Pregnancy and infant loss can be an incredibly difficult and painful experience for any parent. Whether it’s due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or any other issue, it’s always extremely taxing, physically and emotionally. It’s also a very isolating thing to go through. As someone who lost a baby to prematurity, I know first hand the struggle of recovering from such a heavy loss. I also recognize the importance of speaking out about it in order to help other grieving parents. Many celebrities in recent years have disclosed losses, and now actress Melissa Rauch is announcing her pregnancy after a devastating miscarriage.
The star of the Big Bang Theory recently wrote an exclusive essay in Glamour Magazine to let the world know she is expecting a child with her husband, Winston Beigel. In her essay, Rauch reveals details about her tragic loss and the effect it had one her afterwards.
What It’s Like to Get Pregnant After Miscarriage
“During the time when I was grieving over my pregnancy loss or struggling with fertility issues, every joyful, expectant baby announcement felt like a tiny stab in the heart,” Rauch confessed in the essay.
“It’s not that I wasn’t happy for these people, but I would think, ‘Why are these shiny, carefree, fertile women so easily able to do what I cannot?'”
This feeling is so common among loss mothers, and it’s nice to have someone with a large platform telling it like it is. She also explains how she felt conflicted about announcing her own, rainbow pregnancy (the pregnancy after a loss) because she didn’t want other loss moms to feel what she once felt, but she also saw the opportunity to explain that it wasn’t easy for her to get there.
“…when I thought about having to share the news about expecting this baby, all I could think about was another woman mourning over her loss as I did, worried she would never get pregnant again, and reading about my little bundle on the way. It felt a bit disingenuous to not also share the struggle it took for me to get here.”
Changing the Language
She also shared this tidbit about how she feels the term ‘miscarriage’ can cause mothers to feel guilty.
“‘Miscarriage’ by the way, deserves to be ranked as one of the worst, most blame-inducing medical terms ever. To me, it immediately conjures up an implication that it was the woman’s fault, like she somehow “mishandled the carrying of this baby.’ F that so hard, right in its patriarchal nut-sack. It’s not that a better name would make it less awful to go through. But for a while, my husband and I just started saying to each other—without any judgment or acrimony to the baby, of course—that the baby ‘bailed’ instead.”
Love this so hard. Seriously want to give her a high-five.
You can read more of Rauch’s candid essay on Glamours’ website.
Rauch’s rainbow baby is due this Fall. Sending her lots of positive vibes from one loss mama to another.
(Image: YouTube / E! News)