Women's Issues

To The Sanctimonious Catholic Blogger Judging Girls For Buying Condoms: STFU

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shutterstock_199034324Before we get started, let me tell you all that I am Catholic. I am not a very active Catholic but I try to follow the rules and our kids are in religious education classes. Both have been baptized and we plan for them to follow through as many of the sacraments as they are willing. Mine and my husband’s families are both devoutly Catholic and several are heavily involved in their churches as Eucharistic ministers, readers, choir members, etc. This post is NOT a Catholic bash. It is a bashing of a sanctimonious and judgmental person who just happens to be Catholic.

Now that we have that out of the way, let us continue.

This post comes to us from Catholicmom.com via a tip from loyal Mommyish reader Allthingsblue and I am going to quote the most WTF passages so we can figure out together what exactly in the hell is going on:

 

Dear young woman who I observed buying condoms at the store the other night,

You probably didn’t notice that we crossed paths the other night. Coincidence Providence placed us in the same grocery aisle when I was buying baby supplies which someone humorously located right across from the family planning section.

You were there with a girlfriend and you were on your cell phone. You sounded a bit tipsy.

 

Ok, judgement number one: she thinks this young lady is tipsy. And my response to that? So the fuck what? Was she behind the wheel of a vehicle? Was she swearing and hollering at you? Was she slurring her words and falling on the ground? Doesn’t sound like it. Apparently, she was just trying to buy condoms like a responsible young person about to go out for the night SHOULD be doing. Gird your loins, because this is just the beginning.

 

As I walked by holding my baby, I overheard you explain to your caller, “I’m trying to buy condoms here.”

I admit it: I shuddered when you said that. Judging by appearances, you must be at least ten years younger than myself. No wedding ring either.

Your girlfriend casually suggested buying someone else a box of condoms too. And one for herself. “Might as well,” you said.

Then my heart bled.

 

No wedding ring, 10 years younger- obviously a deviant harlot with no morals whatsoever, amirite? And she wanted to buy not one, not two, but THREE boxes of condoms?! I think Baby Jesus has the vapors. And now your heart is bleeding- you’re kidding, right?

 

Let me explain. I realize we aren’t personally acquainted. I’m not here to judge you or belittle you or to lambast you with fire and brimstone over your personal choices but I am here to tell you one thing: you are beautiful.

Let me repeat that. You. Are. Beautiful.

That’s probably why it hurt to overhear you that night, to watch you and your friend pay for your condoms and walk away laughing into the night. Because there but for the grace of God go I.

I wanted to run after you and tell you how you deserved better than inebriated “safe” sex, to show you a card of the Divine Mercy, to introduce you to my one-year-old as an interactive example of what sex is actually meant for.

I wonder if you would have listened.

 

I cannot believe she has the nerve (or the ignorance) to say that she is not judging these young ladies. She may not have set out to judge people at the drug store that evening but “Providence” would have it that she is doing that very thing. I’m sure this young lady IS beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that she is planning to go out and find someone who agrees to go home and get busy with safely and SO WHAT? Sex is not only for making babies, as she states, it is also for fun and for pleasure. A woman IS allowed to have sex outside of marriage and not with the intent of creating new life. And might I say, if some lunatic came running up to me in the condom aisle at the drug store shoving her baby in my face and preaching at me I probably would have called drug store security.

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243 Comments

  1. JenH1986

    July 26, 2014 at 9:27 am

    I don’t see her throwing herself in front of a bus for a stranger. She just judged the hell out of her based on zero interaction. That’s a very Christian thing to do…and I can’t with the assumption sex is only for babies. Its too early for a rage stroke_ right?

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 9:35 am

      Yea, I don’t see her throwing herself in front of a bus as much as pushing someone else in front of one.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:35 am

      Yeah, she is basically insufferable.

    • The Hero of Akron-Canton

      July 28, 2014 at 4:39 pm

      I see her throwing herself in front of a bus over and over but that’s just in my head 🙁

    • Shelly Lloyd

      July 26, 2014 at 10:03 am

      I really, really hate it when someone will say something along the lines of throwing their self in-front of bus/speeding car to save a stranger. Cause you know what, until it happens to you; most of the times you really do not know how you will react. And most of the time it happens so freaking fast you have no ideal how to react.

    • The Actual Devil

      July 26, 2014 at 10:55 am

      Yes! It reminds my of the whole evangelical fundie spiel about wifely submission. They say the wife submits and then the husband will be overcome by manly man feels and be prepared to die for her. So she is supposed to be his servant and put up with everything for this meaningless promise that he would die for her.

    • AlexMMR

      July 26, 2014 at 4:16 pm

      Oh he might be perfectly happy to die for her, to walk through fire for her, but to get up at 3am to give the baby a bottle so she can get some god damned sleep, not so much*.

      *My husband is awesome, took over nightly feedings so I could sleep. Amongst my mommy peers, my husband was the only one though.

    • Linzon

      July 26, 2014 at 6:40 pm

      I gave blood last week and had a bad reaction on the bus on the way home. I looked and sounded like I was off-my-ass drunk because I could no longer feel my hands or feet and couldn’t talk. What are the odds that she would have helped me without an explanation?

    • JenH1986

      July 26, 2014 at 10:04 pm

      Zero. She would have judged the shit out of you but told you you were beautiful.BOOM all better!

  2. Jessie

    July 26, 2014 at 9:30 am

    …. ashjffgsjdfjklgdsasjkl OMFG WHAT EVEN IS THIS… *huff* *huff*…

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:39 am

      You have no idea how many times I LIT-RULLY threw up my hands and went “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!” when I first read this. This woman is just beyond.

    • Elyne

      July 26, 2014 at 9:46 am

      You should read this from Matt Walsh about 50 grades of grey something similar.
      http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/07/25/women-america-4-reasons-hate-50-shades-grey/

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 9:47 am

      I know I shouldn’t, but I’m going to anyways. Rage is good for my morning work-out.

    • Elyne

      July 26, 2014 at 9:50 am

      Some of the commenters are even worse. Especially going on about feminism – apparently i got all wrong – according to them at least.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 9:53 am

      I have to say, I agree with his overarching idea, though?! Yikes.

      “A more massive bust than Battlefield Earth and Gigli combined. A financial failure so staggering that it results in the immediate termination of every employee at the movie studio responsible for producing it. A categorical and unanimous rejection of what is sure to be the most abominable, morally and mentally bankrupt ensemble of subpar acting and stilted dialogue ever cobbled together and presented, through any medium, to any audience, anywhere, at any point in history.”

      Perhaps not the “morally bankrupt” part, but certainly abominable, mentally bankrupt, subpar acting and stilted dialogue. I support a boycott of this movie for those very same reasons. 🙂

    • Kitsune

      July 26, 2014 at 9:56 am

      It seriously looks to be the unsexiest movie about sex ever.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 10:09 am

      Except for the Crazy in Love remix. I already searched for it on iTunes. Not available yet. 🙁

    • Jessie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:59 am

      I am ALMOST tempted to go see it for the same reason I want to see Guardians of the Galaxy: It’s got at least a 99% chance to be SUCH terrific disaster of a movie that it’s worth dropping the $12 on just for the LOLZ.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 10:06 am

      That’s why God (or someone in his capacity) created Redbox. So we can watch terrible movies in our home for a tenth of the price of a single movie ticket.
      And if we wait we can do our own version of Rifftrax without being kicked out by ushers.

    • Alicia

      July 26, 2014 at 12:46 pm

      THANK YOU! I think they both look terrible!

    • Elyne

      July 26, 2014 at 10:04 am

      That i agree with but his holier than thou attitude is just really freaking annoying. Like he’s the best ( Christian). Porn isn’t evil or something of satan it’s just porn.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 10:08 am

      Oh, absolutely agree on his attitude – that’s why I expected to hate this article, but with this book and movie I agree with his points more than I disagree.

      Although there WAS this little gem of misogyny that he had to throw in: “millions of women (and some henpecked, kowtowing men) will run off to watch this trite, lascivious garbage.”

      I mean, yeah…the book is primarily aimed at women readership, but let’s not play into the stereotype that men go see “chick flicks” because they’ve essentially had their balls cut off by their dominating wives. My husband saw The Fault in our Stars with me, not because I am some Amazonian dominatrix, but because he is a good person and understands COMPROMISE.

    • K.

