Swearing In Front Of Your Kids Can Get You Arrested Now So We’re All F&*ed‏‏

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censored swear wordOkay, this is just getting ridiculous. A woman was arrested in North Augusta, South Carolina in a grocery store for disorderly conduct when she allegedly dropped an ‘f” bomb in front of her kids. Yeah, seriously.

Let’s see if we can unravel this depraved tale, shall we?

According to WSPA, Danielle Wolf let her temper and a loaf of squished bread get the better of her and some tattletale ran to get the cops when she thought she heard Wolf swearing at her children.

The phrase in question, according to the police report is the horrifying and abusive “stop squishing the fucking bread,” which Danielle insists was directed at her husband and not her children, as the entire family was shopping together:

 “She’s like, ‘you told that they were smashing the bread’, and I said ‘no’ I said that to my husband, that he was smashing the bread by throwing the frozen pizzas on top of it,” said Wolf

I buy it. I have a really filthy mouth, and so does my husband and while I’ve made a halfhearted effort to improve my language, we often say profane things to each other that aren’t even spoken in anger, like, “I fucking love you.” Our daughter may or not be present sometimes. She likes to whisper “oh, shit” and giggle to herself when she thinks no one’s listening, so I’ve seen firsthand just how traumatizing swear words can be. She’s a ruined child, no doubt.

But whether it’s true or not, can I just ask something here with the understanding that none of you are going to call the cops on me?

What the fuck, lady?

There is a time to intervene and a time to mind your own business, right? How, in any alternate reality, is it better for those kids to watch their mother be arrested and later go to court than it is to hear the bitchenest swear word that ever existed?

Apparently the woman who reported Wolf was “having a bad day”, and the swear reminded her of her own abusive childhood, which also makes me sad for her because she was clearly triggered, but still.

Now Wolf has to go to court on September 12th, where it will be determined whether or not she broke the South Carolina law that states that disorderly conduct can occur when someone deigns to:

“utter, while in a state of anger, in the presence of another, any bawdy, lewd or obscene words or epithets.”

Well if that isn’t a law painted with broad strokes I don’t know what is. Bawdy? All this does is make me want to come up with bawdy limericks peppered liberally with the f word all up in them.

More and more, I feel like I have less to fear from the outside world than I do of getting in trouble when someone doesn’t like the way I parent. I used to let my child walk to the park solo, but I haven’t done that for awhile, since that’s apparently a criminal offense. If anyone ever saw me swearing at my child, I woudn’t blame them for intervening, but I don’t do that. I will confess that I’ve been known to swear around her, though.

Now I’m thinking that I have to be concerned that my bawdy mouth will get me in trouble someday. If I can get in trouble for swearing in front of my kid, I am so fucking fucked, you guys.

(Image: Lasse Kristensen /Shutterstock)


  1. JenH1986

    August 14, 2014 at 1:16 pm

    I really hope KY doesn’t have a similar law or I’m fucked.

  2. LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

    August 14, 2014 at 1:21 pm

    Whenever I read stories like this, I’m reminded of The Rock:

  3. Henrysmama

    August 14, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    Oh for fucks sake. If this was a law in California, I’d be arrested all day, every day.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 14, 2014 at 3:00 pm

      If this applied in Denver, the entire city would have been in jail after the last Super Bowl.

    • ChillMama

      August 14, 2014 at 3:28 pm

      Ha. I was cheering for Denver. That was a tough one.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 14, 2014 at 3:29 pm

      Even the sky was gray the next day! 🙁

  4. LadyClodia the Modest Rat

    August 14, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    This really does seem like a ridiculous thing to be arrested over, and I agree, much more traumatizing for her children.
    I would be in so much fucking trouble. I really had to remind myself not to swear while speaking at the kindergarten get-together thing we had to go to today, and I think I was successful.

  5. JessBakesCakes

    August 14, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    This is fucking ridiculous. Granted, I have adopted some fucking awesome alternatives to swear words, like “MOTHER KITEN!” instead of “MOTHER FUCKER!” and “SON OF A MOTHERLESS GOAT” instead of “SON OF A BITCH!” But there is legitimate psychological evidence to the fact that swearing is awesome:

    • LadyClodia the Modest Rat

      August 14, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      “Son of a motherless goat” is just fucking amazing. I may have to start using that.

    • Fondue

      August 14, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      That’s one of my husband’s favorites. I’m a fan of “Son of a biscuit.”

    • Lilly

      August 14, 2014 at 1:39 pm

      my tall husband regularly hits his head on the low doorways at my son’s daycare. I am kind of sad I am never there to witness one of his creative conversions of a swear start into something you can say around toddler/preschoolers.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 14, 2014 at 2:57 pm

      I’ve uttered, “Oh, fuuuuuuu…zzy little kittens” around Grandma before.

    • K.

      August 14, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      Courtesy of “30 Rock”:

      Fat can
      Mouth hooker
      Monster bitch
      Hatchet face

      And of course, blerg.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 14, 2014 at 2:25 pm

      Also, ‘mouth-breathing Appalachian’.

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      August 14, 2014 at 3:46 pm

      In my group, we say “Slytherin!” instead of “shit,” because we’re huge, huge nerds.

    • K.

      August 14, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      Ah, but do you say “frack”? Because that’s some serious nerd-cred right there. 🙂

    • the_ether

      August 14, 2014 at 4:26 pm

      My kid is going to think frak, smeg, and frell are swear words. I’m OK with this.

    • Elizabeth Wakefield

      August 15, 2014 at 8:52 pm

      My brother called me a smeghead throughout my entire youth.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 14, 2014 at 5:32 pm

      Alas, fracking for oil is such a big controversy here in CO right now that trying to cash in on my BSG fandom is more likely to get me a lecture than a high-five. Sigh.

    • Andrea

      August 14, 2014 at 5:34 pm

      We tried around here with the frack. I didn’t take on.

      I try fudge sometimes. And I like to say fuuuuuuuuuuuu … dge and then people think I will be saying fuck and get horrified and then I don’t but they are shocked anyways.

    • maddy

      August 23, 2014 at 11:36 am


      Will try that….

    • Oz

      August 14, 2014 at 10:46 pm


    • JessBakesCakes

      August 15, 2014 at 11:27 am

      I approve, as a Hufflepuff!

    • scooby23

      August 15, 2014 at 2:28 pm


    • FemelleChevalier

      August 15, 2014 at 2:47 pm

      Awww… 🙁

    • EX

      August 14, 2014 at 8:38 pm

      I say “mother farmer” a lot.

    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:44 pm

      I say “Son of a mother!” stole it from King of Queens.

  6. ChillMama

    August 14, 2014 at 1:27 pm

    Not an American, but how does this fit with the whole “freedom of speech” concept?? I mean, arresting someone for swearing at someone else? My criminal record would be a mile long.

    • K.

      August 14, 2014 at 1:37 pm

      There are limits to freedom of speech–quite a few, really, but one that comes to mind in this context is that speech is unprotected if it is directed at someone with the intent to incite immediate violence or immediate emotional distress.

      Not saying that applies here, necessarily (or that the woman isn’t ridiculous), but there you go.

    • ChillMama

      August 14, 2014 at 3:22 pm

      Yes, we have the same where I live. But I agree, I don’t think it applies here. That was more my point. If just “swearing” is prohibited, that seems to be a legal overreach, no?

    • K.

      August 14, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      Oh lord, I hope so. Man, I hope so.

    • Williwaw

      August 14, 2014 at 6:50 pm

      But think of that poor distressed fucking loaf of bread.

    • EX

      August 14, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      Yeah, see, that’s my problem with this (well, one of several). Technically her f-bomb was directed at the bread. She didn’t say “stop squishing the bread you fucking moron.” Not that I think you should be arrested for that either but I’m just saying I didn’t know bread needed police protection….

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      August 14, 2014 at 1:38 pm

      Our freedom to fucking cuss should be an unalienable right.

    • Croaxleigh

      August 14, 2014 at 1:54 pm

      The First Amendment (and essentially the entire Bill of Rights) is more or less about protections from the federal government. If you look at the wording of it, it begins “Congress shall make no law…” This isn’t a federal law, or even a state law, so the First Amendment technically doesn’t apply. An argument could potentially be made in court that the ordinance is unconstitutional, but the bigger concern should be how broad its wording makes it.

    • 2Well

      August 14, 2014 at 2:35 pm

      It has been incorporated into state law though by the Supreme Court, along with most other Bill of Rights protections.

    • Guest

      August 14, 2014 at 11:41 pm

      Incorporation happens through the Bill of Rights, not the Supreme Court.

    • 2Well

      August 15, 2014 at 8:23 am

      The Supreme Court decided to allow the Bill of Rights to be incorporated. Gitlow was the first decision, and most recently was the 2nd Amendment.

    • ChillMama

      August 14, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      And criminal law in the U.S is set state by state? It is confusing because in Canada criminal law=federal law which therefore falls under the protection of the Charter.

    • Croaxleigh

      August 14, 2014 at 4:07 pm

      Some crimes are set at the federal level, while others are defined at the state level. Some are even defined at the local level. The article claims that this was a state law, though someone in the comments had mentioned that it was a city ordinance… either way, it wasn’t a federal law that was violated.
      (This basically falls to the way that the Constitution was worded, since the US is supposed to have each state as a sovereign power united by a central federal government to regulate national defense, interstate commerce, etc.; any power not specifically given to the central government was given to the states, allowing each a bit more autonomy when it comes to how its laws function. This has been shifted about and degraded over the last couple hundred years, of course.)

    • ChillMama

      August 15, 2014 at 9:56 am

      Ah, I see. Thanks for that.

    • RayneofCastamere

      August 14, 2014 at 8:34 pm

      More or less the above. It was originally that the United States were exactly that, states that had united together to break off from England and it used to be that someone from the US would identify themselves as a member of the state they were from (ex. a New Yorker or a Georgian) rather than as an American. The United States were actually even referred to as a plural than as one country.

      And then the Civil War happened and yeah…it was decided that it would be better to be a more unified country than to let the states do whatever. No one wanted a repeat of this:

      WARNING: Actual Civil War photograph of the aftermath of Antietam

    • ChillMama

      August 15, 2014 at 9:56 am

      Yes, I studied quite a bit of American history (fascinating stuff), but I never quite got my head around how your legal system was set up. Thanks!

    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:39 pm

      Criminal law is mostly state, except when it’s federal! Things that cross state lines (trafficking, kidnapping, assaulting or killing a federal agent, and some white collar crimes) are federal crimes, but mostly every state has their own criminal statutes and sentencing. Some states have the death penalty and some don’t.

    • Andrea

      August 14, 2014 at 5:37 pm

      Freedom of speech does not mean what most people think it means. There are all kinds of limits on it and a private business (like a private residence) can decide that you don’t get to say whatever you want in their establishment.
      Freedom of speech mainly applies to being able to critic the govt without going to jail. And even that has limits.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 14, 2014 at 7:20 pm

      While this is absolutely true, a privately-owned business or residence can simply have you kicked out for violating their limits. Which doesn’t generally require involving the cops unless you’re refusing to leave and are, therefore, trespassing.

    • Andrea

      August 15, 2014 at 11:57 am

      That’s also very true. But it could decide to be an ass and say that you were “disturbing the peace” and get the cops involved.
      I was just responding to the freedom of speech comment.

    • ChillMama

      August 15, 2014 at 9:58 am

      As I understand it (and this is from a Canadian interpretation) freedom of speech means the government not unjustly limiting your speech. It does not apply strictly to just criticizing the government. However, yes, you absolutely can be a jacka** in your own establishment with respect to limiting free speech.

    • Cindy

      August 17, 2014 at 2:21 pm

      Andrea – not quite. Kroger (the store in question here) certainly can ban anyone from its premises – for a lawful reason. If the store didn’t like the cussing, the manager could have escorted her out or asked her to leave – that’s fine. But the state CANNOT take action against her for cussing at a loaf of bread within earshot of her children. That’s the issue here. Your statement that freedom of speech mainly applies to gov’t criticism is not quite accurate. Research applicable 1st Amendment case law and come back to discuss. That being said, if the shopper swore with the intent to incite a riot or cause violence (I.e. “Let’s all kill that stupid b**ch”), then the words, most likely, would not be protected.

  7. Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

    August 14, 2014 at 1:28 pm

    Not to be a stickler, but it’s North Augusta. Augusta is the city on the Georgia side of the border.

    I’d also like to take the opportunity to point out that this is not state law, but a local ordinance, or else I’d have quite the lengthy record following any Wal-Mart visit. Not because I swear profusely at my children (I actually bend over backwards to avoid taking them to Wal-Mart with me because shopping with kids is a pain no matter how well-behaved they are) but because I swear profusely at everything else, from the produce to the bread to the milk and cheese.

    It’s ridiculous. I don’t disagree that you shouldn’t swear at your children–but if all you have is one citizen’s word against another, and the children are well-cared for and happy…you just don’t know the circumstances. That’s the truth. You have no idea if Citizen 1 is even telling the truth, and you have no idea if Citizen 2 just let something slip while having a bad day.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 14, 2014 at 1:48 pm

      You almost sound like you think it was okay to have the cops show up to investigate?

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 14, 2014 at 1:49 pm

      Not in the slightest. I don’t think it should be law at all, unless you’re being completely verbally abusive, which hopefully someone would document.

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 14, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      Cool. I just read it differently, than it was intended. Thanks

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 14, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      I just wrote the same comment. SHould ahve read through these first (re: North Augusta).

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 14, 2014 at 3:28 pm

      I can’t believe I just quasi-defended Georgia. Perhaps I should go get my head checked. 😉

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 14, 2014 at 7:56 pm

      Today, you defend Georgia. Tomorrow, you don a Bulldogs jersey.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 14, 2014 at 8:28 pm

      It will never happen. That would burn. 😉

    • Theresa Edwards

      August 14, 2014 at 2:10 pm

      I will edit, my lovely loves.

    • Wicked Prophet Kay Sue

      August 14, 2014 at 3:28 pm

      I <3 you.

      I told Bleu Cheese, I really can't believe that I kinda defended Georgia there. Should have let them have this one!

  8. sweetgotham

    August 14, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    Between this and posing my infant on a turkey platter I am sooooo getting my kid taken away from me. 🙁

  9. K.

    August 14, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    I wonder if this ever happened to me, if I started speaking to the officer as if I was a character in “Trainspotting” or something. Like, every other word was “fuck” and I could be like, “What’s fucking wrong with the way I fucking talk? My mother fuck talks this way. My dad fuck talks this way. I mean, …fuck.”

    Maybe I’d get let off with a warning?

  10. Warren Pacholzuk

    August 14, 2014 at 1:49 pm

    To any and all persons that say you shouldn’t swear or drink infront of your kids. Well where the fuck are they going to learn how to do it properly, on the streets?

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 14, 2014 at 2:51 pm

      I’m actually agreeing with your comments today. Surely the Apocalypse is at hand!

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      August 14, 2014 at 3:48 pm

      I’ve thought that several times today, and for the same reason, myself!!

    • Johnstone

      August 14, 2014 at 4:03 pm

      Haha, nice one 🙂

    • disqus_Ca3RDnyjPH

      August 15, 2014 at 9:16 am

      My son is only ten and he already knows about things that are bad for him because we have a relationship that makes it easy for him to ask me anything. I have a foul mouth, but a good boy. I tell him I love him at least twice a day. Once when I take him to school, then when I tuck him in at night. Just because that lady said a bad word doesn’t mean she’s a bad mom.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 15, 2014 at 11:18 am

      git it, warren!

    • Warren Pacholzuk

      August 15, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      My kids would never waste good booze like that.

  11. Elyne

    August 14, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    This is unbelievable but sadly I do believe it. So let me get this right; as long as you’re a gun loving, God fearing,Obama hater, 2-3 job working citizen that always watch his child 24/7, no swearing kind of person than you can have it all in the US ? Seems to me that they want to create some super human.

    • Greta Young

      August 14, 2014 at 1:58 pm


    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 14, 2014 at 2:09 pm

      Also, you can only speak English.

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      August 14, 2014 at 3:49 pm

      Or as they like to call it “American.” I legit heard a woman say “speak American” to a Japanese lady in a casino in LV last month. Palm, meet face.

    • K.

      August 14, 2014 at 4:00 pm

      “Fine. I’ll speak ‘American’ if you can spell it.”

      (this is like people talking about Jesus speaking English).

    • rockmonster

      August 14, 2014 at 6:42 pm

      “Jesus speaking English”

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 15, 2014 at 11:17 am

      I *LOVE* the Jesus as an English speaker thing. It never, ever, EVER gets old. It is always funny. I don;t even mean I laugh scornfully- I mean I straight up get the giggles it tickles me so hard.

  12. Greta Young

    August 14, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    What is up with all the stories lately where grown adults are reporting other grown adults to authorities for things that are clearly not criminal acts, just different parenting choices or just a crappy judgement call? Are we really incapable of simply approaching one another politely about these things? Or, go figure, offering assistance or support to one another?

    Nope. Lemme video it on my phone first, rant about it on social media, call it in to CPS or police, and confine my kids to a locked indoor home environment where nobody can judge me for any of my own slip-ups while I clutch my pearls and proclaim the superiority of my choices from the rooftop. (Well, maybe not the rooftop, because that would require me to briefly leave a kid inside my home unsupervised while I climb up there, and actually I might fall during that ascent and we haven’t retrofitted our yard with foam yet, and also my neighbors might think I’m trying to be a peeping tom. so nevermind.)

    • sweetgotham

      August 14, 2014 at 2:04 pm

      Honestly, this comes to mind:

      I can see threat of violence as a deterrent to talking to someone one-on-one.

    • guest

      August 15, 2014 at 11:18 am

      This reminds me of when I was little and found out that our neighbor boys would get in trouble for tattling on each other. If one tattled on the other for doing something they’d both get punished. One for being a tattletale and one for doing something stupid. I always thought that was harsh but apparently there are too many goddamn tattle tales around and these people were just ahead of the curve.

  13. allisonjayne

    August 14, 2014 at 2:02 pm


  14. Bleu Cheese Bewbs

    August 14, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    Theresa, this happened in North Augusta, which is in SC. Augusta in in GA.

    • Theresa Edwards

      August 14, 2014 at 2:12 pm


    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 14, 2014 at 2:13 pm

      I DIDN’T SEE HER COMMENT! 🙂 ALso, there is some SC-GA rivalry. Blame the Gamecocks and the Bulldogs.


      August 14, 2014 at 3:22 pm

      Hey, SC can get enough bad press without any help from GA. I would like to point out that the women just moved from Ohio which seems to be a theme. (A lot of people move from Ohio to South Carolina. )

    • Lisa

      August 14, 2014 at 10:29 pm

      There seems to be a secret portal from Ohio to the Carolinas in general.

      However, given that Ohio supposedly leads the nation in cussing (can’t find the link right now), maybe we’ll just stay home.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 15, 2014 at 8:52 am

      This could partially be due to there being air bases in both Ohio and South Carolina.

  15. AP

    August 14, 2014 at 2:07 pm

    It seems some adults missed the “Don’t be a tattletale” lesson in Kindergarten.

    Maybe we need to make a PSA.

  16. rockmonster

    August 14, 2014 at 2:11 pm

    The person who thought that this ordnance was a good idea can go fuck themselves and the horse they rode in on.

    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 14, 2014 at 2:12 pm

      This is right next door to an area that only very recently allowed us to vote on whether or not we should have alcohol sales on Sunday. I’m talking within the last year.

    • rockmonster

      August 14, 2014 at 2:13 pm


    • Bleu Cheese Bewbs

      August 14, 2014 at 2:14 pm

      For serious. Now, we can buy alcohol on Sundays but only after like 12:30. When we first moved here I tried to buy wine on Sunday (for dinner) and I got scolded by the cashier.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 14, 2014 at 2:49 pm

      Colorado still has a regulation stating that only one store of any chain in the whole state may sell liquor on premises. You can get your weed at numerous dispensaries, but you have to double-check to see if the King Soopers next door has some wine for that impending cottonmouth.

    • Kelly

      August 14, 2014 at 4:52 pm

      Glad I live in WI where the alcohol flows like water. No seriously though I just visited PA and found out that you can’t buy alcohol in a grocery store and also can’t buy wine and beer in the same store and then I almost fell on the floor and died. WTF America? How can we deal with your ridiculous punishment of Bad Moms without drinking a shit-ton, oops I mean ‘bunches’ of booze?

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      August 14, 2014 at 5:13 pm

      We Wisconsites can outdrink anyone any day. Could you imagine telling Wisconsin residents they could only buy booze after 12:30 on Sundays? People would riot in the streets.

    • Kelly

      August 14, 2014 at 5:15 pm

      It’s been a while since I’ve seen closing time, but I recall how many hours it took to actually kick everyone out of the bars. Because EVERYONE ordered two drinks at like 1:59. I’m feeling a strange mix of pride and embarrassment about this.

    • LiteBrite(UterineDudebro)

      August 14, 2014 at 5:21 pm

      It’s how we roll here.

    • tSubh Dearg

      August 15, 2014 at 3:34 am

      Sounds like Ireland! We have a half hour “drinking up time” built into our closing times, as most people order at least 2 drinks at last call.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      August 14, 2014 at 5:29 pm

      Well, thus far getting stoned in front of your kids is apparently perfectly okay, so I guess you can come here and get high instead of swearing?

    • Lisa

      August 14, 2014 at 10:24 pm

      Ohio’s much the same way (as Wisconsin). My friends were shocked when they moved here for college and discovered that we could get alcohol (all the alcohol!) pretty much any day of the week from any store.

      I love the fact that my friends and I can go to the grocery store and get food for whatever dinner or party we were hosting, as well as whatever our choice of drink is. Efficiency people!

    • Andrea

      August 14, 2014 at 5:39 pm

      Same here. My metro area VERY recently to allow alcohol sales on Sundays. And it passed by an overwhelming majority, but only after 12:30

    • 2Well

      August 14, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      My hometown is just now voting to become wet. Or maybe moist. I’m not certain because I live ten minutes from a liquor store and stopped paying attention to the crazies.

      Bourbon County, Kentucky is dry, which is hilarious.

    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:34 pm

      Fucking horses: also illegal…

    • nobody

      August 25, 2014 at 2:59 pm

      ignorant fool. My boy’s mom curses all the time. She doesn’t even have to be
      mad. Now my 6 year old boy is doing it. I can’t find anyone for him to play
      with because parents don’t there kids hearing it from my boy, and I don’t blame
      them. Just another thing a dad had to put up with because of his mom

  17. Guinevere

    August 14, 2014 at 2:15 pm

    Oh my word. Heavens to Betsy.

  18. OptimusPrime*

    August 14, 2014 at 2:38 pm

    This is also the law in GA. The only time I know it was used was as a pre-text to arrest a suspected murderer who cursed in front of a family and a dead body (also illegal here) at Lake Lanier. I can’t find the appropriate links as this was about a decade ago.

    • julesgilead

      August 14, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      it’s illegal to curse in front of a dead body? what? would its feelings be hurt?

    • OptimusPrime*

      August 14, 2014 at 9:00 pm

      I know! It’s crazy!

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 15, 2014 at 11:14 am

      maybe the corpse doesn’t feel dead! you don’t know!

    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:34 pm

      No cussing around a corpse? That is the best law ever.

  19. Jessica Johnson

    August 14, 2014 at 2:42 pm

    Well, I guess if she’s found guilty of this shit, no more trips to fucking Myrtle Beach for me. That woman would be on a crusade to have me actually tarred and feathered then run out of town on a rail if she heard the way I talk to my kids. The way you quoted the law, it doesn’t even matter if the woman *was* talking to her kids, as she was “in the presence of another”. So yeah, I guess she’s technically guilty, but that law is fucking bullshit.

  20. js argh

    August 14, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    I have no idea how I made it through college unarrested in SC if it’s illegal to “utter, while in a state of anger, in the presence of another, any bawdy, lewd or obscene words or epithets.”

  21. Samantha Lobdell

    August 14, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    The way this is written makes me think this law’s been in the books for a couple hundred years and has been completely ignored until just now. Kind of like a law a teacher told us about in my home town that states any man caught eyeballing women has to wear horse blinders whenever he goes out (I’d pay to see that one enforced).

    • Greta Young

      August 14, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      Yeah apparently CA has a bunch of archaic sodomy laws left over from the gold rush days that are technically still in effect, though not regularly enforced. (Um, porn industry?) It amazes me what gets left on the books and never revised 100s of years later. There are super weird laws like that in every state.

  22. Courtney Lynn

    August 14, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Well, I’m fucked. Seriously, this is bullshit. It’s nobody’s damn business unless abuse is happening. Dropping the f-bomb is NOT abuse. We need to stop calling everything we don’t like abuse, too. That’s starting to piss me off.

    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:33 pm

      For real. Abuse and shitty parenting are 2 different things, and shitty parenting is not illegal. Like Cece’s kids who are going to lose their shit as soon as they have an emotion because they’ve never seen anyone have a mood before, deal with it, recover, apologize, and move on.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 14, 2014 at 11:39 pm

      Well, yeah, they are different but I wouldn’t call what this woman did shitty parenting, either. And if you are dumb enough to throw pizzas on top of bread, you pretty much deserve to be cursed at. That’s a dumbass thing to do.

    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:43 pm

      Ha! No, I wouldn’t either. I was thinking about the people who think putting your kid in a beauty pageant or letting them walk to the park or eat cookies for dinner is child abuse. Cuss words are words. There is a time and place and context where they’re appropriate. Also, parents are human, and it’s okay for kids to see them have emotions, make mistakes, and handle them.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 14, 2014 at 11:50 pm

      Oh, definitely.

  23. Rodiansinger

    August 14, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    World war two ended more than sixty years ago. The Cuban Missile Crisis was more than fifty years ago and the cold war petered out in 1991. The War in Afghanistan is so far away physically that for most people it may as well be fictional for all the effect that it has on North American life.
    Essentially there are no real threats to us right now. Nothing dangerous or violent going on so people have started to invent dangers and society is slowly growing more and more paranoid. This is why moms can be arrested for swearing in front of their kids or letting them play outside unsupervised. This is why dogs are put down for so much as growling at small children and peanut butter is being equated with a deadly weapon in schools. This is why so many things are suddenly being considered dangerous by certain groups, vaccinations, preservatives, anything with gluten or red dye in it and kids can be diagnosed with and medicated for serious behavioral disorders for so much as being shy or not paying attention during class . There are so few real problems these days that people are becoming paranoid about everything that lays outside their doors. This is just another example of the hyper paranoia that’s growing with every year.

