

      I’ve always feared dying, but I fear it now even more precisely for what you stated: I don’t want to miss out on all the cool stuff my kid might be doing.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      July 17, 2014 at 7:37 pm

      Me too, and now my almost 5 year old realized just last night that I am going to die and she won’t be able to see me anymore and I’ve spent the last 24 hours trying ease fears without showing that it scares the crap out of me, too.

    • Harriet Meadow

      July 17, 2014 at 6:11 pm

      100% THIS. I never used to fear dying, but now I’m constantly thinking of awful scenarios where I die in a horrible freak accident, and I have awful thoughts like “If I died now, my son wouldn’t remember me.” =(

    • The Kez

      July 18, 2014 at 2:24 am

      YES. Now I think, who will care for my kids, will they remember me and will they know how much I loved them. Mine are 1 and nearly 3 and it is terrifying to think that if I died now they would have no adult memory of how deeply I love them.

    • Danielle

      July 18, 2014 at 8:57 am

      So true. My husband’s dad died when my husband was 16 and now he really fears dying young and missing out on our kids’ milestones.

  8. Michael

    July 17, 2014 at 2:56 pm

    We have had a new baby at http://www.USHUD.com and it is the son of a very important team member. Her work has been dealt out to others to handle but they can not make up the difference that she makes when she is here. Her baby is going to change a lot for her and, yes I do believe she is the hardest working person that I know. As a man I just can not get my head around people that want to take on such a huge responsibility and then try to balance a normal life and work schedule around it. I have a dog and that is more than I can handle sometimes.

    • Hibbie

      July 17, 2014 at 3:50 pm

      Is this a real comment or a super sophisticated spam bot?

    • Michael

      July 17, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      Real comment my bot died. Our CFO is coming in Tuesday for the first time since giving birth only a couple of weeks ago and after reading the post I felt compelled to brag about her. I hope she finds it but I will not tell her how proud of her that I am. She will only be in for a couple of hours but she gave BIRTH! I cant believe it still.

  9. Ana

    July 17, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    Yikes, some people are getting so defensive. It’s a lighthearted article
    on a parenting website about one woman’s observations of motherhood.
    She isn’t going around pointing fingers and calling you lazy, stop
    taking everything personally! One person’s opinion on parenting isn’t an assault on you or the way you do things just because you don’t agree and you take everything you read super literally. I agree with most of the points, but not every single thing in the article. That doesn’t mean I should get all snarky or mean to the writer.

    • guest

      July 17, 2014 at 4:47 pm

      Exactly. It’s like everything on the internet is about THEM! Newsflash, it’s not!

    • Justme

      July 17, 2014 at 9:20 pm

      I don’t think anyone being snarky or mean….we are just expressing either our agreement or disagreement.

  10. meela

    July 17, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    “No matter how many times you’ve been in love, there is no love like the way you love your child.”

    I’ve heard this cliché millions of times (and I’m getting annoyed by it), and here’s what I have to say to that:

    There is no love like the way you love your mother, father, brother, sister, wife, husband, best friend, child, etc, etc.

    Forms of love may be different, but no one is superior. To say that there is no love like the love for your child(ren), or that “you don’t know real love until you’ve had children” is ignorant and condescending.

    • Jen

      July 17, 2014 at 8:37 pm

      Go be annoyed. No one cares.

    • meela

      July 18, 2014 at 10:48 am

      You cared enough to read my entire comment…

    • Ana

      July 17, 2014 at 11:29 pm

      People wouldn’t say it so much if they didn’t feel it to be true.

    • meela

      July 18, 2014 at 10:47 am

      Just because they feel it to be true doesn’t make it true, at least for others. Maybe in their world it’s true, because THEY didn’t really love anyone until the had kids, which is sad.

    • Danielle

      July 18, 2014 at 8:56 am

      I agree. It’s so weird when people say you don’t know love until you have kids. I have two littles and I love them to bits but I also love my husband to bits, and my parents are everything to me. I would be devastated if I ever lost my sister.

  11. jo

    July 17, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    It’s annoying when child-free people read parenting articles and get all pissy when things do/do not apply to them.

    • nan

      July 17, 2014 at 8:35 pm

      A fucking men

  12. KatsDiscoBall

    July 17, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Shorter description – your life changes, utterly.

  13. Justme

    July 17, 2014 at 9:26 pm

    One of the things I did not expect to change is the way I am more acutely aware of the language and tone of voice I use. I’ve never been real foul-mouthed, so not dropping f-bombs isn’t that hard for me, but it’s more in how I interact with people (both strangers and friends), or what I say about my boss and co-workers at the dinner table, and most definitely how I critique myself in the mirror.

    I truly think little girls learn how to be mean girls from watching and listening to their mothers, so I want to make sure that I’m modeling kindness and graciousness in front of my daughter. And then there’s the whole body issue – I work out on a daily basis and I’m VERY careful about articulating my reasons for doing so….it’s not because I want to be skinny, but instead I emphasize that it’s good to be healthy and strong.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *