mom fun

I’m Making A Profile To Go On A Mom Date

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107429516I somehow managed to make it through my dating years without ever doing any online dating. I’ve had two relationships in the last 15 years, and they kind of butted up against each other, with only six months between them. I really didn’t have the time to consider the whole online thing – since it became all the rage after my single years were over.

I used to think meeting someone online was a little strange. I was certain you had to be in the presence of someone to really know who they are and whether you would want to spend more time with them. I was totally wrong about that. Years of blogging have proven it.

I have met some really amazing people online; people I am sure would be my friends in real life. I may have missed the whole “online dating” boat, but I am considering putting a profile on one of those mom-dating sites to make some friends. Mom Meet Mom is one that was brought to my attention today. You create a profile and browse the profiles of other moms in your area. I generally don’t like women who only define themselves as mothers, but there has to be plenty of women out there like me – who just really need to make some friends with kid benefits, right? We’ll see. I’m making a rough draft profile. Here goes:

I am a woman who knows what she wants. It usually has bacon in it. Or tequila.

I enjoy exercising if it involves walking. Slowly. With a giant cup of coffee in my hands. While gossiping. If you are one of those people who abhors gossip, or claims not to do it – we can’t be friends. I don’t like liars.

I love music. Can you differentiate between John Coltrane and Miles Davis? I love you. Do you understand the musical importance of Prince? We can be friends forever.

If you are one of those people who thinks parenting is easy and it causes you no stress or anxiety, I may ask to come over and observe you in your natural habitat. I make a fantastic lasagna and I know a lot about wine. Speaking of lasagna, vegetarian lasagna is a travesty and if we are friends you must never speak of it.

I am an unashamed lover of all shows that have the word “wives” in them. This includes, but is not limited to: Mob WivesBasketball WivesThe Real Housewives of (insert city here), and Broke Intellectual Wives. I’m in the process of crafting a pitch for the last one now.

Bacon, tequila, coffee, gossiping, music, lasagna, reality TV, wine… I guess that pretty much sums up my likes. As far as dislikes go – I hate it when people take their gum out of their mouths and stick it on their can of Diet Coke. That is fucking disgusting. I’m pretty easy going about just about everything else – as long as you are pro-choice and comfortable calling yourself a feminist.

Can we be friends? I hope so. Oh – I almost forgot! I have a 7-month-old girl and a 3-year-old boy.

(photo: Getty Images)


  1. candyvines

    January 7, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    I would mom-date the shit out of you, but then you’d be all, uh, that’s creepy, you don’t even have kids yet.
    Nice profile! Hope you don’t meet any creeps.

    • Maria Guido

      January 7, 2014 at 4:48 pm

      Being a mom is not a prerequisite for my friendship, as evidenced by the fact that I have no mom friends. haha

    • candyvines

      January 7, 2014 at 5:36 pm

      I actually do need a new mom friend for play dates with the boy I nanny. Our only buddy and her son are moving away at the end of this month. Boo. It’s so hard to make friends as an adult (especially on the East coast, IMO.)

  2. Bethany Ramos

    January 7, 2014 at 4:45 pm

    I need a mom friend too!! Your profile sounds pretty enticing… Sad day, but my only mom friend ever turned out to be quite lame. Luckily, she was pretty flaky, so she made the breakup almost effortless. (Or maybe I’m the lame one, and she dumped me???)

  3. ted3553

    January 7, 2014 at 4:48 pm

    I have no mom friends with kids anywhere near the ages of mine. I would love a mom friend. I need a normal friend who happens to also be a mom. I don’t need a friend who IS A MOM and that’s it. If you’ve ever used a # with the word mom behind it, we probably won’t be friends

    • Bethany Ramos

      January 7, 2014 at 5:11 pm

      Hahaha now we are for sure friends.

    • Maria Guido

      January 7, 2014 at 5:15 pm


    • Bethany Ramos

      January 7, 2014 at 5:22 pm


  4. Meg Gerritson

    January 7, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    Where do you live? I must be your friend, local or not 😉 And a huge thanks for covering us. We love Mommyish over here.

    Mom Meet Mom

    • Maria Guido

      January 7, 2014 at 5:15 pm

      Haha! Thanks! I’m in Orlando now.

    • Fuzzy Selfie

      January 7, 2014 at 7:22 pm

      So how do you keep out dirty perv dudes who might exploit your site to meet hot moms?

    • Meg Gerritson

      January 8, 2014 at 9:07 am

      While we do monitor for unusual profiles, if someone slides through the cracks, we look to our mom users to report them. If you see something strange, just click the “report user” button under someone’s user image – we will permanently ban users who fail to comply with the standards of behavior outlined in our terms of service.