      July 26, 2014 at 1:31 pm

      Not to mention, I suffer through plenty of unbelievably stupid flicks marketed towards men (“Green Lantern” anyone?) and no one’s ever accused me of being “less of a woman” or stupid or spineless because I saw them. Yet, if a man goes and sees a chick-flick, clearly something’s wrong with his brain, self-esteem, or dick.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      Because that’s a woman’s place – to do whatever the man wants her to do.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      July 26, 2014 at 10:57 am

      That’s my major problem with him. His overarching ideas will be legit enough that I can support them (except when it comes to abortion and a “woman’s place”, obvs.), but then he’ll divert the train straight into Douchebroville, population higher than I care to think about. He’s obviously not a dumb guy, just severely misinformed and willfully ignorant.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 10:20 am

      I’m not touching the comments with a ten foot pole.

    • Elyne

      July 26, 2014 at 10:26 am

      It’s prolly the best, I shouldn’t have read them but i did it anyways. And now i’m pretty much raging.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:47 am

      I will after I finish my next post. I can’t go down the Matt Walsh rabbit hole without some extra time on my hands to dedicate to a few hours of incoherent rage.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 9:48 am

      I can’t read Matt Walsh with this little coffee in my system. I’ll have to rely on the rest of you for right now.

    • Shelly Lloyd

      July 26, 2014 at 10:00 am

      Well I plan on not going. Not because of any moral outrage, but because 50 Shades of Gray was mind-numbingly awful, badly written, poorly disguised Twilight fan-fic, that was ever shat out of a fan girls pen.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 10:08 am

      There’s so much good fanfic with that particular theme I’ll be forever at a loss as to why that’s the one that got so much notice.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 10:17 am

      “Shat out of a fan girl’s pen” just got me giggling. That’s pretty much a perfect image of how 50 Shades was written.

    • Korine

      July 26, 2014 at 11:46 am

      Thought about clicking, but I’m not feeling masochistic enough for a Matt Walsh piece today.

    • Abby

      July 26, 2014 at 4:12 pm

      I saw that on my Facebook, and at first I thought, “Oh good, someone is going to address this movie and how it portrays an abusive and nonconsensual relationship as ideal and desirable!”

      And then it was just about how people shouldn’t do the porn. Sigh.

    • Guest

      July 26, 2014 at 11:52 pm

      If Matt Walsh is telling me not to do something, I MUST go do it. That guy is an ass. I have unfriended people for sharing his tripe on Facebook.

    • Jessie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:54 am

  3. Spongeworthy

    July 26, 2014 at 9:34 am

    There’s way too much here for me to even wrap my brain around, but here’s one thing. Can we please stop with the assumption that single women who have sex just need to hear that they are beautiful? That women who have sex outside of marriage must have such low self-esteem that they have sex to please a man, any man? I’m so sick of it. I had plenty of sex before marriage, and it wasn’t because I thought I was unattractive or unworthy of love or any of the other reasons that this lady put on this young woman. Sex can be just for fun, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:41 am

      I also have to wonder- would she or her husband have this same concern for a group of “tipsy” young men buying condoms? Or is this condom-nation (see what I did there?) only for the slutty mcslutterson girl-folk?

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 9:46 am

      I somehow doubt her heart would have BLED for a dude buying condoms.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:46 am

      #bleedingheart

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 9:47 am

      Something tells me that Catholic Mom is, wait for it…..#blessed.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:49 am

      Child after child after child. I hate using this term because it’s so played out but I think I just threw up in my mouth.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 9:48 am

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:48 am

      SHE DOESN’T EVEN GO HERE!

    • Husenchik

      July 26, 2014 at 10:35 am

      Selena Gomez boob grab in a brahttp://www.reddit.com/r/pussy/comments/1rnrj7/selena_gomez_boob_grab_in_a_bra/

    • The Actual Devil

      July 26, 2014 at 11:02 am

      I really don’t want to know anything about Selena’s boobs. Growing up I thought she was the coolest ever and I’m deeply saddened by this whole Bieber/drugs/craziness deal she has going on.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 10:11 am

      Upvote based strictly on your use of puns.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 10:49 am

      I try to be punny!

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 9:41 am

      Exactly. When I was in my early twenties, I KNEW I was beautiful. That’s precisely the reason I was having sex with beautiful men. 🙂

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 9:45 am

      Right? I didn’t want to marry any of those guys or have their babies. I just wanted to see them naked!
      Get it drugstore girl.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:51 am

      I want to find this girl and send her 10 boxes of condoms. Good for her!

      http://gloryboon.files.wordpress.com/2014/04/tumblr_lqtzdoz7xk1r2ympko1_500.gif?w=520

    • Guest

      July 26, 2014 at 11:56 am

      I’m going guest bc I know it’s an insufferable thing to say, but: I’m beautiful. By this I mean that I am conventionally attractive. I’m told often and by strangers. I don’t take any credit for it and it doesn’t define me, but when I was younger it made me want to go out and “not waste” it! I slept with a lot of guys, safely and with no regrets. But if I went through a dry spell, I got out there and did something about it, because, hell I’m beautiful! Nooo self esteem issues here and *gasp* my life is great and fulfilling and meaningful.

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 12:25 pm

      No hate from me on you saying you’re beautiful! I have no problem with that. I am no stunner, but I’ve always been confident and pretty comfortable with myself. Like you, I had plenty of fun when I was younger and have no regrets. Also, I think for me, having my fun made me more ready to settle down when I met my husband. I didn’t feel like I had missed out on anything. And I’m pretty damn happy with my life now.

    • JenH1986

      July 26, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      I had/have sex because I like sex, its fun, I enjoy it. I did not and do not have sex for validation of my looks or me. I do me just fine. Not sure why that’s so hard for some to believe

    • Kitsune

      July 26, 2014 at 2:14 pm

      I don’t think it’s insufferable especially how you phrased it with not defining you. I have no shame so I will say it too, I am beautiful and not in a Christina Aguilera song kind of way. I used to model and have a magical ability to make drunk straight girls question their sexuality. I had a lot of fun in my twenties because I like sex and am confident. I have no regrets and neither does my husband.

    • Spiderpigmom

      July 28, 2014 at 10:33 am

      Haha, not insufferable at all! People generally know they’re conventionally beautiful, as they know they’re conventionally ugly, and they act accordingly. It’s refreshing that someone acknowledges it. But it’s saddening she feels she has to go anonymous to say it.

    • K.

      July 26, 2014 at 1:47 pm

      That comment makes me eyes burn. I hate it when people slap hearts onto misogyny and pretend it’s feminism.

    • JJ

      July 26, 2014 at 2:20 pm

      I remember a time when me and two high school friends were out in a pharmacy/Lawtons store and she stopped by the condom aisle to grab some. We were in the later years of high school and fact of life people have sex including teens. If anything she was being responsible picking up condoms and using birth control. But anways some busy body bitch in the next aisle was like glaring at us standing in that aisle and she just stopped. To stare and glare intensely. I wanted to yell mind your business bitch but then we thought it would be funnier to pretend we already had kids LOL. So we talked about these non existant kids we made up to sound like a bunch of teen moms just to piss her off more. When really there is nothing wrong with teen moms or any young man or lady who chooses to have sex. But its people like the lady in this article and the nosey women in the pharmacy store who just get on my nerves. If anything she should be congratulating people on safe sex and taking precaution. God knows I have seen kids out buying condoms or birth control and secretly want to yell out “yes thank you! Your doing the right thing and taking control of your health that is awesome!”. But maybe I am just a freak like that.

  4. Elyne

    July 26, 2014 at 9:37 am

    Amen!

  5. Spongeworthy

    July 26, 2014 at 9:39 am

  6. Kitsune

    July 26, 2014 at 9:40 am

    I think what bothers me most is the assumption that if I only knew about Christ, I would totally change my mind about having all the sex. I wouldn’t. I think waiting till marriage can be problematic and I place no value on virginity. I don’t think you have to even be in love to enjoy sex or only enjoy it with one person. Shoving a baby in my face definitely wouldn’t have changed my beliefs in my 20s and wouldn’t change my mind now that I’m married with my own child. I personally think having had sex with only one person to make babies is kind of weird but I don’t think to myself ” I wish I could throw that mother a pack of condoms. If she only knew how fun orgies are”. I know that just because a lifestyle is not for me, it doesn’t mean someone else regrets theirs.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:42 am

      Very much this!!

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 9:53 am

      Yes x 1000000 to this.

    • Aimee

      July 26, 2014 at 10:24 am

      I’m pretty sure if someone had shoved a snotty, crying one-year-old plastered with mushy Cheerios in my face when I was a happy-go-lucky college kid, I wouldn’t now have children of my own.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 10:45 am

      I love kids, and I started babysitting at fourteen, and it pretty much put me off having my own for a long time. If someone tried to convince me in my college years by shoving their baby in my face and talking about the magic of conceiving child after child with my husband I’d have bought all the condoms I could afford and then asked my female friend if we should date each other so we could have all the sexy time we want with no risk of popping a baby out.

