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Man Rats Out Wife To Police For The Dumbest Reason In The Entire World

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Communication is paramount in a relationship. A lot of problems could be solved by just talking to one’s spouse what is going on, or what they want for their birthday, or just asking them a couple questions. One Minnesota man has now earned the mockery of the entire Internet and the probable wrath of his wife for calling the cops and trying to turn her into police for the dumbest fucking reason in the entire world.

According to Refinery29, the Wyoming, Minnesota, man was going through his wife’s purse when he found what he assumed were drugs and totally freaked out and called the police on his wife.

It was actually just a broken cocktail umbrella in a plastic bag, but the man thought it was drugs and immediately called the police to rat on his wife.

The police were as bewildered as we are, when a guy going through his wife’s purse tried to turn her in for drug possession due to a broken cocktail umbrella. It’s just a lasagna of “dude, what are you doing?” First of all, why are you going through your wife’s purse? Second of all, if you found something suspicious why didn’t you ask her instead of calling the police? Thirdly, have you never seen a paper umbrella before?

Even the police didn’t know what to be most surprised about, but they posted the photo of the “evidence” to Twitter so the Internet could share in their bewilderment.

The police say the man had genuinely never seen a cocktail umbrella before. They had to google a photo of one to show him what they were talking about.

That seems odd. Does the man not watch TV? I feel like I see drinks with little paper umbrellas in them all the time.

The police joked that the man might want to bring roses and a card when he told his wife about what had happened, and that’s probably just the beginning of the groveling this guy should be doing. He was snooping, he snitched on his wife to the police, and he’s so dumb he thought a broken toothpick umbrella was some kind of drugs. Any of those could be a deal-breaker.

What do you think is the most ridiculous part of this story, the snitching or the fact that this guy didn’t know what a cocktail umbrella was? Let us know in the comments.

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