Childrearing

Having A Kid In The Car Doesn’t Entitle You To Police Other Drivers’ Habits, So Kindly STFU

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happy child in car seatKids are little sponges, absorbing information and behaviors from all around them, and that isn’t something that stops the second they’re strapped into their car seats. So when we see them taking note of the bad habits that drivers in other cars might have, what should we do? I’m not sure, but I can safely say that the answer is not posting a screed to the Internet about how no other drivers should ever do anything that you think is icky.

Blogger Dresden Shumaker writes about her experiences chauffeuring her toddler around, and the instructions she imparts to fellow drivers to ease her highway headaches certainly warrant her self-bestowed title of ‘driving manifesto’:

I’ll also never forget the day we pulled up at a red light next to a garbage truck and I heard this from my back seat, “Mama!! Garbage truck!! What’s that thing in his mouth?” Somehow my son had managed to be completely oblivious to cigarette smokers in the suburbs of Philadelphia, but put a stick in the mouth of one of his heroes and it was now time for a conversation. The spell of city workers had been broken and I started to dread seeing a police officer, firefighter, or sanitation worker while we were out and about.

Look, I think smoking is gross, and smoke makes me cough, but I don’t think other people should be expected to shield me and my children from the mere sight of a cigarette.  Shumaker’s moral panic over having to explain smoking to her precious pumpkin reminds me of the whiners who complain about having to explain seeing people with tattoos or same-sex couples kissing to their kids. God forbid you take five minutes to have a discussion with your child because someone else dared to be living their life somewhere that you could see it!

Shumaker’s list of driving no-nos where a child might be involved includes swear words (I guess the windows on her car don’t roll up like all the way like everyone else’s); obeying traffic laws (am I only entitled to not getting hit by a speeding car if I have my kids in the back seat? I didn’t know I should expect to take my life in my hands if I make a solo trip to the coffee shop); and horn honking. This last one might be the most aggravating to me, because Shumaker equates someone honking at her to let her know the light has changed to people honking at a school bus carrying a child with a sensory disorder. Sorry, lady; I know it sucks when your newborn gets woken up because you zoned out in a new-mom-haze at a traffic light, but that is not remotely comparable to the struggles presented by a neurological disorder, and co-opting a suffering child’s problems to prop up your own whining is gross.

Other drivers are going to do things you don’t like, and if those things are legal, then it’s not your place to stop them. The world isn’t going to change to conform to your desires – if it did, my world would have a lot more comic books and a lot less laundry. If you’re a parent trying to instill certain values in your child, driving-related or not, your choices are limited to 1.) keep your kid locked in the basement away from other humans forever, or maybe try to get him adopted into the Duggar family, or 2.) get used to having a chat with him about the things you witness in public. You know, doing the whole ‘parenting’ thing. And you can put that in your pipe and smoke it.

(Image: Ruta Production/Shutterstock)

84 Comments

  1. Valerie

    October 14, 2014 at 11:09 am

    Oh Lord. She’s panicky about her kid seeing a cigarette?? I can’t even with parents this precious. Get over thyself, explain stuff to your kid and move on. Or move in with the Duggars.

  2. guest

    October 14, 2014 at 11:09 am

    She sounds like she needs some more excitement in her life if seeing a garbage man smoking is this big a deal…

    • Ursi

      October 14, 2014 at 11:45 am

      Seriously. Lighting up in front of a kid is not okay in my book. But smoking in my car? Yeah, you just have to deal with it, sorry.

    • brebay

      October 14, 2014 at 8:41 pm

      My only thing with smoking is, point the fucking thing at yourself, you’re the one smoking it. I hate it at a light when people have their arm so far out the damn window it’s closer to my face than it is to theirs. In line at the pumpkin patch, a stroller-pushing mama, trying to avoid the smoke going on to her baby, held the cig clear behind her back in between puffs right in my kid’s face (who really couldn’t go anywhere because there were people lined up.) Just really, if a kid has to breathe in your addiction, it should probably be your kid, not mine. Still, it’s not something that’s going to turn my kid into a smoker or make him turn against firemen. I mean, they’re still going to save your ass in a fire, so if they want to light up in front of your kid, do your job and don’t expect him to do it for you, he already has a job, and it’s not raising your kid. And she seems awfully upset that her kid might not want to grow up to be a trucker now. It’s a thankless, sleepless job where they use you up and spit you out. Was that really your dream for him?