    • Aimee

      July 26, 2014 at 11:33 am

      “You don’t want me to buy condoms because I don’t understand how good it feels to go ‘au naturel’? Okay. Here, let me buy you some condoms. They’re ribbed for your pleasure and I wouldn’t want you to miss out. You know what? You ARE beautiful and you deserve to have your husband hit your G-spot just right with one of these bad boys.”

    • CD Cross

      July 26, 2014 at 11:23 am

      “I think what bothers me most is the assumption that if I only knew about Christ, I would totally change my mind…” I think that is a fair assessment of why anyone might think about what he believes is true, but the fact is, you cannot change your mind even if you did know about Christ, and here is why: even the old Devil knew ABOUT Christ; more than that, he KNEW Christ,.and not only knew him, but could recite every word that Jesus ever spoke that was written in the Scriptures. Yet, he hated Christ. Why? Because he chose not to be LIKE him. No one can possibly understand what Christ is about—or even what you are about—until he does the very things that make him that way. So to say that you would not change because of what you might know about someone is a true statement. But I dare say that if you actually did what he did, you could not keep the beliefs you have now. Please know I am not judging in any way what you believe, but merely pointing out the difference in knowing about someone, and being like him.

    • The Actual Devil

      July 26, 2014 at 11:28 am

      I do KNOW Christ. We have tea every Saturday afternoon. He says he’s chill with condoms. 😉

    • CD Cross

      July 26, 2014 at 11:30 am

      Your handle says it all. ‘Nuff’ said!

    • Joye77

      July 26, 2014 at 11:37 am

      Since the devil KNOWS Christ I am going to assume that you know what he would think about all the CONDOMS.

    • The Actual Devil

      July 26, 2014 at 11:30 am

      Also, what is the deal with fundie trolls and CAPITALIZING?

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 2:26 pm

    • CD Cross

      July 26, 2014 at 2:33 pm

      Hahaha. I see you love to communicate.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Why use words when Tina Fey can sum it up in one fabulous .gif?

    • CD Cross

      July 26, 2014 at 2:50 pm

      At least you’re honest. No candy-coating here. I don’t have a problem with it at all.

    • Kitsune

      July 26, 2014 at 2:33 pm

      Thank you that was pretty much my face at this comment. I really don’t have any other response because they seemed to have missed the “stop trying to make Christ happen” portion of my comment.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 2:36 pm

      I am an unabashed Catholic, but I absolutely hate insufferable, pretentious, and condescending Christians. And I have a feeling so does Tina Fey.

    • Kitsune

      July 26, 2014 at 2:40 pm

      I’m agnostic but I do have friends who are both religious and atheists and we all get along because none of us are sanctimonious dicks about it. I hope I didn’t come across as disrespectful and I apologize if I did but judging makes me ragey.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 2:45 pm

      No, no, no! I totally understand…the way I was raised, evangelism of faith was not a *thing* like it is for many denominations. I hate the assumption that Christ is the end-all-be-all for everyone just because I find comfort in his word and life.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 6:03 pm

      Another “I’m not judging, but totally judging” statements. Comparing someone to Satan is pretty judgemental.

      Take it away, Sherlock!

      http://img.pandawhale.com/post-34984-dont-talk-out-loud-gif-Sherloc-WpCv.gif

    • CD Cross

      July 26, 2014 at 6:17 pm

      That is the most preposterous and outlandish accusation I have ever heard. You haven’t a clue what a comparative statement is, do you? No one is comparing any human being to Satan. Did you even read what I wrote, or did you just see the word and come to some ludicrous conclusion. I was not even making a comparison involving Satan. Go back and re-read what I wrote. I was drawing a difference between the words, “about,”, “knew,” and “like”—Sherlock! What, are you in Fourth grade?

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 6:49 pm

      You took her statement about knowing Christ, then said even if she knew him her opinion wouldn’t change because Satan knew Christ and didn’t change his opinion. That would be a comparison to Satan.
      And, please, if I were in fourth grade I’d post the Monty Python “fart in your general direction gif”.

    • CD Cross

      July 26, 2014 at 7:07 pm

      Seriously? Are you for real? It was not at all a comparison of Satan to her, but an analogy of Satan and Christ. Perhaps Fourth grade was a level above your understanding. The English language must be your second language.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 7:53 pm

      So, according to you, if I were to tell my daughter she shouldn’t run by the pool because her cousin broke his leg running by the pool, I am merely telling a story, and in no way, shape, or form making a comparison between her behavior and her cousin’s?
      Perhaps you need to go back to fourth grade, and listen to the bit where you don’t need words like “such as” or “like” to make a comparison.

    • CD Cross

      July 26, 2014 at 8:27 pm

      No. I didn’t say that; you did. Do you always put words in other people’s mouths? If you had even a shadow of a clue what you were saying, you might make sense, but as it is, you don’t. I will no longer dignify your lack of understanding. Find someone else who likes to engage in “he said, she said.” You do not have a clue what you are talking about.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 9:23 pm

      I’ll leave this here, and tell you that, intentionally or not, you made the comparison. If didn’t intend it, I suggest a composition class.

      “..” I think that is a fair assessment of why anyone might think about what he believes is true, but the fact is, you cannot change your mind even if you did know about Christ, and here is why: even the old Devil knew ABOUT Christ; more than that, he KNEW Christ,.and not only knew him, but could recite every word that Jesus ever spoke that was written in the Scriptures. Yet, he hated Christ. Why? Because he chose not to be LIKE him. No one can possibly understand what Christ is about—or even what you are about—until he does the very things that make him that way. So to say that you would not change because of what you might know about someone is a true statement.”

    • CD Cross

      July 27, 2014 at 7:08 am

      “I’ll leave this here,” was not your intention, belied by the fact that you continued your uneducated accusation, throwing the dagger one last time. Your logic about what I was making a comparison to is absolutely faulty, and the only thing you are really trying to do is keep your game face on, hiding behind what you have gotten yourself into and cannot back out of. I hoped perhaps you were only fooling me. It was worse than I expected.

    • guest

      July 26, 2014 at 6:15 pm

      Darn I’ve read this literally 3 times now and don’t understand it. Not being sarcastic, not being catty, just being truthful. I’ve never felt so stupid, and I am not a stupid person. Are you saying that if she acted like Christ she would understand what the woman in the article was feeling? But you also say “if you did what he did you could keep the beliefs you have now”. So then what would be the difference? If she did as he did she wouldn’t advocate condoms so she wouldn’t be keeping the same beliefs right? So confused. I don’t think I’ve ever been confused at a comment before, other than warren p and Jo, the guy who is pictured with his bike.

    • CD Cross

      July 26, 2014 at 6:44 pm

      Thank you first for being sincere about what bothers you regarding what I said. If I am confusing, I am really very sorry, and it means I did not do a very good job of explaining myself,. so please let me try.

      The writer I responded with a simple statement. She wrote,
      “I think what bothers me most is the assumption that if I only knew about Christ, I would totally change my mind…” My response to her was not intended to be complicated. I was merely drawing a comparison between three ideas: “knowing about” someone, “knowing” someone, and being “like” someone. She believed that if there was the assumption that she “knew about” Christ, she might be willing to change her mind. I suggested that to “know about” anyone would not change her mind; in fact even “knowing” someone would not change her mind. I gave reference to Christ’s enemy, Satan. He also “knew about” Jesus. He even “knew” Jesus. Yet he still hated him. So I proceeded to explain why. Satan hated Jesus because it was not enough to “know about” someone, or even “know” someone. Rather, you must be “like” someone in order to understand who that person truly is. Satan was not “like” Jesus even though he “knew about” him and even “knew” him. I was trying to establish the difference between the three ideas, that is all. I was suggesting that her statement was in fact quite true. Even her assumption that if she “knew about” Jesus, she would not change. So, I agreed with her, but I was sharing my reason for agreeing.
      I hope that helped. If not, we can explore it further if you want. And again, thank you for not being mean-spirited and jumping to conclusions. It goes a long way on the internet when a person cannot hear a person’s intonations or watch his hand signals or his body language. No one can read someone else’s motives or know his heart, and I very much appreciate you simply asking instead of presuming. You have taught us all something very worthwhile and uplifting.