    • Greta Young

      August 14, 2014 at 4:15 pm


    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:32 pm

      Nothing dangerous and violent going on? I’m guessing you’re not a young black man…I agree with some of your points, but I think that there are real dangers, and the media does its best to keep our minds off the real ones and on dumb shit like this.

  24. wispy

    August 14, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Sorry if someone already posted this, I didn’t read all the comments yet, isn’t this the same place as mom who got arrested for her kid going to the playground?

    • Dixie

      August 14, 2014 at 3:40 pm

      It is indeed. The PR department for the tourism board must be having a cow.

    • wispy

      August 14, 2014 at 3:41 pm

      Seriously! How freaking nuts.

  25. asgcugirl

    August 14, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    Sad to say that I was born and raised in North Augusta. I did leave as soon as I turned 18 and only go back to visit family. Not all of us from there are pearl clutchers. Nor do we worry about a 9 year old child going to a park alone.

  26. noodlestein's danger tits

    August 14, 2014 at 3:44 pm

    This is not the America I thought I lived in. Fremont, MO, mothers getting arrested for letting their children walk to the park or for swearing, getting pulled over because I flipped a cop off. No. This is not the America I thought I lived in. I’ve realized that our civil liberties have been getting eroded for a long time, but it seems to be gathering steam lately. Fuck. This. Shit.

    • Greta Young

      August 14, 2014 at 4:13 pm

      Right???! Ugh. I need a marriage proposal from someone in Denmark or something. STAT.

    • noodlestein's danger tits

      August 14, 2014 at 4:25 pm

      For more reasons than just for freedom. Rowr, Vikings!

  27. Rowan

    August 14, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    Someone on twitter just used the expression “hoofwanking bunglecunts”. It’s one of the most brilliant epithets I have EVER seen, and I will go to court to defend my right to use it in a time and place of my choosing.

  28. Coffee&Cats

    August 14, 2014 at 4:07 pm

    This is fucking ridiculous! I feel bad for parents nowadays. It’s like you have to walk on eggshells when your in public with your kids. I do want kids someday in the future, but this is worrying me…

  29. brebay

    August 14, 2014 at 6:35 pm

    This law is unconstitutional under the overbreadth/vagueness doctrine. I’m sure many lawyers would jump at the chance to fight this! Exactly for the reason you stated, “bawdy” is subject to interpretation, and obscenity can’t be mere words. Total bullshit. I hope she fights it and doesn’t let them bully her into taking a plea. She shouldn’t plead to fucking shit. As for the “triggered” lady, if you’re that easily triggered, stay home and have everything delivered. Don’t fuck up other peoples’ lives.

  30. brebay

    August 14, 2014 at 6:38 pm

    This is the same state that finally took the confederate flag off the state capitol in 2000, right?

  31. Cece

    August 14, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    For one thing, this story is GREATLY lacking in detail. Please keep that in mind the next time you choose to go on a rant when you only have a VERY SMALL AMOUNT of SOMEWHAT CORRECT INFORMATION. I actually witnessed THIS EXACT occurrence Sunday night in Kroger and it was WAY more than a mom cussing! She was causing a scene and kept on and on. She was directing her profanity towards those precious girls and anyone else who looked her way! It was appalling!!!! She was borderline abusive, I shudder to think what they may have to endure at home if that is how she chooses to behave in public!!! Maybe it was a good wake up call for her. I actually admire the courage of the woman who called the police!!! This mom seemed to be proud that she was causing such a scene. It was 10pm…..those kids should have been home IN BED….not dealing with her in the grocery store. So, you are right, cussing in public …is not that big of a deal….verbally abusing your children is however….UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!!

    • Alanna Jorgensen

      August 14, 2014 at 7:25 pm

      Are you the one who called? I kind of think so. Also, some kids have later bedtimes due to family schedules and it truly is none of your affair what time someone may be out with her kids. I can’t speak to your claim that you were actually there, but the amount of judgment and pearl clutching in your statement waters down the validity of your claims greatly. Perhaps work on your approach?

    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:30 pm

      Not to mention, she has no idea what is going on in this woman’s life, I hope someone judges her by her worst parenting day.

    • Jem

      August 14, 2014 at 8:14 pm

      1. I could see myself directing my “cussing” at someone if they were following me around and butting into my business. I probably wouldn’t because that’s not who I am, but I can see how she would react to others that way.

      2. Swearing in the precense of your children is not abuse. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you think something like this is abuse, you live a very blessed, blissfully ignorant life because actual child abuse is horrifying.

      3. I don’t think this would be a “wake up call” for the mom as much as unnecessarily traumatizing for her children.

      4. Others in the comments are saying that people have begun calling the police on others just over differences in parenting. Saying that it is ok to call the police because a parent has their kids up at 10pm is an example of this. Who do you think you are to tell this mother that you know better than she does if her daughters should be up? When my son was teething and couldn’t sleep because he was completely in pain, sometimes the only thing that would stop his crying and get him to relax would be a trip to the store at night. Sometimes for teething tablets, sometimes for something for mom, but always to calm him down. I am his mom and was doing what was right for him. The last thing I would have needed would be for some nosy person to decide I was abusing him by keeping him up past what they determined to be what his bedtime should be.