    • CrazyFor Kate

      October 15, 2014 at 1:51 am

      Not to mention that keeping kids completely shielded from cigarettes is kind of counterproductive. They exist, people smoke them, and you will encounter smokers in your daily life. To keep it hidden makes it that much more tempting. In my province, you’re not allowed to even stock the cigarette shelves (which are covered) when kids may be present, which is BS because kids can come in at any hour of the day – so if a kid comes in you have to throw a towel over the box or something, all so Pweshus doesn’t find out about the existence of smoking. It’s ridiculous. Kids are not the simpletons the people behind these regulations think they are.

  3. JJ

    October 14, 2014 at 11:10 am

    How much are people willing to bet Miss Perfect probably does her fair share of no no’s while she drives but if you called her ass out on it she would be like, “uh excuse me I have a kid in the car don’t you speak to me like that or call me out I am busy with my child”. Also I bet she has every inch of her vehicle covered in those stupid stickers “children on board”, “baby on Board”, “I drive the speed limit” and “I share the road” but then proceeds to do barely any of those things. I get more laughs and scares too from the people driving like morons with baby on board slapped on the back of their car. I didn’t know baby on board means you can drive like an ass hole and yet police everyone else on the road because special snowflake is on board how dare you!

    I don’t even smoke and I’m tempted to be near this woman driving and light up a cigarette and just stare at her while blowing the smoke in her cars direction. Oh and curse my mouth off while doing so. Why? Why not. Just so I could see her eyes bug out of her head. Yeah thats right I’m smoking in a government vehicle on the job next to your f****** kid in your f****** prescence. LOL.

    • Allyson_et_al

      October 15, 2014 at 1:36 am

      I love those “Baby on Board” signs. They always remind me of Marge Simpson: “Look what I bought. Now people will stop intentionally ramming our car!”

  4. LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

    October 14, 2014 at 11:15 am

    I am far more worried about my kid picking up my own bad driving habits than I am about him noticing someone else’s.

    • biggerthanthesound

      October 14, 2014 at 11:17 am

      Word. I have been known to utter the good swear words whilst driving.

    • SunnyD847

      October 14, 2014 at 11:46 am

      I realized I had a problem when my MIL gave my 2 1/2 year old a driving simulator toy and she immediately sat down in it and began yelling at imaginary drivers to “get out the way!” and “move it, stupid lady!”

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      October 14, 2014 at 12:02 pm

      Things my son has said while I’m driving.

      [In rush hour traffic]. “Why are we stopped? GO people!”

      [Looking at a car that is parked in a weird angle] “Dude, seriously? You’re not even parked right.”

      [In the school drop-off line, behind a school bus] “Oh great. Now we gotta sit behind a school bus and wait for these clowns to get off.”

      I admit the last one made me laugh.

    • SunnyD847

      October 14, 2014 at 12:03 pm

      LOL! That’s adorable 🙂

    • Liz

      October 14, 2014 at 1:17 pm

      Your son sounds a lot like mine. My husband taught him this charming phrase for when traffic is slow: “There are too many people on this planet. We need a new plague.” He’s 3.5.

    • hdonovan

      October 15, 2014 at 1:40 am

      Hey, neither of your sons are cursing. This is accordance of the “Great Mother’s” Directive so you may proceed.

    • chill

      October 14, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      Hahaha! My kids mostly say, “Beep at them so they’ll go!” (this is when there is nowhere to go so I have to explain why I shouldn’t beep)

    • nikki753

      October 14, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      The last one is hilarious. I like that kid’s style.

    • Mehra Sarethi's new acct.

      October 14, 2014 at 5:48 pm

      Hahaha your kid sounds awesome. Parenting: you’re doing it right!

    • Amber Leigh Wood

      October 14, 2014 at 6:37 pm

      My nephew at 2 decided we were moving too slowly at a shopping centre, and standing at the end of the trolley told people to “mooooove” or to ” get outta my way” not quietly either lol

    • Allyson_et_al

      October 15, 2014 at 1:25 am

      There is one intersection in my town with a yield sign, and people never yield there. I’ve more near-accidents there than I can count. One day when my daughter was about 4, she asked me, “Is yield a bad word, Mommy?” She had only ever heard me yell it, with great feeling and volume, at the drivers at this intersection. “Yield! YIELD!!” Yeah, I’m setting a great example.

    • Ddaisy

      October 14, 2014 at 1:56 pm

      When my sister and I were little, one of our favourite games was to sit on the couch, hold a pillow like a steering wheel, and yell, “Watch it, bubble-brain!”

