11 Last-Minute Stocking Stuffers: How To Sell Them To Your Kids

Last Christmas Eve, I thought I had everything all sewn up: our tree was decorated, our garland was hung, the presents were wrapped and ready to go, the stockings were hung by the chi — oh noes. Yes, I realized at 5pm on Christmas Eve that I had completely forgotten about stockings. There was only one place I could go to find just the right assortment of crap: Rite Aid.

I managed to piece something together by relying heavily on candy. But should you find yourself in a similar predicament this year, here are some items that will likely still be there when you raid your local drugstore the night before Christmas:

1. Lip Balm

I know Mommy told you you’re too young for make-up. But it’s small and pink and Santa was running out of time. Don’t wear it outside of the house.

2. Shower Mitt

Wow, a shower mitt! You can use it during the seconds you spend actually trying to get your body clean when you’re in the tub. You, know, in between gargling and spitting out bath water.

3. Rubicks Cube

Santa said there were a ton of these still left at the factory, isn’t that crazy? Now go learn about patience.

4. Luggage Scale and Tape Measure

Look at that! It’s so you can weigh and measure your luggage at home! Go play.

5. Air Freshener

Mmmmmm…smell that? It’ll make your room smell like vanilla instead of anus.

6. Shower Cap

You can use these like little waterproof hats! Or we can get you some curlers and a cigarette and you can pretend to be Grandma!

7. Band-Aids

Jack pot.

Who loves a band-aid more than a kid? Nobody.

8. Flashlights

Second in love only to band-aids.

9. Cribbage Board

What is this game? Well, the instructions talk about things like “Muggins” and “The Show,” so that sounds like…I don’t know…singing Hobbits? Harry Potter learns the art of dance? Two wrestlers meet for their final battle? I have no clue.

10. Balance Bar