      5. I think you are the person who called the police as well. You come across as very judgmental and very defensive.

    • Cece

      August 14, 2014 at 10:20 pm

      I am only trying to shed light on the fact that many pieces to this incident were not put into this report and people are making judgments on incomplete information. I am not interested in feeding the hatred that seems to fuel topics like this……just speaking the facts and the truth. You may not like it but it is what it is.

    • brebay

      August 14, 2014 at 11:29 pm

      Oh, making judgments on incomplete information…sort of like the people who called the police based on a few seconds in a grocery store?

    • Jem

      August 15, 2014 at 9:52 am

      “She was borderline abusive”

      ” This mom seemed to be proud that she was causing such a scene.”

      ” It was 10pm…..those kids should have been home IN BED….not dealing with her in the grocery store”

      None of these are facts. These are all your judgmental opinions.

    • Jezebeelzebub

      August 15, 2014 at 11:11 am

      er, you may want to reacquaint yourself with the definitions of the words “fact’ and and “truth”. I think the only facts you mentioned were: 1) the physical location of the incident (Kroger); 2) the day of the incident (Sunday); and 3) the approximate time of the incident (10pm). Pretty much everything else you wrote was your opinion. You are totally entitled to not only having your feels, but sharing your feels in whatever medium or forum you choose.

      However, feelings and facts are not the same thing. Facts are not subjective. Feelings are, and even though you may very strongly feel that a thing is true, your belief does not a fact make. Just thought I’d throw that out there.

    • Courtney Lynn

      August 14, 2014 at 11:49 pm

      Got it, her behavior was uncouth. Let’s stop calling everything we don’t agree with or like abuse because it isn’t. Maybe she was in a bad mood, tired, fed up with her husband acting stupid, whatever. I think the woman who called the cops should have minded her business. She didn’t need to follow her! How much did you witness, exactly? How reliable is what you’re saying, anyway? And maybe she could have used some help, not judgement.

  32. Redheaded4trouble

    August 15, 2014 at 12:48 am

    There’s no way this is an actual law in SC! I’m lucky I’ve avoided jail time so far then. But seriously though I can’t believe this is actually going to court. WTF? Can we borrow some Augusta police officers to deal with all these shootings in 5 Points down here in the Midlands? Since it seems like they don’t have much else to do if they’re arresting people for saying naughty words.

  33. mrs.pigglewiggle

    August 15, 2014 at 2:40 am

    All I can say is, fuck these people who don’t recognize the importance of staying connected to the old English roots of our vernacular, Chaucer is spinning in his grave.
    Also I like to say fuck a lot.

  34. disqus_Ca3RDnyjPH

    August 15, 2014 at 8:56 am

    Why can’t people mind their own damn business? Let the woman raise her kids! I’m so tired of this “it takes a village” BS! Let me raise my family and you raise yours. Everyone needs to butt the F out! 🙂

    • brebay

      August 15, 2014 at 9:49 am

      This isn’t what “it takes a village” means at all. It’s about helping when asked, offering assistance when it’s needed. Not calling the cops about choices you disagree with that are not abuse. That’s just called meddling, always has been. That being said, when it comes to actual abuse, as defined by law, no one should butt out. But that’s not this.

    • disqus_Ca3RDnyjPH

      August 15, 2014 at 10:44 am

      HA! Where do you live that you can do that? The parents here don’t parent. I live in an apartment complex and have met 3 parents. None of which I would ask anything from. This summer the pool was crazy. I refused to take my son there bc the kids went without adults and threw tables and chairs in as a game, rode bikes around the pool, pushed each other in as a wrestling match. I was not going to be the adult in trouble for that. The same goes for the bus stop in the morning. I’m the only one there also. Watching them run in the road as the cars leave for work in the morning stresses me out.

  35. Rachel Vogelzang

    August 15, 2014 at 10:26 am

    In our home we call swear words strong words. We know that they shouldn’t be used at church, at school, or at grandparents’ houses. But I refuse to lie to my kid and tell her that certain words are bad while others are good. Language is entirely contextual. Actually *just* wrote about this yesterday.

  36. Jezebeelzebub

    August 15, 2014 at 11:00 am

    See you fuckers in the Big House.

  37. jendra_berri

    August 15, 2014 at 11:28 am

    Fucking freedom of speech doesn’t apply to fucking moms!

  38. PAJane

    August 15, 2014 at 12:17 pm

    Oh, fuuuc — I MEAN — um, can I stil curse in front of other people’s kids?

    • disqus_Ca3RDnyjPH

      August 15, 2014 at 12:31 pm

      If they don’t like it, they can keep their little brats at home!! 🙂

  39. RW

    August 15, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    America – you are officially a write-off.

  40. Jacklyn

    August 15, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    The lady who reported this is a nut case!! She is hysterical on the phone carrying on and on about her past pain. She needs a LOT of therapy!

  41. Arian

    August 15, 2014 at 5:19 pm

    Oh my who thought this will come back to bite well white folks in this day and age. A myriad of these types of laws and ordinances were enacted after slavery was abolished designed to keep black people under control of White folks who felt so “threatened” by the former slaves. They just wanted a way to get them off the streets and of freedom and thrown into the criminal system which would better keep them under the thumb of their former masters. A lot of black folk ended up in this unjust system and some just never came out of it because their release dates would simply be extended. The dirty secret is that the prisons used to hire them out to they were rented out to paying corporations but of course since they were prisoners they were not due any compensation. Many are familiar with what I am saying if I say prison chain gangs. But any who the article is about this ordinance. Stooopid it is, as it always was.