      I can confidently say that my parents never in their lives used the word “bubble-brain” and especially not while driving, so I actually have no idea where we picked that up. But we thought it was hilarious.

    • ToninaMDC

      October 14, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      Right there with you. When my kid was four, I was driving us someplace and someone sped up to get around me, then threw on his brakes. My son, who has extremely acute hearing, piped up, “Wow, that guy is a real jackass, right, Mom?” I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide.

    • Youthier

      October 14, 2014 at 1:42 pm

      Yep. Yesterday my three year old said “These people can’t drive.”

      But there was no swearing so parenting victory!

  5. Ursi

    October 14, 2014 at 11:17 am

    The bit about the windows on the car rolling up is so dead on. My mouth is filthy and it’s the first outlet for my road rage. Whenever I unload on other drivers it’s only when the windows are up and no one can hear what I’m saying. So there’s no worry about me swearing at a child (I only did that once because the windows were down and he came out of nowhere and on his bike I didn’t realize he was like 7 until he turned to gape at me. Whoops.)

    I do think that swearing audibly at people is really appalling. But this is coming from someone who yelled, “I’ll knock you on your ass, Grandma!” at the crazy old lady who cut her off last week.

    No, she couldn’t hear me.

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      October 14, 2014 at 11:49 am

      See, and in NJ, we HOPE that people hear us! 😉

  6. Jen TheTit Whisperer

    October 14, 2014 at 11:20 am

    And this is why childless/childfree people sometimes get the impression that parents are entitled asshats. If you don’t know awesome parents, this would definitely color one’s vision of what happens when you become a parent.

    • squib

      October 14, 2014 at 3:23 pm

      Exactly. That manifesto reads like a parody or something from The Onion. Who seriously thinks it’s appropriate to tell people to look around for small children before smoking IN THEIR OWN CAR? Argh, this makes me caps-locky.

  7. keelhaulrose

    October 14, 2014 at 11:24 am

    If you don’t want to see a public servant smoking you better find a way to get to Pleasantville, because it sure as shit isn’t going to happen pretty much anywhere else. The garbage man does not have a cushy, charming job. He picks up trash. Smoking is probably the lesser of two evils when it comes to smoking.
    Sorry, lady, but this land of you getting to dictate the behavior of everyone else because you have a kid in the car doesn’t exist. If you aren’t going at a green light I’ll give a reminder honk. I have places to go and things to do as well, and gas isn’t free.

    • whiteroses

      October 14, 2014 at 11:29 am

      And the fact that she compares a honk at a green light to someone honking at a school bus that contains a kid with sensory issues tells me she’s reaching. Because it’s not even close to the same thing.

    • keelhaulrose

      October 14, 2014 at 11:33 am

      Exactly.
      If you can’t pay enough attention to the road to do something as basic as go at the green lights in a timely manner you probably shouldn’t be on the road. There’s a big difference between once, and ‘I’m an exhausted mommy’ which sounds like she makes it a pattern.

    • brebay

      October 14, 2014 at 8:34 pm

      I think with the green light thing, it makes a lot of difference whether it’s a quick beep or a sustained honk. I do get beeped on a green, because I don’t use my phone while I’m moving–ever–so I will sometimes check it at a red light. I may annoy you, but I probably won’t kill you. I’ll take a slow on green over a quick on red any day!

    • CrazyFor Kate

      October 15, 2014 at 1:48 am

      Yup. I think every driver does it once in a blue moon, but if it’s happening a lot, that’s a concern!

    • pixie Ninja Tits

      October 14, 2014 at 12:30 pm

      My dad once had a lady flip him off when he honked at her at a green light while she was texting. It’s not like he honked the moment the light changed, he gave her a moment, but it was a short advanced green left turn and he really wanted to get through because he’d already waited a couple light cycles due to heavy traffic.

    • brebay

      October 14, 2014 at 8:35 pm

      I’ve done that, but usually you can tell by the length of the honk if it’s a nudge or a shove.

    • pixie Ninja Tits

      October 14, 2014 at 8:43 pm

      My dad only really blasts his horn if someone cuts him off in traffic, and even then it’s not quite like some people. When he’s trying to get someone’s attention that the light has changed, it’s just a short little honk to get them to look up from their phone or notice the changed light. And like I said, he does give them a moment’s opportunity to notice before tapping the horn.