  7. Justme

    July 26, 2014 at 9:43 am

    If I was this young woman and someone had shoved their drooling, squirming one-year-old in my face as some weird sex guilt tripping method, it would only have made me MORE secure in my choice to buy condoms to prevent having one of those things.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 9:44 am

      Right?! I think I would have tried to cauterize my own fallopian tubes right there in the aisle. Nothing better before a night out as a young person than contemplating all the baby-having you should be doing instead of being a WHORE!

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 10:25 am

      Also, I found this today on Buzzfeed…I figured you could relate. 🙂

      http://www.buzzfeed.com/javiermoreno/catholic-born-and-raised

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 10:55 am

      Bwahahahahaha that’s awesome.

    • 2Well

      July 26, 2014 at 12:41 pm

      Whether or not to chew the Eucharist is their definition of a controversial issue.

      Oddly enough, it makes me glad I was raised Free Will Baptist. We argued with different Baptist sects on free will versus predestination and “once saved always saved.”

      At least that was substantial, even if the church rules were no alcohol, no pants in church, no skirts above the knee, no dancing, no fun.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 2:22 pm

      I’m not sure how to feel about this comment. I’m glad you’re pleased with your religious denomination, but try not to shit all over mine in the process?

    • 2Well

      July 26, 2014 at 3:52 pm

      Oh I’m not Free Will Baptist anymore. No way. I just hate hate hate the arguments that Christians have with each other over the most minute things when that time could be better spent doing something.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 4:11 pm

      I’ve never seen Catholics argue over the consumption of Eucharist, but I was told I was going to hell by a whole bunch of Baptists, so there’s that.

    • 2Well

      July 26, 2014 at 5:44 pm

      I was looking at the comments of that article you posted, and apparently it’s a “controversial issue” whatever that means.

      I kept very little from my Baptist upbringing. I’m pretty sure my mother thinks I’m going to hell for the bottle of wine in my fridge.

    • ZeroBars

      July 26, 2014 at 2:43 pm

      I was Catholic until I was about 18 or so, but almost all of that rings hilariously true.

      I’m no longer Catholic myself, but to this day if I swear anywhere near a Mary statue (and let’s face it, they’re everywhere in my parent’s home when I visit, because they’re Catholic and love Mary…probably even more than Jesus…) I still cringe and feel guilty.

    • NotTakenNotAvailable

      July 26, 2014 at 10:50 am

      Yeah, that would make me not only double down on the condom purchases but also whip out my phone and ask loudly what the number for the local Planned Parenthood is so I could put it in my Favorite Contacts list.

    • Smishsmash

      July 26, 2014 at 3:26 pm

      If I were this woman and someone came up to me, told me I was beautiful, that there was a plan for my sexuality, and then started describing how awesome her husband’s bare cock feels, I’d run to the nearest security guard.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      Ok, Smishsmash- make a real screen name and join us. You are our kind of people.

  8. keelhaulrose

    July 26, 2014 at 9:51 am

    “I’m not judging you”= completely and totally judging you.
    Has there ever been an instance where that has not been immediately preceded or followed by judgemental bullshit?

    • Spongeworthy

      July 26, 2014 at 9:56 am

      “I’m not judging you, I’m just thinking about how sad your slutty lifestyle is and how if you only knew better you would live like me because how I live is the right way and how you live is WRONG. But I’m not judging you! I just love you too much!”

    • TngldBlue

      July 26, 2014 at 10:47 am

      Yeah it’s like those people that say “no offense” after saying something completely offensive. You aren’t fooling anyone.

  9. Jennie Blair

    July 26, 2014 at 10:06 am

    Lady needs to mind her own business, she sounds like the kind that will send you to hell either way:
    Condoms: you skank
    Unwed mother: you skank

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 10:09 am

      And besides, if she’s REALLY Catholic then the unwed mother thing wouldn’t matter in the issue of buying condoms because even married sex is supposed to be barrier free and produce children.

    • Jennie Blair

      July 26, 2014 at 10:15 am

      Here’s my big problem, why should anyone other than my husband (or whomever someone invites into) care what is going on in my vagina?

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 10:22 am

      That is the crux of many issues raging on my FB feed RIGHT. NOW.

    • Jennie Blair

      July 26, 2014 at 10:56 am

      I don’t have that problem the extreme opposite, all these people want to tell all of their “friends” (I think I’m the only person I know that has less than 125 “friends”, some have as many as 3000?) the details of their vagina. Sorry but no one wants to think about how wide your cervix is, how you are recovering from birth, that breastfeeding kept you from ovulating for a year. Please stop sharing this shit.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 10:59 am

      Well, yes…there’s that on a small level. But then there’s also the greater issues that surround the Hobby Lobby decision and abortion in general.

  10. Ursi

    July 26, 2014 at 10:16 am

    I hate when people make blog posts like these because not only are they shaming and ridiculous, but this is clearly interior thoughtwank and needs to stay interior.

    I’m not a fan of sex pre-commitment. Whether that’s marriage, engagement, longterm partnership, etc. I don’t support one night stands. I believe in sexual fidelity. I’m a Christian. These are my beliefs and they belong to me. They don’t belong to the girl you see buying condoms. I wouldn’t think twice about a girl buying condoms, look for a wedding ring, balk at her age, any of that. If anything I’d be thrilled to know someone is taking care to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. But I probably wouldn’t even notice. Because I don’t go around looking for people who aren’t living my life to live my life.

    Even if this woman thinks that a girl buying condoms is hurting herself, why would she post this? What does she think is going to happen? All that self-congratulatory “compassion” that sits nice and tight in her head so she can smugly judge other people for not living out her faith and then post on the internet about how much it’s apparently tearing her up inside… that isn’t Christ-like. That’s sad.

    If she cared about this young girl she would look for a way to brighten her day. She would pray for her. She would keep her mouth shut and offer her a smile. None of that is condoning anything and all of it is being a decent human being.

    Christians need to stop beating themselves up over other peoples choices. God gave every human being a choice. Why can’t WE give them a choice?

    • Elyne

      July 26, 2014 at 10:23 am

      The behaviour of that women( and others) is exactly what’s putting me off Christianity. I’m raised as Catholic myself and the entire bashing on others because they do something wrong ( in extremist’s Christian’s) eyes is incredibly annoying. I still believe a couple of things like the 10 commands but the rest? No thanks. I will never understand these kind of extremists who feel the need to belittle other people ( religions).

  11. Mlynn

    July 26, 2014 at 10:17 am

    Please duct tape my head back together. And I’m a Catholic. And my 4 kids go to Catholic school. And I’m pro-life. But here is what I am NOT- A judgmental IDIOT. Hey preacher lady, maybe this young lady doesn’t, uh, want to get AIDS. Or maybe she likes her partner to wear a condom while she does oral sex. Or maybe she likes to make condom water balloons. Or just maybe, she is smart enough to protect herself from having a child at age 20. Because that would be crazy, right? Crazy responsible. And if I would have been un-barrier happy, and let myself conceive child after child, I would be DEAD from c-sections complications. Oh, and one last thing. Before marriage, at the natural family planing class we had to take, when the speakers walked in with their 9 kids- yea, that was a clue. Buy condoms.

    • Ursi

      July 26, 2014 at 10:20 am

      seriously dying at that last line.

      This is what I think whenever I see family photos in my massive Irish Catholic family. They’re better ads for birth control than anything you see on TV.

    • LK

      July 26, 2014 at 10:50 am

      OMG, Catholic marriage prep. And oh sweet JESUS in heaven the natural family planning class. Kill us all now. And we get there and a girl my husband went to high school is there….and we are sitting there all together…listening to people tell us about the appropriate tackiness of our cervical mucus. Just. Oh God, I need to lie down a minute.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 11:13 am

      The Catholic marriage prep combined with the family planning class is precisely the reason my husband (not Catholic) and I (cradle Catholic) did not get married in a Catholic church.

    • LK

      July 26, 2014 at 3:00 pm

      Just not having a Mass and getting married NOT at my in-laws home church was enough to set my in-laws on fire about how wrong we were handling things. You’d think 10 years later when we baptized our kid in a NOT Catholic church they would have learned to just let go and keep their mouths shut. Yeah. You’d be SUPER wrong. To their credit though, they did hold themselves together when our minister showed up to the lunch afterwards…with his boyfriend.

    • LiLi

      July 26, 2014 at 1:20 pm

      My pre-cana was actually kind of fun. Most of it was run by a really cool older couple who were also legit therapists.

