Breaking Kim Kardashian Pregnancy News: You WON’T Believe What She Is Craving!
Gorgeous and brilliant reality TV star, role model, fashion designer, singer and proud mom-to-be Kim Kardashian sat down with E News and told them all about how she wishes she was craving junk food like McDonald’s and Taco Bell, but instead the aspirational mommy-to-be is instead indulging in snacks that will totally shock you!
“I just don’t crave any of the junk food that I used to eat normally and that really is upsetting to me,” Kardashian told E! News. “I thought I was going to be home eating like McDonald’s and Taco Bell and ice cream—can’t eat any of it.”
So, if she’s not noshing on junk food, what exactly does the expectant Kardashian reach for when she feels like noshing?
Get ready to be totally surprised you guys!!!!!
“I crave carrots and celery with ranch,” she revealed. “I have to have that once a day, and protein bars.”
Amazing! Isn’t this the best and most fascinating Kimye pregnancy news ever?! No? Yeah, you are right, I can’t even do a good job of feigning interest in this shit. Carrot sticks, protein bars, whoopee, you want a medal or something? I suppose some people find what “celebs” (who here wants to remind me what Kim is famous for!) eat during pregnancy fascinating, but I find what actual not-on TV women eat during pregnancy a lot more interesting, because they always have cooler answers, like “laundry detergent.” OK yeah, I won’t make pica jokes, because pica is a serious issue, yo, but like it’s hard to get super excited about carrot sticks.
I would rather hear about women who broke down in tears because they had to have a certain type of Trader Joe’s cookie or sustained their pregnancies off eating ripe avocados and Wheat Thins or something. When I was knocked up, I wanted really nutritional and easy-to-obtain things like the burnt sugar off of Creme Brûlée or blood oranges that weren’t in season or sticky Szechuan beef at 3 a.m. You know, stuff like I always want now. And how can Kim claim she doesn’t want ice cream? I call shenanigans at that nonsense, because no normal sane person, pregnant or not pregnant, doesn’t want ice cream. Unless Kanye isn’t “letting” her eat any. Now I feel bad I made fun of Kim, again! And for those of you who will tell me that Kim IS actually eating ice cream, because look at the picture of her eating ice cream, I will tell you that is NOT ice cream, it is Pinkberry, which is frozen yogurt. Totally different. Uh-huh.