    • Allyson_et_al

      October 15, 2014 at 1:32 am

      I always try to give people a little longer than what my husband and I call the “New York nanosecond”. In the city, they start leaning on their horn if you don’t start moving in the absolute minimum time it takes for your brain to process the color change. I start there and count to 3, then tap (not lean on) the horn. Some people get all pissed off anyway, but what are you going to do? I’m not going to miss the light just because they’re not paying attention.

    • pixie Ninja Tits

      October 15, 2014 at 7:36 am

      That’s what my dad does, too. you described it much better than me lol.

    • Kitsune

      October 15, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      I have to hold myself from honking too soon from growing up with the “New York nanosecond”. I have now mostly conditioned it out except for green arrows. They are only there for so long people.

    • SunnyD847

      October 15, 2014 at 12:38 am

      My dad was having a fight with my mom at a light and didn’t go at a green light. When the guy behind him honked my dad flipped him off- too bad for Dad it was a cop. He got a ticket and lost the fight 🙂

    • pixie Ninja Tits

      October 15, 2014 at 7:38 am

      Oh no! That’s unfortunate!

    • rockmonster

      October 14, 2014 at 4:53 pm

      What. Is Babble full of crazy people?

    • Allyson_et_al

      October 15, 2014 at 1:28 am

      Fun fact. I actually live in Pleasantville (no, really!), and people smoke here, too. Even some of the garbage men. I guess she’s screwed.

  8. Mystik Spiral

    October 14, 2014 at 11:33 am

    OK, I went and looked at her stupid “8 things” list, and WTF? So these are things you don’t want other drivers doing when YOUR KIDS are in the car? So if you’re alone, you don’t mind seeing someone throw trash out of their car, jaywalk, or speed through parking lots and residential areas? Damn I don’t like to see that shit and I don’t have kids.

    The rest of the list could be remedied by rolling up your damn window and/or minding your own damn business. Newsflash lady, your kids aren’t THAT important to complete strangers.

    • brebay

      October 14, 2014 at 8:57 pm

      Ugh. I just looked. (and seriously, “Dresden?”) Anyway. I don’t text while I’m driving, that’s WHY I’m doing it at a red light. How hard is it to have a convo about how throwing trash out a window is wrong? Does she have so little confidence in her parenting ability that she thinks seeing someone toss a cup out a window will un-do her 18 years of teaching him not to? She’s a bit odd…and seems to be confused about the whole “parenting thang.” If the world were filled with only nice, responsible people, kids wouldn’t fucking need parents, we could just toss them out there and be assured they’d learn right from wrong.

  9. Shelly Lloyd

    October 14, 2014 at 11:39 am

    “The spell of city workers had been broken”WTF? Really WTF? OK, I’ll give her Fireman and Police as heroes. But other city workers? Garbage men? is the metermaid not allowed to wear her skirt over her knee? Is the DMV clerk not allowed to throat punch the asshole who wants her picture on her license taken over and over again so that she can get her best angle?

    • rockmonster

      October 14, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      It’s a DL picture! You ain’t gonna be posing and smiling when the police officer pulls you over for speeding ticket!

  10. noodlestein's danger tits

    October 14, 2014 at 11:42 am

    From her manifesto “…imagine that car in front of you has a Kindergartener asking ‘why won’t that car stop honking?'” Gee, lady, maybe you could explain that people honk for a variety of reasons, such a letting another driver know that they’re in their blind spot, notifying them that a light has changed, or, I know this is crazy, but simple anger. You are free to frame it in any way you want, such as, “Well, that person is honking because they’re angry, but we don’t do that in our family because we don’t think it’s polite.” See, and there’s the key. You’re free to raise children in any way you want, because your child is asking questions of YOU. They want to know how YOU feel about it, what YOU think of what is going on in the outside world. A garbage man will never have half so much influence as you do, because as a parent, it is you who shapes their world view, who frames it in a way that makes sense for your family. Maybe, when you see people doing things you don’t agree with, you could use it as a teaching moment and an oppurtunity to teach your child that people are all different, and that’s okay, instead of writing a shrill screed on how inconsiderate other people are. You know, just spitballing here.

    • SunnyD847

      October 14, 2014 at 11:49 am

      I honked at a guy the other day to let him know he left his wallet on his car. He was a cute older man who gave me a bow of thanks, but I guess I should have let him drive away to protect any children in the vicinity.

