A Child’s View Of The Sex Talk, As Told Through Gifs
I talked to my kids about sex for the first time a few years ago. I consider myself to be an open-minded person with a sex-positive attitude, but when I had to sit down and talk about how babies are made with a four-year-old, I was incredibly uncomfortable. Unsurprisingly, my kids were every bit as uncomfortable as I was.
The first time around they surprised me with the question, so I hadn’t had time to prepare. I freaked and said something about seeds and plants. It was terrible. The second time, I brought it up and decided to give them the bare facts (see what I did there?). They were disgusted, and I am not exaggerating when I use that word. It was hilarious. As my daughter put it, “Ew, Mom. I’m glad you only had that gross thing happen to you twice.”
Yes, child. Just twice. And it was awful. Don’t do it till you’re 25.
Let me lay out for you, using gifs, how my children reacted to their first real sex talk.
1. When two people love each other very much…
2. Sometimes they decide to have a baby together.
3. If it’s a man and a woman, they might do this by having what’s called “sex.”
4. What happens during that kind of sex is…
5. A man puts his penis inside a woman’s vagina.
6. Then sperm comes out of his penis…
7. And finds the woman’s egg…
8. And sometimes the sperm and egg get together and start to grow into a baby.
9. That baby grows inside the woman’s uterus…
10. Until it comes out in nine months, either through her vagina…
11. Or by a c-section, which means that doctors cut open her tummy and take the baby out.
12. Any questions?