      The priest only showed up for 2 session and one of those was to talk about “family planning” Catholic style and why the Church is for “birth control” (ie rhythm method) but not “contraception” in that a married couple should be opened to new life and god’s blessings and yadda yadda stuff that sounds real pretty in theory when you’re male and celibate. To his credit he acknowledged that having discussions about sex with a priest around was awkward (and being a pretty cool guy for a priest he implied that he was well aware that every couple in the room was likely not a duo of virgins) he left the room for us to discuss the whole family planning thing among ourselves. There were 10 couples in this class. Ten Catholic couples planning on getting married in the Church. We all looked at each other without saying a word for about 60 second. Finally one of the ladies said “look, I don’t know about you all, but I’m not planning on having 8 kids, and I think the whole thing is silly.” Everyone in the room laughed and agreed, and we talked wedding plans an caterers until the priest came back in.

    • LK

      July 26, 2014 at 3:04 pm

      Ours was in several venues, not all together (and you had to check all the crap off the box). Part of the prep was with a deacon and his wife (and they were great) and the priest we had, I have no complaints about (especially his making it clear that promising to ‘try’ and raise your kids Catholic is not the same as promising to raise them Catholic and that for us to have a mass at our wedding while I’m not Catholic sounded like the dumbest idea ever to him). But the family planning class and the “marriage retreat” overnight where I had to be for two days and sleep in a room with a total stranger (cause you know gotta pair up the ladies and pair up the boys, so no hanky panky!!) whilst OUR house was literally 1 minute away, while a revolving door of practically perfect in ever way Catholic couples came in and out lecturing us about all the Catholic things. Yeah, there’s no getting over that.

    • K.

      July 26, 2014 at 1:50 pm

      I genuinely don’t mean this to distract from your awesome comment, but…

      …Am I the only one who applied the whole Vonage commercial tone to “Because that would be crazy, right? Crazy RESPONSIBLE!!”

      🙂

    • Tisa Berry

      July 26, 2014 at 3:31 pm

      “Condom water balloons” *dead*

  12. irarelypostonanything

    July 26, 2014 at 10:19 am

    It’s kind of funny (in the sad not funny way) that a few unplanned ‘blessings’ from now, she will undoubtedly be the intended recipient of “an open letter to the woman with too many kids”. Too bad she won’t recognise the irony.

  13. The Actual Devil

    July 26, 2014 at 10:23 am

    “My question to you, my dear, is this: isn’t that something you want for yourself?”

    First, fuck off with the “my dear”. Mother of God, that sounds so condescending.

    Secondly, why will this prevent her from having condom-less sex with a loving husband in the future? Does she think condoms become permanently fixed to the vaginal walls? Does she think good men don’t marry non-virgins? Has she considered that, for many people, a good man is one who doesn’t care about a woman’s sexual past?

    • meteor_Whoricorn_echo

      July 26, 2014 at 11:40 am

      I think I just miiiiiight convert to Satanism from atheism because you’re kinda awesome.
      Also, I just sacrificed a marshmallow to you – not as good as a freshly-slain goat, but still nice 😛

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 12:28 pm

      I like the idea marshmallow sacrifice, especially when paired with chocolate sacrifice and graham cracker sacrifice by a fire.

    • Benwhoski

      July 26, 2014 at 8:13 pm

      Is a hot cocoa with marshmallow sacrifice acceptable? I don’t have any graham crackers on hand.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 9:17 pm

      BLASPHEMY!!!
      How dare you speak of your heathen marshmallow sacrifices in public?
      The right to sacrifice marshmallows applies only to those doing the way I do it!

    • Benwhoski

      July 26, 2014 at 9:47 pm

      That’s it! I’m breaking off and starting my own sect that WELCOMES alternative, modern views on marshmallow sacrifice!

      I will call it the Sacred Order of the Mallow Cup.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 10:58 pm

      You go ahead and do that, and I’ll make sure I have a group together to picket your sinful, heathen ways each time you get together.
      God hates hot cocoa!

    • LiLi

      July 26, 2014 at 1:10 pm

      Don’t you know that birth control of any sort is addictive? Once she tries that condom she will just keep coming back for more an more of that latex goodness.

      And yes, what sot of “good” man marries a non-virgin aka a used piece of chewing gum*

      Note that this is a real analogy used in religious sex ed classes and I almost threw up in my mouth a little when I typed it.

    • Benwhoski

      July 26, 2014 at 8:12 pm

      In addition to the common “used chewing gum” analogy, in my church youth group in high school, it was illustrated by sticking a strip of masking tape to several people and peeling it off until it would no longer stick.

      Being unmarried, sexually active, and polyamorous, I guess it’s only a matter of time before I yearn for my lost adhesive properties.

    • Spitting_mad

      July 26, 2014 at 8:17 pm

      Don’t you wish you could disguise yourself as a kid and drop in on these classes. “Escuse me, ma’am, but if you stick that tape to yourself over and over and over again, won’t it have the same effect? Would you chew gum you yourself spit out an hour ago? Isn’t that what you are to your husband?”
      Boom, bitch.

    • Benwhoski

      July 26, 2014 at 8:24 pm

      I’m guessing the response to that would be something along the lines of “But if you wait until marriage, then you never actually take the tape off of that person/they never spit the gum out; it’s on there/in there forever”.

      Which honestly sounds even worse.

    • Spitting_mad

      July 27, 2014 at 9:25 am

      Unless the lady walks in actively having sex with her husband, or has his nards attached to her like an angler fish, I call bs.

    • Jem

      July 26, 2014 at 3:21 pm

      My husband is a “good christian man” who gave zero fucks that I was a non virgin. He actually *gasp* pursued me as a person! They do exist.

  14. breakfastburrito

    July 26, 2014 at 10:35 am

    Condoms or Abortion? Choose what you want happening from complete strangers, you judgmental zealot.

  15. The Actual Devil

    July 26, 2014 at 10:37 am

    I was raised Catholic (I’m Irish & Italian, lol). I went to Catholic school for 5 years. Most Catholics are good enough people, but we certainly have our share of crazies.

    I know a girl who got pregnant and lost her scholarship. Her mother was PROUD that her daughter didn’t use a condom. My mom would be upset with me for having sex (she’s a fan of the “why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free” theory), but she’d be downright pissed if I didn’t use some kind of birth control.

    • The Actual Devil

      July 26, 2014 at 11:39 am

      I definitely do not agree about the cow thing, though. I have to take deep breaths whenever she mentions it. Trying to argue with her is not fun.

  16. LK

    July 26, 2014 at 10:37 am

    “I’m not here to judge you” except the complete opposite of that. Yeah that.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 10:55 am

      Exactly. I always wonder if these people serially think their targets are going to see their blog post and see the light? Because I’m pretty sure twenty something girls who are drinking and planning on having unwed sex are not the target audience of a Catholic mommy blogger. These writers are only writing these pieces to judge others and feel superior.

    • LK

      July 26, 2014 at 10:58 am

      Yes. Yes. Yes. I’m going to write this, because I know all the other turbo-Christians that read it will nod in agreement and we can all hold cyberhands and congratulate ourselves on being morally superior. Listen lady, we all love to get validated, but don’t fucking dress it up as some kind of altruistic gesture of love. God I know so many people like this and it just gets me so fucking hot and bothered. We shake our heads in disapproval of women who speak their minds honestly, but we judge and condescend and talk shit in the name of Jesus, which is TOTALLY cool.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 12:26 pm

      I spit my diet coke at “turbo Christian”. That is a gem.

    • 2Well

      July 26, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      It’s kind of like the sermons in my mother’s church. They either preach on Jesus dying for your sins, trying to reach the lost (even though everyone in the pews is probably a Christian already) or they preach on sins they have no connection to, like homosexuality and abortion and other things. It’s a way for them to feel morally superior and disconnected from the world of wickedness, rather than having to do any actual introspection. They have no problem railing against those sins because they have no reason to feel guilty, theoretically. They don’t mention the Bible’s admonition against gossip, because that could be toe stepping.

      They got a new pastor and he preached on the dangers of legalism and taking biblical literalness too far. He wasn’t well liked. He also did crazy things like introduce circa 1990s praise and worship songs into the service, use an NIV Bible, and buy projectors to put song lyrics and Bible verses on during the service. It made everyone feel uncomfortable and now he’s gone.

    • LK

      July 26, 2014 at 2:54 pm

      Blaspheme! I think your point on railing about sins that everyone can at least pretend they are totally innocent of is spot on. It’s the same way they love to cherry pick rules from the Old Testament like gay and tattoos ALL kinds of bad, because SEE BIBLE!!! Mixing fabrics and shellfish, Meh, I certainly do not know what passages you are referring to.

    • 2Well

      July 26, 2014 at 3:57 pm

      Any time my mom starts railing about homophobia I bring up nearby verses that indicate something she might be doing wrong, like in the New Testament where Paul tells women don’t braid their hair or wear gold.