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      October 14, 2014 at 11:54 am

      Of course you should have – YOU MONSTER.

    • Mehra Sarethi's new acct.

      October 14, 2014 at 5:46 pm

      #howdareyou!!1!

    • Aldonza

      October 15, 2014 at 2:14 am

      My husband and I were leaving a Best Buy once when we noticed the man in front of us had left his brand new notebook computer on top of his car. We started honking and gesturing frantically and thankfully he didn’t just think we were nutjobs and he got out and saw and was very grateful.

    • LeggEggTorpedoTits

      October 14, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      Lesson #1 for LeggEggTT: scroll down. *wince*

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      October 14, 2014 at 3:17 pm

      Nah. We’re just simpatico on this one, haha!

  11. CMJ

    October 14, 2014 at 12:08 pm

    I. Um. IT WAS A GARBAGE MAN. I mean….I’m not saying garbage men aren’t great people (and all city/government workers…hey, I am one) but puh-lease lady.

    http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e7/75/3b/e7753b36a1144cc6410fc4a10172222f.jpg

  12. Jem

    October 14, 2014 at 12:59 pm

    Whenever someone cuts me off or is otherwise rude in traffic, I just tell my 2.5 year old that they must really have to poop because, why else would they be driving like that? Works pretty well.

    • stella

      October 14, 2014 at 11:42 pm

      That is so awesome in so many ways.

    • brebay

      October 15, 2014 at 1:07 am

      Ha! A 2-year-old would totally get that, and it’d be even funnier at the fact that they’d take it totally seriously!

  13. Rachel Sea

    October 14, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    If you so dislike actual parenting that you can’t possibly figure out how to explain smoking, you should probably give your kids away to someone who will give a shit.

  14. LeggEggTorpedoTits

    October 14, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    I don’t know about this nutwad (Schumaker) but when people do/say things I don’t necessarily like or apppppppprrrrooooovee of in front of my kids, I take it as a teachable moment. Even the worst of things.

    Also, I don’t necessarily swear in the car, but I have come out with phrases that are somewhat less satisfying like: mother of pearl, son of a biscuit, jeezoflips and SUGARfoot. Somehow they just don’t feel the same as Mother Fucker, Son of a Bitch, Shit and “Piss off you fucking cunt”. No, they don’t. I like driving solo sometimes just so I can swear with abandon. True story.

    • mommabeer

      October 14, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Thanks for adding some new words to my non swearing exclamation vocabulary! I’m a big fan of “cheese and crackers!” and “mother scratcher!”

    • LeggEggTorpedoTits

      October 14, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Oh yes! I do like “mother scratcher”! That’s a good one! ;D

    • Allyson_et_al

      October 15, 2014 at 2:04 am

      I used to say “sonofa” and just not finish the phrase. Both my kids picked this up as toddlers. Oops.

  15. FishQueen

    October 14, 2014 at 3:41 pm

    Hear bloody hear. I work at a library on a busy public street, and there was a horrendous accident out in front of it. One of the mothers in the children’s room had the gall to complain that the people got into an accident in front of her precious babies. Meanwhile, people were being pried out cars with the jaws of life and a pedestrian was on the ground bleeding. No “gosh, I hope everyone’s all right,” just “I can’t believe they had to do that in front of the kids’ area!”

    • hdonovan

      October 15, 2014 at 1:44 am

      Hope that you handed her a dictionary open to the word “accident.”

    • Allyson_et_al

      October 15, 2014 at 2:02 am

      Or “self-absorbed”.

    • FishQueen

      October 15, 2014 at 4:05 am

      I wish I had. I could only stare at her. Meanwhile, Little Entitled Brat was shoving other kids out of the way so he could ogle the fire engines. He didn’t seem too fussed.

    • CrazyFor Kate

      October 15, 2014 at 1:53 am

      Some people need to be sent to live on an island, far far away, forever. Shudder.

    • FishQueen

      October 15, 2014 at 4:07 am

      I really don’t know how you can watch somebody bleed and still only be worried about you and yours. Sounds like somebody would be an excellent fit for Lord of the Flies.

    • Allyson_et_al

      October 15, 2014 at 2:02 am

      I once listened to a parent at my kid’s preschool complain because the new little girl in her kid’s class had a father who was dying of ALS and a mother who was being treated for metastatic breast cancer. That’s right; the child was losing possibly both her parents before she even turned 5, but this mom’s only concern was that she might require extra attention from the teachers, which would take attention away from her own son. It was all I could do not to punch the woman in the throat.