  42. Not Righteous

    August 16, 2014 at 2:16 am

    People do need to have some respect for kids. It’s crazy to see the comments that support this. Have we not learned a thing by our history? We are becoming more and more desensitized and morally corrupt. Soon it will be OK to smoke in front of your kids… oh that’s right many already do! Parents claim this false love for their kids when the disgusting utter selfishness is very depressing and people wonder why many kids are lost and clueless on civil living. Parents don’t teach them civil living, they teach them their own selfish ways and yet again we wonder why kids are killing and robbing and playing knock out games and so much other crap. Wake up, pull your adult pants up and be a positive contribution to the HUMAN RACE!

    • BakerMom

      August 18, 2014 at 7:42 pm

      Not Righteous, I believe you are. Swear words are part of the American vernacular. Swearing at your child, as a woman I know threw a pen at her 4 year old and said “Shut the f^&k up” is abusive, casually saying in front of your child that a coworker is a d&*k is not morally corruptive. I teach my child the realities of the world, some people are just d&*ks, it’s a part of life and we have to deal with, sometimes in life we have to take a screw it attitude and get on with our own lives. It has been found that using swear words does help convey a stronger emotion than total jerkface would. My child knows not to swear because he is a child, he knows that adults sometimes slip up and do. He knows drinking to excess is bad (as he has seen in relatives), as is smoking (his grandad), he has good manners and a great personality. It is sad when parents have more to fear from outside intervention into their parenting than stranger danger. I actually had a nightmare that the daycare wanted me to take a polygraph on my devotion to my child, who, by the way, is the star and focus of my life.

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  45. sour_sadie

    August 16, 2014 at 4:42 pm

    In the words of the late Amy Winehouse: What kind of fuckery is this?

  46. AnnoyedByThis

    August 17, 2014 at 3:13 pm

    This is ridiculous. How about let parents make their own decisions, come what may.

  47. anonymous

    August 17, 2014 at 10:42 pm

    While I agree with your support of free speech, I’m saddened by your comment that “She or i or anyone can speak as they choose to in public and to their own children”.

    Growing up, my dad verbally abused me, saying things like “I wish your mom and I had never met so I wouldn’t be stuck with you two (explicit)” and that he wished I was a drug dealer so then I’d “be in juvi and not living with [him]”. He’s also called me a failure as a human being for accidentally not closing a door all the way and cursed me out because my shoes were untied. For years, he treated me like garbage and has cursed me out repeatedly. Over the years, I have dealt with anorexia nervosa and suicidal tendencies, as well as other mental health problems that have gone undiagnosed, primarily due to his reluctance to let me see a therapist.

    I’m now sixteen, and, although he’s been getting better on the whole morality front, I still think about killing myself on a regular basis, and sometimes it feels like all the mean things he’s said to me are still rattling around inside my head.

    While I get that this woman’s comment regarding the bread probably won’t saddle her children with an eating disorder, I feel like, because children have virtually no political or economic freedom (they’re legally forced to stay with their parents, no matter how badly those parents treat them, until their eighteenth birthday), as a society we should strive to protect our children from physical or psychological trauma.

    If someone says something you don’t care for, you can simply walk away from that person. Victims of child abuse don’t have that privilege; even if their parents curse them out on a regular basis, make them feel like absolute garbage, and treat them with thinly veiled hatred, kids are legally required to stay with these people for EIGHTEEN YEARS.

    Minors don’t have the option of walking away or ignoring unpleasant comments, the way you would if someone came up to you on the treat and said something disrespectful

    • anonymous

      August 17, 2014 at 10:45 pm

      wow, don’t know why I wrote “on the treat” there
      that typo makes my whole tirade seem totally deflated 🙁

  48. Steven Piper

    August 18, 2014 at 1:44 pm

    From the comments I’m reading here, any hope I’d had left for the young people of America has vanished. The so-called parents who are responding to this piece seem to fit the cultural definition of what my dear mother would have called “white trash.” Because your children might be exposed to morally corrupting influences as they mature doesn’t mean that you as a parent should join in and cheer or, worse yet, become a source of that corruption yourself. Shame on you.

  49. Ya'll Crazy

    August 19, 2014 at 8:15 pm

    Sure the mother should have the choice to swear all she wants in front of her kids, not mine. How about putting yourself into others shoes? I won’t push my beliefs on you so don’t push yours on me! Your choice to swear in front of kids is your belief that it is OK to swear in front of kids just as much as it’s my belief it is not right to swear in front of kids. Why should you be able to push your beliefs onto me and my kids? It isn’t and just a lack of respect for others around you.

    • Ya'll Crazy

      August 19, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      *You shouldn’t and it is just a lack of respect…

  50. Tenpin

    August 20, 2014 at 4:31 pm

    My mother loves to tell this story and if we lived in today’s society she’d be arrested right now!

    My mom used to call my dad a asshole in front of me all the time. One day I was a bit more of a pain then usual.

    Me: I no asshole daddy asshole!

    I was about 2-3 somewhere in there! Thank the gods I’m 32 now! or we’d both be in jail!

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