    • 2Well

      July 26, 2014 at 2:20 pm

      And by sins I mean what they consider sins, theoretically.

  17. TngldBlue

    July 26, 2014 at 10:44 am

    Someone in this scenario is seeking validation from others and it ain’t the woman buying condoms in the drugstore.

  18. NotTakenNotAvailable

    July 26, 2014 at 10:45 am

    How is shoving a baby in someone’s face a good way to send the anti-condom message? Other people’s babies are my birth control!

    • Benwhoski

      July 26, 2014 at 8:55 pm

      Judgy Catholic Lady: SEE MY PRECIOUS BABY THAT CAME FROM UNPROTECTED CATHOLIC SEX?
      Me: Yes. Yes, I do. *grabs a comically exaggerated armful of condom boxes from the shelf and runs to the checkout line*

  19. LK

    July 26, 2014 at 10:56 am

    Somebody’s a little jealous that she traded girls’ night for buying diapers with my baby night!

  20. KaeTay

    July 26, 2014 at 11:09 am

    So she and her husband only have sex if they want a baby? Because if she enjoys sex then by her standards she is doing it wrong. Wtf is wrong with people like this woman.

  21. Joye77

    July 26, 2014 at 11:14 am

    I rolled my eyes so many times I may have given myself a headache. After so many years of our mothers and grandmothers fighting for birth control to free them from a life of constant pregnancy there seems to be a new uprising of traditional, old school, religious women that believe that birth control is only for slutty sluts to go slutting around. It’s a sad thing to happen.

  22. Alanna Jorgensen

    July 26, 2014 at 11:17 am

    The thought of conceiving child after child makes me want to run screaming into the night.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 11:18 am

      And the idea that her husband passionately desires her fertility…

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      “Honey, you have a nice ass and all but by golly, it’s your plump ovaries that really get my boner rising!”

    • guest

      July 26, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      When I read that it neatly tied together the post about “why I don’t use bc”. That was one of the reasons, something about fertility, and I couldn’t figure out wtf she meant. Now at least I’m a little less confused on that whole thing. Still think it’s weird, but at least I know where they’re coming from now.

  23. momjones

    July 26, 2014 at 11:29 am

    I think she made up the entire scenario to give her credibility as a Catholic mom blogger. Trust me, I know LOTS of Catholic women, and the majority of them would roll their eyes at this sanctimonious bull shit.

    • OptimusPrime*

      July 26, 2014 at 11:32 am

      Having gone to a Jesuit university, I would be shocked if one of my Catholic friends posted this drivel. Being Catholic doesn’t equal being stupid or self-righteous.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 12:28 pm

      OMG I love your username so much.

    • OptimusPrime*

      July 26, 2014 at 4:34 pm

      Thanks!

    • The Devil Likes Catholics

      July 26, 2014 at 11:33 am

      I agree.

    • guest

      July 26, 2014 at 11:47 am

      So “lots” means the majority?

    • momjones

      July 26, 2014 at 11:53 am

      Well, I taught in an all girls Catholic high school for 34 years. So, thousands…does that answer your question?

    • JenH1986

      July 26, 2014 at 1:01 pm

      Since apparently pwning is still a thing. You just pwned him/her.

    • CMJ

      July 26, 2014 at 1:03 pm

      I got a flounce because I used the term mansplaining!

    • JenH1986

      July 26, 2014 at 5:47 pm

      Bahahahaha

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 3:55 pm

      I heart you so hard, mom jones.

    • momjones

      July 26, 2014 at 5:21 pm

      🙂

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      YES. Most of the Catholic women I know are quite reasonable and don’t have any shits to give about other people’s sex lives. That is why I mentioned I am not Catholic bashing- I am Asshole Bashing. 😉

    • Spiderpigmom

      July 28, 2014 at 10:40 am

      Yeah… I don’t know about American Catholics, but I know plenty of European Catholics and they’re generally pretty reasonable, down-to-earth people. I’m a former Catholic myself, and I’ve never met the like of this fruitcake.

  24. Dean Aaron Roberts

    July 26, 2014 at 11:58 am

    Hmmm… the thing is that if she really is sticking by Catholic doctrine then she’s right – no sex outside of marriage, and no contraception. She’s being a Catholic as the canons of the Catholic church state. Just because someone else states that they’re Catholic, it doesn’t mean that all the doctrines and teachings of the Catholic church are now validated by a person saying they identify themselves as a Catholic, if that makes sense.

    It is your judgement that her motive was to judge. It’s very hard to decipher motive in written text without seeing body language, hearing tone of voice etc. There probably was a good intention behind this, despite the fact that she was clearly lacking the reality that life is messy.

    • Aimee

      July 26, 2014 at 12:05 pm

      I’m trying to remember where in the Bible or in extra-textual Catholic doctrine the rules about blogging about someone else’s personal choices are documented. Is that before or after the parts about Jesus’s thoughts on praying noisily in public for everyone to see you?

    • Dean Aaron Roberts

      July 26, 2014 at 12:09 pm

      All I’m saying is that she made an observation on something – whether it’s a judgement or not is based on our own personal judgement about that. In reality, we all comment on people and situations don’t we, and that’s not wrong. Of course, the other spanner in the works is that the Bible does call on people to make judgements, but not judgements to condemnation. Big difference in the two. I’m just enquiring – not imposing anything! 🙂

    • Aimee

      July 26, 2014 at 12:15 pm

      I don’t see how it’s a mere “observation” that she thinks this woman is having “ugly, awkward” sex or that she has low self-esteem (“you are beautiful”, “discover your true worth”).

      The Bible calls on people to make judgments on others behind their backs, without actually speaking to them in person? Huh. I remember it differently, I guess.

    • Dean Aaron Roberts

      July 26, 2014 at 12:22 pm

      Well as I keep suggesting, it’s about the bigger picture. Let’s be careful to resist the temptation to start judging this woman for her blog post… else we are no better.

    • Valerie

      July 26, 2014 at 12:29 pm

      Umm….her entire blog post is about judging OTHER people. If this woman wrote a blog post about how incredibly happy she is in her marriage and sex life and the reasons why, without condemning others, I would not have batted an eye. Her sanctimonious diatribe deserves to be ridiculed because it’s insulting and ill-informed.

    • CMJ

      July 26, 2014 at 1:13 pm

      Apparently we can’t criticize this woman. We just aren’t allowed.

    • Aimee

      July 26, 2014 at 3:29 pm

      What’s the bigger picture? Where does telling your readership about how you judged what you obviously find to be a slutty girl at the drugstore, without reaching out to touch that actual girl’s life at all, fit into God’s grand ol’ plan? What does it accomplish besides bragging to people who already think the same things as you about how holy you are – and tell the people who don’t agree with you on the issue of protected sex what dirty, self-hating losers you think they are?

      I don’t judge people for extramarital sex or condom-buying. I do judge self-aggrandizing moral hypocrisy.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 12:35 pm

      She’s assuming so much in the piece, from the girls drinking habits to her sex life, then caps it off with a statement that bills down to this girl cannot possibly feel beautiful or good about herself because she’s perceived as having sex outside marriage.
      How is that NOT judging?

    • Dean Aaron Roberts

      July 26, 2014 at 12:44 pm

      Agh! I’m not saying she is or isn’t judging. All I’m saying is that we all make mistakes and wrong judgements of people. None of us are perfect. If you’re going to make a return judgement on her and “ridicule” and get on a band wagon of absolutely slating her, then don’t behind the justification of “I’m a Catholic too, and I don’t want to bash Catholicism BUT…”

      Do it simply from the point of view that you are a human who naturally falls short of God’s best (if we ARE going to go down the faith road) and is looking at the speck in this woman’s eye and failing to see the plank in your own, yet realising this woman may well have looked at a speck in the girl-who-bought-the-condoms eye, and similarly not seen the plank in her own eye.

      Two wrongs never make a right – it just creates an aggressive circle.

    • CMJ

      July 26, 2014 at 12:54 pm

      She doesn’t know this woman and writes an entire shaming blog post about her….if that’s not judging, I don’t know what is…..

      I’m allowed to criticize a woman who talks about the “teachings of Catholicism” while blatantly ignoring those very teachings.

      But thanks for Jesusmansplaining that to all of us.

    • Dean Aaron Roberts

      July 26, 2014 at 1:01 pm

      You’re allowed? Right, OK. So now we’re going into the realm of double standards. Well I don’t really want to be a part of that. I commented initially to have a civil dialogue, but what I’ve got in return is a passive aggressive attack for not completely agreeing with the article. Oh, and a thrown in insult to top it off; I wasn’t “mansplaining” anything – simply highlighting some things that this whole supposed “debate” is hinging on. Or is it only those who are allowed to criticise who can do that? I’m outta here.

