10 Legitimate Things I’ve Been Mommy Shamed About

I’ve written quite a bit about mommy shame here at Mommyish, and for the most part I think it’s bullshit. My personal theory on the matter has always been that some women see other women’s choices an an indictment on their own, and that’s simply not the case 90 percent of the time. But there is such a thing as legitimate mommy shame, and boy oh boy have I experienced it. Because nobody is perfect, and I am as far from perfect as one can possibly get.

10. Raising my voice in public

And my “raising my voice” I mean practically screaming in a Waldbaum’s parking lot. Once time I got so frustrated that I threw an entire dozen eggs on the ground. Basically I had an adult hissy fit, and it was not my proudest moment.

9. Being terrible at accountability

This isn’t a frequent thing, but there are certain mom-responsibilities that I continue to struggle with. Like homework. Or making sure my kids have clean socks. I once fed my kids mac and cheese like three times in a week. Like, as an entire meal. In my defense, we had just moved, but I still had a bitchy neighbor say something about childhood obesity blah blah blah.

8. I rarely censor myself

I have a mouth like a truck driver (in case you haven’t noticed), and I rarely censor myself around my kids. Somehow none of them have picked up a nasty cursing habit, which I completely attribute to threats and luck, but I still get the stink eye from certain people in my family if I accidentally drop an f bomb or ten.

7. Two words – Baby Leash

You know those leash-type harnesses that everyone seems to hate. Yup, I will use the fuck out of one of those. I had two runners and I watched my cousin get hit by a speeding car on her 16th birthday, so judge all you want, but at least I feel safe and my kid can walk around. Still, I kind of get why people hate these things. I mean, it’s a LEASH. But how cute and happy does that baby look up there?

6. I am extremely competitive

I’m the type of parent that has to take a deep breath and remind myself that these are just kids and not professional athletes/artists/performers.

5. I hate volunteering

I am an introvert and until I get to know someone, I am awkward as hell. This makes volunteer work excruciating, especially when I’m volunteering with a bunch of parents I don’t know, who inevitably all know each other. It feels like high school all over again.

4. Other people’s kids often annoy me

Obviously I’m not saying I go up to random kids and tell them to eff off, but my house is definitely not a hangout spot. Don’t get me wrong, I love my nieces and nephews, and my friend’s kids are great, but if I don’t know you? Nope-O-Rama.

3. I let my oldest kid watch horror movies

Letting little kids watch wildly inappropriate horror movies is kind of a Locke tradition. I was totally given nightmares by Nightmare On Elm Street and I’m sure I gave my oldest nightmares with The Grudge. It’s the circle of life.

2. I’m lazy about potty training

I once had a mom jokingly say that she potty trained her kids at 18 months “at gun point.” Once I managed to roll my eyes back to the front of my head I just laughed and laughed (in horror). I’m basically the opposite of this. My kids are all done with it now, but at least one of my kids came dangerously close to three and a half before they were completely weaned from pull ups.

1. My kids have a TV in their room

This isn’t to say that the TV is always on, but they watch their fair share of cartoons (and they can watch Frozen for the 100th time while I watch House in the living room…so sue me).