Breaking: Jessica Simpson Steps Out Of The House Looking Like Every Other Pregnant Woman Ever
We need to interrupt your regularly scheduled content for an important breaking news item. Jessica Simpson left her house in a t-shirt, sweat pants, and without mountains of make-up. That’s right, Jessica Simpson, past pop star and current fashion mogul, went outside looking like every other pregnant woman who has ever existed.
Now that we’ve covered everything there is to know about this news, let’s talk about thej first and only time I wore yoga pants in public when I was not going to the gym.
I’m one of those people who has issues with sweatpants in public. I know, I know. Call me a judgey jerk. You might be correct. But I have issues with loungewear, pajama pants, or anything meant to wick sweat away from your body when you aren’t exactly lounging, sleeping, or sweating. Honestly, unless I’m working out, I don’t even wear tennis shoes. It’s that serious.
But right around my 8th month of pregnancy, as even my maternity clothes began to feel tight and I had a hard time bending down to put on shoes and socks, I began to seriously consider the idea of yoga pants in public. See, my yoga pants were the most comfortable thing I owned. And all I wanted at that point was to be more comfortable in any way possible.
It was December, and I thought I had all of my Christmas presents bought and wrapped. As always happens when you think you’ve planned ahead perfectly, I realized that I had forgotten to grab some stupid, generic gift for an extended family member. It was cold and gross outside, and I needed to go to the mall.
I went for it. I left the house in yoga pants and a long maternity t-shirt that would cover my rear end. I headed to the mall to pick up the single item I needed, insecure about my lax look. At Macy’s, I ran into a co-worker of my mother’s and quickly tried to explain that I just needed a single thing and the baby was kicking my rib cage and I just couldn’t put on regular pants. She looked at me like a crazy person. Which I was, at that point.
When I got home, I flopped myself on to the couch and looked down at my yoga pants, angry at them for being so temptingly comfortable and stretchy. I quickly promised myself never to succumb to their temptations again. I would wear my maternity jeans or a tent-like dress and tights if it killed me.
I do not tell this story to shame Jessica Simpson for wearing sweat pants in public. I realize that I am the odd person out here. Most women wear comfy clothes when they’re pregnant. Most women do not have psychological episodes from wearings sweats to the mall.
This story just gave me flashbacks and I thought you might want something more interesting to talk about than Jessica Simpson wearing sweat pants and a t-shirt.
(Photo: Pacific Coast News)