    • K.

      July 26, 2014 at 2:28 pm

      I seriously don’t understand these people who come into the fray and say, “Hey, we all make mistakes and wrong judgments of people” and “Two wrongs never make a right–it just creates an aggressive circle.”

      ….what’s the point? To proclaim righteousness over us all?

      The good Dean appears to have missed the point of the discussion. We’re not trying to be better Catholics. We’re not trying to elevate our spirituality. We are simply offended. As Catholics, as women, as men too, as sexually-active people, as young people, as members of the general society, as parents…on and on. This is a discussion about the offense and why it matters on the sociocultural level.

      It’s so offensive for someone to come onto the feed and accuse us of lacking the wherewithal to recognize we’re contributing to argument. We get it. We know we’re not being nice. Stop telling us we need to be ‘nice’ and definitely STFU if your purpose is to tell us we need to be ‘nice’ in lieu of **thinking and having a discussion**.

      Jesusmainsplaining indeed.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 2:51 pm

      I’m Catholic and I’m not bashing Catholicism, I’m bashing this woman’s blog post that drips with condescension, judgment, and pity without knowing all the details about a person’s life.

    • Benwhoski

      July 26, 2014 at 8:41 pm

      I’d argue there’s a difference between observation and speculation. It wasn’t that she simply saw a young woman buying condoms and said “Here’s why that makes me sad, based on my faith”. She proceeded to make a lot of large assumptions about a complete stranger, mostly regarding that person’s motives, what her relationships were like, and her feelings of self-worth.

    • Justme

      July 26, 2014 at 2:30 pm

      In my 30 years of being Catholic, 18 of which were spent living with a Catholic youth minister as a mother, I never, EVER heard the lesson on how being an uber Catholic allows you the right to make judgment calls on the lives of others. Instead I was taught grace, compassion, and tolerance for the views of others. Like my mother said, you change more lives through your actions than through your words.

  25. justlikemagic

    July 26, 2014 at 12:57 pm

    I actually had some cunt say something similar to me one time at a CVS. I told her to fuck off, she was obviously jealous because she did not test drive the car before she bought it and was stuck with lackluster sex with her husband, while I got to have sinful, amazing sex with my boyfriend. It was glorious.

  26. Ugh

    July 26, 2014 at 1:22 pm

    I am going to say this because I can’t find any other comments about this… But it will probably get buried.

    I’m an adult. I own my house. I am married. And I look 16-18, even though I am 30. I get ID’ed in bars, I get ID’ed buy lottery tickets, I get ID’ed buying tickets for R rated movies, I get asked about my age all the time.

    My best friend looks about 20 at the oldest, we are the same age. And I often forget to wear my wedding ring because I am usually painting or doing something artsy and getting paint out of a wedding ring is a bitch.

    This easily could have been me and my best friend. I was buying condoms recently. And we were joking around in the aisle. It could have been me. If I was me, I wished that she had said something because I would have laid the smack down on her.

    And even if it was some teenager, serriously lady, you’d rather this girl have a baby at what? 16? Shut up.

    • K.

      July 26, 2014 at 1:26 pm

      YES! I often do a lot of stuff with my hands and also use condoms as a form of BC (hormones don’t work so well with me), so someone could very well have seen me as a married woman, sans wedding ring, buying condoms.

      And for fuck’s sake, I was also once a sixteen-year-old on BC and STILL buying condoms–which I did because I respected myself enough to know I deserved to be in control of my own sexuality and to explore it safely.

  27. K.

    July 26, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    This reminds me of that guy (gal?) who wrote “to the fatty on the running track” and her awesome response (you can read them both here: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/03/surprisingly-inspiring-to-the-fatty-running-on-the-westview-track/)

    This is so unbelievably self-righteous.

  28. Sara610

    July 26, 2014 at 1:37 pm

    I’ll admit it, I judge girls (boys, too) when I see them buying condoms. I totally, totally judge them. I am a Judgey McJudgerpants.

    I judge them to be making an awesome, responsible choice that is likely to significantly cut down on their likelihood of having an unplanned pregnancy or getting an STD. I judge them to be mature, thoughtful and–if they’re responsible and mature enough to walk into a store and buy condoms, knowing that they will likely face ridicule from clueless people like the author–probably ready for a sexual relationship, if that is in fact even what they were planning on doing with said condoms.

    Total judgment coming from me here–judgment that that girl kicks ass and the blogger should be ashamed of herself.

  29. effingplates

    July 26, 2014 at 1:46 pm

    This is one of the grossest things I’ve ever read. How fucking dare she make all these as assumption then act like she is so pious and pained by this cruel world when really all she is doing is judging this poor woman for what? Not being continually pregnant? Sounds to me like this lady may be compensating for some doubts about her own choices.

    I’ll be honest though, I couldn’t even get through the whole thing because I could literally feel my breakfast in my throat.

  30. Sheyetterly

    July 26, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    bit.ly/Uc26xT
    ….

  31. Sheyetterly

    July 26, 2014 at 1:52 pm

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    my classmate’s step-aunt makes $68 /hour on the internet . She has been fired from work for 7 months but last month her pay was $19200 just working on the internet for a few hours.
    look at this web-site……………..bit.ly/Uc26xT

  32. MynameisNaeMe

    July 26, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    My husband have been unable to have a baby for a decade now. I guess that means we should commit to celibacy and not have sex because we aren’t producing the outcome of what our sex is meant for? Ugh.

    • Sara610

      July 26, 2014 at 3:12 pm

      Bingo! Unless, of course, you’re actually having sex for pleasure and intimacy, but I know that can’t be true because only whores of Satan do that. And if you were one of those, you wouldn’t be on Mommyish right now–you’d be slutting it up with your fellow whores and prowling the streets looking for pretty young (Catholic) virgins to lure away from their life of goodness, purity and future-baby-making to join your legions of devil-whores. And volunteering at Planned Parenthood–which, let’s be honest, is pretty much the same thing.

    • JessBakesCakes

      July 26, 2014 at 3:16 pm

      “Technically” according to Catholicism, you aren’t sinning (at least what I was taught) because if you’re having sex within the “sanctity” of marriage, and are “open to the gift of children”, by not using protection, you’re still able to get pregnant if some miracle occurred and you MAGICALLY BECAME PREGNANT. (I asked a high school theology teacher this. As a nun, she had lots to say.)

      BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE STILL A HORRIBLE SINNER BECAUSE IDK YOU JUST ARE DUH. /sarcasm

    • Rowan

      July 27, 2014 at 2:44 am

      And if you truly believe in Gurrrrrd then he’ll gift you with a baby all wrapped up with a bow and bluebirds singing and stuff.

  33. JessBakesCakes

    July 26, 2014 at 3:14 pm

    As a Catholic, I can say that most Catholics I know are not like this. I know some very deeply religious Catholics who still would never be like this. It’s just… the attitude I was surrounded with from high school on was like this. It’s been like this since I moved to the South from other Christians. I will gladly tell someone I’m Catholic, but that’s personal for me. I also know Jesus was a pretty cool guy who hung out with “sinners” and outcasts, and he was still like “You know, God still loves you, bro.” So… yeah. Nope. Not havin’ it.

  34. BREEDER

    July 26, 2014 at 3:28 pm

    No big deal, some girls are loose and they don’t want kids, maybe they didn’t even know who their victim was gonna be either, that could explain buying them at night while tipsy.
    I don’t see anything wrong or suspicious here, your either ok with it or not.

    • Coffee&Cats

      July 26, 2014 at 5:11 pm

      Congrats, you’re part of the problem. Just because a woman enjoys sex and doesn’t want a kid from it doesn’t make her “loose”.

    • BREEDER

      July 26, 2014 at 5:43 pm

      Darling, your putting words in my mouth try reading the article then my comment.
      I think the real problem is people like you are unsure and need others to help sooth your conscience.

    • Coffee&Cats

      July 26, 2014 at 5:57 pm

      I did read your comment, sweetie. You called women who have casual sex and don’t want kids from it loose. Here is exactly what you wrote, honey, “No big deal, some girls are loose and they don’t want kids…”. Own up to what you said and don’t call me stupid for calling out your backwards, misogynistic bullshit.

    • BREEDER

      July 26, 2014 at 6:12 pm

      Hey ms selective reader, read it ,i also said tipsy and that they may not even know their victim,,i call that loose and i have run into a few of those girls

    • Coffee&Cats

      July 26, 2014 at 6:22 pm

      I did read it and I read it correctly. You’re the one who’s barely literate. Wow, so the men these women have sex with are “victims”? WTAF?! I’d love to hear you explain that.