      If anyone else has questions, please refer to our FAQ or reach out to us directly through the contact/feedback forms on our site! Thank you!

  5. Emily Wight

    January 7, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    We can be friends in real life if you’re interested in the rainy west coast? Of Canada? I think it could work. We have much in common.

    • Maria Guido

      January 7, 2014 at 5:27 pm

      Are you offering to adopt me, Emily – because if you are the answer is “yes.” I’ve seen your cooking.

  6. phoenix81

    January 7, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    I met a mom friend online. I remember being so nervous before our first mom-date (“I hope she likes me”). It’s been 7 months and we’re still going strong.

  7. KaeTay

    January 7, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    become a military spouse.. trust me you won’t like gossip then. I learned to dislike gossip back in high school.

    • SusannahJoy

      January 7, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      I’m a fake military spouse. I mean, my husband really is in the air force, but we’ve never lived on base, so we miss most of the drama. Although we’ll prob end up living on base where we go next.

  8. Toaster

    January 7, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    I have some awesome mom friends but I really need some nerd mom friends! You know, someone I can trade Pokemon with, compare the Game of Thrones show to the books, discuss whether Rarity or Rainbow Dash is best pony, while our nerd gear-bedecked children play Portal pretend together. Sadly my city is so small I think this isn’t going to happen 🙁

    • tSubh Dearg

      January 7, 2014 at 6:39 pm

      Can you move to Ireland? I know a whole bunch of ladies who would be mum (sorry can’t write mom, it sounds so wrong in my head) friends and just plain old friends with you.

    • pixie

      January 7, 2014 at 7:04 pm

      After Saturday’s episode of MLP:fim, I’m really liking Rarity is best pony. And everything else you just said kind of gave me a nerd-gasm. I’ll be your friend! Though I live nowhere near you and don’t have kids.

    • CW

      January 7, 2014 at 11:24 pm

      When your kids hit elementary age, there are all sorts of extracurriculars that attract nerdy families. Things like Science Olympiad, First Lego League, chess club, LARP, etc. P.S. My 11 y.o. likes Rainbow Dash best and my 5 y.o. likes Pinkie Pie. I’m partial to Twilight Sparkle when she’s not having an OCD freakout.

    • Kay_Sue

      January 7, 2014 at 11:34 pm

      I would kill for a Game of Thrones fan mom friend. We could dress our kids up as different houses and let them beat the shit out of each other over tea, while making complicated plans for how they could outmaneuver one another politically…it would be grand! 😉

    • jane

      January 8, 2014 at 10:13 am

      Please tell me you live near me (Boston). We could be besties.

    • Kay_Sue

      January 8, 2014 at 11:29 am

      Unfortunately not. Although after having this dose of cold the past two days, I think I might rethink that unfortuantely.

    • thefluter

      January 8, 2014 at 10:36 am

      I don’t have kids, but I could borrow one for this!

    • Kay_Sue

      January 8, 2014 at 11:31 am

      My sister keeps borrowing my child to visit her friend that has a kid the same age. Your comment has me wondering what their play dates entail now, lol. Maybe I want to go along! 🙂

  9. pixie

    January 7, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    Maria, I think I love you. If I lived anywhere near you, I’d come over with some bacon and tequila and we could gossip and listen to Miles Davis and John Coltrane and Prince.

    • Maria Guido

      January 7, 2014 at 10:47 pm

      Aww – I wish!

  10. emlangille

    January 7, 2014 at 8:58 pm

    I’m not a mom (yet) but can I be your friend?

    • Maria Guido

      January 7, 2014 at 10:47 pm

      Yes. Definitely.

  11. Jessica

    January 7, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    I need mom friends too! I joined meetup dot com & found a mom group I liked pretty well. Unfortunately, I only went to a few meetups before the leader decided to disband because she was getting too many rsvp’s that never showed up 🙁 I haven’t found another group that isn’t huge & that has low key activities. Maybe someday I’ll have friends that live closer than 3 hours away 🙂

    • Jessica

      January 7, 2014 at 11:55 pm

      P.S. I just signed up at Mom Meet Mom, thanks for bringing it up!

  12. kay

    January 7, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    If you want to be my mom friend you need to like alcohol and judging.

    Eating too.

    (my best mom friend is my mom friend because are kids were born 3 days apart, we like yoga, happy hour, and she and I are the only people in our playgroup who eat at places that aren’t in the suburbs. Everyone’s all PF Changs and Red Robbin while we talk about the optimal times to minimize line waiting at Screen Door.)

  13. Helen Hyde

    January 8, 2014 at 5:03 am

    I’ve joined but I think I’m the only London person there… Sigh.

  14. TwentiSomething Mom

    January 8, 2014 at 10:25 am

    I love your profile!

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