Kim Kardashian Has Cellulite, Piers Morgan Fat-Shames Her On Live Television
Suppurating sore Piers Morgan has taken a break from being brutally pummeled by J.K. Rowling on Twitter to go after easier famous-woman prey and fat-shame Kim Kardashian for having cellulite, which 90 percent of women have. Cellulite is perfectly normal. In fact it’s a lot more than normal. Not having cellulite is abnormal. Only about 10 percent of women in the world don’t have cellulite, and it occurs regardless of diet, exercise, or body type, so it’s not clear what, exactly, Piers Morgan expects Kim Kardashian to do about the fact that she has cellulite.
We already know that Kardashian works out every day and has taken every single step science and willpower can take to make her look as physically beautiful as possible–her looks are a big part of why she can make $50 million in a year, so of course she’s going to spend millions to preserve and maximize them. If Kim Kardashian can’t completely defeat cellulite, cellulite can’t be defeated. One could take that as a sign that we should all just accept the cellulite and not hate it so much, but Piers Morgan wants to make sure everyone thinks cellulite is a flaw that we should be ashamed of.
Kim Kardashian is on a vacation in Mexico, playing in the water on the beach in a bikini. While there, some paparazzi got a photo of her ass, and it shows visible cellulite. We’ve all seen Kardashian’s ass a lot. She even sells a pool float shaped like it. But Kardashian’s butt is normally photographed in a studio setting with controlled light, good angles, and makeup to make it look smooth and perfect. This photo is more like when your kid steals your iPhone and takes a picture of you.
So, Kim Kardashian has cellulite. Even without the photographic proof, most of us probably would have guessed that she had some. As Allure points out, Scientific American says that cellulite affects 90 percent of women, regardless of diet, exercise, or body type.
Kim Kardashian’s cellulite was a topic of discussion on Good Morning Britain, where Morgan actually started out sounding like a normal person and saying that the photos were cool because they showed that she was not flawless, because nobody is flawless. But when his cohost said “I think we should celebrate cellulite. It’s a fact of life for, I’d say, 90 percent of women.” Morgan got very upset about the idea that we’d all just suddenly be chill with our own asses.
“Why would we celebrate it? We put up with it, tolerate it, but not accept it,” he insisted.
Maybe because we shouldn’t have to go through life “putting up with” our bodies and not stressing about the parts we can’t change? Life is short. We shouldn’t have to spend it resenting our bodies for being bodies.
After the show, Morgan took to Twitter to continue to insist that nobody speak positively of cellulite. I guess he just wants to make sure that 90 percent of women feel at least a little bit uncomfortable in their bodies at all times.
Why is it always dudes who look like Piers Morgan who feel the need to nitpick women’s bodies? They could just go about their day secure in the knowledge that all human beings have a plethora of flaws, because we are mortal and we come from dust and to dust we will return. But no, he wants to make sure that we all know that this doughy old man thinks Kim Kardashian should feel bad about her butt.
This is the face of a man who would tell the Mona Lisa to smile.
Anybody wet now?
A Daily Mail comments section came to life, so of course someone gave it a TV show.
This guy is just a palate cleanser. I wasn’t going to leave you guys with a string of Piers Morgan GIFs like that.