    • K.

      July 26, 2014 at 8:34 pm

      “i call that loose and i have run into a few of those girls”

      I find the ones who have the biggest problems with women’s sexual liberation are those who sadly have never managed to benefit from it.

    • Coffee&Cats

      July 26, 2014 at 9:32 pm

      I agree! Just because they’re sexually repressed doesn’t mean they can call everyone else who isn’t “loose”.

    • BREEDER

      July 27, 2014 at 2:38 am

      Your just the medicine i need for my repression.

    • Coffee&Cats

      July 27, 2014 at 4:08 pm

      Bless your heart! You meant to say you’re, not “your”. You become more incoherent with every post.

    • keelhaulrose

      July 26, 2014 at 6:09 pm

      Obvious troll is obvious.

    • shorty_RN

      July 27, 2014 at 2:19 pm

      Lol.

  35. AnnH

    July 26, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    I have a theory that goes : the more someone thinks about someone else’s private matters, the more they should reflect on their own sh*t.
    Lady, if you need not only to spend your whole time at the shop imagining what this “girl”‘s life is like and what it should be like and how she should have sex, and then you come home and still feel the need to write it down on a blog where said “girl” probably won’t ever see it, chances are, you should be into introspection a bit more.

    • Kel

      July 26, 2014 at 8:30 pm

      Seriously. “Wow, you’re buying condoms. You must be a slut with low self-esteem who has never experienced love or self-fulfillment, and perhaps you never will.”

      =

      “I am threatened by the idea someone could be living a happy life outside of my repressive value structure, so I must belittle them to convince myself that my repressive value structure is not repressive and that I’m happy with it. I’m really happy with it. I swear.”

    • Sara610

      July 27, 2014 at 6:59 am

      SO MUCH THIS. We see this kind of thing all the time, and I really think this is what it comes down to most of the time. Well said!

  36. Jezebeelzebub

    July 26, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    fuckin’ people, y’all. get the entire fuck outta here with that bullshit. the good news is that the possibly-tipsy condom-consumer will probably never see that P.O.S. blog because she’s too busy doing fun shit and getting laid to read some twit’s self-righteous drivel.

  37. Abby

    July 26, 2014 at 4:20 pm

    Something I once sort of understood, when I was 15, but have now ceased to understand.

    If you don’t like contraceptives, don’t use them. If you don’t like extramarital sex, don’t have it. If you don’t think sex is for anything but babies, don’t have sex for anything but babies. That’s your choice, and more power to you for making it.

    But it’s your choice and your choice alone. Why in the world would you even think that you have a right to tell other people what they should be doing? You don’t come off as concerned; you come off as sanctimonious.

    The words “there but for the grace of God go I” are very telling; they say to me that you’re not thinking about how this other person might be negatively impacted by their choices or even positively impacted by their choices, but rather about how they’re a horrible, scummy sinner, and thank God YOU didn’t go down that path. Imagine if YOU were a tipsy young woman buying condoms! Lord have mercy, you might actually ENJOY sex and be able to NOT GET PREGNANT WHEN YOU DON’T WANT TO and also AVOID STIs!

    tl;dr – I have no problem with believing these things for yourself, but keep your sanctimonious judgment of others out of it.

  38. Leslie Streeter

    July 26, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    What’s so messed up is that she is truly sincere. She is so indoctrinated in this that she cannot see anything outside of her own beliefs, which makes her both sweet and sad. She truly can’t see she’s contemplating harassing a stranger exercising her legal right to buy condoms and not have children she doesn’t want. I feel sorry for her.

  39. Coffee&Cats

    July 26, 2014 at 5:07 pm

    Fuck that lady and the horse she rode in on! I’m sorry, but sex is not just meant for making teh babbies. If she approached me I’d ask her which option she would prefer, birth control or abortion? Because me and my boyfriend DO NOT want kids right now, but we deserve to have sex too dammit! This woman has a seriously narrow world view. Not everyone wants to become a breeder and pop out sprog after sprog.

  40. Spitting_mad

    July 26, 2014 at 5:24 pm

    OMG, the things I would scream at this woman. Don’t I want to have baby after baby after baby? NO. You would throw yourself in front of a bus for my sins? GO FOR IT.

    • BakerMom

      July 26, 2014 at 10:45 pm

      I think that was my favorite part, she will throw herself in front of a bus for the poor slutty girl’s sins, but can only passive agressively judge and deride her

    • Spitting_mad

      July 27, 2014 at 9:38 am

      Hand her a condom and say “Here, be safe. You don’t know where that bus has been”.

  41. Elyne

    July 26, 2014 at 6:23 pm

    Not going to lie, some of these comments are interesting. It’s like watching a train wreck i just can’t stop reading.

  42. Benwhoski

    July 26, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    What I find most infuriating about this is not even the “what you’re doing is not God’s plan” judgement of it. What bothers me is the huge assumptions she is making about a person she admits right from the start she does not know, and that person’s motivations.

    She implies that a young, unmarried woman having sex must mean she has low self esteem. She asserts that what she has is what every woman truly does or should want. She even asserts that “whether there is anything more you are meant for” and being sexually active are somehow mutually exclusive.

    And yeah. Gods have mercy on anyone who interrupts me while I’m minding my own business in a store trying to make a legal purchase and tries to get me to interact with their baby to make their point.

  43. SarahJesness

    July 27, 2014 at 12:05 am

    I went to a Catholic school, then took several years of Catholic classes, and lived in Catholic-majority communities, and I’m not sure if I’ve ever met a Catholic who was REALLY against birth control.

  44. Rowan

    July 27, 2014 at 2:46 am

    I love the whole “you’re beautiful and that makes me so sad”. Y’know, cos ugly people are totally allowed to buy condoms.

  45. thisshortenough

    July 27, 2014 at 7:45 am

    This woman obviously has no idea what it’s like to have lived in an actual catholic country. I live in Ireland. Women here travelled to Northern Ireland just so that they could buy condoms and distribute them. It was illegal and they did it anyway. Because even in a country as heavily religious as Ireland was people were still having sex, they still wanted to have sex and these women knew that. They would have laughed their asses off at this woman trying to get these girls to stop using condoms so they can wait to spit out babies.

  46. breakfastburrito

    July 27, 2014 at 8:50 am

    I did a dramatic reading of that letter for my boyfriend. His only comment was, “She really should have thrown herself in front of that bus.”

    Then we had sex with a condom.

  47. Allthingsblue

    July 27, 2014 at 9:55 am

    You should read the second, third and fourth comments made (only six total) to the original post on Catholicmom.

    • Coffee&Cats

      July 27, 2014 at 3:51 pm

      I went and read those. Excuse me while I go vomit now!

  48. shorty_RN

    July 27, 2014 at 2:18 pm

    Yea, conceiving child after child sounds pretty sexy…

  49. Esilva

    July 27, 2014 at 5:23 pm

    So many shades of NO. At one point she mentions wanting to tell the girl how amazing no-condom sex is-that’s not going to encourage her to wait for marriage. If anything it might make her not use condoms and have an unwanted pregnancy. If anyone ever said this to any young girl in my presence and the girl was too shocked/flustered/embarrassed to defend herself I’d personally tell that lady where to shove it, praise the young lady for being responsible and buy her the mega pack of condoms myself!

  50. Wholockkie Head

    July 27, 2014 at 6:23 pm

    I’m disgusted that she says that this girl is meant for more…and then tells her that “more” means being a baby factory. WUT?

    I’ve only had one sexual partner and I waited until marriage, but that doesn’t make me gag any less over this piece ‘o shite article. We all have the right to choose our actions, not some random BSC lady behind us in the drugstore.

    And, as someone going through IVF (ie: can’t get pregnant “naturally”) the idea of “sex for reproduction only” pissed me off. So, Catholic Mom, you’ve only had sex equal to the number of spawn you’ve produced?

  51. Aimai

    July 28, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    I don’t agree that this woman is probably unhappy with her choice. She is certainly a selfish, egotistical, deluded and quite the busybody but she is probably sincerely happy with her life and more or less sincerely wishes to share her “one weird trick for perfect happiness.” Of course she doesn’t have any insight into anyone else’s life or life choices precisely because her own experience is so limited as to be meaningless.

    Surely only someone who has had both kinds of sex–procreative and non procreative–can be entitled to even a personal opinion on the subject and then she should recognize that it remains totally subjective.

    I kind of wish she had confronted that young woman and received a bop in the nose for her pains.

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