    • FishQueen

      October 15, 2014 at 4:03 am

      Holy. Shit.

      You deserve some kind of medal, because I’d have been pulling other people over to form a line for the throat punching. That is legitimately one of the worst things I have ever heard.

    • Allyson_et_al

      October 15, 2014 at 4:21 am

      Right? This was the same school where I had to more or less forcibly restrain myself from crane-kicking a woman I overheard bitching to her friend about how long the massive remodel of her McMansion was taking. “Everything is still in boxes. I feel like one of those Katrina refugees.” This is why I hate people.

  16. nikki753

    October 14, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    Hahahahahaha. Bitch, please. Oh, wait, sorry I laughed because, “OMG LOUD”

    Even though I agree completely with some of the things she’s advocating for such as don’t litter, don’t run people in crosswalks down, and stop honking when you’re just sitting in a traffic jam. Because those are shitty things to do. But not because your kid can see/hear it. But he tone of the whole thing. Wow, you had a kid. Bravo. That makes you…just like billions who have gone before and will come after you.

    I’m sorry if you’re driving an infant or someone else around who doesn’t like honking but if you’re zoned out at a green light and I and those behind me are at risk of missing it because you’re a self-centered dumbass, I’m going to honk. If you’re putzing along at 5 under for an extended distance, I’ll give you a toodle. If you’re driving like a complete moron and creating a dangerous situation–even if it’s just for me and not a precious “baby on board”, I’ll still long honk the shit out of you.

    The best part is that she’s holding sanitation workers to her personal morality standard. I love sanitation workers. I greatly appreciate what they do for us. They take away all manner of foul things and ours still physically pick up the garbage cans and dump them in. However, I certainly don’t expect them to be bastions of morality. Oh, heaven forbid that they, or cops, or firefighters, or anyone else who wears a uniform dare to be actual human beings instead of perfect romanticized characters.

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      October 14, 2014 at 5:29 pm

      I love this whole thing, but I love “give you a toodle” the most.

  17. rockmonster

    October 14, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    Tangential, but, Disney made a parenting website?!???

    • Mehra Sarethi's new acct.

      October 14, 2014 at 5:59 pm

      Really? Oh man I gotta check that shit out. There’s bound to be a few crazies on that site.

    • rockmonster

      October 14, 2014 at 6:14 pm

      It’s the one featured in this post, Babble.

    • CrazyFor Kate

      October 15, 2014 at 1:57 am

      So does it have tips like “Lock your kid in a room for a couple of decades if she turns out to be special” or “the first important event in your child’s life should be your death”?

    • rockmonster

      October 15, 2014 at 12:31 pm

      Nope.

  18. brebay

    October 14, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    When your kid grows up to be a smoking, drinking, cussing, heathen, we’ll know who to blame–everyone else—. But when he grown up to be a tight-assed, miserable douche who can’t understand that the world doesn’t revolve around him, that’s on you.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      October 14, 2014 at 9:45 pm

      slow clap, you sly, sweet motherfucker, you!

  19. Jezebeelzebub

    October 14, 2014 at 9:44 pm

    this woman needs to get on her knees to whatever god she serves and thank It that she has never run up on anyone like me, especially after having had the day that I’ve had. Because people like her are why I’m able to get up and do my job- the Universe occasionally gives me assholes to grind up, and MY DONT IT FEEL FINE!

  20. CrazyFor Kate

    October 15, 2014 at 1:46 am

    The best rule to teach someone on the road is that you can only trust yourself (and sometimes not even then). People are going to do dumb things, and you never know when, and you have to learn how to deal with it. This woman could be a much better example to her kids by muttering under her breath when someone cuts her off, just like everyone else. (And smoking? Swearing? Don’t get me started. Public space does not belong to your crotchlings, lady.)

    • MerlePerle

      October 15, 2014 at 3:20 am

      I think the best advice I ever got was ‘drive like everybody else is trying to kill you’

  21. trudy

    October 15, 2014 at 1:55 am

    She’s right. I hate it when people swear in the vicinity of my kids.
    That’s my job people.
    I don’t need my kids learning ” asshole”, when I’ve been working so hard to get them to call strangers “fuquers”. Stop usurping my parenting!

  22. salemthegoddess

    October 16, 2014 at 7:23 am

    *fixed
    Having A Kid Doesn’t Entitle You To Police Others’ Habits, So Kindly STFU

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