"I want to relax and heave a collected sigh of relief that the day is done. I have no desire to play birds and bees. But, by God, men need it. My husband is just as in need as the hungry Betta Fish. I need it, too, but not as much as my husband. This doesn’t mean that I’m abnormal or completely lacking a libido. It just means that my testosterone levels aren’t as high as his. I often forget that sometimes I shouldn’t be selfish.
Sometimes I should meet the need, whether or not I’m in the need-meeting mood."
"Unless a partner has a history of sexual trauma and abuse (sadly, this is common, but it is certainly not every single person), I believe that sex can, and even should, be another thing you do because you love your partner, even if you're not in the mood.
I am not advocating non-consensual sex. I am advocating CONSENTING to sex because you want to be a loving partner.
Both men and women deny their spouses sex. I am, for the record, saying BOTH MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD SUCK IT UP AND HAVE SEX WHEN THEY DON'T WANT TO, FOR THE GOOD OF THE MARRIAGE."
"Further, this means that you don't get to lay around during the act like you have recently died, without even the possibly exciting novelty of rigor mortis. You are supposed to try to at least be loving and nice. When you're interacting with your disliked inlaws, this means you put a smile on your face during the visit. During sex, this means act like you're not about to be beheaded tomorrow morning and someone just pissed on your specially requested last meal."